30. Oakley

30

OAKLEY

I've unlocked a new kink. I'm sure Loren's jaw is so fucking sore, but he never complains. This afternoon was my last final and I think I did pretty well. For the past week, every time I studied, we curled up on Loren's bed with my dick in his mouth and his fingers in my ass.

It should have been distracting. I should have been completely mindless. But he kept me suspended with just enough endorphins and barely breathless that I was almost super fixated on my work. I couldn't take notes in the first night's position. Which Loren remedied the second night when I got frustrated and he changed our position again, so I had use of my arms in relative comfort.

I've never been cared for by someone like this. Sometimes I think his entire drive in life is to make me happy. To give me whatever I ask for. He's so soft and tender with me, it constantly brings tears to my eyes.

When he asked me what I wanted to do to celebrate my last final of the semester, I told him I wanted to celebrate the same way he's been helping me study.

I'm not sure if it's that I know I have his entire focus like this or something else, but this is now my new favorite thing in the entire world. Don't get me wrong, I love when we do other things. Anything else. Doesn't even have to be sexual.

But there's something incredibly intimate and personal about this that makes me feel like I'm bleeding for him.

We've been like this for twenty minutes, I think. He worked up to three fingers, so my ass is nice and stretched. I'm not balls deep in his mouth, but he has me fully locked inside him with a firm, steady, soft suction constantly applied.

He knows what I like. He knows what I need.

I'm not sure if it's the removal of finals stress that's making me emotional right now or something else, but I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down. Not in a bad way, though. Like, I want to cry but… good cry. The only reason I manage to keep it in right now is because I think it'll upset Loren.

"Deeper," I whisper.

The jolt of pleasure that surges through me when he pushes three fingers deep inside me has me moaning. Somehow, in this position, I remain still and let him do what I tell him to without rocking too much.

My fingers dig into his hair and I close my eyes. I feel his mouth everywhere. With each deep thrust of his fingers—slow and thick—my body heats hotter and hotter. I don't want to come, but I do.

"Loren," I moan, breathless.

I can feel his attention, waiting for me to tell him what I want. What I need. But again, I'm not sure what I need right now. I just need more.

The whine in my throat lodges, and I press my hips to his face. Loren takes me, even as he tries not to gag. His fingers drive deeper, but I need more.

"More," I whine. I beg. "Please, Loren."

I'm surprised when he interprets that as another finger and I'm suddenly being stretched wider to accommodate. My champ of a boyfriend also buries my dick deeper into his throat. My eyes roll and I can't keep myself as still any longer.

I jerk, unsure if it's from the new burning in my ass or the way his throat constricts around my dick. For a while, I'm content like this. The new sensations are overwhelming, slightly achy, and fucking good. My skin burns, my mind swims, my eyes tear up. All in good ways.

"Loren," I whisper.

He rolls over so he's flat under me and wraps his free arm around my lower back, keeping me there. Keeping me plunged into his throat as he works my ass with almost his whole hand. Fuck, it feels good.

My hips rock on their own, pulling out of him and surging back down. The pleasure is intense. Consuming. Fuck, I don't want it to stop.

But I'm whining, I need something. I feel like a fucking baby right now because I don't know what that is. So I fuck his mouth harder, but that's not reaching what I need. With a frustrated screech I try to keep quiet, I roll off him and stare at the ceiling.

Loren climbs up my body and hovers over me. I smile because he's so ruffled and beautiful.

"What can I do?" he asks.

My heart breaks because he thinks it's him. I pull him down roughly and he drops. "You know how you tell me your touch aversion is a you thing?" I ask. He grins and nods. "This right now is a me thing. I don't know what I want. I want you, but I just need more. Even though I don't know what that means right now. I love what you're doing but I like, need you to climb inside me or something."

His grin widens.

We settle together, wrapping around each other. I'm sweaty, but so is he. "Do you like doing that?" I ask.

Loren nods.

I run my fingers along his jaw. "Does it hurt after a while? I'm a complete baby and can't suck dick for long without my jaw aching."

He hums, a smile on his sexy lips. "Yes, my jaw aches by the time you're done, but I don't mind at all. I would happily do this all day."

"You're incredible," I whisper.

Loren brushes his lips to mine. "You are too. Tell me how you want me to touch you."

"I like your fingers in my ass," I say, feeling my cheeks heat.

He wiggles us around so he can get my leg over his arm and regain access to my ass. It's not the best angle, but it still feels good. There's something about this position, though. I'm staring into his eyes. Sharing his breath.

"I love you," I whisper, and then my eyes go wide. "Fuck. I—Uh?—"

Loren smiles. His arm under me tangles in my hair and he brings my mouth to his. Because I feel foolish, I kiss him hard and desperate because… I completely meant that.

We remain entwined until I'm no longer feeling like an idiot, just riding his fingers and kissing him. Because I haven't told him I want to get off, he's just playing. Lightly brushing my prostate and stretching my hole as we kiss.

It's the moment between us like this that I crave. The things we share, unspoken.

"Do you really?" he asks.

I nod, keeping my eyes closed. "It's too soon to say that, right? To feel that way? I mean, it's only been like a couple months but it just feels like a lifetime. I feel you everywhere. I want to feel you everywhere. To feel you more than I think is possible."

Loren rolls us so I'm under him, pressing his fingers deeper inside me, and our dicks together. I definitely feel him more now. His mouth moves along my jaw, my neck. I groan as I let myself go under him.

"I have something," he whispers.

"What?"

"Will you let me pleasure you now? Can I make you come?"

"I'm not ready," I whine.

"You don't want to be done," he says, and I nod. "I won't make it quick. Promise."

"You can do whatever you want to me, Loren."

