Chapter 34

Ravok

The garage's stale air and dust are making me feel itchy and claustrophobic. After spending years inside my ship and the extensive training of my youth, I'm surprised to feel so uncomfortable and tense from just a cramped space covered in a bit of dirt. All these years, I had believed my rigorous training had eradicated any traces of claustrophobia, but it seems such phantoms of the past are not so easily scrubbed from one's psyche. The walls of the garage are closing in on me in a way that they never have before. The dust on the tools, ancient compared to what I'm accustomed to, makes my skin itch. I need air – a crisp, fresh breeze that can be found only a few feet away.

I make my way towards the exit, sliding the worn wooden door open with a heavy rasping sound, and find myself in the green grassy space between the garage and Leelee's humble cabin. I stare at the rustic, raw-wood dwelling that contains Leelee with a fondness filling my chest. I'm starting to appreciate the charm of her home, perhaps because of the state of the garage in comparison or perhaps because of the human female inside it.

Standing outside, the taste of the breeze is earthy and sweet. A touch of warmth from the sun's bright glow caresses my skin, settling a sense of calm over my restless state. I turn my attention back to the cabin, wondering what Leelee is doing right now. I miss her even though it has been less than an hour since I last saw her.

Faint and melodious, Leelee's voice emanates softly through a window, catching the wind like a siren's song. A slow grin spreads across my face as I assume she is talking to Mango again. I've noticed that Leelee often speaks to the animal as if she believes the creature understands her and will answer.

I'm about to turn away when I hear Leelee yell, "Zee!" in an aggravated tone. My translator is unable to decode the word she said, so I am lost on what is upsetting her. I growl under my breath, ready to intervene on her behalf. No one should upset Leelee, not while I am here to protect her. I step closer to the house and spot her standing in the kitchen talking into her communication device. There is no immediate threat, and there is nothing I can do to assist. My aggression whooshes out of my chest, leaving me feeling deflated. I wish I knew what upset her so I could find a way to cheer her up.

A pang of curiosity beats through me, but I halt, not wishing to invade her privacy. As I walk away, I hear Leelee say, "Fine! There's this guy—". The words freeze me mid-stride. The only person she could be talking about is me. I have a micro-second where I wonder if Leelee is betraying me, but I dismiss it before the thought fully forms. I am utterly certain that she would never be disloyal to me. Plus, her voice sounded… bashful. Hopeful, maybe?

I inch closer to the house, holding my breath to overhear her words, curious about what Leelee is saying. Wait… Did she say… that the male is hot? I'm almost certain she is talking about me. I don't know what a ‘smoke show' is, but it sounds complimentary.

I can't understand everything she says, but the more Leelee talks, the more I realize she is saying she is attracted to me. She thinks that I am special.

The woman that Leelee is talking to – Aunt Zizi – asks her if the man is local. I hold my breath, wondering what Leelee is going to tell her. It takes me a moment, but when the name ‘Rav' leaves her lips, it's as if time comes to a screeching halt. My mind races. Any momentary doubts that she is talking about me evaporate like dew on the desert sand.

"Enjoy the time you have together. Isn't that what any of us can really do in life? Who knows what the future holds? Maybe you'll find a way to work it out. Make the most of now, Lily. That's all that matters. Even if it doesn't work out, you don't want to look back one day and wish you'd jumped when the chance was presented." The woman urges Leelee, her voice kind and loving. I suddenly understand where Leelee might've gotten her sweet nature. I wonder for a moment if this is Leelee's mother, but my translator tells me what ‘aunt' means. On Cryzor, we do not track maternal lineage, so an ‘aunt' is somewhat foreign.

"You're right as usual, Zizi. Even though it probably can't last, I want to explore this attraction. And I think he might feel the same."

Shock ripples through me at Leelee's words, setting my nerves alight in a thrilling dance between hope and disbelief. The air in my lungs turns into fire as my mind struggles to understand what I've just heard.

I stand rooted to the spot, my eyes fixed on the cabin.

Does she want me as much as I desire her? It's an intoxicating thought, and a knot of emotions clench in my gut.

Leelee. My beautiful human rescuer, my anchor in this strange world. She's not merely assisting an injured alien; she wants… me. Unnamed feelings bubble to the surface of my mind, scorching in their intensity. Even with all my emotional strength and my world's order, nothing has prepared me for this. A thrilling shockwave rushes through me, a sense of fear, hope, desire, and a whirlwind of emotions I can't seem to place correctly.

Silently, I pull back from the window, not wanting to intrude more into her private conversation than I already have. It's not my place, even though my heart beats wildly with unanswered questions.

I need to think.

As if piloted by an unseen force, my legs pull me away from the cabin, my heart still beating to the rhythm of Leelee's name. In a haze, I navigate through the dense forest, not paying attention to where I'm heading, each step a resounding echo to the beats of my heart – Leelee, Leelee, Leelee. Nothing else seems substantial in the face of the chaos swirling within me – a storm engulfing all reason and order in its tumultuous waves.

The untamed cadence of my thoughts only comes to a halt when I find myself at the lake's edge. I look down to find icy water lapping at my feet with smooth pebbles under the soles of my feet. The frigid cold seems distant, overshadowed by the phantom warmth that lingers on my lips – the imprint of Leelee's lips on mine.

