Chapter 33

33

Reece:

Be ready by 11 a.m. I've got a surprise for you.

That was the message I woke up to the next morning, and I spent a bit too long staring at it until my eyes blurred as I hesitated to reply.

The sun was burning bright through my window, casting heated air to swirl in the closed space of my room. I kicked off the light blanket I had draped over the top half of my body. I had forgotten to turn my air conditioner on that night, and I was paying the price this morning as sweat clung and dried on my body.

Summer was always a nightmare, with the unbearable heat and no air conditioning in my room apart from the dingy Kmart one that I'd fill with ice water to blow a chilled breeze. It was tiring and a bit expensive to always buy ice for it.

After yesterday afternoon, my body ached, and I was exhausted. I went to bed straight after dinner around seven p.m., and crashed right as my head hit the pillow, and forgot all about the air conditioner.

It was already about nine a.m., so I ran a shower, rinsing off the heat before wrapping a towel around my body. I flicked through my cupboard of what to wear while I enjoyed the relief of the cool air from the air conditioner. I grabbed the hanger with my new favourite sundress, blue with little white flowers printed on it, and hung it on the front of the door while I relaxed in bed until it was closer to eleven.

I needed to talk to him. I needed to know what we were doing and if we were on the same page. I couldn't keep hiding it all anymore. Every time I saw him, I felt whole again, like a piece of my soul returning to me. Every look he gave me had a million tiny sparks skittering along my skin. Every kiss felt like it connected straight to my heart, allowing it to beat a perfect symphony just for him.

But no matter how good that feeling felt, it scared the hell out of me. I was so afraid to lose him. I was afraid that all of this would fall away and I would lose his friendship again. I wanted him, but his friendship meant so much more to me. I couldn't live without him in my life. This thing between us was so much more than it was a year ago and it would break me if all of it was lost.

The summer break was coming to an end, and the first baseball game back was tomorrow. I felt like the little bubble we had been enclosed in the past few weeks was one tragedy away from bursting. All of the secret meet-ups and the kisses behind closed doors I knew wouldn't last forever, but I hoped for more. We hadn't even talked about what we were doing. It's just that whenever we were together, we couldn't escape the magnetising pull we had on each other and the way it felt when we collided. His kiss was intoxicating, his smile had me wanting to pull more out of him, and his embrace was the most comforting thing I'd experienced. I could list so many things about him that I loved. And that was the scary thing.

The fact that I loved so much about him, but couldn't do a thing about it because of that fear was frustrating. Because of this overwhelming vulnerability I had been taught not to show. Because what if he didn't feel the same? What if this was still all physical to him? Because of my brother, because of Liam, the betrayal I had committed.

It hurt too much to be this scared of something that felt so good, so natural.

I swallowed the bile forming in my throat and got ready. I was going to enjoy whatever Reece had planned because if this wasn't going to be the last, I wanted to enjoy every moment I could with him. And I would shove the blooming feelings into the darkest corner of my heart and ignore them for as long as I could.

His car horn sounded from the driveway, and I quickly climbed downstairs after hooking my camera strap around my neck and locking the front door behind me. His eyes locked on mine through the window, and they followed me the whole way until I opened the passenger door to his car.

I smiled. "Hi."

He swallowed as his eyes roamed down the length of my body, taking in the dress I wore to the hem that ended mid-thigh. It reminded me of the first time he saw me in this dress while I was out shopping with my friends. He met my gaze again with the swirling darkness of an evergreen forest and a smirk ticking the corner of his lips as if he was remembering the same.

"You look so fucking beautiful in that dress," he rasped as I climbed into the seat and shut the door. "Oh, and hi."

My cheeks heated under his compliment as I looked away, and I smoothed my hands along the fabric resting on my thighs before redirecting the attention off of me. "So, what are we doing?" I asked, flicking my gaze back to him.

He smiled, taking in every corner of my face with his gaze before responding. "What do you think about a picnic by the river?"

He pulled up to the river shortly after but my eyes were transfixed on the pier which had been transformed with blankets, pillows, and a few candles surrounding it.

My thoughts weren't piecing together the fact that that spot was meant for us.

I didn't see Jake waiting near it, I didn't notice anything past how romantic it looked until Reece started leading me closer toward it, his hand lacing through mine.

He pressed his lips together to stop his smile from forming as I looked up at him, brows bunched in confusion and wonder while my heart boomed. "Is this for us?"

