Chapter 3

"IS THEREa place where we can sit down?" Darby asked. He needed to get out of the center of this floor. He desperately wanted something to drink and to know what Reynaldo meant.

Reynaldo guided him to a table, and as soon as the Formica slid under his hand, Darby found a chair and sat.

"What do you want to drink?"

"A beer, please," he said, and Reynaldo disappeared into the sounds that swirled and thumped all around him. There was nothing to concentrate on; the beat was too intense and too loud. He tried listening for people around him, but it all melded into a mass of sound and overlapping voices.

"Are you here alone?" a tenor voice asked from nearby. "I'm Harry. What's your name and why are you here all alone?" He seemed to think he was clever. The chair across the table slid out, and Darby sighed as Harry sat down. "I've never seen you here before."

"Is that the modern version of ‘Do you come here often?'" Darby asked.

Harry laughed. "You're really cute. Did you come alone, I hope?" The guy seemed clueless, but Darby wasn't threatened or anything.

"No. I came with a date who is getting me a beer." Darby unfolded his cane and set it on the table. He could almost hear Harry gasp and figured the dude's eyes were bugging out of his head.

"You can't see?" he asked. "Umm… sorry. I didn't know." Now the fumbling began, and talkative Harry became really quiet, which was usual. Once people found out he was blind, they either went really quiet or began to babble. Fortunately this guy was the former. It meant he wasn't going to stay long. "I'll see you around." The chair scraped, and at least Darby didn't have to worry about being hit on any further.

"Here you are," Reynaldo said. "The beer is right in front of you, with the handle on your right." He sat across from him as Darby took a drink. The stuff was cheap, but it was at least wet.

"So, do you want to explain what you meant?" Darby asked. "Do you have an issue with how you look or something?"

Reynaldo chuckled. "Nope. Nothing like that. I'm just ordinary-looking. I have brown eyes, and I broke my nose when I was eight, so it's a little crooked. My face is kind of round, and my mama used to tell me I looked like an elf. My hair does what it wants no matter how I cut it or how much product I use in it. I try to dress nicely, though."

"And you think that I'd care about any of that?" Darby asked. "It's one of the blessings of being blind, or at least of dating someone who is. I can't see you, remember? So I have this picture of you in my mind, and it revolves around your voice and the way you touch my hand when you think I need reassurance. The way you guide me without being heavy-handed about it."

"Oh, so I should have told you that I look like a Latin Brad Pitt and you wouldn't have known the difference. Geez, I really missed my opportunity there." The mirth in Reynaldo's voice was reassuring.

"Can I ask why you think you're not good enough? Why would you worry about how you look?" That sort of thing rarely entered Darby's mind. "Was someone mean to you?"

"Nothing like that. I wasn't bullied or anything, at least no more than anyone else. It's just that…. I don't know. I look at you and you're…." He sighed while Darby took another drink of his beer. "Hasn't anyone ever told you that you're hot… like, super hot?"

"No. Not that it matters, but the last time I was able to look at myself in a mirror, I was about eleven years old, and I looked like… I don't know… like a kid. That's the last image of myself that I have, so it's the one that remains in my head, I guess."

He felt Reynaldo leaning over the table. "Well, you are super hot. Which is why that guy came over here to talk to you, and why everyone was watching you dance. You move like you have seduction in mind, and believe me, half the guys in this room would line up if you crooked your little finger in their direction."

"I get it." Darby gently set his glass on the table. "So if I were to do this…." He motioned toward Reynaldo with his finger. "What exactly would happen? Would you throw me over your shoulder like a caveman and carry me out of the club?"

"Somehow I doubt the bouncers would let that happen," Reynaldo said through deep, rich chuckles.

"Then tell me. What can I expect? If I have so much power in one finger, I need to make sure I don't abuse it." He was having fun with this line of questioning. "So, Reynaldo, I'm crooking my finger in your direction… what are you going to do?"

The chair across from him scraped, and within a few seconds, he felt Reynaldo standing next to him. Darby turned to where he thought he was.

"This," Reynaldo said before running his hand along Darby's cheek and then kissing him.

What started as gentle and sweet deepened quickly until Darby's head spun. When Reynaldo backed away, Darby held completely still, having lost his position in space. He felt untethered for a few seconds until his mind began working again. The music, the table, the club—it all came back to him. But that floating feeling had been amazing and unsettling at the same time.

"Was that okay? Am I a terrible kisser or something? You're sitting there like you can't decide if you want to run or not," Reynaldo said quietly after a touch of hesitation.

