Chapter 35

Lily

Ravok is acting weird. Well, weirder – I mean, let's be real, he's a freaking alien. Honestly, what I define as weird has drastically changed over the last few days.

Despite Ravok's seeming preoccupation with his meal, I can feel the weight of his gaze on me each time I look away from him. I wish I knew what was going through his strange alien mind. He doesn't seem mad or upset, but something is clearly weighing on him. Perhaps he is just worried about the state of his ship, and I am writing silly, hopeful stories in my head. Although the intensity of his gaze is making it hard to concentrate on my lunch.

It's amusing and also flattering to watch Ravok treat my plain-Jane chili as though it's a rare delicacy. He shovels it into his mouth like it's the last meal he'll ever have, or as if it might sprout legs and make a run for it. If he's not stealing glances at me, he is focused unwaveringly, his stark white eyes zeroing in on every chunky, tomato-rich spoonful.

Needing to break the silence, I drop my spoon into my still mostly full bowl and turn to Ravok. "So, I was thinking that I could clean the garage after we finish our chili. I can't really help with your ship's electronics, but I can make the space you're working in not so unpleasant," I propose, doing an arguably poor job of hiding my real desire. If I'm honest, I'm just looking for an excuse to spend as much time with Ravok before he inevitably leaves my planet behind as I can.

He stops mid-chew, those white eyes bright as they meet mine, setting my heart pumping to a galloping rhythm. He grunts in agreement, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth – pleased with my offer, I think.

I pick up my spoon and force myself to eat – I get low blood sugar sometimes and don't want to risk getting woozy later. As we eat, a satisfying air of contentment hangs between us. Once we're done eating, I start to gather up the dishes. Ravok jumps up, rushing to assist.

I can't help but enjoy the feeling of domesticity humming between us. There's such simplicity and familiarity in the process of cleaning up together. As Ravok stacks the dirty plates and bowls, I put the leftovers into Tupperware. Then together, we rinse and put the dishes into the tiny, ancient dishwasher. Then I hand wash the few pots that won't fit into the machine. I smile to myself as I watch Ravok dry the pot. We are a strange couple – a human woman and an alien – doing the dishes, just as any other couple would after a shared meal. I know I'm writing stories in my head, but I can't help myself. I've never needed the big grand gestures of love – I revel in the small stuff, in the shared domesticity and small, thoughtful actions. I'd much rather have a guy pay attention to the brand of coffee I like than buy me something expensive that I don't need.

Once we finish clean-up, Ravok heads to the garage, eager to get back to work on his spaceship. I watch him go, the room becoming a tad bit lonelier in his absence. I start hunting for cleaning supplies.

Armed with a bucket of warm water and my gathering of supplies, I make my way out to the garage. The day has subtly transitioned towards the afternoon, the sun hot and high in the sky, radiating stuffy warmth into our makeshift workshop.

As I step into the garage, I find Ravok standing bare-chested, his hoodie lying crumpled on a nearby workbench. Thankfully, his back is to me so he can't witness the ravenous look on my face. The muscles beneath his silvery skin ripple and flex as he hovers over a panel of his spaceship, deep in concentration. His exposed torso glistens with a slight sheen of sweat under the glare of the lone lightbulb hanging overhead. The musty air is tinged with a hint of the electrifyingly unique aroma that is purely Ravok. Heat swarms through my lungs that isn't just from the hot, stuffy garage.

Ravok turns and smiles as I set down all my supplies. "Do you want some help?"

"Nah, you concentrate on your ship while I deal with the dust. If I get in your way, just let me know."

"You're never in the way, Leelee," Ravok says. I have to blink several times because his words almost make tears well up in my eyes. These are the sorts of sentiments I always wanted from Marcus but never got after the initial honeymoon phase. Why do I have to meet the kind of guy I always wanted and he's leaving the planet soon?

After giving Ravok a wide grin so he won't realize I'm feeling emotional, I turn away and open all the windows to create a breeze. Then I get to work. I decide to get rid of the dust first, then deal with the rest.

The first time our shoulders brush against one another, an electrifying shock zips through my body. I pretend not to notice as every nerve in my body comes alive. Ravok continues his task, focused on some rusty tool he's dug out of a toolbox's depths. My heart thunders in my chest, and against my better judgment, I yearn for another accidental touch, another spark.

Despite my best efforts to keep it settled, the dust I'm kicking up dances around us in the narrow beams of sunlight filtering in through the dirty windows. I wipe a layer of grime off an old workbench with a rag, releasing a musty scent that makes me want to sneeze.

