13

Mabel

I had the first dream from the Goddess Violetta in years after speaking with Andre. She made it clear that she would "forgive" me for not following her plan better if I helped him after all the good he'd done.

Apparently, I'd moved far past ever being a doll because it angered me.

And I told her that.

The first thing I did was pray. I told her that I would do it because I wanted to help him too and others who could use it, but I did not want, nor need, her forgiveness. I wasn't going to be her doll either. I was mine.

No more Mabel the puppet who couldn't think or speak or do anything for herself. If the goddess wanted to share information with me to help the kingdom, I would accept that.

But I'd done nothing wrong. I'd done my duty and what was expected of me. I'd been a child basically when I'd been married. A child before when my father had trained me and made me do everything I did.

If she wanted something else from my life, then life shouldn't be the way it was for women.

Hopefully, she heard me this time that it was in a prayer and not something I simply said. Though clearly, she was paying attention if she knew I'd spent time with Andre.

I felt my face flush simply thinking of him. I had been so wrong about him, and I needed time to rethink every interaction so far.

And stop thinking about how he looked with his shirt open. It was the first time I felt something as a woman like others spoke of. Never had a man made my heart flutter, but when he stood in front of me dressed like that with his bright hazel eyes happy to see me… My whole body was a mess.

I had just finished dressing and stood in my completely empty kitchen trying to figure out what to do and handle the piles of things I needed to do when the gate doorbell rang.

That was terrifying in itself, and I couldn't seem to get my feet to move at first, but after the second time, I headed for the door. I opened it and was shocked to see two men standing by a carriage with a driver. "Can I help you, sir?"

They both bowed to me and pulled out badges. The one who had pressed the bell spoke. "My Lady, the commander asked you accept us as guards for today while he works out a plan to bring to you. He asks you not be upset with him, but he was worried for your safety until arrangements are made."

The other man cleared his throat. "And I was rather pushy to have extra income on my off day. I am saving up to get married. I apologize if we upset you, My Lady."

I moved away from the door and headed towards them. I did a double take as I met the gaze of the first while I was closer. "You were there that first day."

His eyes flashed shock. "Yes, I was in the room to start, My Lady. I am glad you recognize me so you know this is valid."

I might have said more, but a carriage pulled up behind them and Count Follan was out of the carriage before it fully stopped. I blinked in shock but then saw the knights with him, and one helped Kathy out of the carriage. "Did I know you were visiting?"

"Who are…" he started to demand of them but trailed off when he saw the badges. "She's not in trouble?"

I couldn't even get mad when I saw the worry in his eyes. I hurried to explain the situation to both of them, and the relief was so thick between them I thought they would lean on each other for support. Their matching reactions were amusing and showed just how close they were besides simply being related.

"I know I was an overbearing dolt, but I swear it was all out of concern and not—you are a very smart and capable woman, My Lady," the count said firmly. "You are my sister's friend and I rather like you too. I want you to survive to enjoy your freedom. That—I am sorry I handled it all so badly."

"He is," Kathy promised. "He's barely slept more than normal and got drunk last night he was so worried about your first night here."

"Oh, I cannot stay mad at you when you behave that sweetly," I grumbled, shooting the count the look he deserved but then huffed. "Fine, but you will stop lecturing me like I am a ward of yours and—"

"I lecture the grand duke all of the time, My Lady," he corrected. "That is where my lecturing and nagging comes from, not because I look down on you."

That explained it better and I said as much. "So you both rushed over first thing in the morning to help me?" I smiled when they nodded, focusing on the count. "I am sure you are incredibly busy and overwhelmed with too much. There is something that would help me immensely if you would do me the favor?"

He raised an eyebrow but nodded.

"I do not know how to cook. I have never hired staff. It was drilled in my head repeatedly that women are incapable of handling that. I know better now but… I would like food in my house. Soon."

He snickered and nodded. "I will put out feelers and find you someone. In the meantime, please allow one of our maids to stay with you. You can pay her. It's only temporary, but she is knowledgeable and can make you the basics."

I accepted, again almost laughing at the matching reactions of relief from the siblings.

"Is there anything else I can help you with to get settled, My Lady?" he asked.

I was about to brush him off and remind him that he had too much going on as well, but I paused. "How do I add myself to or sign up for the market reports? The ones Daniel and my father had beyond the newspaper. It was business sales and rankings and—"

"It's a membership, and you have to be a business owner to be eligible to get them," he explained.

