Chapter 6

Quin Playlist: Beyond – Leon Bridges

It’s been two days since Lista and I were reintroduced. It started on a rather dull note, but after having a proper conversation over the nicest hot chocolate I’ve tasted, we managed to find common ground and get through the misunderstanding. She’s attended both of my seminars over the last two days, and I’ve had to stop myself from being distracted by her presence. I’ve not spoken to her one to one, but I want to more than anything. I need to somehow distract myself from these thoughts. I’m a professor for fuck’s sake. I need to reel it in and sort my shit out. It’s different with Lista. We met before realising about our positions, but I still can’t lose my cool in front of other staff and students. Or else I’ll be back to square one and could risk my entire career here at the university. I’ve worked too hard to get to where I am. And I’d imagine she has too.

When classes finish for lunch, I head over to the campus coffee shop to get a top up of coffee and a bite to eat. Out of nowhere an enthusiastic voice startles me. “Quin, how are you doing?” Oli says.

“Yep, not too bad thanks. You?” I say, probably a little too robotic sounding.

“I’m good. I was wondering if you fancied coming over to my mates for a game night tonight. You look like you need it. Maybe release some of that moody energy you’re giving out and put it to good use” he says, with a low laugh.

I think it through. Who would want to invite me to a game night. Other than Edward, anyway. I’ve known Oli now for just under a month. He’s a final year PhD student and part time lecturer, so we’ve been working together closely on seminars. He’s been shadowing me during my lectures as well as having me as his advisor on his teaching skills. He’s a great guy. We clicked instantly. Well, once we got over him telling me how handsome and ‘ do-able ’ I was. He made sure I knew that if I like dudes, to keep him in mind. Somehow I feel like it eased the tension and made us get along better and quicker. Now he’s someone I genuinely look forward to seeing every day. This might actually be a good thing for me. Being around like-minded people, doing something other than working. I don’t go out often, as my friends live in different cities, other than Edward. We do the odd catch up, holiday and game night, but other than that my social life is pretty uneventful, so I decide to go for it.

“You know what, yeah, I’ll be there. Text me the time and location”.

He pats me on the back. “Glad to hear it. I’ve told my mates all about you and your handsome face. I’ve even got a single friend” he says, winking, and then continues. “I’ll text you later”. He walks away, jolly as ever, whilst I’m here questioning why I agreed to go out, when I could just be home with my cat and avoid the pressures of socialising.

I’m not sure why the social gods have decided I need human interaction outside of lectures today, but after lunch professor Peters comes into my office to ask me about my advisor role.

“Quin, could you take on one more student on an advisory basis please. Do you have room in your schedule?”.

“Sure, I’m happy to help. Who do you need me to work with and what on? If you can pass on their contact details, I’ll reach out and plan a schedule with them”, I say before even taking time to consider much. Still half mentally spiralling about Olivers invitation.

“Well, you already have their contact details. It’s Callista Harper, PhD mechanical engineering student. She needs an advisor for her research and work on biomechanical engineering. Your work will require regular meetings advising her and ensuring her research project is at the level it should be. Please contact Miss Harper when convenient. And Quin, thank you for this. I know you’re already taking on a lot”. It’s nice for someone to recognise the work I put in for once.

I nod, dismissing Professor Peters from my office, wishing I’d have known who the student was prior to agreeing to it.

Well, this is going to be interesting.

I clock out and head out of the campus building, into the car park. I’m actually looking forward to doing something different for once now that the initial panic has subsided. Game night sounds good. A way to release some tension, occupy my mind, and think about something other than work… and a certain someone. It’s Friday too, so I’m thankful I don’t have to be on campus for the next two days. I’m getting sick of advances being made by some of the first-year undergrads. I say first years, but the older students seem to be doing the same too, despite them knowing better. I’m apparently grumpy, strict, expect too much and yet I’m apparently…hot. Which is exactly what almost got me into trouble last time. I’m not here to be looked at. I’m a tutor to be listened to. I’m here to teach and better the knowledge and practise of students.

