Chapter 12

TWELVE

The time when wounds began to heal

The day we lost Elijah, a piece of each one of us died with him.

My brother was finally laid to rest.

Grief is the price we pay for loving someone so deeply. The pain is immeasurable, and like waves in the ocean, it comes and goes, some days greater than others.

There are moments when we’re able to take a step forward. Unfortunately, though, most of the time, the grief suffocates any hope of a bright future again.

The last few months have been the hardest I’ve ever endured. I’d pushed away my wife for fear of losing her. None of it made sense how loving someone can hurt so much. How losing them is our biggest fear. The misery I’d inflicted on Charlotte was unforgivable and out of character, given on our wedding day I’d promised her nothing would ever tear us apart again.

It got to a point where my mistakes became my identity like I had some evil twin dictating my every move, out to destroy everything.

The reality, once again, was the wake-up call I desperately needed. There was no way I was going to lose Charlotte to him. Seeing Baker on the dance floor brought all my mistakes to the surface. He held my wife in his arms, and for every second that passed, inside of me shattered like broken glass.

The way she looked at him ripped open my old wounds, the pain just simply unbearable.

Charlotte Edwards is the air I breathe.

Without her—I am dead.

Forgiveness is not as simple as I’d hoped for. The last few days tested both of us.

Being in the same house and not sleeping in bed together was incredibly hard. Every time we managed to be in the same room, I ached to reach out and caress her.

It’s her smile, her laughter, and the way she tells some ridiculous story about Eric which always ended up boring me since the man has the most unfortunate luck. All of it was a piece of her I’d taken advantage of, never realizing how important the simple things are until they’re taken away from you.

We were back on talking terms, but I knew she was still processing everything. The woman is stubborn at the best of times. Charlotte made it perfectly clear she wasn’t ready for me to touch her intimately, despite my selfish need to take her in the parking lot the night of the event.

I’m clinging to hope we can somehow get through this. We’d been through so much already, and our love for each other tested many times. Yet, what doesn’t kill you supposedly makes you stronger.

My hope and my prayers were answered thirty minutes ago when Charlotte busted into the boardroom and requested to see me in private.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, panicked.

She buried her head in my chest while sobbing loudly.

“I love you,” she cried. “It hurts, but I love you.”

“If I have to spend my entire life earning your forgiveness, I will do just that. I can’t … we can’t be apart. I cannot let you go.”

“I don’t want you to let me go. We promised it was ride or die. I’m standing here, breathing, alive, and want to give our family a second chance to become one again.”

The Bluetooth inside the car begins to ring as I drive down the freeway toward home. Adriana’s name flashes on the screen, so I answer in case something is wrong since she has Amelia.

“Adriana,” I answer, rushed. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Lex. I’m sitting outside with Andy and Amelia. They’re in the sandpit playing.”

My shoulders immediately relax. “Okay, just making sure.”

“So, how are things at home? I spoke to Charlie.”

“If you spoke to Charlotte, then you know…”

“I’m sorry, Lex.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“I just feel responsible for your marriage almost ending,” she admits with a heaviness in her tone. “I mean, my husband is the reason why you could have lost everything.”

I shake my head even though she’s unable to see. The last thing Adriana needs to do is blame herself for another thing.

“I’m the idiot who screwed up my marriage. Don’t blame yourself. I’ve made some really bad decisions, and if anyone should be saying sorry, it’s me.”

Adriana’s cumbersome sigh echoes through the speaker. “When is it supposed to get easier?”

There isn’t an answer I can give her, despite wanting to protect my sister.

“I don’t know. But it’s Eric’s birthday this weekend, and Rocky is flying over again. You know what happens when Rocky has had too much to drink, and Eric is oversensitive about his age.”

“There’s always something to look forward to, I guess.” Adriana chuckles softly. “Anyway, I called you to ask if it was okay if Amelia stayed the night?”

“I guess, but are you sure?”

“Yeah, she keeps Andy entertained, plus I figured since you and Charlie have made up, you’ll be busy in the bedroom.”

This time, it’s my turn to laugh. “My wife is hot.”

“She sure is,” Adriana muses. “Lucky Julian didn’t sweep her off her feet.”

My jaw clenches at the thought of him having any claim to my wife. Then, with a slight growl, my foot pushes down on the accelerator to speed up to the exit.

“Adriana,” I warn. “Don’t start.”

“C’mon, Lex. He’s gone now. You’ve proven your point, and it’s over for him. I’m sure he will eventually move on and find someone else.”

“Can we please stop discussing him?”

“Fine,” Adriana drags. “Before you ravage your wife, are you sure you’re still free to come to the daycare with me on Friday? I just know I’ll get emotional leaving Andy for the first time, and someone needs to make sure I don’t chicken out.”

“I’ll be there,” I assure her. “Bye, Adriana.”

“Bye, horndog.”

My lips curve upward at her last comment, unable to hold back my smile as the gates to our house open.

When we first purchased the house a few months ago, it was the right decision, given we hadn’t known how sick Elijah was. Charlotte missed Manhattan, but we both agreed to raise our family in LA. The thing I love most about our house is the space for us to grow. It has everything we want, including a large yard with views of the canyons.