I frowned. "Well, that seems unfair. How can one become knowledgeable on the market they wish to develop into if…" Right, it wasn't meant to be fair. It was to keep anyone from the turf of the rich. I sighed. "How petty."

"Yes, but it is the way of the world. What most people do is order an extra copy and give it to those they would probably invest in if they were to develop a business."

"I do not need nor want investors," I argued.

"No, that would be a risk for you as a single woman, but I am simply telling you how it works."

"Oh, thank you. Would you be willing to order me an extra copy even if I am not open to investors?" I was glad when he nodded. "And may I borrow any copies you have from the past year?"

"I'll have to get them from Ian. He saves everything, but I only keep a month, or the piles of papers and extras eat me," the count told me. He glanced between Kathy and me. "Could you take a few of our knights since my sister—"

"Of course, and nothing is on the agenda that would risk her," I told him firmly. "Not ever."

"I know." He let out a slow breath, giving me a smile. "I know, and I trust you, Countess. I love my sister too much to never not worry."

I wished anyone in my family had cared for me half as much.

He left with a few of the knights, and a few stayed along with my guards for the day.

"So what are we doing today, Mabel?" Kathy asked with a bright smile. "Are we buying more furniture? That was exciting and I learned a lot. Even Colin said that he was impressed after I told him all we did."

I opened my mouth but then closed it. "Actually, since you are here, we are going to do a bit of both. You are going to teach me how to handle a seamstress and dress shops. And I am going to teach you how to do market research so you know for when you become an investor or have a business of your own."

"Excellent," she agreed, not hiding her excitement well.

That died hard after two shops made it clear they wouldn't have someone like me as a client. She was flustered and apologetic.

"Why is it your fault that they are horrid?" I took her hand in mine. "I am glad I know so I did not spend my money at such places. I promise they will rue this day and I will never change my mind. Let's go find an up-and-coming shop so we can give someone a chance and much needed income."

"You knew this would happen," she sighed.

I nodded. "Evil has a far reach and too many listen to its influence."

It was actually one of the knights who knew which store for us to go to since his sister had and loved the quality. He made it clear that he knew nothing beyond that and didn't want to be held accountable if it wasn't up to our standard.

Still, I appreciated the help.

Which was why I stepped off to the side with him and made sure to have a list of places and people to tell the count about that were rude to his sister. She was with me, but Kathy had addressed them, and they'd snubbed her. The look the knight gave me promised it would be handled.

Excellent. Kathy deserved better than that.

The shop was a smaller boutique but well tended to and comfortable. The manager was nice and clearly did not care one bit about the gossip or would hold it against me. I could tell it was more than needing the sales and she was an ally.

I sat with Kathy and looked over the design book.

"The designs are lovely," Kathy said pleasantly but with hesitation in her voice. "But not of last season's trends, and the new season is months off."

"No, this designer is a trendsetter," I praised, flipping to the next page. "And very talented." I glanced at the manager. "Is she open to adjustments? I have scars on my chest that this design would make too obvious. Would she be willing to add some lace or something to accommodate me?"

She blinked at me a moment before snapping herself out of whatever she was feeling. "Yes, of course, My Lady. Whatever you need."

I thanked her and kept looking through the full book. "Does your shop take custom orders? I would like some pants and work clothes. I understand this is not the normal place, but it would be about convenience for me."

And they needed the work. The manager made it clear she knew exactly what I was doing and smiled at me, saying they would. They could have a different book delivered to me before lunch and I could pick whatever I wanted.

Perfect.

I ordered ten dresses for around the house, three that were day party level for when I would need to be in front of the queen again, and one ballgown to start.

Except then I didn't know how to pay. I was about to tell her that I would have to come back with more coins since I was a dolt, but Kathy seemed to understand and hurried to ask for a bank promise check.

Right, that was how nobles and the high-class paid for larger purchases. The furniture hadn't been much yet and such a hodgepodge from this place or another that I'd used my gold coins the knights had carried for me.

My stomach growled right as we wrapped up and we stopped at a café, the guards and knights shocked when I ordered food for them as well. If I was hungry, they must be.

"So what are you doing market research on?" Kathy asked me under her breath after our food arrived. It was adorable how she was acting like she was privy to secrets crucial to the kingdom instead of my business plans.

Still, I appreciated her caring that much and didn't want to embarrass her. "Skin creams. I am thinking skin creams and maybe some bathing products."

"Oh, I thought you would get into tonics," she admitted, bobbing her head.

