19.Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

Bonnie

It’s been a long time since I sat around and did nothing, which probably explains why Eli checked in on me to make sure I was feeling okay when I told him he had the morning off. But Hank suggested we order in breakfast instead of going down to the hotel restaurant, and I was more than happy to oblige. The morning evolved into afternoon, and I was next to the man up until about an hour ago when I reluctantly returned to my suite to get ready for the wedding.

Nothing momentous happened last night. When I woke, Hank was already up and scribbling in his notebook again. Whether we cuddled during the night or not, I have no idea, but I feel more rested than I have in a long time.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I can almost see a change in me. It’s subtle, but I feel like there’s more life in my eyes than I’ve seen in a while. Hank is good for me.

When I go to do my makeup, I wish I could go without but know what the tabloids would do with any pictures that surfaced. I never minded that part of my life before now, but today I wish I could simply have fun and not worry about how I’m being perceived every second of the day. I wish I could just exist for myself for once.

I keep my makeup minimal, only doing my eyes and letting my freckles be out in full force today. Hank likes my freckles, and I want to give him every reason to like me today.

Just before I shimmy into my dress—a silky, sage green spring dress that cuts low in the front and hangs long and free in the back—my phone vibrates on the vanity beside me. Derek .

Derek:

Have fun today, Bonnie. Tell Houston congrats for me.

I purse my lips. Either Cole managed to get through to him last night, or Derek is pretending everything is fine. It could go either way.

Bonnie:

I wish you could have come with me.

Derek:

It’s better that I didn’t.

I hope you and Hank have a good time.

Every romantic movie I’ve been in is telling me that Derek is jealous, but that doesn’t make any sense. In the eighteen months I was Derek’s pretend girlfriend, he never once gave me any signs that he wanted our relationship to be real. He performed our breakup scene exactly as Fran wanted him to without any arguments. He knew I was terrified of making any long-term attachments, so why would he…

I lift my eyes to the mirror, staring at the renewed worry in my expression. Whatever life I had a moment ago is gone. “Derek has always wanted a family,” I mutter to my reflection.

That picture of you holding a baby spooked him. That’s what Cole said.

What if…what if Derek never showed interest because he was so certain I would never want something like that with him? And now that there’s speculation that I might…

Another text comes in before I can fully ponder that thought.

Derek:

Sometime while you’re in LA, will you check on Cole? He found out from Hot Scoop last night that Sage is dating someone from his old team, and I don’t think he’s taking it well. I think you can talk him out of a downward spiral.

I nearly throw my phone across the room but settle for tossing it onto the bed instead. What is with my friends suddenly deciding they need to keep secrets from each other and do everything indirectly? Cole wants me to talk to Derek, Derek wants me to talk to Cole, Kasey and Liam are in their own little happy world and oblivious to what’s happening around them. At least I know Freya is being open with me as she continues to complain about her endless stream of bodyguard candidates. But Derek hasn’t said anything to me about being in a bad mood, and Cole didn’t bother mentioning his girlfriend moving on with someone from his old football team, and I hate that we’re all falling into the bad habit of keeping our feelings to ourselves because it’s easier than being open and risking the world exploiting that vulnerability.

Fully frustrated and not especially in a wedding mood, I tug my dress on and reluctantly slide into my heels. Would Darcy find it rude if I end up barefoot for most of the reception after the ceremony? Right now, I’m too annoyed to care about presentation.

A gentle knock sounds on the door between suites, and the calm that washes over me is almost instant. Leaving my phone behind, I hurry to the adjoining door and pull it open.

“No rush,” Hank says, fiddling with his lopsided tie, “but the ceremony is starting in a few…” His words drop off as soon as he looks up, his jaw going slack.

I’ve spent enough time in designer gowns to be used to gaping looks, but there’s something about Hank’s gentle awe that buries itself deep inside my chest, like a ball of warmth that fills me to the brim with pleasure.

He slowly turns more and more red as he takes me in, eyes trailing over each aspect of my dress. When his gaze reaches mine again, his expression is full of nothing but admiration. “Wow,” he breathes. “You look…” He swallows. “Even more beautiful than normal, which I didn’t think was possible.”

That would be a great thing to say with people watching. The fact that he’s saying it when we’re alone gives me some hope that my growing feelings aren’t one-sided.

“You clean up pretty nice yourself,” I say and tug his tie loose so I can retie it. “Though, I’m guessing you haven’t had many reasons to wear a tie in the last few years.”

He shakes his head. “Not since the funeral.”

My hands grow still halfway through the knot, though it’s not like I forgot about what happened to his wife. It’s still such a crazy thing to think about. “Do you think you’ll ever find out what happened to her?”

Another shake of his head. “The trail went cold, and it wasn’t worth it for the police to keep looking into it.” Before I can say anything, he brushes his finger across my cheek and elicits a blush on my skin. “Bonnie, you are entirely breathtaking. ”

I can see the deflection for what it is. No Shelby talk right now, which is fine by me. Finishing up his tie, I gently tug it tight and then straighten his glasses as well, just to give me something to do that will keep me close to him. “Are you ready to face the wedding guests? If you’re next to me, they’re going to be giving you a lot of attention.”

To my complete surprise, Hank leans in until our noses brush, stealing my breath. “As long as I have your attention, I’ll be fine.”

Oh, he has it. He absolutely has it.