Chapter Six | Jamal

Afternoons at the Rainbow Youth Centre were always busy. Kids came here straight after school. Some walked and biked. Some needed to take the bus. They came from all over the city.

I rolled into the gymnasium. Noah had a group taking shots on an empty net with hockey sticks and plastic pucks. He was, of course, proficient at it. He'd played some hockey as a kid.

He saw me and came my way. I hadn't talked to him since before he went away on his honeymoon. The kids had missed him. There had been loud squealing and clapping of excitement when he showed up today. Noah was one of their favourite volunteers.

Noah stood beside me, holding his hockey stick.

"How have you been?" he asked.

"Been a bit distracted, to be honest. How was your honeymoon?"

"Let's go back to you first. What has you distracted?"

"It's a who ."

"Let me guess. Liam?"

I looked up at him. He had a cheeky smile on his face. "You heard about our outing."

"Are you sure it wasn't a date?"

God, it had felt like one by the end. "No. Just two friends hanging out."

"Ah huh. You don't sound convinced."

"Spending the day with him felt different than I thought it would. "

"You like him."

"I hadn't expected him to be such a complex and sweet guy."

"You missed that when I talked about him?"

"I thought you were biased. His entire gooey essence tackled me from out of nowhere."

"What are you going to do about it?"

I shook my head. "I'm setting aside that I like him. I'm enjoying getting to know him. Liam and I could be good friends. I feel like that's the best I can hope for." My brow dipped as I looked at Noah. He was giving the vibe that he wanted to say something. "Unless you have information."

Noah shook his head. "I've been sworn to secrecy."

My heart pattered hard. Liam had spoken to Noah about me. What kind of secret had Liam asked Noah to keep? My palms began sweating. Was Liam feeling the same attraction?

Was it possible he didn't see my wheelchair and only saw me?

I couldn't risk the rejection. "I'd like to leave things as they are. Get to know him better as a friend. My heart wouldn't survive being crushed by him."

"You're right to be cautious. I love Liam to bits, but he hasn't been in a relationship since university. It might be difficult for him to get his head in the game for one."

I appreciated Noah being honest, but it broke my spirit a little. I'd had far too many dreams where Liam had come around and swept me up, and we'd fallen in love.

"Get back to the court, Noah. The kids are losing focus." I turned and rolled back to my office. While arriving at my desk, my phone rang. His ears must have been burning. It was Liam.

My heart skipped a little as I answered the call.

"Hey, Liam. "

"Charlie and I ended things." Interesting way to start a conversation. Jump right to what was on his mind. But why was he telling me this? My chest tightened as I considered possibilities.

I steadied my breathing and tried to sound as unphased as possible.

"Oh? Why?"

"It may have turned into a relationship. It was never supposed to do that."

I frowned. "Why not?"

"It was supposed to be about sex. That's it. Just two guys fucking."

I cleared my throat. Why had Liam come to me with this? Surely Noah or one of the other guys would have been a better choice. Maybe he'd spoken to them already.

"I was convinced we hated each other," he continued. "The sex was so angry."

I wasn't sure what angry meant when it came to sex. Was Liam into that? I didn't feel comfortable asking him. Not yet. "But that's not how Charlie felt?"

"Apparently not. He lied to me when he said he didn't want to be my boyfriend."

"And you hadn't developed those same feelings?"

"No. Charlie was fun but I didn't want more from him."

Noah had been right. Liam didn't sound like he was even interested in trying to be in a romantic relationship. No matter what I felt, I was going to have to keep Liam in the friend zone.

"So, what happens now? Back to hookups?"

Liam sighed. "No. I've got stuff going on. I don't want to do the hookup thing."

Hearing him say that he wasn't going to be with other men warmed my core. He wouldn't be mine, but it made me happy that he wasn't racing out to fuck a load of men.

"Do you want to do something tonight?" I asked .

I needed to see him.

"Sure."

"Are you brave enough to come to my house and have dinner with my family?" It was a safe place to be with him. Plus, I wanted my family to meet him.

"Is that going to be alright at such short notice?"

"My mamma and dadi make so much food, it'll be fine. I'd let them know you're coming."

"Then I'm looking forward to it. What time?"

I told Liam to come at 6 pm and gave him our address. Mamma was excited I was bringing a friend home for dinner. She and my dadi pivoted and decided to make butter chicken with rice.

I was waiting in my home's front entry for Liam when he rang the doorbell. Damned if he didn't come into my house with a sexy smile directed right at me.

Liam looked around the large foyer with a curved staircase. "Thanks so much for inviting me." His gaze fell on my chairlift. "I'm looking forward to a family dinner."

"You don't have many of those?" I still didn't know about his family.

"I don't have any of those other than with the guys. I've been working out. I'm starving."

Again … family. A topic for another time.

