20. Alyssa

CHAPTER 20

ALYSSA

" P assengers be advised this is the final spaceport stop within the Interstellar Human Confederation," the speaker says as our star liner docks at Raminar Station on the edge of IHC space. "The remainder of our journey will be in space administered by the League of Non-Aligned Races."

Maar and I get up from our seats and head to the exit as the ship docks with the station.

"Please be aware that Martian Star Travel has suspended travel to and from the planet Luvon during the Kraaj occupation. Passengers with pre-existing tickets or transiting through Luvon are advised to approach the Customer Service kiosk for alternate travel routes during to current hostilities," the loudspeaker continues.

I shudder.

The IHC colony was brutally occupied by the Kraaj over a year ago and the fighting there has been intense.

I follow Maar through the crowded station, my mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. The bustling crowds and flashing holo-ads blur into a kaleidoscope of noise and color as we weave our way through the throng.

"We need to get you some new clothes," Maar says, his eyes constantly scanning our surroundings. "Can't have you standing out."

I snort. "Right, because that's my biggest concern right now."

He leads me into a small boutique, filled with an eclectic mix of fashions from across the galaxy. As he browses through racks of clothing, I can't help but shake my head.

"You know, when I imagined shopping with a guy, it usually involved more romance and less... kidnapping."

Maar pauses, a pained expression crossing his face. "Alyssa, I?—"

"Save it," I snap, snatching a tunic and pants from his hands. "I'll try these on."

In the changing room, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My eyes are red-rimmed, my hair a mess. I look nothing like the confident rehab coach I was just days ago. Anger bubbles up inside me, and I have to resist the urge to punch the mirror.

When I emerge, Maar nods approvingly. "Good. Now let's get some food."

We make our way to a food court, a dizzying array of alien cuisines assaulting my senses. Maar orders something that looks vaguely like noodles, and we sit at a small table in the corner.

"So, what's the plan?" I ask, stabbing at my food. "Keep running until your criminal buddies give up?"

Maar leans in, his voice low. "We're going to Glimner. It's outside IHC space, and I have contacts there who can help us disappear."

I laugh bitterly. "Disappear? Is that what you think I want?"

"It's what you need right now," he insists. "Alyssa, I know you're angry?—"

"Angry doesn't begin to cover it," I hiss. "You lied to me, Maar. About everything. How am I supposed to trust anything you say now?"

His eyes meet mine, and for a moment, I see a flicker of the man I thought I knew. "I never lied about how I feel about you."

I look away, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze. Part of me wants to believe him, but the wounds are too fresh, the betrayal too deep.

"Let's just find somewhere to rest," I mutter, pushing away from the table.

We locate a small hotel near the docking bays, renting a room for our layover. As soon as the door closes behind us, the weight of everything crashes down on me. I sink onto the bed, burying my face in my hands.

"Why me?" I ask, my voice muffled. "Of all the people in the galaxy, why did it have to be me?"

I feel the bed shift as Maar sits beside me. His hand hovers over my shoulder, hesitating.

"Alyssa, I?—"

I jerk away, nearly falling off the bed in my haste to put distance between us. "Don't touch me!"

Maar's face contorts with pain, but I can't bring myself to care. My skin crawls at the thought of his hands on me, hands that have killed, hands that were meant to end my life.

"I'm sorry," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I never meant for any of this to happen."

I laugh, a harsh, bitter sound that scrapes my throat raw. "Oh, you never meant for it to happen? Well, that makes everything better, doesn't it?"

He reaches for me again, and I scramble backward, my back hitting the wall. "I said don't touch me!"

Maar's hand drops to his side, defeat etched into every line of his face. "Alyssa, please. I know I've hurt you, but you have to believe me when I say I'm trying to protect you now."

"Protect me?" I spit the words like venom. "You were sent to kill me, Maar. How am I supposed to believe anything you say?"

He runs a hand through his hair, frustration radiating off him in waves. "Because if I wanted you dead, you would be. I've had plenty of opportunities."

His words hit me like a physical blow, and I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly cold. "That's not as comforting as you seem to think it is."

Maar stands, pacing the small room like a caged animal. "I know. I know this is all fucked up. But Alyssa, you have to understand. The moment I met you, everything changed. I couldn't go through with it."

I close my eyes, trying to block out his words, his presence, the conflicting emotions warring inside me. "Just... just leave me alone. Please."

He sighs.

"I can't blame you," he says. "I'll keep watch outside the door. Get some rest."

I hear the door click shut behind Maar, and I'm finally alone with my thoughts. The silence in the room is deafening, broken only by the distant hum of the station's life support systems. I slide down the wall, hugging my knees to my chest, and let out a shaky breath.

"What a mess," I whisper to myself, my voice barely audible.

My mind races, replaying every moment I've spent with Raaj—no, Maar. The tender kisses, the passionate nights, the quiet conversations. Was any of it real? Or was it all just part of his act?

Somewhere along the way, I fall asleep.