28. Black Bird

CHAPTER 28

BLACK BIRD

EVAN RACHEL WOOD

At first, I enjoyed staying with Chase again. The security system and high wall remind me I’m safe, while offering privacy, and I missed coming home to a pool, hot tub, and him every night. But things have become more than just rocky between us.

The day before Chase’s flight, we took Lulu to the dog park to play with one of her puppies, the one owned by Jamie and Lexi. We stayed toward the back of the park, keeping to ourselves and letting the dogs play. A fan recognized Chase and he let her take a picture of him with her dog. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t place her. Not long after the fan left, Lexi spotted a paparazzi standing on the roof of his car taking pictures of us. It didn’t bother me since I’d expected as much to happen, but it set something off in Chase and he hasn’t been the same since. He backed out of the project in Atlanta—or that’s what Dani told me. Chase told me they no longer needed him for the reshoots, blaming it on funding.

Now I don’t know who to believe—my boyfriend or the gossip bloggers my sister reads.

He talked to his therapist, and when he came back, he again promised he’d let me do my work and wouldn’t bother me. He spent half a day in the loft with Devin, moving furniture and painting the walls. He created a space just for me and even made a little reading nook so I could grade my papers while overlooking the pool. Things began moving in the right direction again.

The next day, Chase found a letter on the front door that shoved him back into the dark and moody recesses of his mind. He spent the rest of the day in the gym with the door closed and has been a revolving door of mood swings, getting worse by the day.

Today has been another example of peak moodiness bordering on the male version of PMS. He flips from clingy and horny to sulking and cold so fast, neither Pongo nor I can keep up.

I can’t help but think this has something to do with his ex. Did he drive her away with his behavior? Has this side of Chase been a red flag I missed before? The more distant he becomes, the more tempted I am to look into his history. But I don’t, because I want to trust him to tell me on his own. I haven’t even googled his brother, who has welcomed me into the house with open arms. Devin’s part of why I’m sticking it out and not going home. He’s a sweet kid, and he reminds me that Chase is like that, too, when he’s acting like himself.

The sound of drilling and hammering comes from the loft as Chase installs shelves even after I said I didn’t need them, so I’m sitting at the dining room table getting some grading done. I flip open another folder and I can already tell this one will take a while. The student transferred to my class a few weeks ago, and I’m glad he did. His intuition with programming far surpasses that of most of my other students. I have to take my time reading his papers to understand them. I’ve been trying to schedule meetings with his parents about after-school programs and robotics clubs, but it’s been hard getting times pinned down with their schedule and my now hectic life. I make a note on a piece of sticky paper to email them and see if we can’t set up a video call instead of being in person. This wouldn’t be a problem if I went home. Maybe we jumped into this too fast and we need to pump the brakes on this relationship. Or we should never have listened to our feelings and stopped at friends.

I zone out to the world around me, getting lost in the language of programming. Right as I’m getting to the meat of his report, Chase pulls my chair back from the table in a quick jerk.

“Chase! Fucking seriously?” I yell, upset with him. But when I glance up at him, I catch the glimmer in his eye that’s been missing for days. I don’t want him to lose it again.

He kneels in front of me, his palms on my knees and eyes getting darker the longer I stare into them. “I’ve been hard to be around lately, and I don’t mean to be—I hope you understand that. You are the warmth and sunshine against the darkness of my mind. I don’t want this, and I need to take responsibility for how I’ve been acting.”

“Don’t be hard on yourself, Chase. If you’re doing your best, that’s all I can ask.”

“I should be doing better than my best for you. I want to make you happy. I wanna make you laugh again. You look so damn amazing in this bikini. I wanna make you feel good, my queen.”

“Yeah, I look good in it, so let’s keep it ON and in only two pieces.” He cocks his head to the side and raises an eyebrow when I pull the crochet lace cover up closed. It doesn’t hide a damn thing, but it sends a message. “You big goof.”

His face drops to a pout.

“How am I supposed to say no to that cute, pouty face of yours?”

“You’re not. Or at least that’s what I’m hoping for.” His lips travel up my legs, but his eyes stay on mine. “My sexy as fuck teacher, busy grading papers. Interrupted by her naughty student. You should teach me a lesson.” His fingers play with the knot in my bikini bottoms.

“I’m going to teach you one hell of a lesson later if you don’t stop and let me get through these last few papers.”

