22. Oakley

22

OAKLEY

For the next week, I spend nearly every waking moment with Loren. I spend every night with him too. Since my friends and I have the rule that we don't bring people over, I stay at his house. Most of the time, I wake alone. But by the time I get out of the shower, he's back in his bedroom with breakfast.

There's almost always something on the tray with the food. A flower. Hearts made of various materials. Sometimes something silly, like a squishy penis or a little dragon claw. Yesterday, there was a necklace of pretty stones, and I may have smiled the entire day and touched it continuously.

This morning, I wake up to Loren still in bed with me. Maybe because it's Saturday. There's only been one time that he's pushed away from me. I admit I immediately got a pit in my stomach that made me feel nauseous. For someone who claims to not be able to read me, he knew right away. Loren pulled me closer, but just out of reach of touching him, made me look at him, and said the sweetest fucking shit to me.

The thing is, I trust he won't lie to me. I also believe that he thinks he doesn't know romance or love. So all the things he said were the truth as he saw it. Beautiful, sweet, romantic, loving. He's the most attentive man I've ever fucking met.

However, he's a complete fucking submissive in bed. I'm not complaining. In fact, I've found that I totally love it.

Loren said that he's unsure about what to do with a guy. But now that I'm confident he knows what's about to go down before it does and he still naturally lets me take the lead, I think it's more along the lines of this is just who he is.

I don't think he was wrong, though. It took him a bit to find his confidence to truly touch me. There's a part of me that wonders if it had to do with his aversion to touch or if he was unsure how to, or if he was afraid to overstep. We talk about sex stuff a lot. I burn like I'm on fire when I bring it up, but I really want to make sure I'm not pushing him or pressuring him.

We haven't had sex, but I made it clear that I much prefer to bottom. He appears indifferent to position, even when I asked how he'd feel bottoming.

My eyes open and I'm staring at the wall while sprawled across Loren's chest. One arm is secure around my upper back, as the other's s fingers are moving smoothly through my hair. He loves my hair. His hands are almost always in it. It's super fucking cute when he tries to get it into a hair elastic. I assure him it's unruly on a good day for me and I've yet to master it. He says we'll practice together.

"What are you thinking about?" Loren asks, his voice quiet. There's no sleepy tenor to it, so I think he's been awake for a while.

"You," I answer, turning my head to kiss his chest. We're naked. I love being naked with him. The feel of his skin on mine. There's nothing separating our heartbeats.

"You're thinking about sex again, aren't you?"

I laugh, turning my heating cheeks into his chest. In the quiet moments, I always bring up sex. But even if he sounds aloof to the fact that he's definitely found himself in a very different kind of sexual relationship, I don't want him to freak out. So I talk about all the gay things I can think of, just so he knows what's on the table. Or what's not, though we haven't really come across anything that he's opposed to.

Shifting so my body is completely on top of him, my legs fall over his hips. I cross my arms over my chest and look at him with my chin resting over them. His fingers drop to my neck and softly touch the place where my wounds are healing. It's been a treat trying to explain them away. There's seriously zero doubt about what's happened.

My friends have been fucking furious. All I've managed to convince them of is that Loren didn't have anything to do with them there, and he's the reason I'm still alive.

"They're healing," I say.

He frowns. So he's not focused on my wounds, I wiggle my dick over his. Immediately, his eyes flare with heat and I grin.

"You are thinking about sex, aren't you? Vixen."

I laugh. "So… want to do something new?"

"Anything you want."

"No, no. We've been over this."

His smile tells me he's humoring me when he asks, "What do you have in mind?"

"I want to ride your cock," I say.

Loren's breath catches. Every subtle movement in his body is complete reflex. The way his dick jumps. The slight rolling of his hips. And the soft touch of his hand on my back digging in a bit more.

"Are you ready for that?" he asks.

I laugh and sit up. "Are you ? And I want the truth."

"Don't relationships have milestones they're supposed to reach?" he asks. "Some order of things? A timeline?"

"Is this your way of saying you're not ready? You can just say it. I won't be upset."

His eyelids hood. "No. I'm cognizant of the fact that maybe we're moving quickly, and I know I can be overwhelming, and I really don't want you to decide you need space because I might lose my mind if you do that. Sex is a big step, right?"