The world needs professional, knowledgeable, respectful professionals and I’m here to make that happen. It’s just fucking difficult when my age and appearance seem to be playing against me. I never thought I’d dislike being in my early thirties, or being described as hot, but this whole situation has given me good enough reason to be pissed. I’m pulled out of my thoughts by Lista. She’s in the car park at the passenger side of her car putting her bag and coat inside. She has black dungarees on, with a cream-coloured top underneath, accompanied by black doc martens. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun with tendrils of dark hair falling around her neck and ears. I feel bad for looking, but I can’t help appreciating her. That’s when I notice Pierce; A tutor from my department approaching her car behind her. My body’s defence mechanisms arise from nowhere suddenly. I decide against calling out Lista’s name and head over to my car. My eyes never leaving her.

Pierce startles her and she looks visibly shaken. Her hand shooting to her chest. She seems to relax slightly when she turns around. She must know him. My nerves start to dissipate but I still feel on edge for some reason. I get into my car and sit for a moment, organising my things into the passenger seat at a leisurely pace so

I can make sure Lista leaves safely. I’m no psychologist, but Lista looks reserved based on her body language. Pierce seems to be closer than she’d like, and she shakes her head a lot in response to what he’s saying. I would be less concerned if this was the first time I’ve seen a woman in Pierces presence who appeared uncomfortable. But it’s not. I have in fact witnessed Pierce seemingly causing women to feel confined and irritated on a number of occasions. She eventually walks away, around to the driver’s side of her car. Pierce follows her and holds his hands out from his sides as if asking “why” to her. I kind of wish I knew how to read lips at this moment in time. It would help give this situation context. She shakes her head, gets into her car and shuts the door before Pierce walks off. When she drives away, I feel relief that she’s away from him. There’s just something off and I can’t shake that feeling. But I’m pulled out of it by a text notification from my phone.

Oli: Game night tonight at 6.30pm. I’ll pick you up at 6.10pm from yours.

Quin: Cheers. See you later.

I get home, take a long shower and decide to make myself look slightly more presentable for a game night with friends and less like a university professor heading to a professional conference. I choose my baseball style T-shirt and roll up the sleeves. I ruffle my hair slightly, choose a pair of smart casual jeans and pair them with my checked black and white classic slip-on vans. I wear my usual coat. It actually reminds me of Lista, since I was wearing it the night we met. I feel more… me with these types of clothes on, but sadly it’s not often I find the casual opportunities to dress down for. I pour myself a whiskey and coke, pack my drinks for this evening, feed my feline friend Edison his well overpriced cat food and sit watching game play throughs to make the time pass by and to help ground my busy mind.

Watching YouTube game playthroughs is a regular thing for me. It serves as a distraction, background noise and a form of entertainment for me during evenings after work or weekends in alone, with the exception of my cat for company.

Working in a serious environment and having to keep up my hard exterior to avoid any further issues can be draining, so it’s nice to come home and watch something light and funny. It’s good to let go, relax and laugh a little.

Oli: I’m outside.

That’s my cue to stop cuddling Edison and actually leave the house to socialise with humans. Not cats. We drive for about fifteen minutes before reaching Oli’s friend’s house. I’m hoping that I’m not being kidnapped and held for ransom by random strangers. I don’t know Oli that well, so who knows what’s about to happen. I may have been watching too many horror game playthroughs considering this is my train of thought. Under the ruse of a game night could be all sorts of horrors. I suppose I’m about to find out.

I walk into a nice home. It’s fresh but warming and the sound of laughter coming from further inside is inviting. The kidnapping probability has lowered in my mind substantially. Although when thinking logically, it was fairly low in the first place. We walk through to the living room where there are five men, and a woman sat on the sofas and floor around a low coffee table. They all look up and greet me and Oli. The four men look familiar, but I’m too overstimulated to think of where I know them from, plus I merely glanced and then studied something imaginary at my feet. You know when you feel awkward in a new situation and have no idea where to look or what to do. Yeah . That. I notice Pierce, from earlier in the car park sitting with them. He turns his head towards me and lifts his beer, greeting me. I smile politely but internally my guard is up.

“Head into the kitchen through there”. Oli says, pointing toward the door down the hall through the living room. “Deposit one’s tipples, good sir. Oh and I think my single friend is in there” he says with a joking smile and a raised eyebrow. He is a great guy. I regret the thoughts of him luring me to my possible kidnapping and demise. I take a sigh of relief when I head down the hallway and through the kitchen door. I can use this time to adjust and breathe before socialising with everyone, although I’m really not in the mood for chatting with someone just because they’re ‘single’. I’m happy just relaxing with friends. I brace myself for walking into the kitchen, nervous for socialising with a random person without Oli here. My mind is still a little cloudy from the last week of work and everything that’s happened, so I’m a little tense and quite frankly not in the mood for getting to know someone new on a possible romantic level. My relief however returns when I walk into the open, bright, airy kitchen. It’s Lista. Oli’s single friend is Lista. She’s standing with her back to me, checking her phone.