"No. It was amazing, and…." He patted the table to find his glass. "You kind of short-circuited me."

"Oh. Okay. I think I like that."

"You would. But I'm trying to reorient myself." Darby drank some of his beer and set down the glass. He assumed Reynaldo had done the same, because he took his hand.

"Come on. Let's dance. That's what we're here for, and you look amazing doing it." He guided Darby to the floor, and they began moving. This time he stayed closer to Reynaldo, moving with him as he slipped his arms around him.

Someone moved up behind him, and Reynaldo growled. Darby felt him shake his head, and the person behind him moved away. Darby knew they were surrounded by people, and yet to him it seemed like they were all alone. He liked that. When the music slowed, he rested his head against Reynaldo's chest and felt himself in Reynaldo's arms. It was great to be held and to know that he was watched over. It let Darby concentrate on Reynaldo and not worry about the people around them.

"You smell good," Darby said, not sure if Reynaldo could hear him. The mixture of soap, a little sweat, and deep male richness was intoxicating, and Darby let all that wash right over him.

The music changed again, picking up tempo. Darby went with it, holding Reynaldo's hands and just letting the beat flow through him. Damn, this was fun. But then people began to bump him. He tried to shift around the dance floor, but it became clear that he was hemmed in. Holding more tightly to Reynaldo, he began moving away. Reynaldo continued holding him, people jarring Darby. Darby stopped moving and lost hold of Reynaldo.

At that moment, he was had no idea where he was in the club. Guys knocked into him. Someone took his hips and began moving against him. Darby backed away and hit someone else, his anxiety rising by the second.

"I've got you," Reynaldo told him, holding him tightly. "It's okay. I'm right here. We're going to move to your right. We're almost at the table." The crush of people lessened. "I'm sorry, but this is our table," Reynaldo said firmly.

"You weren't sitting here." The guy who must have taken over their table sounded like a real jerk, with a high voice and plenty of attitude.

Reynaldo scoffed. "His cane is right there."

"It's okay. We can go now." Now that they were at the table, Darby reached for his cane. A glass tipped over, and a man to his right jumped up. "Sorry." He tapped the cane to the floor. "I'm ready to go." Darby took Reynaldo's arm and used his cane to help clear a path as he and Reynaldo made their way to the door.

"Is there something wrong?" a man asked gruffly.

"No. It just got a little too busy for me." Darby tried not to make a big deal about their leaving. "And apparently there's a lot of competition for tables."

"I saw that," the man said, and Reynaldo tightened his hold on him, like the guy was a threat.

"Bull, stop," a lighter voice said. This man was shorter than the other one. "Sometimes he doesn't know when to tone down his badass self. I saw what happened. Those guys were being rude, and they deserved whatever they got."

"I see." Bull's tone lightened. "Just a second." Darby felt Bull's heavy footsteps as he left and returned. "Here are a couple of passes for you both to come back another night as my guests. I hope you both have a good evening, and I'm sorry for anything that happened."

Reynaldo guided Darby out and down the sidewalk. "Do you know who that was? Bull is the owner of the club, and rumor has it that he was, like, a secret agent or something." Reynaldo sounded excited.

"I have to ask. Did the guy I spilled the beer on look like we'd wet himself?"

Reynaldo laughed. "Yeah. Right in the lap."

"Good. He deserved it, though it was a waste of beer if you ask me."

A gasp, followed by Reynaldo stopping. "You did that on purpose?" His chuckles grew more intense. "Damn, that was good, and there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it. And you knew exactly what you were doing."

"Of course I did. I may be blind, but that doesn't mean I don't know what's going on around me. That guy was an ass, and I knew exactly where I'd left my glass and my cane. All it took was a quick knock and he got a wet lap and soggy pants. Payback for being a real jackass."

"Okay. I'll go ahead and take you home," Reynaldo said. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

Darby stopped and took Reynaldo's hands. "I was a lovely idea, and I had fun dancing and going out. Evenings like this always take a lot of effort, and I appreciate it." He pulled Reynaldo closer, feeling his breath just before landing his kiss. "It was a wonderful night, and you made it amazing. I refuse to let rudeness ruin our evening." He held Reynaldo's arm a little tighter.

"WHERE DOyou want to go? I have some drinks at the house, if you like," Darby offered, trying to remember what was in the refrigerator.

"I think I should get home to check on Daisy. She's been alone for quite a while. I was only able to let her out for a short time after work, and she really should have some more time outside."