"You're not overwhelming, Loren," I say. It really irritates me that people have made him feel that way. Shifting, I slide up his body so my face is hovering over his. "I'm never overwhelmed by you. I'm not frustrated or uneasy or scared or put off or anything else that you've said in the last week. Stop trying to warn me about the way other people have made you feel about yourself."

"That's the part you wanted to address right now?" he asks, amused.

"Yes. As much as I talk about sex because I want you to be comfortable in this new territory for you, you seem to want to preempt you . One of these things is already unnecessary."

"The sex talk part, right?" he suggests, raising a brow.

I bite his lip, making him laugh. "I'm serious."

Loren sighs. "I am too. Even though I make people feel that way, I don't feel any particular way about how they feel. I don't feel bad that I make people uncomfortable, Oakley. But I don't want you to feel that way. Just as you don't want me to feel uncomfortable about sex with a guy. We're working toward the same thing, but in two different areas."

Maybe it doesn't make sense, but his explanation makes my chest warm. "Yes, it's a big step," I say, getting back to what he felt was most important in what he initially said. "Everything we're doing feels quick, yes, but… you said you knew when you saw me that I'm yours, right?"

He hums in agreement.

"Then can't you accept I know that everything we're doing now is right? I feel good being with you. I trust you. It's sick that I even love that you've killed two men who were going to hurt me. I don't care that you're not just like everyone else. I'm slightly intimidated by being your introduction into gay shit, but that's the only thing that concerns me, hence my constant sex talk."

Loren doesn't respond. His eyes are locked on mine, intensely staring because he has no other mode. I'm startled into laughter when he says, "Ride my dick, Oakley."

Still laughing, I move up his body so I can reach into his side table drawer for lube and a condom. The condoms are new, I'm not sure when he even got them. They just appeared one day, so I know he's also been thinking about sex.

His hands move over my back and down to my thighs as I feel around blindly in his drawer. I know where my stuff is without looking. Then again, his mouth on my skin is distracting. Especially when his hands move up to my ass cheeks, then gently pull them apart, and his finger presses softly against my hole.

Yep, he's totally been thinking about this.

Finally, I lay my hand on what I need and pull back. His hands remain touching my ass, so I shimmy around and pull his hand back to give him a dollop of lube on his fingers.

There aren't many times I've ever seen this man with questions in his eyes. It's so endearing when I do. I nod and bring his hand around me.

He rarely touches my ass, but I think, based on everything I've learned about him since we started talking, he's been working himself up to it. There's no hesitation when his fingers move along my crack or when the pad of his middle finger presses against my hole.

He's gentle. Always so damn gentle. I lean forward, pressing my forehead into his headboard so he has access to me. His mouth finds my skin and he's kissing me. Licking me. Sucking me gently. His finger breaks through my tight ring, and I release a breath, relaxing my body.

Loren pulls me further up. The next thing I know, he has my cock in his mouth as he nearly expertly fingers my ass. It's calculated, like so much about him. When he pushes in deeper, he sucks me a little harder. When he adds another finger, he distracts me from the burn with my cock at the back of his throat.

I'm fucking panting, my hips rocking all on their own as he works me over. I'm going to be finished before we even get started if he keeps going.

The strength I find to pull my dick from his mouth should be commemorated in stone. I push his hand away. With trembling fingers, I roll the condom onto his cock and get it dripping with lube. I'm so ready. So here for this. I need to feel him inside me.

Shifting my body, I hover over him. "Okay?" I ask, breathlessly.

For once, he doesn't seem to be in the mood to question me or assure me I don't need to ask. He nods, watching me with his intense stare.

Holding the head of his dick in place, I press my body down. He's done a really fucking good job stretching me, so his cockhead slides in. Then I'm bearing down on his perfect dick.

"Oakley," he groans, his hands coming up to frame my face. His grip is tight but always so gentle.

Loren's hips rock as I take his dick to the root. For a second, I pause to catch my breath. Planting my hands on his chest and getting my feet under me, I start to ride.

I've never been one to babble when I fuck, but words seem to tumble from my mouth.