"Well, let's head upstairs. Do you mind carrying my wheelchair up?"

"Sure. Whatever you need."

I rolled to the chairlift and transferred onto it. Liam's technique was awkward, but he got the wheelchair up the stairs. Back in my chair, we headed to the dining room. There was a flurry of activity as food was brought to the table one dish at a time, and everyone poured themselves a glass of water and found their seat. They all looked up as we approached.

"Family, this is Liam. "

My mamma smiled and clapped her hands together. "My, aren't you handsome."

"Mamma." I looked at Liam. "Sorry."

"No worries." He focused his attention on her. "It's nice to meet you."

"Please call me Laila."

I motioned to the head of the table. "My dad, Harsha."

My pappa opened his arms. "Welcome, Liam."

Liam nodded to him. "Thank you for having me."

"And this is my sister, Meera, her husband, David, and their son, Marcus."

"Nice to finally meet you," Meera said, causing me to glower at her. Yes, she'd been hearing about Liam for what might embarrassingly have been years. I wish she'd kept her mouth shut.

"Thanks. I think." Liam tipped his head and looked at me.

"Ignore her." I grabbed my cousin's arm. "This is my cousin, Zahir."

Zahir shook Liam's hand. "Welcome."

My grandparents wandered into the room and took their seats. "Liam this is Dadi, my grandma, and Dada, my grandpa. You can call them by those names if you'd like."

"Yes," Dadi said. "More chance of us answering if you do."

Liam smiled, laughing softly. "I will. It's a pleasure to meet you both."

"Well, that's everyone." I rolled into my place. "Have a seat." Liam sat beside me, only bumping into my wheelchair once before settling.

"Guests first," Mamma said and lifted the bowl of rice toward Liam.

I knew it wasn't something Liam would normally eat but he loaded one-third of his plate with the carb. Mamma directed him to scoop from the bowls sitting in the middle of the table next. He placed some butter chicken on his plate, a small helping of saag paneer, and a roti.

Once he had served himself, the rest of us set in. I peered over at Liam's plate a few times. He was separating the chicken away from the sauce into its own little pile.

I did the same.

Liam bumped his shoulder against mine, pushing me a little as he looked at my plate, acknowledging the comradery we'd found with each other. The brief physical contact made my blood race around my circulatory system at record speed. His aroma of coconut surrounded me.

I wanted him to lean against me again.

"Did you know a coconut is not actually a nut? It's a stone fruit. It can put down roots."

Liam coughed then chuckled.

"Where the heck did that come from?" Meera asked.

My mouth was suddenly dry. "Just a random thought."

And there he was. Liam leaned against me again; his shoulder pressed to mine. My entire body hummed with pleasure. The rest of the table paid us no mind, occupied as they launched into chatting about the food and what everyone had been up to today.

"It's the oil I use in my hair," Liam whispered to me.

"Ah. Mystery solved." Then as if I had no control over my tongue. "I like it."

"Then I'll keep using it."

God, we were flirting. That's what this was. We weren't supposed to be doing this.

"Jamal tells us you're a bartender," Pappa said to Liam. "How do you like it?"

"Well, it's not my first choice of career," Liam replied. "I took my Bachelor of Arts degree right after high school. Majored in psychology and gender studies, but I can't do much with it unless I go back to school. I might still do that … but for now, I'm happy at the pub."

"And that's the most important thing," Mamma said. "Happiness. Jamal loves his job."

"He does great work with those kids," Liam replied. "They're lucky to have him. I think about all the time and effort he puts in with them and … I admire him for it."

Not going to lie. I blushed a little bit.

Okay—a lot.

"What do you do, Meera?" Liam asked.

"I'm a pediatrician," she answered. "So is my husband. Continued the family tradition to a degree. Pappa is a renowned child psychologist. Mamma works with autistic children. David and I met in high school and kept following each other in our choice of studies."

"Yeah," I said. "Those two are sickening, they're so cute together."

"I like it." Liam smiled. "A family who supports youth."

"We're very proud of them all," Dadi said.

"And you, Zahir?" Liam asked.

"So boring. I'm an accountant. No youth in sight."

"Still an important job."

The conversation turned to a recounting of each of our days, including Liam. It felt good to see Liam smiling and laughing, so at ease with my family. He'd fit in well here.

My family would be asking me to invite Liam over often.

I was more than fine with that.

Liam leapt up to help clear the table once we were done eating and had our chai tea. Carrying a stack of plates to the kitchen, he gained bonus points with Mamma.

He was in the kitchen for a while. I could hear Meera laughing at something he said. When he emerged, he stood beside my chair and put his hand on my shoulder.

The weight felt amazing .

I looked up at him. "Do you want to hang in my room for a while?"

Please.

"Sure. Back downstairs?"

"Yeah, I'm on the ground floor. Easier for me to go in and out."

