39. Memphis

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

memphis

S omething dragging along my hip stirred my brain to life. I usually slept heavily. Nightmares didn’t normally wake me. My body learned at an early age that being able to sleep through constant noise and in the worst of conditions was absolutely necessary. That had carried into my adult life pretty effortlessly. I had nightmares and I remembered them when I eventually woke up, but I never let them pull me out of being asleep. Sleep was more important than fear.

So, this wasn’t a nightmare.

That sensation moved from my hip to my stomach and then it was on my breast.

It was happening in real life, and something in the depths of my brain freaked the fuck out that I was back in the time when I learned to just sleep through the worst of things.

“Get up, Em! Run, now!” I screamed and threw the blanket off my body. I swung my elbow behind me as hard as I could and it definitely connected with somebody.

“Fuck, Memphis.”

I was already across the room before the name registered with me. I stopped just at the door and looked down my body to see that I had absolutely no clothing on. I turned back around to see Utah pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers while he stood from the bed to come toward me.

“Who’s Em, Memphis?” he asked. “Do we like this person, or is that who I owe a returned broken nose to?”

All I could manage to whisper was, “I’m so sorry.”

The knock on the other side of the door right behind me scared me so badly that I jumped right back across the room into Utah.

“You alright in there, hoss?” Indy called from the other side of the door.

So much panic.

I was completely naked. Utah was, too.

We hadn’t had to discuss it with Indy that we’d started sleeping together because it only happened twice. And apparently, we were already to the point of staying overnight with one another, because I obviously fell asleep in this room.

Utah’s chuckle brought me back to the problem at hand. Indy was still standing in the hallway.

He knocked again. “Utah?” Indy tried another time, with a little more concern in his voice.

Utah was forcing a giant shirt over my head the next second before he nearly fell over trying to jump into a pair of his shorts. He stumbled the rest of the way to the door and opened it while I tried to hide behind him.

“All good, man. Thanks.”

“Who was yell—?” he started to ask before he spotted me. I pulled the neck of Utah’s shirt up over my nose to try to hide in plain sight. At least it was still mostly dark in here.

“Ah,” Indy laughed. “So, I’m not usually one to pry into someone else’s sex life, but are you bleeding?”

“You’re absolutely the first to pry,” Utah said. “Especially when it’s about someone else’s sex life.”

“So, was it an accident? Or is she into like secret femme fatale mega domme shit?” Indy asked, standing on his toes to try and see me more clearly over Utah’s shoulder.

“Okay,” Utah said. “We’re all good. We’ll see you downstairs, Indy.”

“But wait,” Indy said while Utah started to close the door in his face. “I still have questions!” he yelled through the door once it was shut. “We’ve talked about this, Memphis! If he’s huge, you have to tell us. Me and Triss want to know. I’ll go text her now, so she knows to be ready for the update.”

“This might be the most embarrassing moment of my life,” I said and crawled right back into Utah’s bed to pull the blanket up over my entire body.

I heard Utah laugh. “I’d say he just does it because you react to it, but that really is just how he is. All day every day. He’s not even trying to embarrass you. He understands nothing about boundaries, and he lives for sex.”

“I’m not going down there. Ever. This is where I live now.”

I felt the bed move down by my feet and I started to sink toward the middle while his body weighed the mattress down. He pulled the blanket down until he could see my eyes.

“Who’s Em, baby?” he asked quietly. “Why did my nose deserve to get busted open twice in the same week?”

“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I didn’t realize it was you. I was—I wasn’t really awake.”

“Your sister?” He asked.

“You’re really not letting that go, huh?”

He sighed and inched closer until he could kiss my forehead. “Whatever it is that you keep trapped behind that wall with you, it wouldn’t feel so heavy if you let someone else help you carry it.”

“Is it tiring to care this much about everyone else all the time?” I asked. “Seems like it’s probably exhausting.”

“Only when the other side does everything within her power to try to convince me not to care that much all the time,” he said and moved closer until he was holding himself right above me.

“I tried to tell you that I don’t know how to do this, Utah. You had fair warning that you shouldn’t want any part of this.”

He grabbed both my wrists and forced my hands over my head before he dropped down on me so suddenly that he crushed all the air out of my body.

“You know, Memphis, I can’t wait for the day that you feel safe with me.”

“I do feel sa?—”

“Safe enough ,” he interrupted, “that I can do whatever I want to fuck the sass out of you. I have no doubt that you’re going to be the kind of woman who’s way easier to get along with in those precious few moments after you’ve been put in your place.”

“ My place ,” I repeated. “My place is always going to be bossing you around. Before, after, during. The timing of sex isn’t really a factor in that.”

“During,” he said right back to me. He shifted until his whole body was on mine, let go of my wrists to slide a hand around the back of my thigh so he could push my leg up around his back, and he rolled us both until I was sitting up on top of him.

“I think I would fucking love to have you boss me around during sex, angel.”

His hands started on my knees and started a painfully slow journey toward my hips while his dick hardened underneath me. Even in a room that was still mostly dark, he was a sight. So much of his body was covered in scars, and he was still flawless. A small part of me wanted to ask about every single one of them while I ran my hand down the center of his chest, but a larger, more cowardly part of me was very much afraid of those stories.

I felt my cheeks heat up when I remembered that he was still waiting for me to do something. I wondered how well he could see my face because I was certain it was getting redder by the second. I had no idea what the fuck he was expecting me to do. Sure, I was a bossy disaster in our regular daily lives. Bossy during sex? Not exactly an option I was ever offered before.

“Utah, I —,” I started to say and stopped myself in sheer debilitating embarrassment.

“What feels best when I do it, angel?” He asked quietly.

“Mmm. I don’t —.”

“Don’t think about it, Memphis,” he interrupted. “It’s not difficult. It’s not complicated or embarrassing. When I touch you somewhere, it sets you on fire. Your body knows without any help from your brain. Let it tell you what it wants from me. And then tell me.”

His thumb ventured up and down the crease in my skin where my thigh met my hip the entire time that he talked just to further scramble my brain and its ability to function.

“Uh, guys,” Indy called through the door again with another set of knocks. “Listen, I don’t mean to interrupt morning sexy time, but Salem is in the chat right now.”

I was off that man as quickly as I could move to search for my underwear while Utah groaned.

“You were right,” he mumbled. “I should’ve shot Nevada when you told me to.”

I ignored him while I pulled my underwear on and considered myself good enough for Indy’s eyes with Utah’s shirt covering me from neck to knees before I rushed toward the door. Utah’s arm dropped down around the front of my body to stop me before I had the door open.

“To be continued, angel.”

He kissed the top of my head before he let go of me so I could get the door open and rush by Indy to find my computer.