Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Two days of worrying, sitting in an uncomfortable truck stop café, and a night of restless sleep in a cold car had taken their toll on Lisa. The guest bed looked so soft and inviting too, but she couldn’t get into it yet. First, she needed a shower, and before that, she had to move her car into the garage and bring some of her things in.

It felt like an overwhelming amount of work to do before she could relax, but she knew herself well enough to know that if she sat down on the bed, that would be it. She’d be passed out fully clothed in under a minute.

And realistically she knew she wasn’t actually ‘dirty’. She’d only been homeless for a couple of days after all. But she felt grungy, and she simply wouldn’t be comfortable climbing into the pristine bed without cleaning up first.

She let out a long sigh and dragged her tired bones out to the garage. The button was right where Maya had told her it would be, so opening the large front door was easy. The hard part came when she moved the car in and had to sort through the packed back seat to find her bathroom stuff.

As careful as she’d been, and as much effort as she’d made to pack in an organized way, things had shifted around. There was just too much crammed in to make it easy. By the time she was finally able to retrieve the trash bag full of bathroom stuff, she was frustrated and cold.

At least the landlord had thrown all the bathroom stuff together. The clothes took more effort since there were several bags. She couldn’t even begin to guess which might hold the pajamas, without digging through them. It felt uncomfortable bringing all of her clothes inside, because she wasn’t as confident as Maya that Rick would let her stay.

But the unheated garage forced the issue. She finally ended up grabbing the biggest bag of clothes, and hauled it inside. At least she could search in the warmth, even if unpacking and filling the empty drawers, wasn’t something she was prepared to do yet.

The clothes weren’t as much of a mess as she’d expected. It seemed like they’d upended the drawers one after another, without actually going through them. Her cheeks flushed hot when she found all her underwear and bras at the bottom, but the fact that they were still mostly folded made it a little more bearable to think about strangers handling her stuff.

And…she refused to even think about whether they’d seen the vibrator she kept tucked in that drawer. It seemed ridiculous to be embarrassed about them knowing she had a sex toy, when there were much more obvious and important issues to deal with—but that was just how she was.

Anything to do with sex tended to make her uncomfortable. For her, orgasms were just a physical need, like eating, drinking, or showering. Making herself come helped her sleep. It eased stress.

On rare occasions she might watch or read something, usually kink-related, that turned her on, and then she could quickly take care of it with no mess or fuss. It was so much easier than trying to manage a romantic relationship.

She’d tried that a few times. Not because she wanted to, but because it felt almost obligatory. The dating could be fun at first. Spending time with someone, getting to know them, sharing things in common—that was the good part.

If only it could stay there without progressing to the next step. It was rare that she could go on more than two dates with a guy, before he would start pressuring her for sex. If she was lucky, she might even make it to three, but never more than that.

She’d given in and had sex just to make them happy more than once. It was fine. Well, the messy aftermath was kind of gross, but she just didn’t really love it the way most women seemed to.

It was quicker and more convenient with a vibrator and honestly just… better. She put up with the sex and tried to pretend like she was enjoying it, but they always seemed to know she wasn’t really into it. Some guys didn’t care. They just did their thing and left.

The nice guys were more difficult. They cared that she didn’t orgasm and would keep trying, when really she just wanted them to finish so they could cuddle or leave. It was frustrating.

It didn’t matter if they used their tongues or fingered her. No amount of foreplay helped.

She fantasized about kinky stuff all the time, so in a Eureka moment she decided that the lack of dominance in the men was the problem. Obviously, her sexuality was tied to a fetish and until she scratched that itch, she was just never going to understand the big deal about sex.

So she started looking for guys that put out the Dom vibe, even going so far as to look at online dating sites specifically for kinky people. After several unsatisfying encounters, it became clear that kink wasn’t going to fix the issue either.

She had fantasized about being spanked and submitting for half her life, and it did make her feel all squirmy when she was by herself. But what she pictured was very different from the scenes she’d ended up in. And all of them had seemed like a speedrun to her pleasing them sexually.

They hadn’t even bothered to give her a real spanking first. Although, one did suggest whipping her ass while she gave him a blowjob, and she’d actually been tempted to give it a try. Maybe if he’d waited until their second encounter, she would have worked up the energy.

