Chapter Thirteen

I do not sleep well, but I'm too wired to feel it. When I leave for the night, I go by Jhai's room but find it empty again. This time it worries me. I move across the hall to his neighbor and knock on the open door.

"Charen, have you seen Jhaixl?"

The shadow turns to face me from where he is sitting at his desk. There is a piece of paper with a sketch on it in front of him. He is an amazing artist. "Yes, actually. You just missed him."

That is a relief.

"Let him know I stopped by, please."

"Of course. Have a great shift."

"You as well," I mumble as I turn and head down the hallway. It's relieving that Jhai was just here, but still I am concerned that I haven't seen him since that time in the woods. Has he been told to avoid me? It's unlike him to not stop in often.

These thoughts roll around in my head the entire walk to my zone. I greet Averial when I see him, and he leaves me to my shift after a quick report of the area being calm. The time passes slowly, but I must wait until it is deep into the night before I can make my way to my mate's home. I cannot risk getting caught. When I feel there is nothing around, and the area seems at peace, I hurry toward her house.

When I come upon it, I cannot get within ten feet of it, as there are wards protecting her from all shadows, which includes me. This must be the work of that radiant. A smart move on his part after what happened yesterday. At least he is aware there was a shadow lurking and has done what he can to protect her. He isn't incompetent. I am grateful for this.

"What do you want, shadow?" a voice calls out. I look to where the voice came from, up on the porch by the front door. The radiant stands there, his skin practically glowing under the moon. This is certainly the same one who was inside my mate's house last night, speaking with her. But why is he still here?

"I should ask the same of you."

"I think that is clear. I'm protecting the girl."

"Protecting her from what?"

"From your kind," he says smoothly.

His comment makes my skin crawl. How dare this radiant think he can protect my mate better than I? Though, I suppose that is the unfortunate truth at this time, but it won't be this way forever. She is my mate. Mine to protect, to love, to cherish, to keep.

"It is not me you need to protect her from."

He smiles at me, but it is not a friendly smile. It is one you give to your enemy. "And why should I believe you?"

"Because I am the one who can protect her. I am her mate."

He furrows his brow and moves until he is in front of me. His voice is low when he says, "You are Vesperon?"

My eyes widen. "She spoke of me?"

Another relief. At least if she is speaking about me, that means he isn't that type of friend to her. It also means she does know who I am, and what I thought about her was correct. Meaning she may have answers. But what in all the realms would a radiant want with my mate? They do not protect humans as he said, so if he is protecting her, it is for his own reasons.

"Of course she has. How are you here?" he questions.

"I left my zone to see her. I must speak with her."

"She's asleep," he says firmly, crossing his arms over his chest. The gesture isn't typically aggressive, but coming from him, it seems perhaps that is what he is going for.

"It's important," I urge. "I do not wish to fight you, radiant, but I will if I have to."

His eyes widen, then he chuckles.

"And you think you will win?"

I step up to him, getting so close that I feel his heat on my being. I am a few inches taller than him, but he doesn't cower.

"Care to find out?" He opens his mouth as if to answer, but I add something before he can. "Before you answer that, remember she is my mate." I stress the last part, making sure he understands what I am willing to give to get to her—everything.

After a moment of us staring at one another, he sighs, then nods. He gestures for me to follow him, muttering a few words as we get closer to the house, which allows me to pass through the wards. I enter the house through the wall, and he walks in right after me by using the door.

"It"s freaky you can do that," he says.

"It's annoying you must use a door," I respond.

He scoffs as he moves down the hallway to her room. I follow. We stop in front of the closed door and he turns to me. "Let me wake her so she doesn't get upset."

I want to argue with him, asking why I would upset her, but I understand it may be startling for a human who isn't expecting to see a shadow to see one when they first wake. Time is not on my side, so this is for the best. I nod.

He pushes into the room, and I watch as he kneels beside her bed. He runs his hand over her forehead, whispering something quietly. I grit my teeth, anger swirling in my chest. She sucks in a breath and stirs awake. He says something, and she jolts up, her head whipping toward me.

