13. Loren

13

LOREN

We're turning up our driveway when Jessica Rivera is suddenly there. I'm not entirely sure where she came from since I didn't see her outside. She just popped up out of nowhere and she's not looking happy.

"I don't know what your game is, Van Doren, but stop following us around. We've dealt with a stalker already—don't think I won't call the police," she threatens.

I'll admit, I'm impressed with her venom.

"Hmm," Myro hums. There's a slight smirk on his face as he watches her. Amused? Fascinated like I am?

"You do realize we live here, right?" I say, gesturing blandly to the house. "And you realize that considering the places we have in common, we're likely going to cross paths, right?"

"Don't think I don't see through you," she hisses. "You can play up your innocence all you want, but I can fucking see you always showing up right after one of us arrives."

Okay, so she hasn't quite put it together yet. That's fortunate. I glance over her head at our house. Sure enough, I can see Dad standing in the dining room window. Imry is in the open door now, hands in pockets and leaning against the frame as he watches.

Turning my attention back to Jessica, I shrug. "You can call the police if you'd like. I'll be happy to talk to them."

I wouldn't be happy to talk to them. I don't actually have a reason for being on campus other than Oakley.

"Just stay away," she says. "Whatever you want, we're not interested."

Her dark eyes flicker up to Myro before she walks around us to cross the street. Myro and I turn to watch her stomp toward her house. I'm amused, and a little fascinated as her long hair fans out behind her. It's quite a pretty color, nearly the same tone as her eyes.

"She's got some fire," Myro notes.

Levis is outside, watching her approach the house. They exchange words, though she doesn't break her stride as she disappears inside. He stares at the door before turning his attention to us. I'm not surprised when he heads our way.

"Have you spoken to any of them before?" Myro asks.

I nod. "Him. We've spoken a few times now."

"And?"

I'm not sure what he's asking, so I shrug.

Our conversation ends as Levis approaches. His smile is amused, but I can read the wariness in his expression today. I'd put him at ease over the few times we've run into each other. Whatever she said to him has made his discomfort return.

He meets my eyes, giving me a small incline of his head in greeting before turning to my brother. "I'm Levis," he introduces. "You are?"

Myro grins because we all know that Levis knows who he is. "Myro. Nice to meet you."

Levis nods, his gaze back on mine. "So, Loren… want to tell me why you're really hanging around?"

"You mean besides the fact that I live here?" I ask.

"Yes."

"I'm not sure I have a reason outside of that. Seems a rather silly waste of money to stay in a hotel room when I have a perfectly good bedroom right here."

My half-truths aren't quite cutting it today. Levis nods as he considers me.

"I don't really know what you want me to say. I live here. Shop at the closest store. Buy coffee at the closest café on the way to school. Explore the school and talk to the office as I determine what I want to do with my life." I shrug. "All things we've talked about."

He nods again in that vague way of his. "Are you following us?"

"No." There's no ‘us' in who I'm following. However, I think my answer becomes less believable when my eyes flit to his house.

"How about you try that answer again," Levis says. His tone has gotten less friendly now.

"I'm not following you. Or your girl," I insist, shrugging. "I don't really care if you believe me. Nothing you say is going to change the fact that we're going to be in the same place often. You can find peace in that, or you can constantly look over your shoulder with suspicion. It's your choice how you want to live. One of those options is going to get exhausting."

"Indeed," Myro says.

Levis looks at him, and while Myro has his attention for the next few seconds, I study Levis. Lying to him would be easy enough. I could make myself a little more invisible as I stalk my man. But I'm not going to. I'm working myself up to speaking to him. If I can just find something to talk to him about.

I understand and agree when Noah tells me that talking to a guy is much like talking to a girl. Except, in my experience, I have never spoken socially to a girl for more than a hookup. I'm not sure I want sex from Oakley at all. And thus, I'm not sure what to talk to him about.

