Chapter 24

When in doubt,find a princess.

It was not the motto I would initially have thought up before, but after my time at Princess Aster’s place, I realized he and his friends boosted my confidence in a way I had never experienced. If I was going to show up in Wes’s world, I had to be stronger than I was. I needed people who believed in me enough to tell me I was worthy. I needed people who didn’t look at my past and feel pity.

The minute I texted Princess Aster to see if he was busy, he told me to come over. It was one of the days that I sent lunch to Wes, so there was no reason I didn’t have plenty of time to visit with the other man.

Little did I know that he would call in the cavalry.

I arrived at his place to find the lot filled with several cars. At first, I assumed it was maybe a customer or two who had come to shop at his boutique. The small space boasted quite a bit of inventory. With the additional playroom for any active members of the community, it means that his place was always bustling. Except instead of customers when I walked in, I found familiar faces, along with a few unfamiliar ones.

“Did I interrupt something?” I hesitated right inside the door. It was obvious to anyone watching that I was a second away from bolting. Princess Aster floated over to me in a full dress in a light pink color. The material looked soft. I kind of wanted to touch it, but at the same time I didn’t want to give him the wrong impression.

I had never realized how touch starved I was until coming to live with Wes. Everything about him drew me in. All those tiny touches, no matter where they were, sent me reeling. I had found myself more than once running my fingers through his beard or rubbing the muscles of his chest. Each time I would freeze and stop, he would encourage me to keep going.

Somehow, that habit had become more than just about Wes. I watched the pink fabric sway the closer he got. As if he could read my mind, Princess Aster pinched part of the dress and held it towards me.

“It’s super soft,” he said. “See.”

I reached out at his insistence and ran my hand over the material. “It is,” I praised.

“Are we already at the petting part of the day?” A snarky voice called from the sidelines.

The man in front of me turned and stuck his tongue out. The group around us giggled.

“Not everyone is as standoffish as you, Vaughn. Some of us like to be petted like the pretty people we are.”

“I just got a visual of a people petting zoo. It’s a really weird concept, but someone would probably love it.” I knew that voice. It was Doyle.

Charlie, Princess Aster’s husband, stepped forward. “Let’s move past that. Now, Princess Aster did not call us all here just to pet him, though I’m sure he might someday. Gerald, come sit. What brings you back to our neck of the woods?”

I eased down into one of the open chairs. “I need some advice. And maybe a confidence boost.”

“Oh, I’m perfect for that! Tell me the scenario. We’ve got your back.” Princess Aster moved over to sit across from me. Charlie stood behind him while the others made their way to circle around us.

It truly felt like I had a squad of cheerleaders ready to help me face whatever I was going to tell them.

“Wes has a black-tie function for work. And… he wants me to go as his plus one.”

“You said yes, of course.”

I gave Princess Aster a firm nod. “Of course. I’m not a complete idiot. It’s just that since then, I’ve been thinking about it nonstop. I don’t want to be a disappointment or let him down. What we have is —” I broke off, unsure how to describe it.

“It’s new and exciting,” one of the men I didn’t know said. He was younger than me and had an air about him. Something in his gaze spoke to me. “You’re worried you’ll mess up by not being someone you think you have to be for him.”

Princess Aster snapped his fingers. “Tucker is right.”

“Of course, I am. They”re both in this predicament in part because of me,” he replied. At my confused expression, he elaborated. “Well, me and P.A., really. When Wes called me to say he needed help, I called here, and we set up the interview for you.”

My mouth fell open. “You’re Tucker? From the club, Tucker?”

The other man smiled as he pointed a finger at me. “I’d be the one and only.”

It was then I noticed more about him. He was wearing a full one-piece pajama get up in light purple, and he had a pacifier clipped to his chest. There was a hood on his back with a stuffed bear tucked inside.

“Thank you, then. You’ve done more for me than you’ll ever realize.”

A wave of gratitude followed my words. He smiled softly, then tilted his head. “It’s always a pleasure to help others in our network. I can’t say that I make it out here near as much as I want since the club has everything I could ever need, but when I do, it’s always a great time. Right, P.A.?”

“Always!” he agreed. “Now then, about your issue. I need you to hear this next part loud and clear. You are worthy, Gerald Grimes. Worthy of love, worthy of someone’s time, and worthy of them showing you off. Wes wouldn’t have asked you if he didn’t want you to go. All you need to do is trust him to not let you fall.”