“I can’t wait till later. Please,” he begs while his hands slowly push my knees apart. I’ve stopped fighting, and he’s aware he’s about to get his way, licking his lips like a hungry dog. This is my Chase, the one I’ve been falling for over the months. Playful, fun, a bottle rocket full of anxiety, always ready to explode.

I put the folder down, and he pulls me to the edge of the chair. He taps on a folder and wiggles his eyebrows, so I pick it up and start reading to him about the theory of robotics. His head moves to my side as I read, and he bites down on the string, pulling until it comes undone before moving to the other side at a leisurely pace. I like when he takes his time, exploring me like I’m some new adventure he’s never had before.

“Are you listening to me, Mr. Cooper?”

“Yes, ma’am. Algorithms. Programs.” He moves the fabric that’s between him and his treasure, licking his lips before he slides his finger through me. “Beep beep. Boop boop.”

“You’re going to have to work hard for that passing grade.” I lean forward, grabbing his hair and holding his head back. “Really, really hard, Puppy.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I want his mouth on my damn pussy, but he’s got other plans, focusing on other areas. He’s squeezing and biting anywhere he can get a hold of. There’s plenty of those on me. I gasp when his fingers do their slow, deliberate dance between my legs. Fireworks shoot through my spine every time the tip of his finger slides through me, ghosting my clit. My head rocks back in anticipation.

“Goddess?”

“Yes, Puppy?”

“Can we play tonight?” We haven’t even fucked in two days, but that’s not all he wants. He wants his release from the world. He wants me to tie him up and tear him apart. It breaks my heart that he’s asking, but heals my heart to know it helps him.

“What would you like to do, Chase?”

“I’m not sure. I think I’m ready to try something new. I like when you teach me new things.” His eyes light up as he remembers to add, “I mean, the ropes have been on the bed for a week now and, well, we haven’t used those yet. How do I earn that?”

“Oh, Puppy. We’ve barely even scratched the surface, but I have a few things in mind we could try. For now, keep doing what you’re doing and that will earn you some extra credit in class.”

Hunger has come into his eyes and spreads down his body. He hoists my legs up onto the arms of the chair. He pulls me closer, licking one long strip up my center. Something’s on his mind. I can tell because he’s only giving me half his focus—still a million times better than some men give when eating pussy. Nevertheless, if anyone needed a poster boy for the belief that a man can’t think while he’s fucking, or fuck while he’s thinking, it’s Chase. It’s also adorable.

“What will you do to me when I’m tied up?” he asks, before licking deeper.

“Oh, I’d start by riding your face so you’d shut up and give me what I want.”

“I’ll do anything for you,” he hums, his tongue sliding through me before he closes his mouth over my clit, sucking and flicking until I’m seeing stars. I’m not sure who taught this man the right way to use his mouth, but bless her. In fact, I hope she’s out there giving classes to other men.

He sucks in soft, quick pulses while two fingers part my lips. He wants to draw this out, wants it to last as long as he can make it. Last time he tried this tactic, we ended up with his cock in my mouth. Not that I mind. He has a fantastic cock. He went right back to work after I got him off, making sure I had more orgasms than common sense. Walking into class the next day proved difficult, and I regret none of it.

I play with his hair, twisting it around my fingers and pushing it out of his face so I can watch him. His fingers splay, stretching me open. They push deeper and curl, finding my g-spot with ease as my toes curl. A man who can find both a clit and a g-spot should win some kind of Oscar in my mind. I slide my nails through his long, soft, caramel swirled hair and tell him how good he is. He loves his praise, so I shower it on him.

“Right there, baby. Make me scream for you and your magic tongue.”

I’m thankful when he finds the pace he wants to set and lets his tongue draw circles over me. I push his face into me as I get closer to what we both want. “Just like that, baby. Oh god! Fuck me, Chase! Make me come on your gigantic cock!”

He picks me up and drops me on the table. As he goes to pull his cock out, he freezes and looks away from me.

“I can’t…do this.”

“Chase?” He doesn’t answer, swearing under his breath. “Baby? Come on, what’s the matter?”

“I can’t do this…not again. Not again.”

I sit up, reaching for him, but he shrinks away from my touch. This has got to stop, and it has to stop now. “Chase Cooper, you need to talk to me. We’ve been doing this dance for a week. This has more behind it than just paparazzi or me going home.”

“I fucking can’t!”