Her hair is down, loose long curls flowing against her back. Dark, silky and smooth, with auburn streaks shimmering in the light. I had no idea it was this long. She has a long-sleeved black top on with a skater skirt draping from her waist and stopping above her knees. Her black brogues make a change to the rustic doc martens she’s usually wearing, and I’m astonished at her leg. She has her bare legs exposed without tights or trousers, and I can finally see her prosthetic in its full glory.

It’s the shape of a natural leg and is fitted below the knee. It’s slightly darker than her skin and has the most incredible monochrome floral tattoo like pattern on the calf. It’s almost like her shoe is the vase and her leg has bloomed with a beautiful bouquet surrounding it. I feel honoured to finally see her for her, without her leg concealed by clothes. She looks beautiful. Sexy, even. She’s truly astonishing.

“Oh Quin. Hi!” she says as she spins around. “Sorry, I was in my own little world. Trying to self-regulate a little”.

“Lista, it’s… good to see you”.

“Likewise. I didn’t expect to see you here” she says.

Damn, I hope my presence isn’t that bad. She must realise I was taken aback slightly. “Shit, sorry Quin, I didn’t mean it negatively. It’s just such a surprise to see you. Sorry, my social battery is running low already” she says with a laugh under her breath.

“No offence taken. I just didn’t want my presence to make you feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to invade your personal time or space after everything that’s happened”.

“Oh my gosh, no, of course not. It’s lovely to see you. Not lovely… in a weird way. Nice. It’s great… that you’re here”. She puts her head in her hands and laughs. “Sorry! I’m just… yeah. Let me start again. Hi Quin, it’s a pleasant surprise to see you here”.

We both laugh as she reaches her hand out to me. I take it and we shake, mimicking a new introduction. She’s funny. I’m so glad she’s here tonight. My nervous tension has dissipated and shifted into a new kind.

“It's a pleasant surprise to see you here too Lista. I didn’t know anyone other than Oli and Pierce”. She tenses up when I say Pierces name. I knew something was up earlier in the car park.

“Well, you know me”. She says with a reassuring smile. “And you kind of saw Drew, Pip, Si and Reed at the New Year’s Eve Quiz, so technically you have many friends here. I mean, not that I’m assuming you class us as friends. I just wanted to make you feel comfortable. Shit, sorry I need to stop talk–”. I put my hand against the side of her arm to stop her spiralling thoughts. Meanwhile realising where I recognised the four men in the living room from. “Lista, relax. You are my friend. I might be a tutor but I’m also human. I met you personally prior to meeting you professionally. I’m happy to see the guys that way too. If they’ll have me”. She looks towards my hand as I lightly grip her arm. “Thanks Quin. I’m glad you’re here”.

The door to the kitchen opens and we step back from one another as if we’ve been caught doing something wrong. It’s Drew. “You ok in here guys? Quin, nice to see you my man. Really pleased you could make it” he says enthusiastically. He seems so genuine. It’s nice. “There are drinks in the fridge and cupboard, so just ask if you run out of your own and you can have some of mine. Oh, and Lista explained what happened to you and Edward. I hope you guys are ok man. It’s a pleasant surprise to find out you work at the university. What are the odds of that?!” he says. I agree. What are the odds. I’d be quite interested to find out.

“Thanks Drew. That means a lot. Thanks for having me. I’ve only recently started full time, but it’s nice to know you guys are part of the team” I say. He lightly wraps his arm around Lista, and I wish I was the one doing that right now. He looks down at her and speaks softly. A little quieter than he was just. His demeanour has almost changed, just within mere seconds, from greeting to me, to now speaking to Lista. He seems almost mildly anxious. Again, not a psychologist. I could be wrong. Just an observation. “You ok, you’ve been in here a while. We’re ready to get games going so just come in whenever feels ok for you” he says. I wonder if they’ve got history.

Or if Lista isn’t as single as Oli thinks.