He didn’t take the no well. “A real submissive would be happy to please me. You’re obviously one of those girls who just like to fantasize.” He shrugged and left.

Maybe he was right, but if she could find a guy who would just spank her, maybe cuddle her a little bit afterwards, she thought that might be nice. It would fill a couple of needs, but no guy was going to agree to that. Why would they? It’s not like they’d get anything out of it for themselves.

Nope, Lisa was meant to be alone, and she’d mostly dealt with that realization. Maya made it harder by constantly hinting that she needed a Dom, and Lisa didn’t really want to explain everything to her. Explaining would mean admitting that she was broken.

For years she’d told herself it was because she didn’t love any of them. That it would be different when she finally fell in love, except she never did. There were a few guys she’d been fond of, but it never went beyond that for her.

Eventually she had to face the facts. Guys just didn’t turn her on physically or emotionally. Kinky or vanilla didn’t make a difference.

She’d even tried dating women, just in case she was gay, and ended up in the exact same place. Women were soft, and smelled good, but she really didn’t want to do more than cuddle or hold hands with them.

Fantasies— those made her hot and bothered. Sometimes certain books would turn her on. She liked to watch videos now and then, although she preferred the focus to be on some kind of BDSM. Sex was okay, but it wasn’t what she was really looking for.

She was fully capable of getting turned on, and reaching climax, she just didn’t want to do it with anyone else.

The really frustrating part was that she was fully capable of love too, but not in a romantic way, not in a sexual way. Everywhere she looked romance and sex were promoted as the end goal. It led her to believe that there was something fundamentally wrong with her.

It was like there were big gaping holes in her heart. Something was missing inside. She wanted to feel the same way everyone else did, but she just didn’t. And that was why she was never going to have a Dom.

What Dom would want a submissive who didn’t respond to him sexually? She could pretend of course, but wasn’t a good D/s relationship supposed to be based on honesty? How could she submit to someone when she had to hide who she was? Besides faking it only worked for so long.

Oh sure, they said BDSM didn’t have to include sex, but she’d seen no evidence of that. Every Dom she’d talked to online had managed to work around to the things he wanted to do to her in the bedroom— in an amazingly short time too. Even faster than the vanilla men she’d dated.

So she’d closed that door, but being friends with Maya did make it harder. It made her crave things she thought she’d given up on.

She wanted what Maya had… minus the steamy romance aspects. Rick clearly loved taking care of Maya. The dominance and the punishment, the cuddles and affection—that was everything Lisa would never have, because she would never be able to fully enjoy all of it the way Maya did.

And if she was being entirely honest with herself, that was the main reason she’d been reluctant to come to Maya for help. While her pride and ego were hurt over having to do it, there was a bigger part of her that knew how hard it was going to be staying in the same house with the two lovebirds.

It was going to hurt, but it wasn’t like she had a lot of options except to deal with it. Hopefully it wouldn’t take long for her to sort things out and get back on her feet. Of course, that was if Rick was okay with her staying, which was a whole different issue.

What she hadn’t counted on, what had never crossed her mind, was that her curiosity would get the better of her, and cause her to do something completely unforgivable.

After a nice hot shower, Lisa slipped into a pair of crumpled but clean pajamas she found in the bag. She padded down the hall and back to the guest room yawning. The exhaustion made every step heavy, and she could barely keep her eyes open long enough to crawl into bed. It was so warm and inviting that she fell asleep almost immediately.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d slept, but as usual it was the need to pee that woke her up. She sat up, yawning, and for a moment she was confused. Even in the dark she could tell something was wrong. The glowing red numbers of the bedside clock were on the wrong side.

“That’s weird…” she mumbled in a sleepy voice. She reached for the lamp, but there wasn’t one. That’s when it all came rushing back.

Oh. Right. I don’t have a home anymore.

She heaved a deep sigh as she sat up. Her eyes flicked to the clock. It was late, and as soon as she poked her head out it was clear Maya and Rick had returned. A sliver of light spilled out onto the floor from their open bedroom door.

She decided to just use the bathroom and go back to bed quietly so she didn’t disturb them. The carpeted hallway helped, but she took extra care not to make any noise. She was on her way back to her room when a series of slapping sounds caught her attention. Maybe someone else would have been confused about what it meant, but any fan of spanking would know immediately.