The garage feels much smaller than it is, and Ravok seems to take up every bit of space. Each time we brush past the other, the touch tightens the coils of desire and need inside me. This is like a delicious kind of torture.

We are like two opposite poles of a magnet, the attraction between us an unseen, undeniable force. I can't shake this strange feeling nor bring myself to confront it. One thing is clear, though – our dance of accidental brushes and lingering glances is leading us down a road that will end in only one way. There's no way Ravok's not aware of the sexual tension that is as thick in the air as the stifling heat.

We spend hours in this dance – the soft touches, the aborted glances. I watch enraptured as Ravok works on his spaceship, his metallic skin glistening in the faint light leaking through the now-clean windows. His eyes are lit with intense focus, the glow eerily beautiful, and the muscles on his rugged arms flex in sync with each precise movement. The room buzzes with a charged atmosphere, a delicious tension brewing between us, and for a fleeting moment, I revel in anticipation. I'd forgotten what it felt like – the charged feeling of truly wanting someone and being wanted in return.

Suddenly, Ravok lets out a noise of vexation, pulling me out of my imaginings. The deep sound rumbles through the room, causing my heart to lurch. I quickly shake off my reverie, approaching him with a concerned look. His strong brows furrow in evident frustration as he straightens up, his gaze fixated on something in his hands. Sitting on his open palm is a sharp metal fragment with a rainbow sheen that reminds me of an oversized computer chip.

"What's wrong, Ravok?"

My voice seems to break his trance, his glowing gaze shifting to meet mine. "Leelee," he begins, his voice deep and edged with worry, "I need telrinite… It's an alloy that I need to repair some damaged components in my ship."

"Telrinite," I repeat. I shrug because I've never heard of it – who knows if that's because it doesn't exist on Earth or because it has an entirely different name in my language. I feel a pang of helplessness claw its way into my chest.

Ravok gives me a determined look. "I will program my ship to scan the area for the alloy. Maybe we'll get lucky and find some."

"How long will that take?"

Ravok shrugs. "It depends on how far away any source of telrinite is. It will probably take a few hours, if not more."

"Okay, that sounds like a plan. Once you set your ship to scan, let's take a break, Ravok. I can heat up some more of the chili. We can get something to eat and drink and plan our next steps. We'll figure this out, even if we can't find the alloy you need," I assure him, my words echoing in the quiet room. "Besides, both of us could use a shower."

Ravok hesitates for a moment, then nods, setting aside the defective piece of alien technology. I can't help but hope that our shared dinner might serve to lighten his spirits.

The hot waterfrom the shower works wonders on my stiff muscles, washing away the dirt, sweat, and, to some extent, the fatigue of the day. As I step out, wrapping myself in a fluffy towel, I feel lighter. I tie my wet hair up in a messy bun and pad into the main room to the sight of a very grimy Ravok.

He stands frozen by the doorway, his graphite skin decorated with dirt and dust. His clothes are almost as bad as mine were, stained with sweat and dirt.

My heart pangs with sympathy as I say, "Ravok, the shower is available if you want and there's still plenty of hot water."

His eyes light up at the suggestion. I guide him towards the bathroom and hand him a fluffy towel and a white sheet I find in the linen closet. "How ‘bout you give me your clothes, and I will wash them for you. You can wrap this sheet around yourself while they get clean since you don't have any spare clothes," I suggest.

Ravok's eyebrows furrow as he fingers the sheet. "I have a spare spacesuit in the ship I could wear if you don't want to wash these," he gestures at the hoodie and sweatpants he's wearing. "It's meant for interstellar travel, but I could grab that, so you don't have to rush cleaning my clothes for me."

I blink at him in surprise and state, "You don't need to do that. Plus, if anyone spots you, a spacesuit will draw too much attention, I think it's better to keep you in regular human clothes, just in case." Ravok nods in agreement, a pleased smile spreading across his face.

A moment after the bathroom door closes, separating me from Ravok, the sound of the shower starts. Then the door creaks slightly open, and a silver hand reaches out, dirt-streaked clothes balled up in his broad palm. When I take them, I hear a quiet "thank you" before the door closes again. I go to get the washer started, my heart echoing with the foreign rhythm of an alien ‘thank you'.

Pulling the containers out of the fridge, I prepare two bowls with the last of the chili. While it heats up, I pull out two of the largest glasses I can find and fill them with ice water. After all the hot, hard work today, I don't want either of us to get dehydrated.

