Chapter 4

I love being back with Merrick. It’s all so easy and familiar. We pick up as if we haven’t been separated for months. He knows there’s more going on than me giving up my job. He also knows me well enough not to ask, that I’ll get there when I’m ready.

For the moment, I’m staying in the cottage Merrick lived in when he first came to Calston Cove, but he’s moved into Mill House, and Drew is happy to let me stay in the cottage as long as I want. I’m paying him rent, of course.

Although I’ve come up with some ideas, I still haven’t decided what I’m going to do. Offering exercise classes of some kind would be a good start to a new business. The school may hire out their gym for evening classes. Maybe I can start a running club to get customers. The best way to find out is to ask the man who knows everything and everyone in the town, Merrick’s man—Drew.

“What do people do around here to keep fit?” I ask Drew as we tuck into Benny’s French toast and bacon. The toast should be illegal it’s so good, and if I don’t find somewhere to hit some weights, I’m going to lose my abs.

“I run and surf. Something I did with Ivan before he—well, just before.”

Merrick has filled me in on the breakdown of their friendship and that Ivan had upped sticks and disappeared at the end of August. No one has seen or heard from him since. I don’t remember him, even though Merrick said Ivan saw us back in July.

“What about the people who don’t do that? I mean, are there no classes, yoga, or HIIT, any kind of exercise? Your sister is fit and toned. What does she do?” I’d met Stacey in the pub a couple of times in the few weeks I’ve been here.

“I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it. She must go to classes somewhere. She and Melanie prance around in expensive yoga gear. I can ask her.”

“Does the school rent out its gym? I’m thinking about starting a fitness club here. Maybe two evenings a week to begin with.”

“Do you want me to find out? A fitness club would be a great idea. I’ll call Stacey now.” He pulls out his phone and swipes it open.

I carry on eating and tune out his conversation. I’ve learnt that Drew goes full on with everything he sets his mind to. Merrick says it’s exhausting to watch him sometimes, but then he sighs and gets a dreamy look in his eyes.

I’m going to have to return to London to get more winter clothes and a few other pieces. Not that I’m looking forward to returning to the noise and the fumes, the packed paths and rushing people, though. I like the pace here, the way the people smile and say hello as you pass. Of course it’s not all rose-tinted. The wind and rain can be a bitch as it rolls in from the sea and soaks you to the skin in seconds, but I still prefer it over London. The downside so far is that the chance of meeting someone is zero. I haven’t met a single man or woman who has shown any interest in me or me in them. No one can hold a candle to that man I’ve done the dirty with. That one night has changed who I am, what I want. And that’s broad chests, rippling muscles, and calloused fingers. Gruff words and deep moans that reverberate through my chest as scruff from stubble scrapes over my neck and throat.

My cheeks heat as I get lost in the memory of the best night of my life.

“You okay? You’ve gone red.” Drew brings me back to the here and now.

Oh crap. “I’m fine. Does she know anything?”

“As a matter of fact, she does. She goes to a gym that’s attached to a college, but it’s about half an hour away, so she loves the idea of something local. She does yoga and core strength, whatever that is, and something called hit. Is that like kickboxing? I can’t imagine her doing that. She likes her nails too much.”

I laugh. “No, it stands for high-intensity interval training. It’s really good. I love it. Did you ask about the school, or do I need to enquire through them?”

“They do hire it out. It’s used for some of the town committees and kids” birthday parties, that sort of thing. But you would need to contact them directly. Stacey’s going to send me the contact name and number.”

“That’s awesome. Thanks, Drew.”

“What’s awesome?” Merrick approaches our table. Drew stands up, gives my friend a quick kiss, and holds out his arms for a wiggly Willow. She launches herself at him and tells him everything she’s done in the few hours they’ve been apart.

“I just found out that the school hires out, is all.”

“And that’s awesome, why?” He looks over at the counter and catches Benny’s eye. He orders coffee for all of us and something indulgent for Willow.

“I’m thinking of starting some classes in the evenings. I miss working out, and it could be a good way to make some money. I’ve got all the qualifications and insurances, but I’ll need to advertise, and I doubt there’ll be many people to begin with. It’s worth a go, though, don’t you think?”

Instead of reacting with enthusiasm, Merrick stays silent, and my excitement vanishes. “You don’t think it’s a good idea?”

“It depends on what you plan to do. If you intend to stay and make your home here, I think it’s a fabulous idea. But if this is a stepping stone while you find out what you want to do with your life, then no. Don’t get people signed up if you leave after six, seven, or however many weeks it takes to get whatever drove you here out of your system.”

Wow. Where the hell did that come from? “Jesus, Merrick, that’s harsh.” Drew hisses.

“It’s true, though.” Merrick looks at me. “You’ve been here for, what, a month? Do you really think that’s enough time to decide to make your home here? And besides, you’ve said nothing about why you’ve come.”

What has got into him? Does he realise how hypocritical he’s being? He bought his house at an online auction. He’d never even heard of Calston Cove. He moved here and didn’t tell a soul why. “You need to think about what you’ve just said.” My voice is cold, something I never thought could happen with my best friend.

I go to the counter to pay for our lunch and walk out without glancing back. Within minutes, I’m back at the cottage, my head buzzing with mixed emotions. Merrick’s words have hurt me. I hadn’t realised he felt like that about me. That I’m here wasting my time until I get my shit together, but being here is me doing just that. It’s what he did. We both came here to get away from something. Granted, his reason was way more tragic than mine, but both are valid. While he ran away from his friends, I ran to mine. Apparently, it isn’t good enough. I have to tell him why.

My night with a man wasn’t the reason; it was the catalyst. An awakening. It opened my eyes to my life and how settled I’d become. I had become complacent, not interested in furthering my career or meeting someone I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I can’t even remember the last time I’d been with someone other than the hot club guy.

Where am I going from now on? What’s next for me?

I’ll prove to Merrick that I’m here for the long haul. I’ll start my classes and become integrated with the community the way I want to. He doesn’t have to know the nitty-gritty. He should be supporting me, regardless.

My phone buzzes with a message from Drew with the contact details for the school. Stubbornness takes over, and I call the number.