20. Tainted Love

CHAPTER 20

TAINTED LOVE

CHASE HOLFELDER, TOM EVANS

Monday morning greets me with a pounding headache and stiff joints, so I’m relieved to find a handful of students already trying to figure out the smart screen. I crawl on top of a table with the instruction manual and the remote and I get everyone involved so we can learn together. I need to figure out how the damn thing works since I’ll be the one giving a crash course to the other teachers. Students helping means I’ll have two dozen mini tech support agents at the ready to assist the other teachers and staff.

It takes three class periods before we get a handle on how the board works and what it can do. It’s pretty amazing—I can’t lie about that—and the kids are loving it. I end up giving them assignments for extra credit to research and present programs and applications we can use in the classroom. It makes my work a little easier and makes them think about practical uses of electronics outside of robots and drones. As the classroom empties for lunch, I head to the back room and pull out my salad and my phone.

Good morning. You know I hate you right now, right?

Snuggle Puppy

Morning, Sunshine. What did I do this time?

I now have to teach a school full of teachers how the fuck to use these things.

Snuggle Puppy

Shit, I forgot all about the boards. Well, if it helps you feel any better…

[Image Attached]

I almost choke on my apple when the picture loads. He holds up a script for the company that makes the smart boards while he makes a goofy face. It never dawned on me he would trade his talent instead of just returning the one he got for me or dropping the cash. This man has more layers than Shrek. And the goofy face he’s making has me blushing.

Snuggle Puppy

Can I call you after you get out of work?

You can call now if you’re free. I’m on my lunch break.

The phone rings almost immediately and I’m giggling as I answer it. “A little jumpy, Mr. Cooper ?”

“Is it wrong that I want to record you saying my name and just listen to it over and over again?”

“Depends on what you’re doing while you’re listening.”

“Fuck, you’re dirty in all the right ways. When can I see you again?”

“I saw enough of you yesterday.”

“Yesterday? One shower and a little messing around in the car? And here I had me believing you’re as insatiable as I am.”

“Depraved, Chase. Anyhow, Dani and Mama binge your movies, and they made me join in the marathon.”

“ All of them?” His voice drops and if I wasn’t in school right now, so would my damn panties. His voice alone could make me come. We should try it sometime. “Even the ones with the sex scenes?”

“Mm hmm. Like that one where your head ends up between that skinny girl's legs while she moans out your name. I got several choice looks from both my sister and my mother when they watched that.” I let the next part come out soft and breathy, well aware it will drive him wild. “I get so fucking wet seeing you like that, knowing exactly what your tongue can do when you shut up long enough to use it.”

“Don’t make me drive to that school to do very unethical things to you on that desk after you punish me for being a bratty student.”

“You’re cute with your little teacher fantasy. If you were here, I’d have you screaming my name, Papi .”

“Fuck, you’re making it hard to drive right now.”

“So pull over and show me—crap, never mind. The students are shuffling back in early to play with the screen. I need to go. I haven’t put security features on it and these kids will totally try to pull up porn.”

“Okay,” he laughs. I’m about to hang up when he shouts out. “Wait! Real quick, uhm, do you want to go to a hockey game tomorrow night? Not a date. We’re using the box tomorrow to watch Devin, so it will be a bunch of people.”

“Tomorrow? I would, but I think Dani has a gig, so I can’t use her car.”

“No problem, I’ll pick you up! I’ll be there around six.”

“Make it six thirty if you can. We have a couple of meetings after hours tomorrow.”

“No problem, gorgeous. I’ll even bring you a jersey.” He sounds giddy over the idea of me in a jersey. I’ve unlocked another kink on this pretty boy. “Have an amazing day at school, Sunshine.”

* * *

“Dani?” I flip on the lights when I get home from work the next day. As I walk around the house, I pull out my phone and text my mother to see if she made it to her sister’s safely. As I get to the hallway, there’s a noise from the back of the house. I yell out for Dani again, but again, no answer. This old house loves to make noise.