"I probably will, but…" I let out a slow breath. "I wish to be selfish this first time. I do not care how my body looks so much as I want…"

"Your scars keep you from feeling truly free," she said gently, reaching over and patting my hand. "That's not selfish, Mabel. I have yelled at Colin many times that he cannot take care of me nor Ian if he does not take care of himself first. Take care of yourself first and be in a better position to help others."

"You are so wise and absolutely perfect, Kathy Follan," I told her firmly, smiling when she got flustered and blushed. "When your menstruation happens next, I will make a tonic for you that will help." I nodded. "It's one of the few recipes I know works like the one for your brother."

"You will make millions of gold if you can get that on the market," she muttered. "Truly."

"How to do any of it safely is always the main problem."

We headed to the closest store that Kathy said we would want, and I noticed my guards had their badges out this time. Obviously, they were over people being nasty to me and problems.

I was appreciative to say the least.

"Basically, you want a sampling and range of what's on the market?" Kathy checked as we finished at the third store.

"Yes, but also to see how it's marketed, displayed, and the feeling of places it's sold," I explained. "These are all for beauty enhancing or essentials. That will be different, but it's a solid base. I will also need to see how the apothecaries in the capital stack up as well."

"That's a lot of time and detail put into a single idea," she muttered. "I cannot see Colin going around shopping and looking over displays for their business."

"I do not believe your brother is in this type or manages one for the grand duke, but I am very sure he pours over reports and more that give him the same for those fields. If I was going to buy a mine and develop it, I would not be allowed in other mines to see their day in and day out. But you might look at jewelers to see who you might sell to."

She nodded that it made sense, but clearly it was a bit too tedious for her.

We went to several more places until it was time for lunch and I thought Kathy was going to beg me to stop. There was one place in particular that stood out among the others and for several reasons.

She was revived after food but only for a few more places to pick up creams and then Kathy hit her limit. She was going to come over to my house and give me feedback on all of my purchases… Except there were two different parties waiting for me.

And one had the royal crest on the carriage.

The royal knight handed me an envelope after checking I was the right person and gestured to one of the men with him.

"I am the royal apothecary and this is the royal herbalist, My lady," he explained. "As your housewarming present, the queen instructed us to aid you in setting up a workroom in your residence and using the palace's connections to stock it. All to be paid for by her."

"I-I appreciate such a generous gift, but the builders were going to make adjustments for me, and I have the funds to—"

"The queen was rather insistent that we expedite the hurdles and hoops for you that you might start your new life, My Lady," he said firmly.

Meaning I couldn't refuse.

Except I wasn't the passive doll Mabel anymore. "I would gladly accept, but it's fair to say that I am uncomfortable being alone in my house with two men I have never met," I replied just as firmly, staring him down. "It would also start whispers and rumors. So I appreciate the gift, but today is not the day, and I need to get the builder here as I already paid for that.

"If you give me a bit, we can discuss putting in orders for what I need through suppliers, and I would be glad to have those suppliers to use in the future. But I also was unaware my new life had some sort of schedule that was not of my own making. I understand this is probably an inconvenience for you, but it was not of my making."

Shock flashed in his eyes, but he dipped his head. "I apologize for upsetting you, My Lady. We can work with whatever schedule you need and however you feel comfortable. I meant to impress upon you that having us before the builders would make your life much easier as you will need more than simply many shelves."

"That's true and why I was already sketching some designs of what I wanted." I realized this was more than I wanted everyone there to hear and didn't even know who the other people were. I excused myself for a moment and went to handle that.

It was an officer with a note from Andre saying he had ideas for my security and people he wanted me to meet with if I could come by the station. I let out a slow breath and made a quick decision how to juggle this.

I thanked the officer and told him that I would be there in an hour or so before turning back to the royal apothecary. "I have to head to the police station to handle my security issues which are more pressing. However, tomorrow I will also have a female maid staying with me, so we can easily work on this project.

"For today, if you could walk the space with me and glance over what I was thinking, I think that will give us the start we need. I can see if the builder can come maybe the day after we work on a design and go from there. I will also need to purchase tools and…" I trailed off when the man's gaze told me not to be silly.

So the queen had already ordered it all?

Yes, the answer was yes. He handed me the list of what had already been ordered for my workshop and would be delivered the next day.

Apparently, being free didn't mean I wouldn't ever be railroaded again.

We did that, and Kathy had some great insights since she'd helped her brother remodel the pantry off the kitchen a few months ago. If nothing else, it was nice to have someone else on my side and female with how pushy the royal apothecary was… While the herbalist never spoke a word.