But I want him to be used to my presence. It's a conscious decision to be visible. What I need to do is maybe put a little more effort into looking like I have a purpose than I do.

"I don't believe you," he says after a minute.

I shrug.

"If I had to take a guess based on the places and times I've seen you the most, you're tailing Oakley. Why?"

It's on the tip of my tongue to ask ‘which one is Oakley?' but there's no way I could pull that off. So I don't try. Instead, I glance at his house again as I consider my options. Admit it? Admit I'm fucking obsessed with this man I have never spoken to? That I'm entirely out of my element and am unsure what to do about it? What do I speak to him about, exactly? Oakley's friend would be a great person to ask.

I meet Levis' eyes again. My lips part, but there are no words. Glancing up at Myro, I hope he sees that I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to say here.

Myro chuckles. He gently grips my shoulder in support, but doesn't offer anything else.

Sighing, I shake my head. "I don't have a reason that isn't going to sound a bit…"

"Psychotic?"

"That's close, but you're a little off."

Levis' eyes narrow.

"Love at first sight," I say abruptly and then immediately want to take the words back. They sound better than obsessed upon first sight, but I feel like that's a little misleading. Channeling my conversation with Noah is not going to work in my favor right now.

Levis' eyes now widen a little. "Oakley?" he asks.

"Why are you surprised? He's mesmerizing." I can hear the offense in my voice at his surprise that it's Oakley I'm following. The way I bristle makes me say weird shit, though. That's not a cool thing to learn about myself right now.

He shakes his head. Then laughs. "Not—no. Sorry. Not how I meant it. Oakley's one of the best people I know. I'm not surprised exactly, just…"

"You're surprised," Myro says.

Levis laughs again. "Strange turn of events. Why didn't you just say something the other day when I confronted you?"

I frown and cross my arms. "I hate this conversation," I mutter, earning myself laughter from both of them this time, and don't offer anything else.

"Look. He was just being stalked by some creep who ended up murdered, so we're a little overprotective of each other right now, especially Oakley. You're not doing anything to hide the fact that you're following him, which I'm going to decide to appreciate, but you're also not approaching this right, either. Why haven't you talked to him?"

"About what?" I ask, a little desperately. "What the hell do I talk to a guy about?"

Levis tilts his head, and my outburst makes Myro laugh under his breath. Again.

This time, it's Levis who isn't quite sure what to say. I'm expecting him to say, ‘the same thing you'd talk to a girl about,' so I'm relieved when he doesn't respond with that. I get it. It's essentially the same thing. But for me, it's really, truly not.

"Oakley likes flowers and origami. He'd love to get into crafts, but they're very overwhelming to him—he doesn't know where to begin. He has a small collection of rocks that he adds to when something feels significant and a rock catches his eye. Oakley is very loyal to his friends. He's shy and… soft. He loves romance, loves love. More than anything, he wants to be wanted."

I nod, listening raptly now. Finally!

"So help me, Loren, I will kill you if you hurt him."

I'm so surprised by the venom in his voice that I take a step backward and reconsider him.

"I have mastered a lot of fucking ways to kill a man," he continues, more conversationally than his threat, "and believe me when I tell you that the threat of jail time is not enough to prevent me from protecting my friends."

I grin. "I understand that."

Levis nods. It's minute and his stare remains locked with mine. Intense. "I think you do. He's not going to warm up to anyone easily, especially not now, so you have your work cut out for you. You better sweep him off his feet."

"I'm not sure I'm good at romance," I say. "I'm…"

"Not quite psychotic," Levis fills in, his eyelids hooding. "It makes a lot of sense in hindsight."

That's apparently the end of our conversation as he turns back toward his house and walks away. I'm slightly dumbfounded. The entire discussion was a bit surprising.

"I like him," Myro says.

I frown at my brother as Levis disappears behind his front door. "He would have had me figured out on his own within the next week."