I shrugged. “You say it like it’s easy. It won’t be. Plus, this place will likely have alcohol at every turn. Oh, god! This place is a nightmare for me. That’s it. I can’t go.”

When I moved to stand, a pair of hands softly pushed me back down. I leaned back to see Byron hovering over me.

“As someone who was prone to panicking before thinking it through, I suggest taking another minute before giving up.”

“It’s odd seeing Byron being the voice of reason,” Doyle fake whispered.

Everyone laughed at the tease, even Byron. I let the ease of the conversation settle my nerves.

Tucker leaned forward. “Let me ask you a question, Gerald.”

“Um, ok?”

“What about the club? Have you given thought to it much?”

I shook my head. “Not really. It’s only come up a few times in all these months.”

“That sounds about right given we haven’t seen Wes at the club. Before, his ex was a hinderance. She wasn’t in the lifestyle, so he would only come out to have drinks every once in a while. I’m talking nearly a year between visits. This from a man who was there almost nightly at one point.”

I stiffened at the thought of him with so many other people. Other submissives who wanted his attention.

Tucker noticed right away. “It’s not what you’re thinking. You’ve never been, which makes it hard to translate. Basically, the club is a place to let down your guard. There is no pretending to hide your kinks in a place like that.”

“I think what Tucker is saying is that Wes could be the Dominant he truly is without shame or worry. We don’t force our kinks onto others. That’s just good manners,” Princess Aster inserted.

“Yes! Thanks, P.A.,” he directed to the other man before turning back to me. “I’m simply stating that for years, Wes suppressed a part of himself. And I worry that he’s doing it again. Not that he needs the club to have an outlet or anything. I can come here when I need to be little and don’t want to do it there. I guess what I’m trying to get at in a long, roundabout way, is that maybe Wes invited you to this as a way to get you used to being out with him. Maybe this is a starting point for him to see if you’ll want to come to the club with him later.”

I closed my eyes as my mind took in his words. Could what he said be true? Was Wes using this party as a way to acclimate me to crowds so that I’d go to the club?

“That still doesn’t fix his problem with the alcohol,” another voice cut in. I turned to follow it.

“Oh shoot,” Princess Aster cried. “We didn’t introduce you to everyone, did we? The guy that just spoke is Xander. His partner Fisher isn’t here.”

“He’s working,” Xander provided.

“Right. He’s working until later. You already know Doyle, Byron, Vaughn, Charlie, and now Tucker. There are more people swinging by in a bit too. If you stay, I’ll introduce them like a good host.”

I laughed and shook my head. “You’re doing fine. I wasn’t expecting a full seating chart or anything.”

“That isn’t a bad idea actually. Maybe some cards and photo ids for any newbies to the group.” Charlie muttered the words, then strode toward the kitchen. He started writing notes on a legal pad, which in turn made Princess Aster sigh.

“I love when he gets all organized and stuff. His inner nerd comes out. It’s so hot.”

A few chuckles rose up, though no one gave him flack for loving his husband so much. We were all either thinking of our own someones, or just happy for the pair in general. My thoughts were a mix of both.

“Back to the alcohol issue,” Xander said. I turned to my left to face him. “I’d be willing to bet they have some non-alcoholic beverages available for the night. There are many people in the world like you, and there are also those who simply choose not to partake at all. If you mention it to Wes, I’m sure he’ll help support you.”

I thought of how he’d already been doing so in this journey of mine. Between the verbal support in all our talks and the physical support he’d provided in attending meetings with me, I knew there was truth to what Xander was saying.

“So basically, I need to go to this party and stick to Wes’s side. If all goes well, then maybe down the road I’ll see the club too. By that time, I’m hoping I won’t get this worked up.”

Princess Aster clicked his tongue. “None of that negative talk here. If you do feel overwhelmed and don’t want to talk to Wes about it, we’re always here. If I’m not, then there’s a whole squad of people ready to help you along.”

I smiled at that. Hadn’t I thought of them as a cheerleading squad earlier? How ironic was it that he’d just referred to them as such too?

With a deep breath, I nodded. “Ok, then. I’m going to the party. In the meantime, Tucker, can you tell me more about Club Deny?”

His eyes sparkled. “What all do you want to know?”

I answered without pause. “Everything. I want to know it all.”

It was a bold statement from a man who was kink-shy not all that long ago. My situation with Clancy affected the way I saw things. I’d thought the kink was to blame. It took me hitting rock bottom and climbing my way back up for me to see the truth.

“Let’s start at the beginning. There was a guy names Lewis, and a guy named Mateo…”