Lovely.

I headed to the police station, and the carriage was going to take Kathy home before coming back for me. I thanked her for all of the help and swallowed a chuckle at how tired she looked. Physically, I was exhausted since my body had been in such a bad state for so long.

She was mentally exhausted since she didn't normally handle this amount of decision-making in a day.

I smiled when I saw Andre, taking him in a whole new light. The people who worked for him clearly respected him and deferred to him.

"Thank you for coming, My Lady," he greeted with a bow.

"I apologize for not coming sooner, Commander," I replied. "I hope I did not impede your day."

"Not at all, and it worked out even better since something else came up." He led me to a meeting room where several people were waiting. He closed the door behind us and gestured to me. "This is Countess Mabel Sunde for those of you who do not know."

I cleared my throat and waited until he looked at me. "Phoenix actually. I changed my name. Quietly. People do not know that."

He frowned and then understanding filled his eyes. "You expect a problem from your family."

"Yes, once they inevitably find out how much my divorce settlement was," I admitted, seeing no reason to hide it from the people who might protect me. "I doubt what was said will matter much to their greed and they will think me forever theirs to control and milk for money."

"I understand. Smart move."

It was the grand duke's suggestion, and the judge allowed me to sneak it in right after the approval of my divorce settlement. I hadn't thought it needed, but once he explained a few things to me and where his concerns were, I thanked him profusely for protecting me.

"It's a very pretty name, My Lady," one of the women there said. "A family name?"

"No, a suggestion from Lady Kathy Follan," I admitted. "She said she loved stories about phoenixes because they always rose from the ashes. She said that she prayed that I did the same. I do as well, so that was what I picked."

She nodded, giving me a look that she found me surprising and something else. Pride? It was almost like she was proud of me, but I'd never met the woman before.

"That is Deborah and the other female officer is Reba," Andre told me. "The first layer of your security is simple. You cannot live alone in that big house."

"I agree. Count Follan offered to help me find a cook, but I am paying one of their maids to work for me for now. She arrives with dinner from the update I received."

"Good, that's—good," Andre said, looking relieved. "Both Reba and Deborah are junior officers. Meaning their roles are—"

"We're grunts, and we do not have to stay late or all hours like the officers is what the commander is too polite to say," Deborah told me. "I work the night shift, Reba the morning. That has one of us in your house throughout the day, exceptions pending, of course."

"Yes, and I would very much like to move out of my father's house, My Lady," Reba muttered. "He will not let me, and while the commander would handle it, I worry for my mother. You give me a way, and he cannot go against a noble nor start problems at my job."

"I understand. More than you know." I looked at Andre. "So they receive room and board to be a deterrent basically?"

"That's for you to offer, My Lady. I found you options and people willing to help and work with you. It's not my place or business to tell you how to handle it from here."

I beamed at him, all of the bad from my day melting away as this man gave me the faith and validation that I needed so much.

There were four other officers who were recovering from injuries and couldn't be on active duty. That might have seemed like a dumb idea given they were supposed to protect me, but there was one very big difference between police officers and knights or mercenaries.

They could carry guns. Legally and visibly.

Plus, Andre planned to make it widely known that my guards were off duty police, and that would make even the stupidest person think twice before coming after me. They'd have the entire police force in the kingdom after them for hurting the officers, not just for whatever they did to me.

There was also a list he was making of officers who were willing to take a shift on a day off like the ones I had right then. So I would always have three guards anytime I left the house, two recovering but more than capable and armed, and one active duty but off for the day. Plus, I would have someone overnight watching outside of my house.

I argued that in the winter it would be too cold, but the officers all chuckled. I couldn't hide my hurt, but then realized they did the same on their shifts for the police. They were outside on the street in the cold all of the time.

"Fine, but I need to get a firepit and wood. There's a hidden staircase into the basement. They can have a key for that entrance and step inside to warm up or make some tea without worrying they're waking anyone."

They thanked me, Andre smiling at me for being so nice to his people.

The last piece of the puzzle was that I needed to buy my own carriage. Too much could go wrong with renting carriages and people knowing that I did. All of the officers knew how to drive them, and it would be easy to handle, giving them the best way to protect me when I went out.

It was a genius, well-thought-out plan and I said as much, praising Andre in front of his people and adding how lucky the kingdom was to have him protecting them. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever have thought such a large man could blush.

But he did, and it was rather attractive if I was honest.