"Which part?" Myro asks, gripping my wrist and pulling me toward our house. Dad is still in the window and now all three triplets are in the door.

"All of it," I say. "I think he knows I'm diagnosed and he'll have it named correctly the next time we speak. He already suspected I was following Oakley the day we first ran into each other."

We're close enough to the triplets that they've heard this part of the conversation. They're not happy.

"That's not how you stalk," Imry says.

"I think he wanted to be caught," Myro adds.

"I think I did too. Maybe not by Jessica but I'm not upset about Levis figuring it out," I admit.

"Curious that you now have a girl aversion," Avory teases, grinning.

"I don't have a girl aversion," I say, rolling my eyes. "She's just a little… intense."

They all find that amusing. I'm not sure I agree.

"So? How's the Asian hunk?" Avory asks. "Is his voice as sexy as his abs?"

I frown and glance over my shoulder, as if looking at the house will make Levis appear again. "He was wearing a shirt," I point out. "How am I supposed to know what his abs look like?"

"How do you know what his abs look like?" Myro asks.

The triplets shrug. I've always been rather impressed with the level of innocence they can portray in their faces when they want to.

"Admit it—that house is filled with hot men," Ellory says. "You can't not see that."

"That doesn't answer how you've seen his abs," Myro says, shutting the front door behind us.

"You better not be staring into their windows," Dad chastises as we walk into the dining room. He's frowning at the triplets.

"No," Ellory says. "He practices aikido behind their house. But I think the sexiest thing he does is thrust that damn sword like he's tearing someone apart." He fans himself.

Avory nods and I'm sure they're somehow sharing a fantasy right now. I glance at Imry, wondering if he's sharing it too. But he's shaking his head at the two-thirds triplets.

"But really—is his voice super sexy?" Avory asks.

"Uh… sure," I say, glancing at Myro. I'm not sure what constitutes a sexy voice.

Myro shrugs. "The girl threatening Loren is the sexy part to me. Can't help you there."

They sigh dramatically.

"That was a long conversation," Imry points out.

"Yes, well… we're friends," I say, shrugging. "We've talked several times over the last couple weeks."

Myro grips my shoulder once more and I know he's about to rat me out.

"Our baby brother has not been stealthy in his stalking, which I think he's been doing on purpose. From what I've gleaned, Levis called him out a week ago."

"Two weeks," I correct.

"Two weeks ago, but he somehow convinced Levis that his presence was coincidental, as it would be when living under the circumstances we do—neighbors, etc. However, since Jessica also noticed, threatened Loren with the police, and then stomped away, Levis no longer believed that all his coincidental appearances were quite so accidental."

"And…" Imry prompts.

Myro grins. "And baby brother has made a big stride in admitting the truth to someone, including himself."

"He told Levis that he's stalking Oakley?" Avory asks, bewildered.

"Yes. Also may have said?—"

"Don't," I warn. "Given my options for what I could say, I chose the less crazy explanation."

"Which was what?" Avory asks.

"You have to tell us," Ellory says.

"No," I insist.

"Let's just say that he didn't lie at all. Not even a lie that he hides well. And instead of being pissed, Levis gave him some tips on what to talk to Oakley about."

The triplets look at me with surprise. I sigh, glaring at the four of them. Fuckers. "I'm going upstairs," I announce, and leave the room without a word.

Dad's hand lands on my arm on my way by, and I pause. He smiles. A small, reassuring, encouraging smile I've seen many times in my life. Mostly all those times right after he told off my mother for trying to force me to ‘be like everyone else.' Dad never wanted me to pretend to be anything other than I am.

I'm not sure exactly why I receive that smile this time, but the tension in my shoulders relaxes a little. He gives me a slight nod and releases me.

I often wonder what kind of hell life would have been like if we'd had two parents like our mother. Where would we be today? I'm confident I'd be in jail. I have an outlet for my violent tendencies. But if I didn't?

This weird situation I find myself in right now would likely look very different.