I'm poking around the fridge, wondering if I have enough lettuce and veggies to make a salad, when I hear the sound of the shower turning off. My hands still for a moment, caught on the mental image of Ravok naked in a steam-filled bathroom. I shake my head at my naughty thoughts and re-apply myself to the study of the fridge's contents.

A few minutes later, Ravok emerges – clad only in the sheet.

The sight of him stops me dead in my tracks. With the sheet wrapped around his rugged form, he walks around the corner to join me in the kitchen, completely unaware of the devastating effect he is having on my composure. My heart flutters wildly in my chest, and I have the urge to fan myself. Droplets of water still glisten on his metallic skin in the soft, low lighting. Holy moly. He looks like a sexy toga-clad Roman emperor straight out of a fantasy novel.

Julius Caesar, eat your heart out.

I feel like I need to check the corners of my mouth for drool.

Thankfully, the ding of the microwave pulls my attention away from staring at Ravok like a dog with a bone.

When I grab the bowls to bring to the table, Ravok rushes over to help. Between the two of us, we balance bowls and cups as we make our way to the small rustic table that rests against the kitchen wall.

As we settle down to eat, I can't help but let my gaze wander a little. My eyes are drawn to the scattering of precise scars that trek across Ravok's broad chest. The sight shutters my growing desire like the final curtain on a play.

A tight knot resides in the pit of my stomach as I try to keep my wandering gaze focused fully on my meal. I take a bite of my chili, but it feels like it gets stuck as I try to swallow it. My throat feels constricted from nerves and dread.

"Ravok," I finally force myself to begin after taking a sip of water to wash down the bite, glancing up at him from under my lashes, "The scars on your body… did… did humans –my people – do that to you?" The words tumble out in a rush, sharp like shards of glass slicing through the quiet as I point at a huge scar running the center line of his chest.

"Yes," he answers simply, his gaze meeting mine, devoid of emotion. His response is a gut punch. Guilt and horror take root in my heart, done by the simple fact that my people have marred this magnificent alien being.

"Oh my god, Ravok. I'm so, so sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for, Leelee. You didn't do this to me," he says, his voice a low rumble that's remarkably comforting.

"I know. But… my god! Humans suck. This is why you can't stay on this planet. It is way too dangerous. What those assholes did to you… it's horrific and cruel. You should have never been hurt like that."

"My people – the Cryzorians – are just as dangerous as yours. More so, actually. I don't want you to think less of me, but my people believe that they are superior to all other species in the universe. The Cryzorians' ultimate plan is to conquer all of known space. We are taught from the moment we are born that Cryzorians are destined to rule over everything."

"Might makes right," I murmur. When Ravok gives me a questioning look, I explain, "Many humans throughout history have believed that power and strength meant they got to rule over the less powerful, even if they were cruel and amoral." I take a deep breath, my fingers brushing along the grain of the table. "This belief," I continue, "has led humanity down some very dark paths. Wars instigated for power, lives extinguished for no reason, actions so cruel they defy explanation, whole civilizations crushed under the tyranny of conquest. It's happened over and over again on this planet. From Genghis Khan to Hitler to colonialism, so many have suffered. You can't trust most humans, Ravok. Don't get me wrong – there are so many good people out there. But there's no real way for you – or me – to tell who you can trust."

Ravok's scars are the living proof. My heart aches at the thought of what he must have endured, a lump forming in my throat.

"Do you want to tell me what happened? It's okay if you don't want to talk about it."

Ravok settles one of his hands over mine. The touch is enough to pull me out of my swirling, guilt-filled thoughts. His eyes, glinting with understanding and kindness, shake me to my core, meet mine. "Leelee, when I first crashed on your world, your humans did not understand my quick healing. Most of these scars were the result of the scientists seeking to decipher how I can heal so quickly. They figured out that that I had nanites in my bloodstream and wanted to find a way to recreate them for humans."

"Nanites?"

"Nanites are microscopic cybernetic robots coursing through my veins that heal injuries. They also have other functions like letting me interface with my ship. The humans that captured me left me with these scars." He runs his fingers over one of the neat scars on his forearm, a testament to the violence he has endured, "They wanted to figure out how I healed so fast. I commanded my nanites to deactivate when they leave my body, so those scientists didn't get any valuable information from my blood or any of their experiments."