I follow the noise to the kitchen, where I find a stack of Mama’s gossip magazines on a side table. Chase’s smiling face looks up at me from the cover of the tabloid and I can’t help but smile back. Curiosity gets the better of me and I grab the magazine to flip through it. As I do, something slides out and falls to the floor. I pick it up and find it’s a photo from my teenage years. I’m dressed in my conservative white gown and I’m beaming. I wish I could go back to that day and tell the younger me to run and never look back. He’ll change, but it won’t be for the better. He never loved you.

“Huh.” I flip the photo over to check for writing. “How did that get in there?”

“I put it there.” I freeze at the voice and don’t turn around. If I don’t see him, maybe he isn’t real. Maybe I’m having a nightmare. His boots land louder with each step as he walks up behind me. “Hey, pretty mama. Miss me?”

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I saw your mom leave, so I figured I’d come over and keep you company. Like the old days. You remember the old days, don’t you? How I’d sneak in your window and crawl into your bed? Take off that pretty nightgown while your parents slept in the next room. Fuck, you smell good.” He spins me around and smiles, his two gold teeth glittering in the overhead light. He pulls a small bouquet from behind his back. Sunflowers. “I saw that tattoo you got yourself after we separated. Figured these would help you see that I still love you, baby.”

“We’re divorced, Luis. We’re not separated, and you’re not supposed to be here.”

“You’re my wife! This is my house!” he screams before he glances down at the picture in my hand. “I just want my lady back where she’s supposed to be. My fucking bed!”

“I’m not yours anymore, Luis. You need to leave.” My voice shakes as I panic. He has me blocked in, my cell phone tucked away in my purse across the room.

Luis grabs me, pulling me up off my feet and slamming my head against the fridge again and again. Five years of recovering, finding myself again, and therapy, all gone in an instant as I revert to the scared young girl that learned about the real him. Just like before, I’ll do anything he wants to stop the pain. Anything.

“You don’t talk to me like that, you fucking puta .” I turn my head as he slides his nose up my cheek. His breath smells like cigarettes and booze. “My boys tell me you’re with some rich white boy now. You fucking him?”

“It’s nothing, Luis. I swear.”

“No shit, baby. Nobody could love your fat, disgusting, stupid self but me. Do you hear me?!” he shouts into my face. “Do you need a fucking reminder of who the fuck you belong to?”

“Luis, please? Please don’t.”

“You worthless bitch! You were whoring around behind my back?” I can’t tell what he’s on now, but when we were together, he took every drug he could get his hands on. He smacks me across the face, and the copper taste fills my mouth. Nothing has changed. Not even me.

Luis came with so many red flags, so many signs that I should leave him, but I never did. I wish I could say I left him once I found out about the gang and the drugs. I didn’t though. I didn’t leave when he hit me. I didn’t even leave when he threatened to shoot me. That wasn’t enough for me, I guess.

“W-we’re divorced, Luis. We’re not together anymore. I don’t belong to you.” I fight back tears. He wants me to cry, to break down. It turns him on. Sick fuck.

“You belong to that fucking white boy now? Don’t talk like that! You’re my girl, baby. Till death do us part, remember?” He tries laying on the charm like he always did. He slides his nose along mine and presses against me as he squeezes my breast. I want to throw up. “You know what? Your papi knows what you need. I’ll give you another baby right now. Maybe this time, you won’t be a stupid bitch and I won’t have to hit you so hard.”

“No—” I whimper.

He grabs me and spins me around, groping my breasts and pushing my face against the fridge door as he grinds against me. His hand drops as he tries to undo my pants. “Fuck, I missed that fat ass bouncing on my fucking cock while you cry. I’m gonna fuck the memory of that stupid white boy right outta your head. And if that don’t work, I’ll beat him outta you and go fucking put a bullet between his damn eyes. Bye-bye, movie star.”