I park my car in the usual spot, then take a moment to compose myself. Adriana’s mention of Baker has me rattled yet again. I’m a jealous man, something I’m not ashamed of. Though more often than not, my jealousy becomes dangerous, and my thoughts become misplaced.

Yeah, I would have killed him with my bare hands if jail time wasn’t a possibility.

My key jiggles in the lock, finally unlocking the back door. Immediately, my eyes fall upon Charlotte, leaning against the countertop. She’s still dressed in the gray skirt she wore earlier and a white blouse showing just enough cleavage to not draw attention. Her black pumps are my favorite. My eyes wander to her lean legs as I bite my lip to control my urges.

Inside my chest, my heartbeat quickens, making my breathing ragged and uneven. I slow down my movements, admiring my beautiful wife, who accepts me for all my flaws and mistakes, and chooses to build a life with me.

Her big brown eyes glance up with a smile gracing her pink lips.

“Lex,” she breathes, taking me all in as I place my keys on the counter.

We need to say so many words to each other, but perhaps, for now, no more words are left to be said. Each step closer to her, I grow hot and feverish, my body hyperaware of her presence.

The desperate need to be inside her is all I can think about. Yet, unlike the other night when I was ruthless with my intentions, Charlotte’s inviting gaze explores my body as she unknowingly bites the corner of her lip.

I’m not proud of fucking Charlotte against the car and degrading her because of my own insecurities. Anyone could have seen us and more disturbingly, seen my wife being fucked. There are sick and twisted people in this world with nothing surprising me anymore.

Although she never stopped or pushed me away, and her body relaxed when I blew inside her, I should have known better.

The connection, and love, are more than just sex.

My hands reach out, cupping her face as my mouth finds hers. Her lips taste warm and sweet, as does the moan that escapes during our kiss. I take my time, gentle with my tongue, desperate to savor this moment despite my urges threatening to turn me into a beast again. Sure, I can turn her around and fuck her pussy in a matter of seconds.

But I need more.

I need to own her.

Charlotte places her hands on my chest, taking a deep breath. “I know what you need, baby.”

Her deep and prolonged stare sends a pleasurable ache all over my body. I reach out to play with a lock of her hair.

“I need to own you,” I murmur. “You know what you need to do.”

Charlotte’s hands wander down my chest and stop at my belt. Slowly, she fiddles with the buckle, keeping her eyes on me with a teasing stare. Her fingers pull the zipper down. Then she yanks my boxers down without hesitation as my cock springs free.

The sound of her breath expelling drives me insane. I’m fucking rock hard and could blow by just continuing to watch the desire etched on her face.

Her mouth forms a circle, opening the gap with her eyes fixating on me. The tip of her tongue teases against her lips as she moves forward to take me in.

My body jerks forward, a grunt echoing inside our kitchen as my fists clench into a ball and rest against the marble countertop.

The inside of her mouth is warm like a blanket on a cold winter’s night. Charlotte takes her time, sliding me in and out, forcing me to control my need to blow at this very second.

Charlotte has memorized every single part of my body and each inch of my throbbing cock. My eyes are focused on the saliva building up around her mouth. The more, the fucking merrier. When her gaze flicks up, the submissive stare is enough for me to take what I want.

She knows just the man I am and exactly what will get me off to a roaring finish.

My hands rest on the back of her head, and without a care in the world, I thrust myself in deep, desperate to hear my cock hitting the back of her throat.

Her eyes widen as she makes a choking sound, the sound heightening my senses to the point of madness. Unable to control myself, I hold her head in position until her eyes begin to water then I release her abruptly.

“Again,”she begs with pleading eyes.

This time, I run my hands through her hair, forcefully pushing her deep until her choke echoes louder. My wife is fucking beautiful when she takes me all in, submissive to my commands when I need to own her.

My muscles tense as my entire body succumbs to my desires. The beat of my heart is racing a marathon while the hairs on my arms and the nape of my neck rise.

“One more,” I command.

Charlotte opens her mouth wide again, staring back with a watery gaze. I thrust hard. Then all my nerve endings hit their peak as I blow inside her mouth.

I let out a drawn-out growl, unable to control the warmth all over my body.

“Fuck,” I grit with a ragged breath.

Charlotte throws her head back, almost hitting the countertop. Her chest rises and falls as she tries to catch her own breath.

But we are far from finished.

“So, Mrs. Edwards, do you have plans for me?”

A slow smile builds on Charlotte’s face as she licks around the edge of her lips, making sure she’s tasted all of me. Then, she presses her palms against the marble countertop and raises her body to sit on top of it.

“I know you’re hungry, and I’ve got something you can feast on,” she teases, spreading her legs apart.

Through the sheer lace panties, my eyes focus on the moist fabric. Fuck, she’s soaking wet, and I am hungry.

“Famished,” I inform her.

Her hand moves between her legs then she shoves her panties aside, exposing her delicious pussy. With her other hand, she clutches my hair and shoves my face right into her.

“Then, eat me,” she demands.