"Loren," I groan. "Your dick is so good. You're made for an ass."

He snorts. His gaze hasn't moved from my face. Neither have his hands.

"You like this? Like me on your cock?"

Loren nods.

"Feels good, right?"

"So good," he says, voice low, raw.

"You're so sexy. So good. Are you good?"

The side of his mouth lifts in a half smile. "I've never been called good," he teases.

"I suppose you haven't. You're… bad. Oh! Naughty. You're a naughty, naughty boy." I giggle. "Like that better?"

He's still grinning, finding me amusing. "Yes. Better."

I ride him until I run out of energy. Then I bring my legs back under me and collapse. "Fuck me, Loren. Make us come."

His hands drop, moving under my legs and spreading them apart. I feel him shift, digging his heels into the bed. I have just enough time to wrap my arms around him before he's fucking into me.

"Oh my god," I groan, gripping him tightly. My head spins, but once more, words just tumble out. Probably slurred. Most likely incoherent. "So good. Do you know how much l love that you protect me like you do? I've never had someone care about me like that. Enough to kill someone. You've killed people for me."

"I'll do it again," he grunts.

The way he's thrusting into me has my head spinning.

"You're born to fuck me like this, you know that?" He snorts again, but it's lost in a grunt. "You do it perfectly. God, you're so good at this. I'm going to come on your dick. Is that okay?"

He groans. "Yes."

"Keep fucking me, Loren. Keep—Fuck, I love that you're a villain. You're my villain. Harder. Please, I need to come."

His hands grip my thighs, fingers digging in. Somehow, he manages to fuck me harder. My head spins wildly. "Come with me. Come, Loren. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Come. Please."

I know when he does. I've memorized the way his breath hitches and the deep tenor of his groan when he comes. My mouth latches on to his collarbone, but his dick keeps driving in. With every thrust, I see stars. Meteors. My teeth sink into his skin.

He groans, his cock burying deep as I feel it pulse inside me and finally, my orgasm rushes out. I'm blinded, crying out, the sound muffled by how hard I'm biting him. I can feel my orgasm in my toes. The way his dick pulses makes my ass clench.

Then we drop. I'm an overdone noodle, panting like a dog. Hell, I'm even licking the spot where I bit him like a dog, lapping up the traces of blood I released.

"Sorry," I mutter.

"For what?" he asks. I love how breathless he sounds.

"You sound super sexy right now."

He huffs. One hand moves into my hair, gripping it tightly. His other moves down to my ass. I feel his finger touch my hole, right where his dick is still lodged inside me.

"You like the feel of that?" I ask.

Loren nods, humming his agreement.

"Me too." I tuck my face into his neck. "Maybe we can stay like this for another minute."

He nods again, his finger continuing to feel the way my hole stretches over his cock.

"I bit you," I admit. "I think I drew blood. That's what I was apologizing for."

"Bite me anywhere you want. Whenever you want," he says. He sounds so relaxed. Happy. I smile.

There's a knock at the door and I turn my head.

"Yeah?" Loren calls and the door opens. My eyes widen.

Myro steps inside and then backs out quickly. "Fucking Christ, Loren. It's okay not to share everything with me."

"You opened the door," Loren retorts, clearly amused.

"Downstairs, bro. When you're finished."

"I wouldn't have answered you if we weren't finished," he says. "I probably wouldn't have heard you. Oakley has some mad dirty talking skills, and I was enthralled. Trust me when I tell you, you didn't exist three minutes ago."

"Jesus," I mutter, face burning.

Myro sighs in exasperation. "Downstairs."

"I think I have to go downstairs," Loren tells me when the door clicks shut.

"That was seriously not something that you needed to share with him," I say, lifting my face to peek at him.

Loren's grinning. "One of my favorite things to do is watch my brothers squirm. But I won't share our sex life if it makes you uncomfortable. I'm sorry I didn't ask first. Though you should know, had he been upstairs a minute ago, he'd have heard you through the door. You're not quiet."

I bury my face in his chest. "You're mean."

His arms wrap around me and he kisses my head. We lay quietly for several minutes. "Are you mad?"

"No. I'm a little embarrassed."

