ii

Rosella was waiting for Eilis in the hallway. She put a finger to her lips as soon as Eilis approached and indicated that her mother should follow her as quietly as possible upstairs.

‘It was just something I said in passing,' Rosella whispered when they were in the bedroom. ‘Granny was saying how lonely she would be when we left, and I replied by suggesting that she come with us. It was just a remark.'

‘And what happened?'

‘You see, this is what she has been planning all along. She already has her passport, her visa. All she needed was to buy a ticket. She made me show her my ticket and she made me come with her to Aidan O'Leary's travel agency to get her a seat on the same flight as me and Larry.'

‘For how long is she planning to stay?'

‘That's the problem. She told the woman in the travel agency that it didn't matter what return date she put on the ticket. But, for the moment, it says on the ticket that she is staying for a month.'

‘Who is going to look after her?'

‘I didn't know what to say.'

Mrs Lacey was in the hallway shouting to them.

‘Eilis, are you there?'

Eilis and Rosella went downstairs and followed her into the kitchen.

‘Now,' Mrs Lacey said, ‘I'd hoped we'd all be able to fly back together so I went into your room, Eily, to see could I find your ticket. And you are down to fly the week after next and not next week with us. So I took the liberty of showing your ticket to the nice lady in the travel agency and she made a phone call and then told us that she would be able to change your ticket for a small fee.'

‘This is a surprise,' Eilis said.

‘Well, in your letters, you were always inviting me.'

‘But you never said you would like to come.'

‘You even said I had a standing invitation. And I'd like to see where you live and where Rosella and Larry live. It sounds like a very nice place.'

When Eilis went into her room and checked her suitcase, she found that the envelope with the photograph was missing. She waited until she heard Rosella going upstairs and then she returned to the kitchen.

‘You know,' she said to her mother, ‘I'm not sure this is the best time for a visit.'

‘What? I have my ticket booked.'

‘Yes, but maybe we should see about changing it.'

‘Am I not welcome then?'

‘Rosella won't be there, she is going to university. Larry will be at school all day and then he'll either be out with his friends or doing his homework. I have a job and, because I've been away, I'll be working full-time when I get back.'

‘I'm sure I'll find some way of getting through the day.'

‘It's not a town. There are no shops nearby.'

‘Rosella has told me all about it.'

‘I would prefer if you came later. Let us all get settled in first. And there are other problems.'

From her large apron pocket her mother took out the envelope.

‘I know all about the problems,' she said.

‘Did you take that from my suitcase?'

‘I was searching for your ticket and I saw that it was addressed to Rosella. Don't worry. I haven't shown it to her. But I did read the letter.'

‘You shouldn't have opened it!'

‘I might say the same to you. Do you open all our letters?'

‘Of course I don't!'

‘And I won't tell Rosella that you intercepted her letter. I think it would be useful to have me with you when you go back to America. It will be something else to think about.'

‘I've warned you that you'll be on your own in the house for most of the day.'

‘How do you think I live here?'

When Rosella came back to the kitchen, Mrs Lacey said, ‘Oh, another thing happened. Just as we got home from the travel agency, who came here only Nancy Sheridan? You should have seen her, she was sporting an engagement ring. It looked too small for her finger. I don't know how she got it on.'

‘Nancy Sheridan is engaged?' Eilis asked. ‘But she was here for your birthday and she didn't mention anything.'

‘It was announced only today, she said.'

‘Who is she engaged to?'

‘To Jim Farrell. It has been going on for some time.'

‘No, seriously,' Eilis said. ‘Who is she engaged to?'

‘That was her news. You should have seen her. She was out of breath with excitement. And she is engaged to Jim Farrell.'

‘Jim Farrell of the pub?'

‘That's exactly who she's engaged to. We both congratulated her, didn't we, Rosella?'

Rosella nodded in agreement.

Eilis waited until Rosella left the kitchen and followed her into the hallway.

‘My mother must have got this wrong,' she said.

‘No, she hasn't.'

‘Tell me again.'

‘Mrs Sheridan is engaged to the man who owns the pub, Jim Farrell.'

Eilis left the house quietly and walked along John Street towards the phone box. She stood outside while two teenage girls were involved in a long conversation with someone, giggling and laughing and interrupting each other.

