12. Indy

Chapter 12

Indy

I’ve spent the day a nervous wreck. I had a good dinner with Jeff, Iva, and Tinny. The chocolate cake was amazing as always. Iva has many talents, but baking is one of the top ones, that’s for sure. The chocolate soothed me, but not quite enough. There’s been no word from Breaker all day and I’m starting to feel the pain that I have no right to feel. I can’t believe I let myself care about a man that I don’t even know. With my history, you think I’d know better.

I shake my head. It’s almost nine. There’s been no word from Breaker. Iva texted me about three hours ago and told me that Cooper called and said they were on their way home. Apparently, it takes around four hours to get home from wherever they went. I alternate from being angry at myself and being pissed off at Breaker.

I’m pretty sure the anger at myself is winning.

“You’re stupid, Indy Anna Shelton.”

“What did you say?”

My body freezes as I look at the entrance to the kitchen. My kitchen wasn’t always open to the living room. When I bought the place, I knocked out the wall between them. It was load bearing though, so I had these gorgeous logs framing the now large entrance to support the weight. I loved it and it made it easier to know if someone was at the front door. Apparently, I was too deep in my misery to hear the door tonight, though. I frown at the intruder.

“How did you get in? I had the door locked.”

Breaker comes waltzing on in, as if he hadn’t just upset me. The asshole. He shocks the hell out of me by walking straight to the table, pulling me up from my chair and wrapping his arms around me, smothering me against his big, hard chest. I take a moment to just breathe him in. I might be mad, but I’m not stupid. I might not get this again, and for now I really need it.

I awkwardly put my hands on his hips as he keeps hugging me. I feel his chin on the top of my head and something about the way he is enveloping my body relaxes every muscle in my body. “Breaker?” I question after a few moments, because he still hasn’t said anything else.

“Just give me a minute, Indy Anna. Just a minute.”

My body tenses. Shit. I push away from him, annoyed now. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“It’s your name, right? I would have heard it eventually.”

“Doubtful. How did you get in my house anyway, you big jerk? I know I had the front door locked.”

“Cooper gave me his key. He thought you’d be asleep.”

I hold out my hand. “I want the key. It wasn’t his to give you,” I snap.

He lifts an eyebrow but reaches into his pocket and takes the key out and gently puts it in my palm. He doesn’t remove his hand from mine, though. He wraps his fingers around mine before placing the sweetest kiss on my forehead. “Do you want to tell me why you’re mad as a wet hornet, Doc?”

“I’m not mad. I’m irritated. There’s a difference, I grumble.

“Okay, so why are you irritated ?”

I blow out a breath, trying to get control of my emotions. I can’t confess that I’m upset he’s been distant, or that he left without telling me anything about what he was doing. Technically, it’s none of my business.

“It has just been a rough day,” I answer. I’m kind of proud that I’m not lying to him. “Would you like a piece of Iva’s chocolate pie? I was still hungry so, I found myself down here,” well one small lie isn’t bad. I wasn’t so much hungry as I was sulking.

“Sure. Cooper and I ate in a small street café when we met his buddy, but I couldn’t truly eat. I had a lot of information to digest.”

I stare up at him. “I heard you were getting some answers about your past. Although, I guess I wasn’t supposed to know.”

“Indy …”

“Sit. I’ll get the pie,” I mutter.

“Indy, it wasn’t that I didn’t want you to know. I planned on telling you.”

“It doesn’t matter, Breaker. It’s not like I have a right to know.” I dish up two saucers of the pie with vanilla ice cream on the side. I put one in front of him and then sit beside him with my own. I steadily avoid looking at him.

“Apparently, my name is Matthew, but my mother and two sisters call me Mattie.”

“You met them?” I ask, dread filling me.

“No. Cooper’s friend was a member of the Tennessee chapter of the Savage Brothers. He knows me and my family pretty well, actually. He was different. I liked him. He actually showed me pictures of everyone he kept in his wallet, not his phone.”

“That’s different,” I agree. “Am I supposed to call you Matthew now?”

“You can, if you want. I’m not sure I want my woman to call me Mattie.”

“Your woman?”

“That’s what I said.”

“You’ve barely spoken to me since the night you kissed me, and now you think you can just call me your woman?” I scoff.

“I’ve barely spoken to you because I knew if I didn’t put some distance between us, I’d claim you before finding out anything about my past. I don’t think you understand how desperate I am for you, Doc.”