"I understand. Of course," he agreed. Considering how all this came about. "You can bring her to my house. Rex is really good with other dogs, and it's been a while since he had a friend to play with."

"Are you sure? Daisy can be a little energetic sometimes."

"We can sit out back. I have a patio out there with chairs that I don't use often enough. The previous owners built quite an outdoor entertainment space. I have a yard service that maintains the property for me, so I should get some use out of it."

"If you're sure…."

"Of course." Darby sat back while Reynaldo drove. He really was excited to meet Daisy and find out if she and Rex got along. He knew that Rex would behave himself because that was the kind of dog he was. Rex had had years of training, but it would also be good for him to have a doggie friend and to be able to spend some time playing when he wasn't working. "The backyard is fenced, and there's plenty of grass for the dogs to run around on."

"As long as you don't mind." Reynaldo picked up speed as they entered the freeway. The silence of the car still unsettled Darby a little, but not as much as the first ride had. He found himself paying attention to the curves, including the long, sweeping one to merge onto I-81. They drove just a mile before taking the exit and heading into town.

Reynaldo pulled to a stop in front of his house. "I'll be right back." He left Darby alone in the car. Patience was something he learned quite some time ago. He relied on others, and that meant that he had to do things on their time frames rather than his own.

"Get on in," Reynaldo said after opening the back door. Daisy jumped in back and then poked her head between the seats, sniffing Darby before nuzzling his cheek. "No licking." Not that the dog paid any attention—she kissed his cheek.

"You're a sweet dog, aren't you?" Darby said, patting her head.

"She's spoiled, that's for sure." Reynaldo climbed back in and closed the door before they headed off again. "Daisy, sit down." She seemed to, and they continued through town. "We're here."

"You live close to me."

"Just a mile or so." Reynaldo leaned back, and there was a metallic click as he snapped on Daisy's leash. "Do you want to introduce them out back?"

"Good idea. Go on through the side gate, and I'll open the house and let Rex out." Darby was familiar with the street, and he easily crossed and unlocked the door. Inside, Rex came to meet him and followed Darby through the house to the back door.

Rex zipped out as soon as he opened the door, and Darby followed him out. "Are they getting along?" He didn't hear any growling or fighting, not that he expected any.

"They seem to be. Daisy, play nice," Reynaldo called. "They're getting to know each other with a ton of sniffing." Chairs slid over the concrete. "Here's a chair for you."

Darby sat down, and Reynaldo did the same, taking his hand. "I love it out here when the rest of the world is quieter. I know it's night."

"How do you know? I mean, I know you have a clock, but otherwise how do you know if it's day or night?"

"If I'm outside, it's easy. I can feel the sun or listen. Right now, I don't feel the sun, and the neighbor has a pond. They used to have a fountain, but the pump broke last year and they didn't fix it. So the pond has gone to nature, and if you listen carefully, you can hear some of the frogs croaking. Then there's the other neighbor who has one of those old-fashioned bug lights, and it zaps whenever a bug gets into it. Those happen at night. The street out front is quieter, and sometimes one of the neighbors will have a party and music will waft over."

Rex put his head in Darby's lap, and Darby lightly stroked his soft fur.

"He's such a good boy. How long have you had him?"

"Two years. He's the second dog I've had. My first leader dog was Caroline. Carol for short. She was so wonderful, and after I lost her, I wasn't sure I wanted another dog. It was so hard losing my partner like that. My mother wanted me to put in for another dog right away, but I decided to wait. My dad is always practical, and he explained that it could take months for me to get another dog, so I reluctantly put in for one and got Rex eight months later."

Daisy barked softly nearby, and Darby pulled his hand away from Rex. "Go and play," he said gently. He wanted Rex to have a good time. His dog worked hard and was the definition of loyalty and dogly duty.

"That was nice. He and Daisy are getting along well, I think."

Reynaldo took his hand. "So am I." He squeezed lightly. "I wish you could see the stars up overhead. The neighbors just turned out their lights, so it's pretty dark. The trees just frame the sky, and more and more of the stars shine as it gets darker." The chair squeaked as Reynaldo shifted his weight. "Was that mean? I didn't intend it that way."

"No. Things are the way they are. I came to understand that a long time ago. Since I was able to see once, I can picture what you're talking about. But I know that it's not coming back. We tried a lot of different treatments, but nothing helped, and that's it." He paused because they were treading into territory where he didn't usually go. "It's hard to talk about, like losing a parent or a limb. It was something I had and will never have again. I was a kid when they told me what was going to happen, and I was still a kid when the inevitable came. Sometimes talking about it reopens the hurt."