"Ves?" she whispers in disbelief, throwing the blankets off her and rushing toward me. She stops just before she reaches me, raising her hands as if she wants to touch me, and it breaks my heart that she cannot. "You're here."

"I am here, love," I tell her. "I am here, and I truly wish I could hold you to apologize for what's happened."

Every part of my body longs to touch her soft skin. To kiss her perfect lips. To hold her in my arms.

"What'shappened?" she asks. Her face is calm and sleepy. She is so beautiful. I await the nights I can watch as she dreams, hoping it is of me.

"I wish I knew more than I do."

"What do you know?" the radiant asks, stepping up behind Lexia and stopping too close to her. I bring my gaze from her to him, noting how comfortable they both are like this. She did not flinch when he moved there. If he wanted to touch her, he could. Easily. And there isn't a single thing I could do about it. I rage with jealousy over it, and I do not like that. I dislike feeling like this toward anyone. Though I am a creature of the dark, I am not angry or cruel by nature, unless there is a reason for it. And this man, this light-being, standing so close to my mate, is unnerving.

"Promise me that you will not harm anyone unless I say so."

Her words flutter through my head, and I close my eyes as I recall the rest of the conversation. I made a promise to her, and I will not break that.

I take a breath, open my eyes, then say, "There is something nefarious going on in the shadow realm. I cannot be sure what they did to me, but I am positive they did something because I found my mate. Guardians are not allowed to have mates."

"I am aware," the radiant says. "Go on."

Though I do not care for his tone, I do go on. Only because I keep reminding myself time is not on my side.

"There is a lapse in time, a point I cannot remember, which makes me believe it's the time Lexia and I were together. I do not know how they pulled those memories from me, but—"

"How did you get them back?" The radiant shifts on his feet. His question is valid, but it angers me how he speaks to me like I am the guilty one. Like I am the one who has done something wrong. I know my mate has been hurting because of my actions recently, but that isn't my fault.

"I don't believe I have recovered all of my memories, only some. I found something in my room that brought them back to me. A flower I kept within a book." I turn my gaze to Lexia.

"A flower?" the Radiant questions.

Lexia's cheeks turn a rosy shade, and she whispers, "You kept it?" as she peers up at me, biting on her bottom lip.

"Of course, I kept it, my love. How could I not keep something so special?" I lift my hand to brush her cheek, and even though it feels like nothing more than a whisper, it feels better than anything has for a long, long time.

She hums a sound of satisfaction, a sound I could get lost in. A sound I wish to hear for the rest of my life.

"So why are you here now?" the radiant demands. His pinched brow tells me he isn't comfortable with the affection my mate and I share. So, I glare at him.

"Why is it you are here?" I demand right back, dropping my hand from her. His eyes widen. "What business does a radiant have with a human?"

"Ves, Lumen saved my life." Lexia looks at him over her shoulder, then back to me. There is a fondness shining in her eyes, but I ignore it. I will not acknowledge that look because if I do, I will break a promise.

"As grateful as I am for that, it does not explain why he is still here," I grit out.

This Lumen and my Lexia share a look that I do not understand before looking back at me. I've not a clue what sort of silent conversation they just had, so I wait until one of them speaks.

"I was sent here on assignment," Lumen explains. "When I crossed over, one of your kind was attacking Lexia. I destroyed it, then stayed to make sure she was okay. Then I noticed another had been in the house, which led me to believe they were after her. Radiants are sent where there is a shift in balance and must investigate. Because of what has occurred here, I've assumed my assignment has something to do with her."

Processing this takes a moment. It is believable, so I don't argue.

"And that is all?" I question because though it isn't a stretch, it is still odd. Agents investigate, they don't babysit. Especially humans.

"That is all," he says quickly, but I don't miss the way Lexia's nose scrunches up.

They are lying about something. Hiding something from me. I hold my chin high, but let it go for now. There is not enough time to waste arguing. Once I am whole and can have her in my arms, I will find out what it is.

I nod, then focus on Lexia. "My love, do you recall me saying anything about the shadows before I forgot everything?"

She chews on her lip for a moment, then says, "We didn't talk about them. You said nothing about any of that."

"Nothing of a shadow witch?"