Lisa stopped, freezing in place as she listened. Her best friend was being spanked, right down the hall, and the door was open. The compulsion to peek was nearly overwhelming. When would she ever get a chance to see a real spanking, live and in person?

It was wrong. She didn’t even try to justify it or make excuses, but she couldn’t help it. She was never going to get to experience it for herself, but at least she could get a quick glimpse into what it was really like.

She turned and padded silently down the hall, past the bathroom, to their bedroom door. It was open less than halfway, which made it less likely that they would see her, but her heart still hammered in her chest. If she got caught it could ruin her friendship with Maya, and land her back in her car.

With so much at stake, a sane person would have turned right around and gone back to bed.

Lisa wiped her damp palms on her pajamas and took a deep breath as she waffled over whether to do it. But the decision had already been made, and she knew it. It only took one muffled yelp of pain from Maya to move her past the hesitation.

She stood back, in the center of the hall, as if she’d just been passing by. It felt safer to watch from there, but she couldn’t stop herself from slowly edging closer for a better look. She wanted to see it all.

Needed. She needed to see it all.

Rick was doing things to Maya beyond the spanking. She could see the way Maya writhed back on his hands, grinding against his fingers as his broad palm slapped down, leaving rosy splashes all over her tan skin. They weren’t token spanks either, but good hard swats.

It had to hurt, but Maya didn’t seem to mind one bit. When he changed his angle, so the slaps were landing across the tops of her thighs, that did get a reaction from her. Her voice went high as she cried out, “Daddy! That’s too hard.” And then she was pulling forward and trying to avoid the spanks.

Lisa’s whole body felt flushed. Her hands trembled a little as she stared, completely locked onto the scene playing out in front of her. Her breathing went ragged, and when her mouth dried up, she realized it had been hanging open for a while.

There was something about watching Maya struggle with the sting that made her head spin. It was clear that Maya wanted it, no matter how badly it hurt. Even when she would pull away, she would rock right back a second later, almost begging for more. And the moans… they were punctuated with yelps, but it was obvious Maya was enjoying herself.

And Lisa was enjoying the show. Her body reacted strongly to the visuals. It was better than any video she’d seen online. It was almost like she was part of it. She kept pressing forward to get a better look and then… Rick tossed the paddle aside, and she was so startled she moved and bumped the door.

It was the smallest touch, but it moved an inch or so and that was enough. Rick froze. His head snapped around. Their eyes met and she knew she was absolutely screwed.

In a panic she jumped back, turned, and fled to the guest room. Like a child she ran to the bed for safety, pulling the covers right up over her head and holding her breath as long as she could. Maybe if she pretended to be asleep, Rick would think he’d been mistaken.

When a few minutes passed and neither of her hosts appeared, Lisa started to relax. Maybe he hadn’t actually seen her. The hallway was dark, and the bedroom wasn’t. The shadows might have given her more cover than she’d thought.

There had been a wide startled look in his eyes when he turned to the door, but she’d been excited and scared. It was possible she’d overreacted to him casually glancing over. Maybe the way his eyes had changed, and his words cut off abruptly had had nothing to do with her.

Right.

She couldn’t really make herself believe it. Even as quickly as she’d sprung away from the door, she’d heard an exclamation as she’d hurried away. He’d definitely seen something. Maybe not specifically her, but something to make him suspicious. It wouldn’t be long before he worked out that it had to be the only other person in the house.

But a couple more minutes clicked by without anyone coming to the door. She didn’t get her hopes up. Most likely they were discussing what to do with her.

They were too kind to throw her out in the middle of the night, so she expected they were waiting until the morning to confront her, and then she’d be sent packing. A slow tear leaked from the corner of her eye. It rolled down the side of her face and made a wet spot on the pillow.

The best thing for her to do, the only dignified thing really, would be to gather up her things and save them the trouble. She sniffled and threw back the covers. Sleeping in her car again was going to suck, but it would be better than facing them after what she’d done.