I try to push his hands away, but he’s strong and presses his body harder against me, making it hard to breathe.

“Stop fighting me, bitch. Just admit you want this. You need me to remind you of your place, huh, baby?” His hand wraps around my throat and squeezes hard. “Don’t you remember the last time you tried to run away from me? You’re fucking mine, whore.”

I remember.

I had shut myself in the bedroom and called the police. He didn’t even care that had the dispatcher on the phone. He broke the door down and dragged me out of the room by my hair. Throwing me to the ground, he kicked me in the stomach over and over. He grabbed me off the ground by the hair again, threatening to kill my family if I tried to tell the cops what happened.

Bloodied and bruised, with chunks of my hair pulled out, I lied for him. They believed my lies without question and threw me in the back of an ambulance. They never even looked at him, at my blood on his knuckles and the toes of his boots.

I tried to tell them the truth at the hospital, but they didn’t believe me. They listed my miscarriage as caused by an accident. A fall down the stairs. My house only has three steps, and they lead up to the front porch. They didn’t care. l finally tried to tell the truth, and no one listened to me.

There’s a noise outside, the crunch of tires on the gravel that pulls me out of my memories and back to Luis and the pain.

Please, don’t be Chase. Not yet. Luis will kill him without a second thought.

“You want me to have my boys over? Give your fat, useless ass to them for a few hours? You’ll learn real quick how nice I am to my baby girl—Who the fuck?” I hold my breath and wait as Luis releases me and darts into the living room. There’s a loud knock, followed by a voice I don’t recognize.

“Yo, Dani? It’s Martin. Are you home?” I don’t make a sound while Luis panics, mumbling about the cops. He’s so high, he can’t tell reality from hallucinations. “Come on, we’re gonna be late for the gig.”

Another voice calls out, further away and higher in pitch. Dani.

“Marty the Party! Shit! Sorry, I swung over to see Ms. Ruiz because she makes these amazing empa—never mind. You’ve had some. Come on, I’ll show you the equipment so we can load up and get on the road.”

I yell out as she opens the door. There’s the sound of a scuffle and Dani swearing. I crawl to the kitchen door and see Luis push past Martin and run out of the house.

“And stay out, motherfucker!” Dani yells, throwing a flower vase after him.

Blood slides down my neck from where he smashed me against the fridge, and I can’t hold my head up any longer. A dense fog coats the world and I feel Dani’s hand in mine. Black creeps into the edges of my vision as I try hard to not pass out.

“Ren?” The voice makes my heart skip a beat.

“Chase!” my sister yells. “She’s hurt, bad.”

“Fuck! What happened?”

“Her ex. I don’t know how he got in.”

“Ren, can you hear me, baby?”

Baby. It should sound sweet from Chase, but I only hear Luis calling me that as he hit me. Pain and blood are the only things I can concentrate on now.

“Okay, come on.” Chase scoops me up like I weigh nothing. I want to wrap my arms around him and cry into his shoulder, but my body isn’t listening to me anymore. “I’m taking her to the hospital.”

“We called for an ambulance,” Martin says, but he sounds like he’s gone underwater. Odd since we don’t have a pool.

“They’ll take too long and take her to the wrong fucking hospital. Dani, text me all of her info. Your mom probably has it.”

“What info?! My mom is in Mexico visiting my tía!”

“Find your mom. I need her medical history!”

There’s more they say, but I can’t focus anymore. The sunlight burns my eyes even though they’re closed, and my head throbs, but even as I struggle to stay awake. I’m not scared anymore, though. As Chase carries me out of the house, I only feel one thing beyond the pain. Safe.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Chase,” I mumble as he gets me into the car and buckles me in. “No! I’ll get blood on your seats.”

“Seriously?” He cups my face and I try to look at him, but I can’t figure out which of him I should focus on. “Hang on, Renate. Just hang on, okay?”

He kisses my forehead, and the world goes dark.