“Drew, stop worrying about me. I’m fine. I just needed a breather before we start the games. Quin and I will be in soon. Now go back in there and sort the guys out” she says to him with a playful pinch to his arm. He smiles and leaves the kitchen.

“So, do you need a glass for your drink Quin?” she says as she slides down a glass for me anyway, not waiting for my response.

“Thank you M’lady” I reply. She laughs.

“You’re welcome kind sir” she says, tipping her imaginary hat.

“Would you like a top up of your tipple?” I ask her.

“I think I need it” she says, sighing as though she’s exhausted. I notice she has a prosecco glass, so I open the fridge and see a bottle. I lift it to her. She nods intensely.

“Thank you, Quin. You’re a true gentleman. Unlike some ” she says under her breath as she walks slowly out of the kitchen.

We’re in the living room, halfway through the first game of blackjack. Lista has formally introduced me to those in the room that I’ve not met properly. Flic, whose full name is Felicity (I’ve been forbidden from ever calling her by her full name) happens to be one of Lista’s friend group that she bizarrely keeps referring to as Five Mountains . She hasn’t told me the story behind the name, and I haven’t thought too much into it either. It’s quite catchy to be honest. She says that instead of listing everyone’s name, she finds it easier to just refer to that set of people as the group name, so there you have it. I can’t argue with that logic. She briefly told me that there’s clearly something more than just friendship going on between Drew and Flic, but neither have openly acknowledged it yet. Why am I so relieved to know Drew and Lista aren’t together? Well, to know Lista isn’t with any of these great guys, to be honest. Oli was pleased when we walked into the living room and Lista introduced me to people. “As if you know Lista already Quin!” he says enthusiastically. “She’s gorgeous isn’t she?” he asks and offers Lista a wink as she flips him off openly. I fight the urge to answer him. Gorgeous doesn’t quite capture how stunning she is.

Lista’s other friends are awesome, and they seem to want to protect her, which I’m fully in support of. Oli happens to be one of Lista’s group. He just couldn’t make it to the New Year’s Eve getaway apparently. And Flic was on call so had to stay home.

I already know Pierce. Lista made it clear that he is not part of their five mountains group and is just a friend they’ve known for years from the university. His character is...questionable. He works at the University as a guest lecturer, like I was before going full-time. There’s just something about him. He’s sly and less genuine than the others here. I’m unsure of where he fits into things with them. Then again, maybe I’m the same. Just an odd one out.

I’m glad I have my drink in my hand because if I didn’t, I’d be close to dragging Pierce out by the collar of his shirt. Lista has clearly tried to remove herself from him multiple times tonight, and he won’t take the hint. He’s brushed himself against her, sat directly behind her on the chair, closing his legs around her. And each time, she’s moved away. Don’t some guys get the fucking hint? I’d like to personally make sure he gets it next time he tries something funny. No one else seems to react to her discomfort. If anything, it seems like it’s all one big joke that everyone is accepting, but I can see Lista isn’t happy and it’s twisting my fucking insides. Maybe I’m just looking too deep into it as an outsider. All I know for certain is that I want to leap across the table and wipe the smug look off Pierce’s face. This time, after Pierce has pissed her off one too many times, Lista leaves the room and goes to the bathroom, announcing her bathroom break rather harshly and exasperated. I take my phone out and text her.

Quin: Sit with me if you need to.

Nothing more. Nothing less. I don’t want her to think I’m getting involved. But I’m here for her. And the thought of her suffering in silence whilst surrounded by people makes me agitated. It’d be the same if I thought anyone was being made to feel uncomfortable by another person. Man or woman. Adult or child. Little or big. Everyone deserves someone in their corner. A few minutes later she walks back into the living room. I expect she hasn’t seen my message. That is until she walks in front of where I’m sat on the couch and sits on the floor, just in front of the gap between my legs. She knows. She read the text. I’m fucking stoked that she feels safe with me. I see Pierce gaze over at us. He huffs, shakes his head and knocks his beer back. Jealous prick. The night continues. We play cards against humanity and then move onto rounds of Mario Kart on the Nintendo switch. Flic and Lista come first and second.

They absolutely whipped our arses and it’s so nice to see Lista’s face change during her wins. Oli was right, I needed this, especially when I get to gaze at the most insanely gorgeous girl between my legs. She doesn’t move for most of the night, other than to hide her cards from me during the game. She playfully nudges my legs when I insult her choice of cards or when I get competitive on Mario Kart. I even fill up her drink for her each time I head into the kitchen. It feels good, and knowing she’s safe, away from Pierce helps.

