21. Hanna

Opening my eyes to the morning light, I catch sight of the red-hued skies outside my bedroom window. But Kazrith isn't at my side anymore, even though he certainly was last night.

I woke up too late to see him go.

Even though I try to fight against it, emptiness fills my chest and makes me wonder if I could've done anything to make him stay. I know that he has work obligations to figure out, but why can't he shove that all to the wayside for a day and spend more time with me?

I sigh, pushing myself into a sitting position on the bed. "This is Kazrith. He'll never prioritize me over his money."

I've seen glimpses of what Kazrith can act like when he doesn't focus so much on his business. Despite his brusque nature and the callous way he can treat others, there are times when he can be sweet.

Honestly, he's been treating me sweetly ever since we arrived here. From the food he has sent to my room to the flower bouquets that he makes his servants pick out for me. He's a demon who has probably never shown this type of emotion to anyone else before.

The thought excites me, even if it really shouldn't.

I pinch my nose bridge, somewhat disappointed by my own thoughts. "You have to get back to your dad. You have to get revenge on that stupid fucking Zathex. You can't get sidetracked right now."

But then I remember Kazrith going out of his way to organize a dinner date for us. I remember the ways he snuck glances at me whenever he thought I wasn't looking. I remember how his hands touched my skin last night, igniting a fire in my soul that had long been extinguished.

Sex with Kazrith is becoming a more frequent part of my routine.

A deep sigh leaves my body. "I don't know what's going on with me."

After all, this is all going to end soon. Very soon, actually. Kazrith has a spy keeping an eye on Zathex back in New Solas. It's only a matter of time before we return. That should be everything I ever wanted. But it isn't.

I want to be here with Kazrith beyond that. I want to wake up in this estate every day, gazing out upon the red sky and the exotic garden that adorns his home. I want to learn more about his culture and understand why he is the way he is.

None of this should be happening, though. That's what breaks my heart the most. My mind knows what I have to do, but my heart refuses to listen. My stubborn heart wants to stay right here with Kazrith, even if he doesn't see me of any use anymore.

You've fallen in love with him, Hanna.

"That can't be true," I whisper, closing my eyes tightly. I already feel the beginnings of a migraine settling in. "That can't be fucking true."

How am I going to explain this to my father? That I ran away with a demon and fell in love with him while he was stuck in New Solas?

That isn't fair, but for the first time in my life, I don't want to be fair. I want to do what I want.

The knock on my bedroom door jolts me out of my thoughts. I pull the blankets up to cover my naked body completely before giving them permission to come in. I want to think it's Kazrith who is behind that door, but he doesn't need my permission to let himself in. He just comes and goes as he pleases.

One of the servants, Hilka, sticks her head in and smiles. Two horns extend out from her head, curling slightly near the top. She wears her hair in an intricate braid that extends down her back. And like the other volvath demons here, she has pale skin that contrasts against the darkness of her hair and clothing.

"Good morning," she greets. She's one of the nicer servants here. I never knew a demon could be this joyful. "How did you sleep?"

"Fine," I reply, knowing full well that my disheveled hair and bare shoulders leave nothing to the imagination. "I just woke up. Sorry about that."

She clicks her tongue and shakes her head. "No need to apologize to me. But I'll have you know that Master Kazrith was quite pleased with himself when I saw him heading to his office this morning."

The remark makes my skin burn.

She sets down a small arrangement of flowers on the table opposite my bed. Then, she lays down a few dresses on a nearby chair as well. My breath hitches in my throat. Kazrith didn't use me and forget about me after all.

"All of this is a gift from Master Kazrith," she explains, clapping her hands together. "Would you like some help getting ready today? Master Kazrith has asked for your presence at breakfast today, so I assume you want to look your best for the occasion."

"He said that?"

Hilka nods. "I would never lie to you."

Feeling as frazzled as I do right now, the extra help couldn't have come at a better time. "Yes, please. Could you hand me a robe from the bathroom?"

"Certainly."

Hilka retrieves my robe, and she turns away as I pull it on my body. When I'm done, she leads me towards a chair and sits me down gently. Then she starts threading her fingers through my hair, starting to work on a braid.

"You know, I'm very glad that Master Kazrith decided to bring you here to us."

I fold my hands on my lap. "Why's that?"

"He's been treating us all a lot better ever since you came," she says. "Male demons don't really care about appearances, you know. They'll scream, threaten, and intimidate anyone who comes in their way. That's just how they are. And Master Kazrith has those shadows that give him extra arms sometimes."

Then I hear Hilka let out a small sigh.

"But with you, he acts differently. That isn't to say that he's being ingenuine whenever he's around you. Not at all. You humans are more delicate creatures than we are, and I think he understands that."

My tongue trails across my teeth in thought. In the beginning, I figured that Kazrith was only acting the way he was as a part of our deal. We would pretend to be married for the public, but in private, we could do whatever we wanted. With or without each other.

This is starting to make me think that what Kazrith and I have is real, much deeper than the original deal we made with each other.

"You're from New Solas, correct?" she asks.

"Yes, I am. I've lived there in the human settlement to the west of the city."

"Amongst the xaphans," she continues. Then, she scoffs. "I've never liked them. Master Kazrith doesn't like them very much, either, but he continues to go to New Solas because that's where he gets the best goods. And he has some friends there, believe it or not."

I nod. "That's where we met."

Even though I can't see her, I can hear the smile on her lips as she talks. "I've heard more and more demons taking up humans as mates. At first, I couldn't believe it. We're so different, after all."

Then Hilka lets out a small laugh. She finishes the braid in my hair and rests it against my back. I can feel it between my shoulder blades. Reaching around, I run my fingers along the intricate designs she plaited.

"Master Kazrith always said that he didn't want to get married or have a mate at all. He said that he was too busy for such nonsense and didn't believe in love. I think you've made him eat his words. But don't tell him I said that." She laughs, covering her mouth. "He might get angry with me."

I smile up at her, thankful for her kind presence. "Thank you for the braid, Hilka."

"In the village I'm from, the more complex the braid, the more beautiful you are," she explains. She grabs the dresses from the chair and starts presenting them to me. "Master Kazrith was going to sell these in his shop, but then he decided to gift them all to you."

Despite everything, he chose me over his business. Me over his money.

And yet, this is all going to end soon. Why did my life start improving so much ever since I met Kazrith? Why am I the happiest I've ever been since I've been at the demon's side?

"Would you like to choose one?" Hilka asks. "Personally, I think the green one goes well with your skin tone. And it matches your eyes. Ah, humans are such fascinating creatures! I've never known anyone else with such green eyes before."

Hilka spends the rest of her time with me, helping me choose a dress and sliding it onto my body. When we finish, she hurries me along to meet with Kazrith in the dining room, where a grand breakfast awaits.

I appreciate her and her honesty about Kazrith, but at the same time, it's complicated my emotions over him even more. Because she just confirmed to me that he's being genuine. He has changed his ways for me, albeit slightly. And he's willing to put aside his business if it means making me happy.

How am I supposed to walk away from him, knowing all of this? How am I supposed to go on with my life without him when I'd rather be by his side for the rest of my days?

Our revenge plan should be at the forefront of my priorities, but the more time I spend with Kazrith, all of that falls away. He's become too important to me, and I don't know if I'm ready to give him up when everything is said and done.