12. Oakley

12

OAKLEY

Registration for next semester's courses is still two months away, but I still look at the catalog periodically. Honestly, I think I should just take the liberal arts degree and stop spending money until I know what I want to do.

I haven't done this because most people never return to school after they leave. Then again, school no longer guarantees you anything—not a job, not better pay, not better treatment. That isn't the world we live in any longer. Now, we're subject to the same treatment and expectations that those just leaving high school and entering the job market are. The only difference is they're not laden with debt.

Fortunately, I won't have the debt to contend with, since my grandmother pays for my tuition outside of grants and scholarships. I'm one of the lucky ones. Most of the people I know, including those I live with, don't have that same luck.

Still, I'd like to live the rest of my life doing something I enjoy. If I have to work for the next fifty or more years, I don't want to spend that time being miserable. The thing is, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I've taken a class in probably every field of study at this point and… nothing feels right. Nothing makes me excited.

I pocket my phone as I step into the store on my way home. It's my night to cook dinner. We each take a night a week and then the seventh is a free for all, which means we either order out or amass the leftovers to clean out the fridge.

Sometimes, we plan ahead and grocery shop together. That had been our plan when moving out here. It's only actually happened like three times. Most of the time, we shop on our way home on our night to cook. The only thing we really buy together is the bulk items that we order online—like toilet tissue and paper towels, dish soap, and laundry detergent. Things like that.

The abrupt change in the air temperature when I step inside makes me shiver. Picking up a basket, I start wandering through the aisles since I have no idea what I want to cook tonight. I'm not the best cook, so I usually grab burgers or something I can throw in the oven. I didn't have to cook growing up, so I never learned more than the basics.

After wandering for a while, I decide to try something new. Dangerous, I know. There's a chance that no one is going to eat tonight. But spaghetti doesn't appear that difficult. Pasta and sauce. I grab a large bag of frozen meatballs—the kind we all really like. And just so we're eating a well-rounded meal, I scour the freezer section for some frozen vegetables. I settle on buttered corn because I think that's one we all like.

As an afterthought, I toss a couple loaves of garlic bread into my basket before heading up to the self-checkout. Once I've paid and loaded everything into a bag, I hike it on my shoulders and turn.

Not for the first time today, I see my neighbor from across the road. My heart immediately jumps into my throat. He's stunning, but there's something cold in his eyes. He rarely has any expression at all—just blank-faced. And when he's wearing his sunglasses, I can't help feeling like someone just walked over my grave when I look at him.

He looks in my direction when he feels me watching him and fuck, the way my insides twist. I can't tell if it's with fear or arousal. He's seriously just… breathtaking.

Honey Bee came home the other day nearly beside herself when she identified the guys across the road as the Van Dorens. The primary family—whatever that means. The older man is Jalon Van Doren, president of the Van Doren empire.

And with him are all six of his children—Myro, Voss, the triplets, Imry, Avory, and Ellory, and Loren.

The man I keep seeing is Loren Van Doren.

I've been telling myself it's a coincidence because what else can it be? I see him everywhere. At home makes the most sense since they moved in across the street. Which, by the way, has made our hypotheses about why six grown ass men live with their father still completely wild now that we know who they are.

Seeing him at the store all the time seems reasonable too since it's the closest to our neighborhood. Even seeing him at school isn't completely unusual; if he's a student there. It's just… serendipity. Right?

With my bag slung over my shoulder, I head outside, back into the heat. I shiver again but not from the cold air. The sudden change always makes me shiver.

The walk home is quiet. Sometimes, I glance over my shoulder out of habit. Still waiting for Jason to appear. I mean Daniel. There's a part of me that wants the case to continue to be publicized. I want to know all the details. The last I heard, they uncovered more than a dozen identities in his apartment, but more shocking than that, there were people coming forward from other states with even more identities he's used in the past.

One man even claimed that Daniel/Jason had been an abusive boyfriend for six months before he just vanished one day. That made me sick. As horrible as it might make me, all I could think was that could have been me. That's what Daniel/Jason wanted with me.

Nope. No. I shove it out of my mind. He's dead. Wrong or right, he's dead and I don't need to worry about him.

As my house comes into view, I glance at the Van Doren house and, as always, wonder if it's haunted. Now I wonder if Daniel/Jason is haunting someone. Hopefully, he's being tortured for eternity; though to believe in hell would mean I believe in something and I'm not sure I do.

The kitchen faces the front and side of the house. I always thought that was weird. Don't kitchen's normally face somewhere that you'd like to look? People spend a lot of time in the kitchen and who wants to stare at the street while you cook or do the dishes?

People who want to know what their neighbors are doing, I guess.

The house is quiet as I unload my wares and put them away for later. Maybe I'll research spaghetti and see how I can make it super impressive. Just for fun.

It's still early, so I head into the side yard with a glass of iced tea and take a seat with my phone while I search for recipes. It isn't long before our neighbors start to come outside. They spend a lot of time outside. In fact, since they moved in, I've noticed a lot of our neighbors spend more time outside.

Admiring the Van Dorens probably. I mean, I guess we do that too.

I'm scrolling through the search results when Loren walks up the road with a bag in his hand. His head is turned this way, looking at my house like we do his. Maybe there are rumors that our house is haunted too.