He smiles. "You say that, and I'm going to carve my name into your skin."

I shudder at the low rumble of his voice. I'm not sure I'd be opposed to that, but I don't say it out loud.

Loren gently disentangles us and moves to the side of the bed. He returns thirty seconds later with a… something. He settles between my legs and holds it out for me to inspect.

It looks like a combination dildo and plug. But when he shows me the other end, there's a hole in it. It's maybe six inches, not thick, but there's a bulge exactly where it's going to hit a prostate. The way the ends curl up, I think it'll also press against my taint.

Bringing my gaze back to Loren, he grins.

"I can't grow my dick, but I think I can give you more and still be inside you," he tells me.

"Just so we're clear, I love your dick the way it is," I promise.

He grins. "I'm very glad about that."

"So…" I start, looking at this thing again.

"It's called a fuckhole sheath," he says, amused. "I put it inside you like a plug and then fuck into it inside you."

I shiver. A trickle of pleasure runs down my spine. "Yes. Do that. Be, uh, slow, though."

Loren nods. I watch as he lubes it inside and out and then asks me how I want him. This man!

"Just like this," I whisper. "I want to look at you. We've never had sex like this before."

He smiles and my stomach flutters.

After his four fingers were inside me, this isn't anything to write home about. Until the bulb at the base. I shudder when it settles into place.

"No condom," I say, already panting.

Loren had just picked one up. His eyes meet mine and I think he might argue. My cheeks burn. But he tosses it away and reaches for the lube instead.

"Come here," I whisper, when he lines his cock up.

He leans over, resting his weight on his forearm so he can still reach what he's doing and look at me.

"You can tell me you want to use a condom. You know that, right?"

His tongue peeks out as he licks his lips. "We will never use one again if that's what you want. It's habit more than anything; I'll happily cream inside you, Oakley."

I shiver. We got tested, just as I told him we would, though I think he was definitely asleep for that comment since he was amused the following morning when I reminded him. Dutifully, he brought me to the clinic and we went through the whole ordeal, including the lecture about safe sex, which he remained completely entertained by. We also listened about all the new drugs on the market to protect against some things, which Loren thought was funny since there's a lot more than just one or two fatal communicable diseases in the world, so why are they picking and choosing which to create drugs against.

His mind is an interesting place to be.

However, we've always worn one after that. Including once we got our results back. I thought that's just how he was comfortable.

"Do that," I whisper. "I always want skin on skin, if that's okay. I never plan to be with anyone else again, so… I think we're safe."

The heat in his eyes, the way he looks at me like he's going to eat me alive, it makes my head spin. To think that you could go your whole life without ever finding someone to look at you this way. Like you're the only thing that exists. The only person who's important.

"If you want," I add when he doesn't speak.

Loren's mouth covers mine. This is the most aggressive kiss he's ever given me. I wrap my arms and legs around him, pressing his body to mine so there's no distance between us. I feel his desire. His need.

Then his cock is pressing into the thing in my ass and my breath catches. It catches and doesn't release as he spreads me wide, pressing the bulb into my prostate. Holy fuck. Holy fuck!

He's slow, just as I told him to be. His mouth doesn't leave me, licking open mouth kisses all over my skin as I cling to him. I swear, I can somehow feel this stretch, his dick, everywhere.

I jerk and jolt as he continues to enter me. Deeper and deeper. I think he's gained a few inches as he makes room in my body for him.

"Loren," I groan.

"Is this the kind of more you need?" he asks.

Tears sting my eyes and I'm ready to write it off as a side effect of the overwhelming invasion that's taking over my body. But really, it's because he's done this just for me. He found a way to give me more of him.

"I love you," I whisper, voice trembling. "So damn much, Loren. Please, please don't ever leave me."

"Never," he promises, burying himself deep. I can't take a breath as my body shudders around this thing in my ass. His dick, specialized. The constant pressure against sensitive nerve bundles has me nearly vibrating. "At the risk of sounding psychotic, I'm never letting you out of my life, Oakley. I will never let you go. You're mine. I will kill anyone who tries to get in the way or tries to take your love from me."

His threat is very real. Remembering that he's killed two men for me makes me shiver.

"Loren," I gasp. "Slowly, okay? I don't want to come yet."

He nods. It's a very strange sensation to know he's pulled out of me and still feeling full. And then to feel that full feeling expand and send a wave of pleasure through my body has my head spinning.

I need… more. I need his voice.

"Tell me more," I whisper. "Tell me you'll kill people to keep me."

"I will kill everyone," he murmurs, his teeth skimming my neck.

He's got me tight in his arms now, which makes movement a little difficult, but since we're aiming for a snail pace orgasm, I'm not about to let him go anywhere. Besides, this feeling is something I don't ever want to lose.

"No one will touch you again, Oakley. No one will kiss you. Absolutely no one will touch this dick or this ass. You're mine. All of you. Only I get to please you now. You only get to come on me—on my dick, my chest, my face, my back. I don't care. You can cover me in your cum. But no one will ever touch what's mine."

"You'll kill them."

"Brutally. I'll tear them to pieces until they're unrecognizable. I'll burn them alive and listen to their screams, carve their skin with acid, run their limbs through a wood chipper, bury them alive."

His thrusts become snaps of his hips, making my eyes roll. "I. Will. Kill. Anyone. Who. Touches. You." Each word is punctuated with a hard jab of his hips as if he brands each word into me—physically and verbally. His words echo in my head. Embedding there.

He'll kill for me. That's how much he loves me.

"Tell me you love me," he demands. "I need to hear it again."

"I love you," I say, digging my nails into his skin. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

I'm so fucking sore when we're done, but I think that's the more we both needed.