"Don't be. You're quite good. I'm going to swear off sex with anyone else for a repeat of that."

"Fucking hell," I mutter. He's still grinning, and I can feel it when he presses his lips to my head. "For the record, you better be swearing off sex with anyone else, even if I'm bad in bed."

"I already did the moment I saw you, Oakley."

Despite the heat in my cheeks, I smile.

We get out of bed and I make him shower alone, otherwise there's a chance we might not get out of the bedroom this morning. He's dressed when I step into the closet with a towel wrapped around my waist, and Loren immediately backs me against the wall.

The way he keeps a foot between us while still crowding in and towering over me, I think he doesn't want to be touched right now. So I don't. The warmth in his eyes is just… consuming.

"I'm probably going to be downstairs for a while. You can stay if you want."

"I'll go home for a bit."

"Promise me you won't go somewhere without me. Don't leave the house."

Loren's been obsessive since the guy tried to kill me in an alley. I'm not even sad about it. In fact, it's difficult trying not to smile. "Promise."

He nods but doesn't back away. "When I need some space, this is still good," he says before pressing his lips to my forehead quickly. "I like you close, even if I don't want to be touched."

I nod.

"I'll call you when I'm done with whatever Dad wants."

He likely knows what his father wants, but I nod again. Once he's gone, I search for my clothes. I find my socks and pants, but the shirt and underwear are elusive, so I go commando and borrow one of Loren's shirts.

Dressed, I open his door and practically trip over myself when I find Voss standing there, leaning against the window across the hall. For the first time, it occurs to me that maybe they don't like me with their brother. Maybe they don't like me at all.

When Voss smiles, it doesn't look particularly hostile. Still, I'm fucking nervous and shift my weight back and forth.

"He's told you, hasn't he?" Voss says.

I don't have to pretend to be confused right now. I have no idea what he's talking about.

"That he's a killer," Voss clarifies.

Swallowing, I nod. "He killed Daniel and the guy who was going to kill me to protect me," I say defensively.

Voss studies me. It's both similar and very unlike the way Loren stares. "Yes," he agrees at last. "He trusts you with that information. He's killed those men to keep you safe, and you need to keep him safe by never repeating it."

"I won't."

"To anyone, Oakley. Including your friends. No one can know that he's killed those men. I need you to understand the severity of this."

I huff. "You don't think I know?" I snap, irritated.

"I think you trust your friends and therefore you wouldn't see any reason not to trust them with this. But Loren didn't trust you, believing you'd tell them. He trusts you to keep this to yourself. I can count on one hand how many people he trusts. Please don't break that trust."

"There's more people in this house than can be counted on one hand," I retort.

"The triplets count as one," he says, grinning.

I laugh, even though I think he's threatening me.

"He's not a very trusting person," Voss continues, his voice quieter now. "I could get into a lot of evidence to explain this to you, but I have a feeling you already know all that. You're smart and I know Loren's already been telling you the things about himself that he finds…"

"Off-putting to others?" I ask.

He nods, smiling. "Yes. He's more aware than he thinks he is. He'll go to the ends of the earth to protect you, Oakley. The only thing I want from you is to know that you'll do the same for him."

"You don't need to threaten me to keep me quiet," I promise.

Voss looks amused. "I'm not at all threatening you. To do that would put Loren in a very uncomfortable position, and I wouldn't do that to my brother. I'm making sure that you?—"

"I have no intention of sharing it with anyone. Ever. I'll take it to my grave. Not least of all, he's saved my life. More than once, probably. But that aside, I really like him. He's a good guy, even though he doesn't like to be called a good guy."

He snorts. "He really doesn't."

"I'll protect him. I promise."

Voss nods, his smile much more open now. "Good. I hope we get to see you more often than when you're sneaking out of his room or into it."

I flush. "Uh, yeah."

Two things occur to me as I step outside the Van Doren house. One, Voss is very protective of his brother. I really love that. And two, I don't think Loren's killed just two men. Voss asked if I knew he was a killer. Not whether I knew he killed two men for me. His course of conversation changed once I stated what I knew.

Loren is a killer and I don't think Daniel and the guy who accosted me in the alley were his first kills.