Chapter 12

Quin Playlist: Still – Noah Kahan

I’m flustered after this morning. In a good way, but also with the onset of nerves. Getting caught doing that could end badly, despite how fucking good it felt. I don’t want to be that lecturer. And I’m not. I met Lista before I even knew she was a student. The age gap is small, and we’re both mature adults. It’s not like I’m preying on an eighteen-year-old. And let’s face it, you can’t help who you’re connected to. I just wish it was as easy as it should be to be with Lista without potential issues arising. It would be devastating after everything I’ve been through to get to this point in my career. I don’t want to take fifty steps back, again . And I’d hate for it to impact Lista’s career and studies too. I mentally pack my thoughts away, refocusing them on my work for the rest of the day. I set up my laptop and lecture pieces in my lecture room. Shortly after, Pierce walks in. The air immediately feels heavier. The energy in the room shifts, and I feel weirdly on edge. He walks everywhere with this cocky kind of confidence. Not the kind of confidence you should embody though.

The kind that exudes threat. The kind that’s used to belittle others and make them feel less than you are. It’s intimidating, even to someone of my stature. And I quite easily meet his height and bulkiness. He’s a demeaning bastard and the way he talks to people and looks at people pisses me off. I internally ground myself, giving him the benefit of the doubt. After all, he’s merely walked through the door.

“Hey Quin. How’s it going?” he says. How lovely of him.

I acknowledge him as I would any other person. “Afternoon. Not bad. I’ve just been setting up everything ready for lectures today. Everything ok?”.

He walks over to the desk, setting his bag down and appears tense. The original facade fading. “I didn’t catch you much at the faculty social. You were there one minute and gone the next” Pierce says to me. He has something on his mind and he’s clearly going to make it known.

“Yeah, I left fairly early” I say. Giving a minimal response.

“I saw you with Lista, and then you left when Drew and the guys showed up. Did something happen between you guys?” he asks. Aha. And There it is.

“Oh, no. Lista had a panic attack. Something seemed to have triggered her, and I found her outside in a state. I knew she needed Drew. Once he and the others got to her and she relaxed more, I left and headed home. I didn’t want to intrude whilst she was overwhelmed”.

“Right ok… I didn’t know. No one mentioned it to me” he says. Yeah, I fucking wonder why.

“All I know is that she needed Drew, so I called him. He turned up with the guys. Lista is fine now anyway, which is what matters”. Not that you care...

“What happened to your hand Quin?”. Jeez, is this twenty questions or something? What’s with the inquisition?

“I got cut” I say, offering the simple fact.

“Yeah, no shit. How did it happen?”. I didn’t realise he cared about my wellbeing so much… I think sarcastically.

“I was helping Lista build some furniture, and the hammer slipped and smashed the glass that I was holding. It cut my hand. It’s fine though”.

A few minutes pass as I continue setting up for the day, despite Pierce glaring at me. He is thinking so intensely, that I feel like I can hear him. And I’m waiting for whatever he’s got to verbally throw at me. I can feel it. It’s like the tension he’s holding onto is emitting from his brain and into the room.

“So why were you at Lista’s?” he comes out with. I knew it. I had a feeling he was sniffing around for info.

“Not that I need to explain to you, but we had our study session at hers as she was waiting in for a parcel. I’m not sure why I feel like I’m being interrogated here Pierce” I say bluntly. Feeling the need to stand up for myself.

“Hmph. Studying” he says sarcastically.

I’m suddenly extremely on edge around him. He walks towards me, closing the comfortable space between us, crowding my every senses. I’m not easily intimidated, but this fucking guy. There’s just something about him. The way he invades personal space, just like that day at Drews with Lista. I make the conscious effort to move backwards, despite there being limited space.

“Listen Quin. I’ve known Lista for a while longer than you and I know what she needs. I see the way you are with her. Following her and appearing at her rescue when she’s struggling. I see your little schemes ”. The fucking nerve on this man. He continues, although his words are not welcome. “Becoming her advisor suddenly. Spending more time with her and now you’re having your study dates ” he says condescendingly, using his fingers as quotation marks. He’s such a condescending piece of shit. I have no idea how he got a job working in education. He still has the nerve to continue, adding a threat this time.

“Getting a student into bed probably isn’t going to look so good for you should it get out ” he says with a mischievous smile. “And me and Lista have something between us. Everyone knows it, and you of all people aren’t going to get in the way. So, stay clear of her, otherwise I’ll be making sure the faculty staff know your little fucking games with students. And for good measure I could also mention you being a little too involved in her research. You know, I guess she’ll find it easier by sleeping her way through academia. I’m sure Professor Peters would be interested in that” he says, finishing his speech off with a rough poke to my shoulder, before promptly walking out of the room. I’m speechless.

I didn’t get a chance to defend myself against Pierce this morning, and since then I’ve had back-to-back lectures with little room for conversation. He’s been in and out of my lecture theatre throughout the day. It’s almost as if he’s keeping a check on me. What he said made no sense. He’s fucking sadistic. I knew he was after Lista. I saw it that day in the car park, and at Drew and Oli’s game night too. What difference would it make, her being with him? He’s a member of staff too. These thoughts spiral dangerously in my mind and I’m a mess.

I keep slipping up whilst presenting, and things get even worse when Lista joins my afternoon session. She walks in glowing, as gorgeous as ever. Notebook in hand and a smile plastered on her face as she looks over at me. In that moment, I realise how important her career is to her. I remember the conversation she had with the students at the faculty social. She was so devastated about the comments made by the prospective students about her relationships with members of staff. She works so hard in this male dominated industry and the last thing she needs is people assuming she is only where she is because of the men in her life. I smile slightly back at her, although it’s pained.

I thought things would be ok after this morning, wrapped around Lista, but now I’m not so sure.