Without looking at me, he storms into the kitchen, leaving me half naked on his dining room table. He opens the fridge so hard the bottles on the door rattle and threaten to break—just like my heart. When he comes back out, he has a beer in his hand and he walks right by me, heading to the patio. I watch Pongo follow him as Chase drags a chair about as far away as he can get, turns it away from the house, and sits with his head in his hands. As badly as I want to go to him, I don’t think that’s what he wants right now.

I pick up my phone and call my sister.

“Yo, are you ever coming home or should I hire movers for your shit?”

“Soon. Hey, can you give me Jamie’s number? Something’s going on with Chase and I want to talk to someone who knows him better.”

I jot the number down on a folder, and once we’re done talking, I call Jamie. He doesn’t answer, so I leave him a message.

“James, it’s Ren. Uhm, I need some help with Chase. He’s acting unusual lately, and frankly, it’s getting worse. I’m hoping that I’m not meeting the real Chase right now, because I don’t like it.” It sounds like I’m calling a parent about a child who’s misbehaving, which isn’t the tone I wanted, but it fits the circumstances. I keep the information vague while fighting to keep the quaver out of my voice. The familiarity of hiding my fear only makes it worse. “I’m worried about him.”

I leave him my number, pull my robe back on, pack up the few remaining papers I need to grade, and head upstairs to the loft. We both need a little space right now. As I set up the pillows and get comfortable, my phone buzzes. It’s not showing a caller ID, but it could be Jamie, or a parent, so I answer it.

“Renate?” a familiar voice asks, but I can’t place it. “Richie Lawson here from the studio. I’d like to talk to you.”

Of course, I didn’t recognize his voice because he never once said my name. “I believe you said all that you needed to at the charity function, don’t you?”

“Chalk it up to me being drunk. Okay, princess? This concerns Chase Cooper more than it concerns you or me. His past, and his future.” He says Chase’s full name as if I wouldn’t recognize the name. I should ask for a sincere apology before continuing, but it will never come.

“What about him?”

“I’d rather discuss it in person. Can I send a car for you tomorrow afternoon?”

“No, I have meetings scheduled.” I don’t hang up on the prick, and I can’t explain why. Curiosity, or the off chance he might be behind whatever’s bothering Chase? “What about Thursday? I’ll meet you somewhere.”

“Thursday works fine.”

He agrees to meet at a bar that Dani and tried a few months ago. Public, but not so public he’ll refuse. The call ends with an ominous warning to not tell Chase about the meeting. I plan on telling Chase, but not until I figure out what Lawson’s up to. I need to see what this fucker wants before I get Chase involved. Especially given his emotional state. I don’t want him getting into any more fights with Lawson or doing something stupid. My phone rings again, but this time I recognize the number.

“Jamie?”

Someone giggles in the background before he clears his throat. “Yeah, hey, sorry about that. I was, uhm, busy helping Lexi. I got your message. How weird is weird?”

I tell him about everything that’s happened since the dog park, about the last few days, and how fine of a line Chase now walks around me. I’ve got thick skin; it comes with the territory of being a teacher. I can take a lot of bullshit from people, but I have my limits. Even shorter limits for the people who are supposed to care about me. Chase has tested those limits far too often since I got here.

“He hasn’t exactly crossed into red flag territory, but he’s dangerously close. He’s under a lot of stress right now, but it’s not an excuse to be a dick.” He’s stayed clear of the one boundary of mine that has no lenience. Violence. He gets mad, and occasionally has shouted, but he’s shown no signs of being abusive, in either the physical or emotional sense, toward anyone but himself. I just wish he’d stop trying to hide his pain from me like I don’t see it. I’m not making excuses for him; I’ve done that before and it doesn’t end well. “If he doesn’t open up to me soon, or if he crosses any of those lines, I’m not sure we’ll be able to recover. I’m not sure I’ll want to.”

“I understand. I planned on coming over anyhow. I have some stuff I need to run by him for an event. I’ll be there in an hour.”

“Thanks, Jamie. I hope he opens up for you.”

“If not, I’ll gladly kick his ass back in line. He’s an idiot if he loses you, Ren. You’re an amazing person, and you two are good together. Hang in there if you can. I guess you already are since you’re calling me instead of walking out, but you get what I mean. ”

“I do. It will take more than whatever this is for me to walk out on him, but he’s getting too close to that edge.”