Chapter 12

The last twoweeks had begun to feel like I was in a washing machine stuck on an endless spin cycle. First there was Natasha, and then there was Tom.

I kept thinking about his words last night. ‘Part of the service' – is that really all he thought it was? He kissed me, more than once. We had a wonderful day together as just Tom and Lennox, not the bodyguard and the singer.

Yet, when it came to say goodnight, he brushed it all off with a throwaway comment. I could have sworn there was a flicker of regret on his face the second he said the words, but I was starting to doubt my ability to read anything with him. I thought there was attraction between us. That we had connected.

This was all too much to think about. I needed to escape it all for a while again. I pulled out my phone, googled parks, lakes–anything that was nearby and would allow me to get out of my own head for a while again. It was almost like everything that had been achieved by a day at the beach had been wiped out with a silly miscommunication.

I waited until the corridor was busy with housekeeping staff and slipped out. Covered by the cart full of cleaning supplies, I managed to avoid being seen by Levi and slipped into the back fire escape stairs. By the time I hit the street, I couldn't wait to find a cab and just get away from everything that had me circling the idea of using my old crutch of booze.

I didn't knowhow long it had been before I arrived at Jesmond Dene. There was a water course running through where an old mill had been and a small waterfall. I needed that serenity to bring me back to the calm necessary to see out the next few weeks. I just had to get through the tour, and I had never been more grateful that I had insisted on it being small and short.

After walking for what felt for miles, I finally found myself standing on a bridge in front of the waterfall. Behind me stood the ruins of the old mill, in front of me, the bubbling of water was already starting to soothe me. When I turned to try to get myself closer to the waterfall a familiar and unwelcome face greeted me.

"Lennox."

"Natasha? What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked, battling to hide my panic.

"I just needed to see you." The look on her face was so happy and peaceful. It was a stark contrast to the fear and panic that she so regularly put on mine. "You haven't written to me in ages, and I just wanted to make sure that you were getting my gifts."

Writing to her?

I had no idea what she was talking about. "Natasha, this really needs to stop."

She smiled at me and I felt my stomach flip and the bile start to rise in my throat. "I know it does, and it will soon, because we're going to be together, I promise. It's just going to take a little more time."

She went to take a step towards me, and I instinctively took a step back. "This isn't right," I warned her.

"I know it isn't," she started, but something she noticed over my shoulder seemed to distract her. "But it won't be long now, I promise."

Without warning she took off running, and when I turned around to see what it was that had caught her attention, I realised why. Tom was about twenty feet away, Levi with him. The latter was now sprinting in the direction Natasha had disappeared. The former was walking over to me, my relief to have him present hitting me like a tidal wave.

"How did you know where to find me?" I asked when he finally reached my side.

He held out his phone to show a map with two blue dots. "I enabled location sharing on your iPhone when you gave me your mobile that first night. As long as you have it with you, I can find you." He put his hand into mine, and something in me settled in an instant from the contact. "What did she say?"

I furrowed my brow as I repeated the one thing that just hadn't made sense to me. "She said I'd written to her. More specifically that I had stopped writing to her. I've never written to her in my life. I just don't understand what the hell she was talking about."

Tom squeezed my hand. "We will figure it out, I promise." He must have noticed Levi before I did because his hand slipped from mine.

"She just fucking disappeared. There's just too many different directions that she could take off in, and she's a slippery little shit."

Tom shook his head. "Very professional Levi, as always."

I bit back a laugh and instead it came out as a snort.

"Come on, runaway, let's get you back to the hotel. Unless you want us to do something else, boss?"

Tom shook his head. "She'll be long gone. But we might need to think seriously about the number of men we have as extras from here on out. I don't like the ramifications of this at all." Tom turned to me. "If you start to overthink what just happened, and you need to stop and breathe, just let me know and we will sort it for you, okay?"

Knowing exactly what Tom meant, I nodded, hoping it wouldn't happen, but understanding that because it was me, it probably would.

When we got backto the hotel the guilt was killing me. I was making Tom's job harder, and why? Because I was being a silly little brat and letting my emotions put me in danger. Just as Tom had mentioned, I did indeed start to think things over. I thought about the fact that to know that I was in that park at that moment in that exact spot; that had been no coincidence. She had been waiting for me. Following me. Hoping I would give her the opportunity to approach me. And me being the complete idiot that I am had offered it to her on a plate.

"Hey," Tom scolded. "Stop that thought, I can see your mind working."

It warmed me that he could read me so well already to know where my mind was heading, but it didn't stop the thoughts that were churning around in my brain.

I could have walked right into a trap with her. She could have had a weapon. She could have had acid. She could have done literally anything to me, and because of my stupidity and sulking over hurt feelings.

"I'm sorry about today," I admitted, trying to work my way through how I was thinking and feeling about it all. "I shouldn't have gone out like a pouting teenager and made your job harder. This tour has given me a lot to think about, and a lot of tension."

"Don't apologise. Honestly. And for what it's worth, if my stupid off the cuff comment about it all being part of the service last night added to all of that, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to imply that anything that happened with us yesterday wasn't something out of the ordinary and actually, pretty damn special."

I felt that increasingly familiar warmth flood through me. It was happening more and more around Tom and if I wasn't careful, I was going to get addicted to him quickly.

"When I realised that no one could find you, my stomach sank and I was worried. I don't usually get that worried about my clients."

"Even if they go missing?" I asked, a little taken aback by his admission.

He nodded. "Yes, because that doesn't help me keep a clear and calm head to be able to get them back in one piece."

I grimaced a little at the thought of him being so disconnected and a little bit cold, but even more so when I thought about making him worry about me. God, I could be such an idiot. Something flickered over his face, and he leaned over. Before I realised what he was doing his lips were on mine.

Electricity flowed through every part of my body, prickling on my mouth and radiating out from there. His hand cupped my face. His tongue slipped along my lips and teased them apart. The feeling of his tongue on mine set my body on high alert. The prickling of electricity threatened to turn into a raging fire that would engulf us both.

He parted his lips from mine, his forehead resting against me. "Don't you ever apologise for being who you are. You are pretty fucking special, Lennox Love."