She forced herself to get out of bed and turn the light on so she could start gathering up her things. Earlier she’d been in a hurry for a shower. Clothes had spilled out of the bag when she rummaged through it, and she’d been too tired to pick them up. Now she knelt down to refold them, before she packed them back in.

That’s where she was when the knock at the door came. She froze on her knees as her insides twisted. A queasy feeling rolled through her. Answering was the last thing she wanted to do.

Why couldn’t they have waited? I would have been gone in a few minutes.

Maybe if she just didn’t answer they’d assume she was asleep and go away. Then she could creep out like the horrible person she was, and not have to face them.

There was a second rap on the door. “Lisa?” Even through the door she could hear the annoyed tone.

Why couldn’t it have been Maya? Her friend was filled with empathy. When Lisa explained everything, she would understand, at least a little. Lisa knew she should answer him, but her mouth had gone dry.

“Lisa I can see the light under the door. I know you’re awake. We need to talk… right now.” The stress on the last word made it clear he expected to be obeyed.

She drew in a deep breath and let it out for a nice slow count of three. “Come in,” she said.

There was a pause of just a few seconds, before the knob turned and the door slowly opened. Too late she realized she should have gotten up first. It felt vulnerable being in trouble and on her knees, and weirdly submissive.

He seemed surprised to find her on the floor and one eyebrow went up in question.

She dropped her eyes back to the shirt she was clutching in both hands. “I was just… packing things up.”

“At this time of night? Why?”

Her eyes stayed down. At the corner of her vision she could see his covered legs. So he’d taken the time to dress before he came down. That explained the delay.

She could have lied, but she really didn’t like doing that. And if everything Maya said was true, Rick was practically a human lie detector anyway. “Well, you’re not going to want me here after… I—” She cut herself off and shook her head.

It took her a second to find her voice again and he just waited in silent judgement. “I’m so sorry for looking. I didn’t mean—I was coming back from the bathroom, and I heard—” Everything she tried to say felt like a half truth.

This time when she trailed off, he took pity on her. “Thank you for admitting it, Lisa.” He paused, as if choosing his next words carefully. “Was it an accident? Were you worried? Maybe thinking it was some kind of abuse and you needed to check on—”

“No!” She practically shouted the word as her head snapped up. The idea that he thought she believed he was an abuser, was so horrifying she reacted without thinking. Only after did she realize that it would have been the perfect excuse to make it all okay. No one would blame her for checking on her friend’s safety.

But it was just as well she’d denied herself the temptation of claiming that. Maya would have known better, and it would have unraveled quickly anyway. “Sorry. No, I know you and Maya have a consensual um, BDSM thing. I knew she was fine.”

He took a deep breath and blew it out forcefully. “Then would you mind explaining why you chose to spy on us?” He leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest.

She rolled her bottom lip under and bit down on it until she tasted pennies. A flash of anger swept through her body. How the hell was she supposed to answer that? How much more of her pride was going to be ground out of her before the week was over?

Only in this case, she wasn’t the one who had been wronged. Out of everything that had happened to her in the past couple of days, this was one thing she deserved. She let go of the anger, and humiliation slid in to fill the empty hole it left behind.

“I don’t really know.” She sighed. “The door was open, and I-I wanted to see what it was like to have what you guys have.” The admission came softly, barely above a whisper and her glance dropped back to her lap.

“I see. I suppose we have to take some—some,” he stressed “responsibility since this would probably not have happened if the door had been closed. However, Maya neglected to inform me that we had a guest in the house.”

Lisa winced. That made things even more awkward, and she was absolutely mortified now. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that you—she said you’d understand, because it was an emergency, and it was okay. I’ll—I just need a few minutes to get everything together and then I’ll be gone. Honestly, I’m just… so sorry for all of this.”

The words came out in a stammered rush, and even as she said them, she was busy cramming things back in the bag. If he hadn’t been standing in the doorway, she might have just made a break for it and left all her stuff behind.

“Wait a second, Lisa. Slow down, take a breath and look at me.”

There was no room to argue in his tone. She wasn’t sure if he was using a judge voice or a Dom voice, but it made her want to obey. Looking at him was the last thing she wanted to do, but the instructions helped to stem the panic and after a few deep breaths, she was able to meet his eyes.