I have to remind my body to chill the fuck out on numerous occasions, because having her so close to me makes me feel things I shouldn’t. My dick twitches at the thought of her touching my thighs or leaning her head back into my lap and looking up at me. I have to refocus my mind onto less appealing things in order to calm the bulge within my jeans. Looking over at Pierce being an arsehole does the job. Pierce clearly riles up Lista a few times throughout the night. Her phone goes off whilst she sits near me, and although not meaning to, I see the name Pierce. I don’t look past the name, because it’s none of my business, but I can see her tense up each time. The way he looks at her is scary. It’s a possessive glare that seems unhealthy. It makes me wonder if Pierce and Lista ever had something between them. Inside I’m hoping that’s not true. I’d like to think she has higher standards than some dickhead like him. It's 12am when most of us decide to head home. Oli is staying on Drew’s sofa, and Flic sticks around too. Pierce decides that the night is still young, and his beers are still flowing, so he stays for longer. Perhaps he’s drowning his sorrows for not getting his own way. What a shame. Pip, Si, Reed, Lista and I all head outside to wait for our rides home. Pip and Reed share one, since they’re house mates, which I can imagine is a bunch of fun ( They’re both wild ), and Si leaves on his own. He seems like a lone wolf to be honest, so it doesn’t surprise me that he departs solo in a cab.

Lista and I get another since we live close to each other; Something I discovered during our catchup at Cosy Corner Coffee the other day. Our taxi takes a while to arrive, so we see the guys off safely and wait near the fence under the streetlight until ours arrives. Although we could’ve waited inside, I think we both wanted to be in the fresh air and away from Pierce. Lista uses our time to rant about Si, which makes me laugh. He’s apparently infuriating, and from what I’ve witnessed, I can see how he riles up Lista, but it’s almost a sibling type relationship with how they bicker. It’s weirdly endearing. And seeing them together doesn’t make me jealous. Not that I have any right to be, but it’s hard to separate that protective side when I’m around Lista. She’s captured my mind from day one. That’s why I’m so relieved that their relationship is clearly platonic. I can see her admiration despite the ranting. She talks highly of him and the work he does in chemistry too. She then moves on to discuss the others and explains how they all know one another from university, despite the age gap. She goes into brief detail about Drew, Pip, Si, Flic and Oli and how they created Five mountains in school before Lista and Pip were ‘ recruited ’ when they all met at the university that has strangely now, brought us together too. It’s nice to be let into her world. The guys are awesome, and I can see why they click so well. When she’s finished passionately discussing how annoying, yet awesome she finds them all, that’s when I remember I’d forgotten to email Lista earlier about my advisory role for her research. It really doesn’t seem appropriate now I’ve spent an evening with her sat almost between my legs. She must notice me lost in thought. “What’s up Quin?” she asks gently.

“Lista, I know this is shitty timing. I completely forgot to email you about it when I got home, but Professor Peter’s came into the office today. He asked me to be your advisor for your research. He wants me to work with you and guide you through it. If you’d rather not, I can email him first thing when I’m home”. She doesn’t react at all. She just takes it in and replies thoughtfully.

“I’m more than happy to have you as my advisor. If you’re comfortable with it too. If you just let me know what is and isn’t ok for you. I know going to a game night and there happening to be a student there isn’t great… plus our previous meeting too. I get it if you can’t be around me outside of work” she says looking down at her feet. Although I shouldn’t, I can’t help myself. I move closer towards her, feeling the heat of our bodies warm the space that falls between us, a stark contrast to the crisp bite of the winter air. I tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear and move my finger down her jaw, lifting her chin and making her gaze move up to me. We’re face to face, and I wish I could do so much more than just talk to her right now. Her lips, soft as she licks them and then squeezes them together to shield them from the cold. I want to press mine to hers and keep her warm.

“Lista, It’s absolutely fine. Like I’ve said, we knew one another personally prior to professionally. We aren’t doing anything wrong and I’m more than happy to work with you”. I say reassuringly, meanwhile thinking of how the hell I’m going to get through this when all I want to do is crush my body against hers and hear her panting my name. Personally. Definitely not professionally.