He doesn't go inside but sits on the front deck watching his brothers. They're building something but I'm not sure what it is. I try not to imagine that Loren's looking this way. He's not. Why would he be? He's one of the hottest men I've ever seen, so I can't imagine why he's staring over here. There's nothing for him in our house.

The Van Dorens are a very interesting family. Jalon's face is everywhere. He's constantly making speeches and donating to some organization or another and attending conferences or rallies and stuff. He's a very public figure.

You'd imagine his sons would be too, but they're rarely in the news or tabloids. I'm not entirely sure how they're kept out of the public eye, but it's rather impressive that they are. There's so little known about them beyond speculation I find them even more interesting now they're so close.

What we do know is that they all work for Van Doren Technologies. We know that the oldest and youngest sons—Myro and Loren—work in contracts. Reading and interpreting contracts, advising, consulting. That kind of thing. The triplets work in the law offices. And the last son works in technology. He's also a fucking genius. There was a huge article on him in TECH STEW magazine a couple years ago. I don't read that magazine normally, but I'm like everyone else in the world—when something legit comes out about one of the Van Dorens, I take a peek.

The only other thing we know about the younger generation of Van Dorens is that the triplets are gay, and Van Doren Technologies makes very substantial donations and loudly supports all kinds of LGBTQ rights. I even went to one of the Pride Parades they sponsored in L.A. two years ago.

The side door opens and I shift to see Levis step outside. He smiles and takes a seat beside me. "Neighbor watching?" he asks.

I shrug. "Trying to determine what they're building while also scrolling for recipes."

"I saw spaghetti fixings," Levis says.

"Yep. Wondering if I can elevate it a bit. Earn some extra cooking points."

He laughs.

I find and tag a recipe, then move on to the next before my gaze drifts over my phone and I'm looking across the street again. My stomach flips when it still feels like Loren is looking at me. He wouldn't be, though. He's just looking in this direction. He's probably watching his brothers. It's not like I can see his eyes from here to know for sure.

"He's interesting," Levis comments.

I glance at him, trying to determine what he's talking about. He's watching the Van Dorens like I am. "Who?"

"Loren," he answers and my heart flutters at his name. "I ran into him the other day on campus, and we talked for a while."

"You did?"

Levis nods. For a reason I can't explain, I get a weird sense of jealousy at that. "Yep. He's been hanging around school a lot and after your stalker situation, I've been a little concerned."

"About me?"

He smiles. "You, yes. But I guess I'm just more aware of our surroundings and who's there. Part of me expects to see him often since he lives across the street, but he's not a student at Eastern State, which I suspected and he freely told me. So yeah, I was a little concerned."

"Why is he there, then?" I ask.

"He says he's been talking to enrollment, but he doesn't have any real sense of what he wants to study. So he can't justify wasting time and money on classes he's not interested in unless they're working toward something he wants to do."

I huff. "Yeah, I get that."

"I know. I told him you had the same issue. But unlike him, you keep dipping your toes into something new every semester, hoping that you'll finally find what speaks to you."

My breath catches. "You were talking to him about me?"

I'm not sure if it's my tone or my words that makes Levis look at me. I flush and can't even think of a reason I asked that question.

"Yeah. But I didn't say your name, I don't think. Though I doubt he doesn't know who you are. He knew who I was."

"But you're you and you're hot," I say. When he grins, my cheeks burn, and I scrunch my face. "Not what I meant."

"So I'm not hot," he denies.

"No, you are!" I shake my head. "Stop fishing for compliments."

Levis laughs.

"I just mean…" I don't know what I mean so I don't finish. "Never mind."

"He's interesting," Levis repeats. "I also think there's something not quite… uh… how do I say this?" He stares across the street, maybe looking at Loren as he contemplates the words he wants to say. "I don't know, exactly. There's something almost threatening about him, but I can't pinpoint why I feel that way."

I shiver and look at Loren again. Still, it feels like he's looking in this direction. "Is he watching us?" I ask.

"See? This is why I approached him the other day. I get this weird feeling that he's intentionally crossing paths with us. And yes, it appears he's watching us too. But I don't really have any legs to stand on since we've been staring at them since they moved in."

That's entirely true. At first it was curiosity about whether they're living in a haunted house. Then it was speculation on why five adult sons are living together with their father. Now, I'm not sure what we're using as a reason to watch our hot neighbors.

"Be careful, okay?" Levis says. "I don't feel threatened personally by Loren or any of them and I don't get the creepy vibe that Jason Daniel Theodore Patrick Whatever gave." I snort at him randomly listing names we've heard he's used. "But there's something about him that makes me a bit wary."

I shake my head. "He's never come near me," I say. "He's always kept his distance. I doubt he'll change that."

Why would he? If he were going to be interested in anyone, it's Honey Bee. The only gay Van Dorens are the triplets. That's why Jalon is active in supporting the community. He's said as much; I've heard the words out of his mouth on live television.

So there's no way that gorgeous man is actually looking at me. He's not showing up intentionally in my path for me . It's entirely a coincidence.

Besides, I recently learned what it means to have someone's attention and I'm not sure I'm entirely into trying that again. I'd like to have a boyfriend. I'd give anything to have someone to love me. But getting to that point is a little terrifying when people like Daniel/Jason are the ones who are interested in me.