"I'm sorry. I know I can't do anything about your sight, but you shouldn't have to deal with the pain like that."

"I had a shrink for a couple of years, and he helped me come to terms with the way things are. It helped to be around other kids who were blind. That made me feel a lot less alone. When I was in school here, everyone had something I didn't, and I was an outsider. But when I went away to school, the playing field leveled. I thank my parents so much for that."

"How did your mom take you being gone?" Reynaldo asked.

"She hated it. Mom was always the first to show up during parental visiting days and the last to leave. She came to programs and every open activity. I know she was being supportive, but I swear if she could have moved in with me, she would have. And she still doesn't understand that there will be things I will always need her for, but I have to be independent and stand on my own. It took months for me to get her to understand that I wasn't rejecting her when I wanted to move out."

"You're an adult, and you need to make your own way in the world just like everyone else," Reynaldo said.

"Exactly." He grew quiet, letting the crickets and frogs fill the night. The dogs had been running, but they seemed to have settled down. He could hear them panting out on the lawn. "I love this time of day. The hustle and bustle is over, and everything seems so quiet. It's like the humans recede and nature sort of takes over again." He breathed deeply, letting go of the tension he tended to hold in his shoulders. In and out, he let the night air wash over him. It was warm and a little humid, but with a hint of freshness on the breeze that promised a cooler morning.

"I know what you mean, but I don't think I experience it the same way you do."

Darby chuckled. "You know the whole thing about how when one sense is gone, the others become more acute is bullshit, right? My hearing is the same as it was before I was blind. So are my senses of smell and touch. I just pay more attention to them. That's the only difference." He sighed. "Close your eyes and keep them closed. Turn off your sight for a little bit. Just concentrate on what you hear."

Reynaldo grew quiet for a few minutes.

"Now tell me what you hear."

"The frogs from next door. There's another one. The chink in Daisy's collar. What is that high-pitched sound?"

"The neighbor's air conditioner has a whine in it that needs to be fixed," Darby explained. It drove him crazy. He hoped they got someone out to take care of it soon. "I told them about it last week, and they said they'd call for service. What else?" He continued holding Reynaldo's hand.

"You had your grass mowed. It's kind of sweet smelling."

"It was done three days ago. The sweet smell is the clippings as they start to break down." He smiled to himself. "If you pay attention…." He sighed.

"Oh, that's lovely," Reynaldo said as the breeze swirled through the yard. "What is that?"

"The yard two over has a late-blooming viburnum, and it's at its height. Every now and then it sends the scent over here. I have a number of them in my yard, but they're done. That's the last one of the season, and I just love it. Those bushes are all around, but I bet you never smelled one until tonight."

"No, I didn't."

"I have lilacs that bloom in May, and there are a bunch of hyacinths that bloom earlier. They all have this amazing scent that fills the air. I love it. My lawn company has done their best to work with me to fill the yard with flowering plants with amazing scents. I have lots of lavender and some other herbs that carry an earthy scent."

"What about roses?" Reynaldo asked.

"I don't have many of those. You have to get close to smell them, and the thorns aren't worth it. I do have honeysuckle and some lilies with an amazing smell that bloom in July and August. We're searching for more varieties."

"Lily of the valley, though you have to be sure to plant it in a contained space because it spreads," Reynaldo suggested. "There's also nicotiana. It's a flowering version of a tobacco relative and blooms for a long time."

"You know plants?" Darby asked.

"Our neighbor growing up had a gorgeous garden, and I used to go over sometimes. Aunt Rosemary was a garden club lady, and I swear she knew everything about each of the plants in her yard—which ones would repel bugs, the ones that rabbits didn't eat… you name it. When I was a teenager, she used to hire me to help her in her gardens, and she was so passionate about the plants, I couldn't help but pick things up."

Darby sat still, just listening to the night. The dogs lay nearby, panting lightly. Reynaldo held his hand for a few minutes before leaning in. Darby held his breath, feeling it when Reynaldo drew closer. Warm air ghosted over his lips, and then Reynaldo kissed him, heat building between them in seconds, threatening to overwhelm him… and from the slight tang in the air, maybe Reynaldo too. But Reynaldo backed away again, squeezing his hand before resettling in his chair, and quiet descended around them.

There were so many times when others thought they had to fill the silence, but Darby relished the quiet. It meant that things were peaceful, and he was smart enough to enjoy those times and the people he was with, because all that could change fast.