12. Live Lamp Love

12 / LIVE LAMP LOVE

Fitz

The flight back home was miserable. I was so angry with myself for pushing things too far and too fast with Sage.

I’d ruined it all.

I’d lost the one love of my life. The one person I knew I was meant to be with.

For every hour of flying, I replayed our conversation over and over in my mind. The words certainly hurt. But what hurt more was the feeling that I had fucked everything up. Everything that they had said, I wasn't entirely sure if they meant every word still, but it had been enough to make me feel like I needed to run away.

The journey home took a couple days and I’d never felt something drag on so long before. Typically, stopping in to see friends along the way was fun, but this time it was just exhausting. Eventually, I had a friend use magic to put me at the end of my forest, and started my flight to the cottage.

When I got home, I planned to curl up in my nest and sleep so that I wouldn’t feel sad anymore.

Trees began to dot the land, rising up in a familiar way. I knew this place like the back of my hand. Or the back of my wings.

I slowed as I got closer to home. I spotted a glimmer in the distance where my cottage sat, and scowled.

I tucked my wings in and flew faster, diving through the trees as I came to the clearing where my cottage sat. I stopped, hovering above the ground.

Below, lamps gleamed, blinking in the darkness. They were in the shape of a heart. And at the center, there were the words spelled out.

I'm sorry.

My heart started to pound. I slowly drifted down to the ground, tears into my eyes as my feet hit the soft earth. The front door of the cottage opened, and Sage came out.

“Sage,” I breathed.

They stared at me for a minute, and then took off running for me.

I met them halfway, our arms slipping around each other as they hold onto to me

“I am so sorry,” they sobbed. “I am so, so sorry. I was scared and trying to drive you away. I really fucked up. I really really did.”

I didn't know what to say. “How long have you been here?” I rasped.

“I tried calling you Monday, but I couldn’t get to you before you left.”

I’d turned off my phone before taking off because I didn’t want to tempt myself into texting them.

I closed my eyes as I held them close, breathing in their sweet scent. The tears wouldn’t stop falling, the entire world blurry as I held onto them.

Sage was really in my arms again.

“I love you,” they whispered. “I knew that I loved you, it's just I was scared that things were moving so fast. And I got anxious that I would fuck something up, and then by being anxious about that I ended up doing so anyways. I'm so sorry, I understand if you don't want me here. And I'm sorry if it's weird that I was at your cottage, I just couldn't get a hold of you, and then I ended up going through a portal and?—”

“Sage,” I breathed out.

I cupped their face, planting a messy kiss on them. I couldn't get enough of them. I sank to the ground, holding them close as I felt my entire world start to heal again.

“I love you,” they whispered.

“Say it again,” I murmured.

A soft giggle escaped them. “I love you. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for panicking.”

“I forgive you,” I whispered. “I’m sorry if I rushed things and scared you.”

“No,” they said. “I mean, maybe, but it doesn’t excuse me from using words to hurt you.”

I leaned back, holding their face as I stared into their eyes. “I rushed things by assuming that you would want to come here. And I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to love me back.”

They shook their head, holding onto me just as tight as I held onto them. “Fitz, I love you. I know that I love you. And I know that this whole entire situation is crazy, but it's fate. The way that you make me feel is unlike anyone else has ever made me feel.”

I nodded, finally feeling the weight on my soul lift.

“We can figure everything else out,” Sage whispered. “Just like you said.”

“We will,” I said.

“I want to be your mate.”

I breathed out. I couldn’t say how long I’d wanted to hear someone say that, but finally hearing it—it was the best thing to ever happen to me.

“Are you sure?” I asked softly.

“I am absolutely sure,” Sage murmured.

They pulled me into a kiss again, a slow one that we each savored. I drew back with a gentle sigh. “The lamps were an especially nice touch, you know. How could I not forgive you?”

They laughed, throwing their arms around my neck. “Well, I do know how you like lamps. It’s one of my favorite things about you.”

“I would like to mate you in the middle of all the lamps…” I announced.

“I think that we could do that,” they said. “Will you be my mothman mate? To have and to hold forever and always?”

“Yes, little flame,” I said. “I absolutely will.”