I walk further into the water, a strange peace falling over me as the coolness envelops my ankles. I stare out at the serene expanse of the lake, its tranquility contrasting sharply against the storm within me. Yet all I see is Leelee's face reflected in the shimmering waters: the sparkle in her eyes, the soft wave of her hair, her delicate features softened by the flickering light. Each ripple in the lake is a memory of our shared moments, our earlier embrace, our kiss. All around me, in every drop of water, she exists.

Her scent clings to my skin and clothes, a sweet melody that plays on my senses, refusing to be ignored. My mind's eye paints a captivating portrait of her, filling me with a silent craving. I can almost feel the tender touch of her fingers on my skin, the warmth of her breath against my chest.

Like a dam bursting, the memories of our earlier encounter flood my mind all at once. Her softness against my body, the tremble of her fingers as they explored my skin, and the taste of her imprinted on my tongue. It all washes over me, wave after icy-sweet wave, my core heated up by thoughts of her as my skin prickles from the cold water lapping against my ankles.

I know that I want Leelee – desperately. Her words make me think she feels similar. However, would she feel the same if she knew my true nature and my race's relentless quest to subjugate every planet we encounter? I suspect not. Plagued with a gnawing worry, I pace along the water's edge.

My instinct screams at me to hide what my initial intentions were when I came to this planet.

Would Leelee still look at me with those soft, adoring eyes if she knew the truth? What would she think if she knew that my arrival on this planet was intended as the first step in domination? Even though my resolve has changed, could she ever see past my original mission?

I halt my pacing, my gaze falling on the lake's placid surface. This planet is a world I've come to appreciate, mainly because it houses Leelee. Looking at the beauty before me, I am glad my people do not know of its existence. I never got the chance to launch the beacon that would call them here.

The thought of deceiving Leelee makes bile rise inside me. Our language barrier has protected me from the consequences of my mission until now. The idea of lying to her leaves a foul taste in my mouth. I want to tell Leelee everything – I want her to accept me as I am, but that seems foolish.

How can she accept an individual with a past like mine – a behemoth capable of unspeakable destruction? It seems impossible, yet hope digs its way into my soul; it yanks at my insides, gripping my heart in a way I've never felt before, never thought possible. If anyone could have a big enough heart to forgive me, it has to be Leelee.

The future of us lies with Leelee as much as it does with me. And as apprehensive as it makes me, presenting her with my truth is the only acceptable path forward. Resolving to brave whatever storm my confession might raise, I take one last look at the quiet lake before turning to face the most intimidating encounter of my existence – a heart-to-heart with my earthling savior.

Her voice, shrill and saturated with fear, pierces the quiet forest air. "Ravok!" she screams. Hearing her terror, my heart clenches like a fist.

"Ravok!" she cries again, her voice a sharp, stabbing pike through the day's tranquility. I feel a prickling sensation ignite at the base of my spine, and without another thought, I spin on my heels, bolting toward the cabin. My claws unsheathe without any mental prompting.

"Leelee," I bellow, my footsteps pounding a steady rhythm against the dense forest floor. Her form emerges from the thickness of the wild, her hazel eyes wide and gleaming with terror. My heart turns leaden at the sight – my Leelee, trembling like a leaf in a chilly breeze.

"Where were you?" she pants, her raw voice hitching in her throat. "I thought—" she chokes, dropping her gaze to the crumbled leaves beneath our feet. I ache to draw her into the solace of my arms, but instead, I remain at arm's length, the need to respect her space outweighing my own desires. "I thought the men in black had found you."

"I'm sorry. I didn't think. I went for a walk. I needed some fresh air," I try explaining. Before she can process my response, I add, "I did not mean to scare you, Leelee. I should've realized…"

"I was so scared. I thought that my people had discovered you and took you away. You can't trust other humans. I mean… you can trust most people, but you won't know who to trust and who will betray you until it's too late. So please stay far away from any other humans while you are here. Promise me, you will tell before going anywhere."

I can barely stomach the trembling fright in her voice. Her fears, the product of her compassionate heart, profoundly unsettle me. This is her planet and her people, yet she fears it, all because of my presence. A promise slips out of my lips, a pledge to put her mind at ease, one that binds me to her and wraps around my purpose like a chord of iron: "I promise, Leelee."

Her relief washes over me, a soothing balm to the rawness of my guilt.

Eyes locked with Leelee, my throat tightens, a rush of words crowding for release. But the human language fails me. How do I put into words the depth of my feelings, the vortex of emotions that consume me?

"Ravok…" Leelee's voice breaks the silence. The way she says my name sounds like a promise, a soft echo bouncing in the vast emptiness that expands inside me. A pregnant silence engulfs us, unsaid words filling the space between us, making the atmosphere simmer with anticipation.

I open my mouth to say… I don't know what, when Leelee startles, as if woken from a waking dream. "I… um, I came looking for you," she stammers, blushing. "Lunch is ready… if you'd like to eat."

At her words, I can only nod, unsure of my voice. As we start walking back to the cabin, I steal glances at Leelee. The sight of her – the rhythm of her walk, the hue of her hair shining in the sun – fills me with awe. I add every tiny observation, every shared glance, into a treasure trove of memories I plan to hoard and cherish, like vital relics of our time together.