Chapter 5

Chapter

Five

T he car pulled up to the Riverine Imperial Fleet Cemetery just as the service began.

I counted twenty-six mounds of freshly churned earth to mark the deaths of those who fell at the attack on our training campus. I knew Nikhil was among one of them, and was reminded of his sacrifice to save Anika and all of his help in our alliance in the Wilds. I suddenly felt so selfish for not thinking of them over the last two days. Not even once.

Some empress I was.

I stepped out of the car as imperial guards shadowed behind me and I grabbed a handful of feathers from the basket at the entrance and held them in my hands. We believed that the sky and stars held the keys to our creation, and feathers from birds who lived in the sky would be our payment to the afterlife. Placing them in the graves was a sign of respect and payment to the creator to pass into eternity among the stars.

The people, amassed in the hundreds, made way for me, and I nodded to them as I passed. Half a dozen imperial soldiers flanked around me and Elaine. It was an eerie feeling to be among people and yet set apart from them. I didn’t feel different, but my status said that I was. My father relished his title as emperor; he loved seeming above everyone. I hated it, and I wondered if I would ever grow used to it.

As I reached the first grave, a grief-stricken mother was bent on her knees before it, silent tears streaming down her face. The name Mateo Braden was carved into the headstone. I didn’t know him. I should, but I didn’t.

She looked up at me, and when I was fully confronted with the pain in her gaze, suddenly, war made no sense. They killed us. We killed them in retaliation. Back and forth until the end of time? I shook my head to dislodge the thoughts and then kissed my two fingers, touched the feather, and dropped it into the open grave. It slowly fluttered down onto the top of the maple-stained casket, landing among the dozens of other feathers.

The mother nodded at my show of respect. “Thank you,” she whispered up at me.

I had no words for her; nothing was coming to me. Thank you for your son’s service? He died a hero? I’ll get back at Luska in his honor and kill their sons? They were empty sentiments, screaming into a void of pain and desperation.

Instead, I kneeled down and met her gaze head-on. “I’m sorry,” I said earnestly.

She nodded, letting the tears fall freely, and then I stood.

I’m sorry . It was all I could offer. Two stupid words to mark the death of a healthy young man.

I moved to the next grave and the next, kissing my fingers and sending my blessing and well-wishes to the souls who had passed on their journey to the sky. Each dead body broke something in me. As the newly appointed leader, I took each one personally. Even as I grieved my own father, I also grieved these sons and daughters, mothers and fathers. When I was met with a family member, I could only offer them two words.

I’m sorry.

I felt like an imposter. My father would have handled this so much better. He would have given some speech about how these soldiers died heroes, and we would pay back Luska in kind, but I didn’t have the strength for that. It was too sad, and I was grieving my own loss. I’d have to find it, though, because tonight, we would retaliate on Luska for what they did, and I’d need all the might I could muster then.

When I reached the final grave, I saw that it was Nikhil’s headstone. Beside it, Kohen crouched next to his fallen best friend’s grave, and my body went rigid. He peered up at me, and our gazes locked. Kohen’s eyes were red-rimmed and my heart twisted in my chest. I wanted to stay with him, to take him into my arms and tell him everything would be okay, but I couldn’t. Especially not after what he said last night.

I love you.

Saying those words had ruined everything. But I couldn’t think about any of that now.

Gasps and murmurs rang throughout the space. I spun to see what the commotion was, just in time to see Liana descend from the sky.

I faced my creature as the crowd parted, and she stepped closer to me.

‘I know your custom. Take one of my feathers for him,’ she said.

My heart pinched at her offer. The feather of a firebird would surely get any soul into the afterlife.

I reached out and grasped one of her purple feathers that faded to orange at the tip and plucked it out. Kissing my fingers, I touched the feather and dropped it into Nikhil’s grave. As it fell, it smoked and then turned to flames, eliciting a gasp from onlookers, including myself. By the time it touched his casket, it was powdery ash.

‘May his soul live forever,’ Liana said.

‘Thank you,’ I told her.

I peered over at Kohen. He gave me a thankful smile and a nod.

I wanted to tell him I was sorry like I had everyone else who was grieving their lost loved ones, but I felt if I said anything to him, I might crack. Meeting his brothers, hearing him tell me he loved me and that I’d one day be his wife… it changed things between us. I felt like I was walking a path I could no longer turn back from, and it scared me.

I nodded back at him. Keeping things professional.

When I glanced back at the casket a final time, I noticed the ash pile where the feather had landed was shimmering purple and orange as it regrew. An eternal feather. Liana had given Nikhil something that would last forever, and it touched my heart.