Lexia shakes her head. "I've never heard anything about a shadow witch..."

"What are you going to do?" the radiant asks.

I sigh, then admit the truth. "I do not know. I believe the shadow witch has knowledge, but I am unsure how to get to her without being seen."

"Then let them see you," he says simply.

"Excuse me?"

He shrugs. "If the shadows will not allow you to keep your mate, and you intend to keep her, then why should it matter if they see you or not?"

"Because I do not want to be put to death. Nor do I want harm to come to her."

"Then do not get caught." He smirks.

This radiant—this Lumen—acts as if not getting caught is a simple thing. He's never been to the shadow realm to understand. He doesn't know what it is like. How I've felt like I am being watched constantly. I did not explain to them what Jhaixl said… what more information he may have. It isn't important enough to bring up now.

"And what if it is her they go after?" I question. Of course I do not want to die. I want to be with my mate. But ultimately, my concern is her well-being.

The radiant puts his hand on her shoulder, then leans closer to me, pressing his front to Lexia's back. "I am here to protect her," he says quietly.

I swear my vision goes dark for a second. I blink quickly, taking a slow breath. This radiant is enjoying this. His stare is taunting. Almost like he wants me to attack, probably to prove that I am a monster. His kind has never liked our kind. Of course he would want to prove that I am nothing more than a vile creature.

"That sounds dangerous," Lexia says, causing me to pull my hard stare from him and to her. It softens immediately. Gods above, she is beauty personified.

"It is," both Lumen and I say at the same time. But I continue on. "It is dangerous, but the light-being is correct. If I make my way to the shadow witch quickly, express the importance of this, then I should be able to make it back without being caught. As long as she isn't working with them, but I will be vigilant." I take a breath, then add, "And I am sure this light-being is capable of protecting you."

It was not easy admitting that, but I will not lie to my mate.

"It sounds too dangerous."

"I would risk everything to be with you, my love," I tell her softly, aching to press my hand to her face. She smiles at me, and my chest floods with warmth.

The radiant frowns, which annoys me. I don't understand what his problem is. Though, by nature, we do not get along, we have a common mission—keep Lexia safe.

"I hate that I must leave, but if I am seen off of my zone, I will be in trouble before I can make it to the witch." Lexia nods, and I look up at Lumen. "Can you change these wards to allow me in at any time? When I leave the realm, I will need a place to go."

"I can, but staying here isn't safe. They've come for Lexi more than once. I'm sure it'll be the first place they check."

His nickname for her doesn't go unnoticed. They are so friendly that he doesn't call her by her full name?

"Is there somewhere else we can go?" I ask instead of allowing my anger to take over.

"I have a place," the light-being says with a nod.

"Wait, I can't just leave," Lexia adds tensely.

"Staying here is dangerous," I tell her.

"Now that Vesperon remembers you, you don't have to stay here and wait for him any longer," the light-being adds.

I'm glad we are on the same page with that, and it warms my heart that she was waiting for me.

"But…" She looks around her room. "So quickly? Are we sure this is the only way?"

"If you want to be together," I say carefully, realizing I've never asked her this. Being kind to me does not mean she wishes to complete the mate bond. She is human, after all.

"Of course I do," she answers, and again, the radiant frowns. I narrow my eyes at him, but he keeps his gaze to the side, as if he is thinking of something else. "I just… there are some things I need to take care of. How much time do I have?"

"I will not go to the shadow witch until tomorrow evening before my shift. Going through the crossover tonight, before my scheduled time, will ring more alarms than necessary. After I see her, I will come right here, and we can leave together."

She thinks about it for a moment, then says, "Okay."

"My love," I say, brushing my fingertips across her cheek. Her eyes flutter closed. "I wish I did not have to go."

"I will ensure she is safe," the light-being says hurriedly.

Why? Why is he ensuring her safety? The question nags me.

Trusting this light-being will not be easy. Especially since I am not sure I should. But he has protected my mate more than once already. That is what I have to remember. "I cannot thank you enough for this, light-being."

He watches me carefully as I back away, as if he thinks I'm the one who can't be trusted.

All the way back to my zone, I can't stop wondering what it is they are hiding from me.