We said our goodbyes to my family and headed for the stairs. I didn't need to ask him. Liam carried my wheelchair down them as I used the lift.

He waited for me to transfer into it, and then followed me into my bedroom. It was a large room with an attached bathroom. I kept both rooms neat so I could get around in them with ease.

I rolled over to my bed; the only seating in the room and transferred onto it. As I shuffled myself to lean against the headboard, hauling my legs along, self-conscious of what it looked like the whole time, Liam went to the other side of the bed and lifted himself onto the mattress.

We were soon seated beside each other. I flicked on the television.

"What do you want to watch?" I asked.

"Do you mind if we talk instead?"

"Don't mind at all." I turned off the television. "What's on your mind?"

"I want to apologize for my phone call earlier today." Liam crossed his arms. "I shouldn't have dumped all that on you. We barely know each other." He looked along his shoulder at me.

"I didn't mind. You can come to me with stuff like that if you want."

Liam smiled at me. "You're a very kind man."

"Relationships are tough."

"I've only had one." Liam looked down at his lap. "Not sure I'm built for a relationship. "

I shifted. "Why do you think that?"

"If I had a partner, he would deserve my full attention, but I'm too wrapped up in this." He motioned up and down his body with one hand. "I had my first cosmetic surgery when I was nineteen. My boyfriend couldn't understand why I wanted to do it. It's why we broke up."

"What was his issue with it?"

"That I was hyper-fixated on my looks."

Okay, fair enough. Liam seemed to be on a constant quest for approval when it came to his appearance. Truth was we all liked to look at him. All 131,630 followers. Me included.

"What did you have done? If you don't mind me asking."

Liam shook his head. "My nose. Got rid of my Roman bridge. Improved my eyes, then cheek fillers." He stroked his face. "Later I had my chin augmented. My ears tucked back."

I wasn't sure what to say. He was beautiful, but it was sad he thought it was necessary to change himself so much. "Have you achieved what you envisioned?"

Liam sighed. "When I was a kid, I was bullied a lot. I was overweight and my face was unextraordinary. I dreamed about making myself perfect . Then everyone would love me."

"Has that happened?"

"Not the way I imagined."

"The hookups?"

"Yes." He looked up at the ceiling. "God, Jamal … there have been so many meaningless men. For so many years the admiration and attention kept me filled up. Now … I'm not so sure."

"It's not making you happy anymore?"

Liam lowered his chin, turned his head, and stared at me. His chest rose and fell as he studied my face. I was waiting for him to say something profound. Something that would signify he was looking for more from life than his historic string of sexual encounters .

Instead, he uttered a simple, "No."

We were silent, then as I sat with my mouth hanging open, Liam struggled with the coated elastic holding his hair in a topknot and released his blond mane to cascade down to his shoulders.

Jeezus, this man.

He put the elastic on his wrist.

"My partner and I broke up not long after my accident." I needed to distract myself. We'd been talking about relationships. Not sure how we'd arrived at sexual encounters and gorgeous hair.

Liam frowned. "What happened?"

"I think we were both in mourning. Our relationship as it had been … was gone."

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you. It still hurts." God, the concern in his gaze was stunning. "I'd gone out for snacks to eat while we watched a movie on television. I took my bicycle. I rarely used my car. Especially for a quick trip like that. The grocery store was only a few blocks away."

Liam blinked; his dark blond lashes hiding his intense blue eyes for a moment.

"I don't remember what happened. One second I was cycling down the road, the next I opened my eyes to lights rushing past overhead and someone speaking to me, saying my name." It had been my sister, walking alongside the gurney on my way to the operating room.

"Drunk driver ran a red light and plowed right into me. I was tossed up and landed nearly five metres behind them. They didn't even brake." I rested my head on my pillow as I kept my gaze on Liam. "My partner, Richard, was so supportive. He took me to my appointments and physical therapy sessions. He was my advocate when I became too frustrated to think straight. He encouraged me when I was learning to manage life without the use of my legs."

The way I had repaid that kindness and love had been horrendous.

"It wasn't enough?"

"It was, but we became so sad, both of us. Our life together had changed too drastically."

"You drifted?"

"Until the day he moved out of my parents' house." God, there was so much that had led up to that. Our parting had been filled with anguish. I hadn't reacted well to my paralysis.

"You loved him."

I blinked and a tear streaked down my cheek. "So much."

Liam surprised me when he flung an arm around my shoulders, tugged me to him, and embraced me in a warm hug. I leaned against him and clung tightly to his bicep.

His strong arms felt so good against the sadness that had descended. He hummed against my hair and kissed my head. I just about melted away, overwhelmed by his affection.

This sweet and gentle man had been hiding behind an endless stream of sultry shirtless photos. It was possible I was seeing a side of him few had. We were opening a pathway of trust.

And friendship.

Or was there more than that happening?