He turned his head slightly, eyes jumping over each feature of my face whilst the smile broke free. "Yeah." He cleared his throat and looked forward. "Yeah, it is."

The smile that bloomed on my face was wild and uncontrollable as Reece nodded to Jake as we walked past. Reece thanked him, and he turned to walk backward, throwing us a wink.

"Have fun," he sang before disappearing to his car.

When we sat on the pier, Reece sat a basket down between us I didn't realise he was holding. He opened the top before flicking his eyes to me, pulling out all the items down to the little paper plates. "I hope you like pies and pastries. I went to the bakery before picking you up. You know, the little one around the corner from the baseball field. It's my favourite. I go there all the time before a game."

I watched Reece while he rambled before laying my hand on his arm, making his attention jump to me. His eyes nervously roamed my face, and I tried to press my lips together to contain my smile.

"I love that bakery. I think I've tried everything on that menu, and I love them all. So, whatever you got, I'm sure it'll be delicious."

He nodded. "Good. Okay."

He had thought of everything, and the slight blush making its way onto his cheeks with each items he pulled out of the basket was cute. I watched him while he did so before he sat everything out on the blanket beneath us, and my eyes wandered over them. There were about four different meat pies, chocolate croissants, vanilla slices, macarons, and finger buns. He had a stack of paper plates as well, with plastic cutlery.

I flicked my eyes to him, noticing him already looking at me with anticipation and… anxiety?

"You expect us to eat all of this?" I asked, amused.

He chuckled and dragged a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I might have gone a little overboard. I wasn't sure what you would like."

I sighed a laugh and threaded my fingers through his. "It looks amazing. Thank you, Reece."

He shrugged as if it was nothing. "I thought it would be nice to grab a bite to eat at our favourite spot."

His eyes slid back to mine, and there was a glimmer of something I wanted to believe was more. It softened his features, and it felt like a delicate feather dusting over my skin, coaxing bumps to rise over my skin despite the rippling heat soaking into our skin from the sun.

We ate, talked, and laughed for what felt like mere minutes but were really hours with the sun descending in the sky and casting a shadow over us, allowing us to bask in the cool breeze that washed over us. It was almost four in the afternoon before we noticed and my skin had become a tinge of red from being exposed to the sun without reapplying sunscreen which Reece had offered me before we dug in to eat.

My mouth had started to ache from how hard I had been smiling and laughing, and the creases of my eyes held the dried tears of laughing too hard.

Reece looked so happy in those moments, and I wanted to just keep looking at him and the smile that brought out his dimples. He was the most beautiful when he was happy and I wanted to believe it was because of me. Because of my presence and ability to make him smile. I wanted him to forget everything that was going on in his head and all that weighed his shoulders down. I wanted him to know that he could just exist here in the present with me.

Because that's exactly how I felt with him.

I took pictures of the river with the city in the background and the trees as they swayed. Reece pulled me down to where he lay on the pier and stole my camera to take pictures of us. Some of them turned out blurry as he shook in laughter, and I covered my face to hide. But then he pulled my hands down, and he took way too many pictures all in a burst as we smiled at the camera, and then he turned his head to where I laid right next to him on my side, my hair fanning out everywhere. He smiled at me, the camera still in his grip. He brought his thumb to my chin and kept taking pictures. He kissed me and kept taking pictures. He smiled against my lips and kept taking pictures.

He put the camera down between us after he demolished the SD card I had with the onslaught of pictures. He brought his hand up to brush against the skin of my cheek in a soft caress, then dragged it through my hair behind my ear, brushing it to fall behind me. That emotion that I had seen earlier came back, the softening of his features and something raw and vulnerable.

"Just something to remember me by," he whispered between the sliver of space between us and it caught my breath in my throat and my heart ceased to exist.

It was like those words had an underlying meaning. A hidden goodbye in those words that I didn't understand.

So many emotions flooded through me; confusion, anger, hurt, surprise. I wasn't sure which one to pinpoint. Which one to grab hold of.

But then he popped up to sit again and started to pack away all the food back into the basket. I stayed lying there for a minute, still trying to discern his words before he looked back at me, a smile I knew all too well was a mask to hide his true emotions.

"Come on, I have somewhere else to take you."

I took his hand in a numb movement as he pulled me up to stand.

And I began to understand what this whole day was about to be. One last moment alone. One last secret to hold. One last kiss.

I just didn't fully understand what was happening and why it hurt so much.