“Now, Maya was right. I’m absolutely fine with you staying here, and I certainly don’t want you sleeping in your car in any kind of weather, but especially not in the middle of winter. I’m displeased that she didn’t warn me… but that’s an issue I’ll deal with directly with her.”

“So… you don’t want me to go?” The hesitation in her voice was at least partially because she couldn’t believe he still felt that way after everything.

“No, of course not. However, we’re going to set some rules. I’ll respect your privacy, and I expect you to respect ours in the future. That means no spying, knocking before you enter a room, and if we don’t know you’re within hearing distance, I expect you to make your presence known.”

He was laying it out like she was a child who had no manners. She probably deserved that, considering, but it grated on her nerves. “I don’t usually go around spying on people, Rick,” she snapped the words and when his eyebrow slowly rose, she realized how rude she sounded.

“I just meant… this isn’t like me at all. I’m ashamed of myself, so you don’t have to worry about it happening again.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear that, because if it does, we will be having a much less pleasant conversation.”

She blinked once and then twice. The second time her eyes stayed shut for a long moment. Had he just… was that a threat? He was a Dom, so maybe he meant…

Her insides flipped and she swallowed hard. “You—you’re not talking about punishing me, are you?” She had to force the words out after several false starts.

He tilted his head, squinting, as if he couldn’t believe what she’d just asked. “No, Lisa. God, no, of course not. You don’t have to worry about that here. Just because I’m a Dominant and you’re a submissive, doesn’t mean I feel like I have the automatic right to discipline you in that way.”

Lisa shriveled inside at the underlying note of disgust in his tone. She quickly looked down. Of course that wasn’t what he meant. “I’m so stupid,” she blurted. “I just—I wasn’t sure how it worked. I mean, I’m under your roof so I have to follow your rules and…” She trailed off feeling like an idiot.

If Rick had ever liked her, he’d certainly changed his mind about her now.

Even without looking up, she could feel the heavy weight of his gaze on her. The silence stretched out painfully, but she refused to say anything else.

Finally he did. “You’re not stupid, Lisa. And your question was reasonable, all things considered. I’m sure Maya has filled your ears with stories about her punishments. And you got to see some of how our dynamic worked in October.” He stopped and cleared his throat. “And I guess a bit more tonight, right?”

Her face couldn’t get any hotter than it already was, but his pointed question still somehow heightened her embarrassment. The urge to squirm like a guilty puppy was nearly overwhelming. “Yes.”

“Maya said you’ve never really had a Dominant. So, I’ll explain. A good Dom doesn’t use the power he has over someone outside of the scene to force them to submit to physical punishment. You need a place to stay, while we sort out your problems. It wouldn’t be ethical or moral of me to insist you accept punishment, just because I’m briefly in a position of authority as your host. Do you understand?”

His tone had been softer. He’d deliberately gentled it while he explained, and that helped some.

“Yes, Rick.” For a second she’d been tempted to call him Sir instead, but thought it might be crossing a line.

“I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. I simply meant if you can’t follow my rules, then I would have to ask you to leave, but I really don’t want to do that, and I’m sure it won’t be necessary.”

She nodded her head, finally able to meet his eyes again. “It won’t be. I promise.”

His mouth curved in the hint of a smile. “Good, then we shouldn’t have any issues. You should get some sleep.” He straightened and then turned to go, but before he’d taken a step, he paused and looked back. “You’re lucky it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to discipline you, Lisa. What you did tonight would have earned you a long hard spanking, and some other punishments besides.”

Her eyes widened and she licked her bottom lip as a nervous laugh escaped her. “Good thing then.”

Rick regarded her for another long moment, then nodded firmly. “Goodnight, Lisa.” He pulled the door shut behind him as he left, not waiting for her to say it back.

The second the door shut all the breath rushed out of her in a whoosh. Adrenaline surged through her body and left her hands chilled. It was at odds with her face, which was still beaming with heat. Maya was even luckier than Lisa had realized.

Rick was dominant but also kind and thoughtful. Nothing like the men she’d run into before. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to actually submit to him. That last… threat? Warning? Whatever it was, it had her shaking.

But it was a tease. He was only telling her what she couldn’t have. Maybe he meant it as a deterrent, but it was even more frustrating than hearing from Maya.