I blink, my mind rebelling at the image of what Ravok has endured. I stare at his chest, tracing my eyes over all the thin, neat scars. Those asshole scientists must've cut into him dozens and dozens of times. It makes me feel murderous. His body was cut open and then stitched back together. I somehow doubt they cared much for his comfort or pain levels. The scars are evidence of his strength and resilience. If it had been me, I would've never trusted another human ever again. The fact that Ravok is sitting here sharing a meal with me shows what kind of person he is – someone extraordinary. He seems unbothered by the scars covering his skin. They certainly don't detract from his devastatingly good looks but seeing them are stark reminders of the gruesome experiments he endured, conducted by the very beings I shared genetics with.

The knot in my stomach doubles in size. I knew Ravok's arrival had been rough but hearing him talk about being experimented upon makes me want to throw up my chili. "Ravok, I… I'm sorry," I whisper, his confession hitting me harder than I expected, "I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Humans… we are not all like that, I swear."

He nods, looking at his calloused hands. He seems lost in thought, whether remembering what was done to him or thinking about my words, I don't know. "Ravok," I say, catching his attention, "We need to fix your ship, and get you back into space. You're not safe here." His eyes meet mine and, for a moment, all is silent as our entwined fates hang in the balance. "I can't stand the thought of you getting captured again. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. Humans are the worst," I stutter, my gaze dropping. His large hand lifts my chin, coaxing me to meet his eyes once again.

His eyes glow brighter in the dimly lit room, softening as he looks at me. "Not all humans." A heavy silence stretches between us, disturbed only by the sounds of the forest outside our windows.

A new idea solidifies within me – one I had rejected earlier. I can't even believe I'm contemplating it; I know Ravok has to leave this planet, but maybe he doesn't need to do it alone. "When you leave, maybe I could come with you? I mean, even just for a little bit before you bring me back?"

"Leelee," Ravok's gravelly voice rings out, his white eyes locked on my face. I'm surprised by the sorrow I see in them, "I wish I could take you with me, but it's impossible. Most of my time is spent locked in cryo-freeze between destinations. The cryo-chamber can only hold one individual. Plus… my mission…" Ravok stops and swallows thickly. "Leelee, I'm a Cryzorian Outrider – my mission… it's to find planets and asteroids filled with resources. When I do, I am supposed to drop a beacon for my people to capitalize on those resources." He looks away, his gaze dropping to our joined hands as misery and shame fight for dominance on his face.

He's opened himself up, revealing a guilt that weighs heavily on his alien heart. I turn my hand in his grip, pressing our palms together and lacing our fingers together. I squeeze his hand to let him know that I'm still here with him.

"Ravok," I breathe, gripping his hand tighter. "How many… how many worlds have you found for your people?" My voice trembles slightly, the question out in the open, as raw and soaring as my beating heart.

His hand clenches in my grip, his luminous eyes wavering before he answers, "I have found two worlds that were resource-rich for my people. Neither planet was inhabited by sentient beings but once I discovered them and notified my people… I don't know what became of them. I never thought to check." His deep voice is barely above a whisper, and yet it echoes in the small cabin.

He's found two planets. No anger, no accusations, just quiet understanding. He is as much a victim of his upbringing as a perpetrator of his people's missions.

"You feel bad about it?" I ask, my voice soft, but laced with genuine curiosity. I want – need – to understand him, to bridge the gap between our worlds.

"I do now," Ravok finally admits, his voice strained. A soft sigh escapes him as he meets my gaze, the faint traces of guilt mirrored in his translucent eyes.

"Ravok," I begin, my voice barely above a whisper in the quiet of the cabin. "You've nothing to feel bad about. You are a victim of your circumstances – with what you were raised to believe and also the crash landing and getting captured. None of it is your fault."

His eyes meet mine, but he doesn't respond. I can see a storm brewing there, a confluence of emotion for which I've no proper name. Drawing in a deep breath, I press on with my questions.

"What will you do once you leave this planet? Your people… will they come here?" I can't help the slight tremor in my voice as I say the words. His presence in my life has been an unexpected thrill, yes, but the thought of more aliens descending upon Earth is enough to make my stomach curdle.

A pause hangs in the air before he finally breaks it. "I will mark the entire solar system as resource-poor and uninhabitable."

His gaze is steady on me, solid and reassuring, and I can't help but feel my heart flutter at the promise that lies within his words. "I give you my vow – no one from my world will ever find your planet. Not if I can help it," he continues, his tone unwavering. "I owe you, Lily."

The words resonate in the cabin's stillness, filling every corner and etching themselves into the air.

"But… will I ever see you again once you leave?"