Chapter 12

12

Since the evening by the river with Reece, there wasn't a moment where we weren't talking in some way over the following week. Texting, calling, hanging out by the river when we were free.

It was back to how we were before Liam had introduced us, but also… there was something different in the way our friendship evolved. The energy around us had turned more flirtatious, toeing that line between our friendship just to see what the other would do. It was in the little touches in our secret moments by the river and the loaded looks in the silent ones. It was in the way we spent hours on the phone, whispering to each other while my brother was across the hall, risking it all with how paper thin our walls were.

It felt illegal to be talking to Reece, which is why I avoided telling Nate where I was going and who I was going to see when I left the house. In all seriousness, he was my friend first, and it shouldn't matter so much. But lately, the water had become so murky, I didn't know where we stood. Every day, another butterfly joined the zoo of them taking residency in my stomach when I was around him. I wasn't sure how I could hide it all from the nosiest brother I'd ever known.

I lied to Nate every day, and it twisted something in my stomach every time. I told him I was going to see Avery, or going somewhere with Alex. It was like handing myself a double ended sword because even my two best friends didn't know. I was too caught up in Reece to have time to be with them or talk to them, which should have made me feel like the shittiest friend alive. But my time was so consumed in Reece.

Today was different, though. We hadn't planned to do anything, so I kept my phone close by the whole morning, having trouble not glancing at it every five minutes to see any notifications from him. By the time it was eleven o'clock, I still hadn't heard from him. In the past five days, I had gotten used to waking up to a text from him, so I was disappointed when I got nothing. I almost laughed at myself for how ridiculous I was acting.

Nate came downstairs then, distracting me a little from constantly peeking at my phone. He crashed down on the couch beside me as an episode of New Girl played on the screen.

"Want to order some lunch?" he asked, eyes glued to the TV.

I glanced at him. "Sure. What are you thinking?"

He shrugged, pulling out his phone. "Maybe pizza? It'll be easier since Reece will be here soon."

My heart kicked up a notch at the sound of his name before it sank when I realised he never mentioned this on the phone last night. Was that why I hadn't heard from him? My chest pinched when my thoughts ran back to when he ignored my existence after Liam introduced us, and I started to wonder if he would throw me aside again with Nate in our presence. If he would walk right past me when he walked into the house like he had last summer before Nate left for Uni.

I tried to tamp my thoughts, knowing Nate was still waiting for an answer. It was hard not to sound vacant when my head was still in a spiral. "Yeah, sure. Pizza's fine."

Nate didn't seem to notice though as he stood from the couch, tapping away on his phone. "Cool. I'll get your usual. We'll be in my room most of the day, so try not to disturb us too much."

I nodded absentmindedly. "Sure, no problem."

He retreated back to his room, and once left alone, it was harder to tame those thoughts from running wild. The TV show was still playing on the screen, but I wasn't paying attention to anything that was happening while my focus was elsewhere.

Was he pulling away again to keep us at a distance? Was he trying to hide me being friends with him? Was it so embarrassing to be associated with me that he had to completely ignore me when visiting my brother? God, why couldn't anything be normal in my life?

It was only the sound of a patterned knock on the door that pulled me out of my head, as if I had been subconsciously waiting for it.

I heard Nate yelling curses and knew he was already absorbed in his world of gaming, so I heaved a sigh and swallowed down the nerves that skittered across my skin with anticipation. With the unknown of which Reece I would get.

It was stupidly over-thought, but I was so used to the hot and cold. I was used to being left behind whenever I wasn't useful for someone. I was used to expecting the worst from someone.

I could blame my mother for that.

But when I opened the door, I was welcomed by his warm smile, and it was like being wrapped in a warm embrace. My muscles loosened at the sight. I could feel all those probing thoughts that flooded my head just moments before begin to flake away with the way he smiled at me and his eyes swept over my oversized shirt and shorts.

"Where's Nate?" he asked as he adjusted the strap of his bag over his shoulders, snapping his gaze up to mine.

"In his room, where else?"

He lifts a brow, as if expecting something. "Well," he started as he swept his arm, gesturing further into the house. "Aren't you going to show me the way?"

I rolled my eyes. "Reece, you've been here many times before, you know where to go."

"That is true," he hummed. "Maybe I just wanted to spend a few more moments with you before your brother consumes my time."

I scoffed as I moved past him, making my way back to the lounge and I felt him follow behind. "Be serious, Fischer."

"I'm being very serious, Summers," he said and I spun around to face him. "Just because I'm here to hang out with Nate doesn't mean I don't want to see you. You are my favourite Summers sibling after all."

He grinned after that last comment and winked.

My heart, the traitorous thing, stuttered, while my head swirled with too many thoughts to process. I didn't let the turmoil show as I rolled my eyes with a scoff.

"Come on then." I ignored the triumphant smile he wore as I breezed past him, his earthy and sandalwood cologne mixing in the wind.

I waited for him at the base of the stairs, and when he stepped next to me, he beamed down at me. "This is very generous of you, Summers."

I rolled my eyes once again at him. "Don't get used to it."

