12. Twelve

Twelve

Zack called me early the next morning, and I managed to sound completely cheery. I’d decided as soon as I woke up not to mention what had happened, it would only cause tension, and it wasn’t like it was anybody’s fault, nor could it be changed.

I also thought that for once I’d managed to behave quite well. Luke and I had discussed things, cleared the air, and nothing untoward had happened. I was being a responsible, engaged, grown up. Despite every other torrid emotion, I felt proud about that. I’d grown, I really had, and I was so much more certain about what I wanted – Zack.

Still, I had standards. Just in case I was called back to the hotel I dressed in the sexiest work clothes I could get together. I smiled as I slipped the Guccis back onto my feet, shivering at the memories we’d made in them. I even got an Uber into the office, smiling widely as I arrived early and lurked around reception, wondering if the mediator’s assistant was back.

She was. Meaning I was surplus to requirements. I resigned myself to a day alone in the boardroom with mountains of paperwork and way too much time to think. Half of my brain knew this was for the best, but half was disappointed, let down. I packed the shoes back away later that evening, pained at our brief reconnection.

I felt utterly lacklustre for the rest of the week. Zack would be back on Sunday morning. I managed to meet Hannah on Saturday for an impromptu Christmas shopping and birthday planning trip. She pulled me into a tight hug as we met outside the same Starbucks which had hosted my blind date with Zack. That seemed an eternity ago.

“Hey. Bloody freezing, isn’t it?” Hannah exclaimed.

I smiled as I noticed the thin t-shirt she was wearing under her jacket. “You need warmer clothes.” I glanced into the coffee shop window, smiling as I noticed ‘our’ table.

“You want coffee?” she asked.

I shook my head. “No, just reminiscing. This was where Zack and I had our first date.”

“Aww! I didn’t know. Well, if you’re still looking for a wedding venue… ”

“Ha! Maybe not, hey?” I laughed as she linked her arm through mine, and we set off towards The Arndale.

“So, the holiday is all booked?” she asked.

“Yes! I had to hide the credit card bill as soon as it arrived. The place looks unbelievable. Have you all got your flights booked? Zack and I land at about two in the afternoon.”

“Yep, we’re all sorted. We’ll be there early in the morning so we can get the place ready. I can’t wait to see his face. Do you think you guys will have moved by then?”

I shook my head. “Think it will take a bit longer. I can’t wait. Have you seen the house?”

“Zack has shown me about a hundred times. You two need to fill it up with babies. I want to be an auntie again.” She grinned.

“One step at a time. Can you imagine if we could have everyone there for Christmas next year, though? How amazing would that be?” My voice rose with excitement at the prospect, and it struck me how well I was doing, how genuinely excited about my future with Zack I was. The ‘Luke’ effect was subsiding.

“I’m taking that as an official invitation.” She steered me towards an expensive, designer shop as she spoke. “Can you help me pick a present for Zack? He’s so hard to buy for, he has perfect standards.”

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at her. “Do you think so?” I was genuinely confused; I didn’t see him as a perfectionist.

“Hell yeah! He’s ended up with the perfect fiancée, the perfect house, the job he always wanted, his flash car. He never settles for second best. If I get him the wrong present, it’ll just be shoved in a cupboard,” she shrugged nonchalantly.

“I never thought of him like that,” I admitted.

“You’re perfect to him, you wouldn’t have noticed.”

“I am far from perfect. I don’t know why anybody would think that.”

“I guess it’s just that… Nothing seems like a struggle for you two. You’re both gorgeous, you met in such a cute way, you fell in love instantly. Your jobs are great, you’re buying a dream house that most of us could only ever wish for…” She opened the door to the shop. “Sorry, I sound like I’m all bitter. I don’t mean that. You just don’t see how you two present to the outside world. And that’s before we get to the wedding of the century.”

I didn’t say a word as I took in Hannah’s words. This shouldn’t have been a revelation to me, but… It felt weird. This ‘perfect’ life didn’t sit right with me. I laughed it off and we had a lovely afternoon, but her words had jarred me.

I arrived home laden down with bags and hid all of Zack’s presents. I remained uneasy as I slipped into bed early, eager for his return home. I twisted my engagement ring around on my finger as I imagined how different this bed would be in twenty-four hours. These times apart were frustrating, but the reunions were worth it.

I’d never seen a grown up as excited on Christmas Eve as Zack. I didn’t think he was going to sleep a wink. We brushed our teeth together, his smile infectious as he watched me in the mirror.

“We forgot something,” he said as he wiped his mouth.

“We can’t have forgotten any presents, there are hundreds down there. I’ve never bought so many presents in my whole life as the past few weeks.”

“Not presents. We haven’t left the carrot and the milk out.” He pulled such a cute, sweet face, I couldn’t help but smile. “For Father Christmas, and the reindeer.”

“Oh my god… Could you get any more adorable, Zachary?”

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed a spot of toothpaste from my lips. “I’m worried about Santa not having a drink, and you’re calling me Zachary, getting me all distracted.”

“Well… are you worried about him being thirsty or me being thirsty?” I looked up at him, all innocent eyes, then moved to his ear with a whisper. “It could be an early Christmas present for me…”

His fingers ran into my hair and pulled me tight against him as we kissed, before he walked me backwards towards the tiled wall of the bathroom. My pyjama bottoms fell to the floor.

I bit on his bottom lip. “What about Santa?”

“He’ll cope. You, on the other hand… I could never leave you thirsty.” His hands reached under and lifted me; he tugged at my now naked legs and I willingly wrapped them around him.

He began to kiss my neck, and I banged my head on the hard tiles of the wall as it fell backwards in response, wanting to open up more skin to him.

“Are you OK?” Zack looked worried as he kissed my lips and rubbed the back of my head.

“As long as you don’t stop, I am.”

“You know in the new house?” His hands wandered up my top and stroked at the sensitive skin under my lower ribs.

“Mmhmm…” My fingers were in his hair now, that hair was so, so sexy.

“We need a padded wall…” His voice was low as he shifted me against him. “So that I can do this to you without worrying about your beautiful head getting hurt.” Quick as a flash, he put one hand behind my head to protect me as the other held me against him, then he pushed into me and the most delicious sensations ex ploded deep within. My head bumped against his hand over and over in our joint rhythm as he moved inside of me. Then he slowed, a lopsided smile on his face as he spoke.

“You know… next Christmas… we’ll be married and living in our new house.”

“It’s going to be the best year.” I kissed Zack’s mouth as I shifted, encouraging him to continue.

“I don’t think we should do this next Christmas Eve though, sorry.” He feigned a sad face.

“Aww, why not? It could be tradition. Christmas Eve sex and designer shoes under the tree?”

He smiled, rotating his hips and drawing a moan from my mouth as he rubbed against me. “I’m not telling you if I bought you shoes or not, stop. My point was that next Christmas, I hope we’ll still be doing this,” he pressed me tight against the wall, squeezing breath from me, leaving me saturated with desire. “But in a more delicate fashion because you’ll be pregnant and glowing and absolutely beautiful. I honestly can’t wait.”

“Me neither but, Zacahry… More action and less talk or it won’t happen.” I bit his lip as he rocked against me, delighting me with each thrust. We were so good together. When we were like this I didn’t doubt a thing. Next year was going to be amazing, he was right. We would both be turning thirty, buying a house, getting married, and if the universe was kind to us, fa lling pregnant. What had I ever done to deserve a life this perfect?

Zack carried me to the bed and lay me down, smothering me in kisses. “I love you.” He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly.

“I love you, too.” I snuggled back into him, the picture of happiness. Full of love and Christmas cheer.