Brando

brANDO

I’ve been staring at the wheel of my car ever since I found a parking garage in town.

I’m tired, in desperate need of sleep, but I can’t get over the fact that I’m actually in Perkins Grove. There are a ton of memories that washed over me as soon I saw the town limit sign, and not all of them are good.

I haven’t decided yet if I should take a nap before I head out into the darkly lit morning, or if I should just back out of this spot and head back to Saint Miles.

Again.

I rest my forehead against the steering wheel, my hands tightly gripping the sides. No one knows it, but I did come back one time. I had been surfing the ‘net and found something that caught my eye, and since I hadn’t planned on doing much that day, I stole Dad’s car and drove down to see her .

She never knew I was here, though, because I made it a point to keep to the proverbial shadows. I managed to get in and out of Perkins Grove without causing any unnecessary discourse, which would have happened considering that both of her parents were there, too.

What bothered me the most, what made me want to leave as quickly as I did, was watching her with another guy. The way they looked a little too comfortable together made me so angry that I left. But it also broke my heart to know that she had so easily forgotten her best friend. Her hide and seek partner that would do anything to make her laugh, and steal a kiss whenever I could.

I blow out a breath, run a hand back through my hair, then decide to just get out of the fucking car. I’m not going to ever do what needs to be done if I just sit here thinking about the last time that I saw her, and how much it hurt me.

I remove the keys from the ignition and pocket them as I push open the driver’s side door and step out. It’s a brisk morning in Perkins Grove, which instantly puts me in a better mood. I’ve always liked feeling the chill against my skin, so knowing that at least some things never change is encouraging.

As I start walking through the garage levels, finding my way to the ground floor, I realize how strange that can sound. The thing about me is that I felt like I lost myself after I saw her with him, and that’s when I decided to really change my aesthetic and look a hell of a lot harder. I figured if the outside reflected what the inside steadily became, no one would ever be able to hurt me again.

Especially not the way that day did.

But it’s not going to happen while I’m here, I assure myself as I shove my hands into my leather jacket pockets. I’m going to find Parker, tell her everything, and she’ll understand and love me the way she did when we were kids.

At least, I think it was love.

I chew the inside of my mouth thoughtfully as I walk out of the building and into the early morning sun. This town is still very Beaver Cleaver, and it makes me chuckle.

Pure, authentic Americana from days of yonder, and everyone felt content to keep it that way.

I think of the letter I wrote her as I start walking down the sidewalk. I can’t believe half of the things I put in it, and I’m hoping that I actually sent it to the right address, otherwise someone got a wicked surprise of frenzied scribbling.

I smile slightly as I reach the end of the block and raise a hand to shield my eyes as dawn starts to break evermore, and glance up at the streetlight.

Once it turns green, I’m going to keep heading toward the street where I sent the letter, filled with hope that I’ll see Parker, and that she’ll see me.

But I mean really see me.

As the boy that loved her, the teenager whose heart she broke, and the man that found a way to forgive her and love her again.

Besides, I’m not leaving this godforsaken town without my girl.

Whether she likes it or not.