He chuckled. "Now, I think it's a bit too late, considering all my free time has been spent with you this week."

And there my heart went again, stuttering at the words spilled from his lips.

I changed the topic to one that had been on my mind all week every time I had snuck out of my house. "Do you think Nate would find it weird, us spending so much time together?"

It was such a small world between us. We went from not knowing each other at all, to finding out I was dating his best friend, and then later on that, he was friends with my brother. We had built a close friendship in the time before that, but after, it seemed like the end of that friendship, no matter how much that gutted me. Nate or Liam never found out that we knew each other. Neither one of us told them anything, apparently. Reece just took it upon himself to distance himself from me. But now that I had him back, was it weird to have the same friends as my brother?

"I don't think so," Reece shrugged. "I mean we're just friends, I don't think he would care about that."

It was true, what he said. I agree with that. I didn't understand, though, why I felt a sharp sting shoot through my chest.

I shook off the feeling, knowing I shouldn't feel hurt by his words, but it was still there, pulsing and aching, even when I plastered on a smile.

We stopped in front of Nate's room and he turned to me. "Thank you for your chivalry. I will see you another time." He saluted me with a smile before walking through the door and closing it behind him.

I was angry with myself. Felt like I was going crazy at that moment. Every subtle touch and sweet words caught my heart's attention. And I truly felt like I was going mad because there was no way that forbidden crush I had on Reece was starting to come back in flutters.

I felt even more ridiculous when I secluded myself in my room the whole afternoon with my box of pizza right until I heard him leave and watched him get into his car. He seemed to idle there for what felt like an eternity but was probably only five minutes.

I felt it. I always felt when his eyes were on me. I couldn't see him through his tinted windows, but I knew. I didn't care if he saw me watching him from my window and that I didn't bother to say goodbye. I just watched until he finally drove away.

A cowardly way to go about the revelations running through my mind.

Later that evening, when the sun had almost set and the house was almost eerily quiet, I decided to break from my seclusion and wandered down to the kitchen, thinking Nate was still in his room, having fallen asleep or something. But I was wrong, finding him in the kitchen in front of the opened fridge, eyes searching for something.

"You know, the longer you stand there won't make anything jump out at you," I said as I opened the cupboard to grab the mi goreng noodles I had stashed away right before he arrived back home for the month. Knowing him, he would have scarfed them down within the first couple of days. He loved them just as much as I did, but I savoured them whereas he devoured them.

I threw a packet at him as he closed the fridge door and I opened my own into a bowl.

He waved the packet in his hand towards me. "Thank you."

In silence, we poured water into our bowls and microwaved the noodles before pouring the seasoning on top. It was only when we were both sitting at the kitchen bench, the dim lit lights hanging over the bench the only source of light for us, that Nate had broken the silence.

"So, now that you're a high school graduate, what's the plan now for you?"

I groaned and rolled my eyes as I turned to him. "Not you too."

He frowned. "What?"

"Why does everyone feel like I need a plan after high school? Like can't I just relax and enjoy not having to get up at six in the morning or have homework to do?"

His eyes softened. "Hey, I didn't mean it like that. All I meant is if you were doing anything exciting or if you were, like you said, enjoying the moments. No pressure."

I let out a drawn out sigh as I lent my chin on my palm propped up on the kitchen bench. "Sorry. It's just that question always sets me off."

He smiled reassuringly. "I get it, trust me."

He was probably the one person who really did get it. I felt bad for getting angry at him like that but that question always has my guard raising and every muscle in my body tensing. It's so god damn exhausting.

Nate cleared his throat, breaking me from my thoughts as he threw his bowl in the sink and made his way to the couch."Come on, let's go watch a movie."

I rolled my eyes. "I'll be with you soon. You choose."

I washed his bowl and mine before loading it into the dishwasher. I joined him after, kicking my legs up on the table next to his and sinking into my seat.

Kicking his foot, I narrowed my eyes, ready to grill him about his dirty dishes. "I hope you're not like that at your house."

He perked an inquisitive brow while not taking his eyes off the TV while he scrolled through movie selections. "Like what?"

"Leaving your dishes in the sink until they pile up. You were so bad at that before you moved out."

"You were just as bad sometimes," he scoffed. "You sound like Maree."

I spun in my seat. "Who's Maree?"

He had never mentioned meeting anyone up there, and it had almost been a year.

He scratched the back of his neck. He looked like he didn't mean to blurt out the name, and it only made me more curious and excited.

"Uh, she may or may not be someone that I'm seeing."

My grin almost split my face from how wide it pulled. I was happy for him — so happy — and it made me miss having him around because I was missing out on these important things that were happening in his life. I wanted to hear about it as it was happening, not a year down the line.

I missed sharing these things with him and it felt like I was disconnected from him. Like knowing everything about him and everything in his life to knowing nothing new.

So I sat there, listening with a smile on my face as he recalled his whole meet-cute with this mystery girl and how they were just casually seeing each other, ignoring the flutter of jealousy, seeing how happy he looked at the mention of her.

Wanting just the chance to feel like that. To have someone talk about me like that when I wasn't around.