If they could just hang up and let her make her call, she could, in a few minutes, walk back home reassured that Jim was not engaged to anyone, least of all Nancy Sheridan.

The idea was preposterous. She would feel silly even asking Jim about it. Nonetheless, she wished she could talk to him now. She felt an urge to knock on the glass of the phone box to ask the girls to hurry up. Even though they had noticed her waiting, they showed no signs of finishing.

What was strange, she thought, was how easy it was for Jim to consider uprooting. His parents were dead; his siblings had left the town. He mentioned no close friends or associates except Shane who worked for him. Eilis knew how the owner of a bar might stand apart, his friendliness as much a function of his job as his ability to keep his distance. He could, as he told her, just walk away, rent out the bar, find a suitcase and be in America the next day. Or, if he decided, it could happen in a month, or six months, or a year. It was peculiar, then, that he was pressing her as though much depended on her making up her mind now that he could come to America.

Eventually, when one of the girls let out a scream of laughter, Eilis rapped on the glass. For a second, they looked embarrassed, cowed, but then they shrieked again as one girl tried to grab the receiver from the other to let their friend know that they would call back later.

By now, Eilis knew Jim's number by heart. When she dialled it there was no reply. She let the phone ring and ring. Since the two girls were waiting outside for her to finish, she was unsure what to do until she noticed the phone book on a ledge. The number of the pub, she found, was listed. When she dialled, the man who answered was not Jim.

‘The boss is upstairs,' he said. ‘Do you have the number of the house?'

‘I do,' she said.

She rummaged in her purse to find another coin so she could phone the house again. As she placed it in the slot, one of the girls rapped on the glass before they moved away, as though frightened, and then returned.

Eilis let the phone ring until it rang out.

She walked back to find her mother alone in the kitchen.

‘Does Rosella know,' her mother asked, ‘that you were once engaged to Jim Farrell?'

‘I wasn't engaged to him!'

‘Well, the whole town thought you were.'

‘I saw him all those years ago when I was home. But I am sure Rosella doesn't know that and doesn't need to.'

‘Well, I certainly won't tell her.'

‘I am grateful for that.'

‘Nancy wanted us to know that she called in specially to tell you the news. She wasn't just passing. And I wondered if you're upset that Jim is engaged. I mean, surely you've got over him after all the years!'

‘Of course I have got over him!'

‘If you had married him, things would have been very different.'

‘I suppose.'

‘It was funny listening to Nancy. Of course, I knew all about her and Jim.'

‘What did you know?'

‘Sarah Kirby told me. I meet her in the shops. She's very friendly. She knows the woman who lives in a flat over McCarthy's bread shop and that's directly opposite Jim Farrell's. And one night late when she went to do a widdle she could see across into Jim Farrell's living room from her landing. And Jim had company, female company. He seemed to be enjoying himself. And who appeared soon afterwards into the street only Nancy Sheridan? And Sarah's friend saw her rearranging her clothes, making herself decent before she set out for home.'

‘And you've known this all along?'

‘I have.'

‘And why did you not tell me?'

‘I made a decision early in life not to be a gossip. And it has always stood to me.'

‘Telling me would hardly be gossip,' Eilis said.

‘You know, I told Nancy I was happy for her,' her mother went on, ignoring what Eilis had just said. ‘What else could I say? But I have my doubts.'

‘About what?'

‘When I go to my reward, I will expect your father to be waiting for me in heaven. How else would I live if I didn't have that to look forward to? And on his deathbed that's what we talked about and it gave us both great comfort. Imagine then if I went and got married to a second fellow! What would happen then? What would I say to your father? And that makes me wonder what Nancy will say to George Sheridan when the time comes. But I said nothing. I told her how delighted I was, even though I didn't mean it.'

Since her mother was so determined to keep things to herself, Eilis wondered if she knew she had been seeing Jim. Someone could have spotted them in Dublin, or observed them at the wedding. And then passed on the information to someone who would, in turn, have told her mother. It was unlikely, she thought, but she could not be sure.

Later, Eilis went back to the phone box which was empty this time. Once more, she called the pub to be told that she should try the house upstairs. But there was still no answer from that number. Again, she let it ring and ring. When she was halfway home, she turned and went back and tried for the last time but there was no reply. She decided then that she should go and find Jim, whether he was in the house or the pub.