“You barely know me.”

“Indy—”

“It has been a while for me, but I’m pretty sure if you want to date a woman you don’t move out of the house and ignore her,” I point out, taking a bite of my ice cream.

“You made it clear I needed to find out if I had a woman waiting for me. I don’t, by the way.”

“You’re sure?”

“Devil seemed to know everything about me and had pictures of my family, so I’m fairly certain.”

“When are you going to tell your family you’re alive, or have you?”

“I wanted to hold off and just spend some time with you and Tinny. I’ll meet with them, but nothing sparked a memory tonight. I don’t want to look at them and admit that I have no idea who in the hell they are. I need time to prepare for that. I guess that sounds selfish,” he explains with a sigh.

“It sounds human. It’s really not fair, though. You may not know them, but they love you. They’re worried and grieving right now.”

“Can you give me a couple of weeks?”

“I don’t matter here. You’re the one that has to go meet with them, Breaker.”

“I want you with me when I go, Indy. I told you I wanted you. That’s not changing. I want you in my life. I know I don’t have much to offer you right now, but I’ll figure it out somehow.”

“It seems like a bad time for both of us. I don’t think I’m ready.” I let out a squeal when he grabs my chair, manhandles it and somehow pulls it out and picks me up with little effort at all. He remains sitting through it all, just using the brute muscle of his upper body as lifts me and pulls me into his lap. “Breaker!”

“Decided against calling me Matthew?”

“You don’t look like a Matthew. Breaker fits better. Are you going to let me sit in my own seat?”

“Not right now. If I don’t look like a Matthew, then what do you think my name should be?”

“Sam. You look like a Sam.”

“Sam? Seriously. That’s just a boring name.”

“No, it’s not. Haven’t you ever heard of Sam Elliot? That man radiated sex appeal. He could sigh and every woman around him would overheat, melting their panties simultaneously around the world.”

He stares at me like I’m insane. Heck, maybe I am. I mean, not about Sam Elliot, because every woman knows that’s true. Still, I’m still trying to understand how I feel about everything that Breaker is saying. My heart is running away with me, and I need time to process all of it. I’ve been preparing myself to say goodbye to him and now he’s saying he wants me to go to Kentucky when he meets his family.

“The only man who will be melting your panties will be me, Indy.”

“Don’t you need to go back to the bunkhouse or something?” I huff.

“Speaking of names, is your name really like the state—Indiana?”

I roll my eyes. “My name is Indy. My parents weren’t the best. Well, my father was the worst, mostly because he disappeared as soon as he discovered I was planted in my mother’s belly—a fact she never let me forget. My mother wasn’t the best, although she did take care of me until I graduated from high school, so I give her props for that. Because she’s a bitch and thought it’d be funny, she gave me the middle name Anna.”

“Yikes,” he laughs.

“Incidentally, Indiana was the state in which I was conceived, apparently under the bleachers of a high school football game. This is another fun-loving story my mother loved to tell everyone.

“She sounds like the life of the party.”

“If the party is in hell, sure,” I respond drolly.

“Could I interest you in sharing a bed with me tonight?” he asks out of the blue.

“Um … I don’t think that’d be a good idea.”

“What if I promise to keep all my clothes on and do nothing but hold you all night?” I narrow my eyes at him. “I’ll be on my best behavior. I just had a really stressful day, and I’ve missed the hell out of you, Indy.”

“You promise your clothes stay in place?” I question. He nods his agreement. “You’ll stay on your best behavior—not even a hand venturing where it shouldn’t?”

“I promise. I’ll be a good little boy. Scout’s honor.”

“You were never a Boy Scout, where you?”

“No idea, can’t remember,” he jokes. “Still, I promise all of the above. Still, if you want to try something on me, I’m not going to object.”

“Yeah, that’s not happening. Let’s rinse these dishes then. I’m tired.”

“Sounds good,” he says, standing up with his empty plate. I hadn’t even realized he had eaten all of his while we spoke. In my defense, I was trying not to look at him too closely. I know I’m probably making a mistake tonight. I just couldn’t say no. It’s weak, I know. The thing is, though, I really want him to hold me while I sleep. Right now, that sounds like the closest thing to heaven I’ll ever experience. I don’t really answer to anyone but myself, so I’m going to ignore that small voice that tells me I’m making a mistake.

At least for tonight.