June 22

Did you know you can WebMD grief? Some symptoms of grieving are: increased inflammation, lower immunity, high blood pressure, fatigue, dry mouth. This list goes on. But symptoms, to me, allude to a diagnosis, a problem that can be fixed with medicine. A pill. Or surgery. Or Jell-O and an IV bag.

But there is no cure for this.

I don’t need a doctor to tell me I’m sick. I’m like Jessie in that episode of Saved By The Bell. You know the one. I’m her, minus the pills and singing group. When she’s running around like, “There’s no time! No time to study, no time for Stanford, no time to sing!” I’m like, I get it, girl. I get it.

There’s no time. And all I want to do is sleep. Or cry. I’m on the edge of a breakdown, barely holding it together, one hug from Zack away from totally losing it.

Unlike Jessie, I’m not auditioning for a record label, I’m just tired. Tired of being angry. Tired of taking care of everything and everyone else. I’m tired of being tired.

I am defeated. Deflated. And not so good at accepting hugs from my own Zack Morris. Guess it’s true what they say. TV will rot your brain.

#Grief #GriefSymptoms #RaymondStGeorge #JessiesSong #JessieSpano #SavedByTheBell