I spied Anika off in the distance, and as the priest began his final prayers, I slipped away from the crowd and went over to her. She leaned against a tree, silent tears streaming down her face. I stood in front of her, saying nothing for a few moments. She was stuck in the throes of grief and probably survivor’s guilt. They taught us about it in my training at the Imperial Academy. Experiencing war and having friends die left and right when only you remained wore on you after a while.

“It’s not your fault,” I said, and her face contorted into agony.

“It should have been me,” she growled. I liked Anika. I’d tried not to, but the woman had grown on me. It killed me to see her like this.

I shook my head. “No. It should have been no one, but fate took him, and we have to live on and do good things in his name.”

Anika’s tears evaporated in an instant, and her face drew into a snarl. “Tell me you’re planning revenge on Luska for this attack?”

I gave her a small nod. “I am.” I liked that Anika was treating me the same as any other day. She hadn’t bowed or called me Empress or made me feel any different. She stepped away from the tree and closed the distance to within a foot of me. The guards to my left and right inched closer, but I put out my hand to stay them. Anika was no threat to me.

“Take me with you. Whenever the attack is, I want in.” She lowered her voice. The wind stirred around us, and I knew it was a demonstration of her power. My gaze flicked to the woods at the edge of the cemetery to see her lioness lying in the grass, tail swishing as she watched me carefully.

I knew how Anika felt. I did. I wanted my own revenge for my father, and I wanted it firsthand. But the admirals would never approve her to go on the mission. She was a rookie and an Imbrian—two strikes against her. I had barely convinced them to allow Kohen.

“I can’t do that. But I can promise you that justice for Nikhil will be dealt by the hand of an Imbrian.” My gaze flicked to Kohen, and she relaxed a little, giving me a curt nod. That seemed good enough for her.

“Are you going to be posted at Sky Reach from now on?” she asked me.

Unease rolled down my spine. Why did she want to know? It was just like Elaine said. Until people were questioned by Admiral Caruso, I would trust no one.

I hated it when Elaine was right.

Anika must have taken my hesitation for what it was, mistrust, because she rolled her eyes.

“I didn’t kill your father, Aisling. I’m only asking because I want to be posted there, too. We all do. Dev, Meera, Kian, Tetra. Even Alek and Roc. The alliance should stay together now more than ever.” She seemed determined.

They had talked about staying together? Staying with me? That touched me.

Her words brought me back to my conversation with Elaine in the car. “I don’t want anyone getting hurt.” I shook my head, and Anika growled, causing my security detail to take another two steps forward, but I waved them off again.

Anika met my gaze. “I’m not a delicate flower, Empress .” She said the word like it was dirty. “Your father was sending Meera, Kian, Dev, and I to be glorified security guards at the mines. Is that what you think of me? Of my potential?”

He was? I… hadn’t known that. I should have asked him, but I had only been worried about Tetra and Kohen.

All of them had incredible powers. Why would he send them to keep the mines secure? Any old Fleet soldier could do that. One with a creature belonged at an army base. It was disrespectful. It was because they were Imbrian. It was wrong.

My father wasn’t perfect; I knew that. He grew up in a time when Imbria was plotting takeovers and bombing our train stations. It was hard to breed that kind of thing out of someone. But times had changed.

“What about Thunder Cliff?” I asked her. “A badass base that gives you a better chance at survival.”

She shook her head. “We want to be with Kohen and help protect you,” she declared, and jealousy rushed through me at the way she said his name. There was an ache in her voice, and I knew at that moment that she knew Kohen and I were something. I wasn’t sure what we were, but she knew. I hadn’t even assigned Kohen to Sky Reach yet, but I guess that was inevitable, too.

“Empress,” Elaine called behind me. It was time to go. I had to check in with my sisters and then start my flight to Sky Reach to speak with the admirals and initiate the attack on Luska. Elaine would have to leave right away and take the express train just to line up time with me. If all went well, I’d blow the Luskin Palace sky-high tonight.

“Okay, but if you die, the blood won’t be on my hands. I warned you,” I told Anika.

She grinned and bowed her head slightly. “Yes, Empress.”

The way she said it was laced with some friendly sarcasm, and again, I found myself liking her. Anika was real. Like Tetra. There wasn’t an ounce of fake nice in her, and I respected the hell out of that.

“See you at Sky Reach, soldier,” I told Anika.

She saluted me properly, respectfully, and I hoped to every star in the sky that I wouldn’t regret this decision.

I prayed Kohen would forgive me for assigning everyone he loved to a suicide mission. Not many first years survived Sky Reach.