Chapter 11

ELEVEN

The time a life began and one ended

Some say death may be the greatest of human blessings.

I never truly understood this until the reality faced our family brutally just a few short months ago.

Elijah is and has been—suffering.

The hardest part has been watching him deteriorate and losing my sister with him.

Every night has become sleepless, praying for a miracle to cure him and the endless worrying over Adriana’s well-being and the life of their unborn child.

That was until Andrew Elijah Evans entered the world just a few minutes ago.

Elijah sits beside Adriana, holding her hand with his fragile one. His prominent bones make it understandably difficult to find the strength to carry his son, but it’s important he do so.

“Elijah, are you ready to hold your son?” Mom asks, cradling baby Andrew in her hands like the proud grandmother she is.

With a weak smile, Elijah nods without a word before Mom gently places a wrapped Andrew into his arms.

Mom hovers, worried he’ll drop him given his frail state, but I watch on, knowing this moment will stay with me forever. The moment I held Amelia, I envisioned our future. All those milestones from the first birthday to the first time she’ll get into the driver’s seat and start the engine. It brought me so much joy, knowing our lives will be filled with so much love and it’s only just begun.

Yet, in front of me, a life is about to end.

I shake my head, trying to clear my morbid thoughts, then reach out to touch my sister’s hand. Adriana rests her head against the pillow, silently gazing at Elijah. The birth was long, and of course, she’s utterly exhausted. I continue to hold her hand to reassure her it’ll be okay.

But I know it won’t be.

“Lex,” Adriana’s voice cracks as she speaks. “Please take him away from Elijah.”

“Are you sure?”

“He’s tired,” is all she says.

I release Adriana’s hand from mine, then move around the bed to where Elijah sits. Carefully, I lift Andrew from his arms to see a sigh of relief from Elijah. Mom glances at me with a knowing stare and then offers Elijah something to eat or drink. Gently, I place Andrew in his plastic crib supplied by the hospital.

My father walks into the room after speaking to the midwife and ensuring all is well. The moment his eyes lay on Elijah, he draws his brows together, then his gaze flicks to me.

“Adriana, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” Dad asks, kissing her forehead.

“Tired,” she barely manages.

“How about you get some rest? I’m sure Elijah could use the rest too.”

Adriana nods, not arguing like she usually would.

“Do you want me to help you, Dad?”

“It’s okay, son. Your mother and I will make sure Elijah is settled. You stay with your sister.”

It takes both my parents to help Elijah up and transfer him to the wheelchair. His limbs are so frail, making it difficult for him to walk long distances. The reality of his deterioration is so visual, making every moment in his presence so incredibly difficult to process.

Adriana reaches out her hand to touch Elijah, but neither of them says a word. Moments later, Dad wheels him out, leaving me alone with my sister.

“So, how do you really feel?” I ask, knowing she’s trying to put on a brave face for my parents.

“Like I’ve made a mistake bringing a child into this world without a father.”

A heavy sigh escapes me, and I sit on the plastic chair and move closer to her.

“I’m here. I’ll always be here to help you.”

“You have your own family, Lex.”

My hand reaches out for hers, then I squeeze it tight. “I will not allow you to raise him alone, you understand me? He’s my nephew.”

Adriana turns her head in the opposite direction, glancing at the window.

“I can’t do this,” she chokes, the stammer in her words communicating her pain. “I’m going to lose him.”

My anger grows every second I see my sister in pain. The tightness in my chest refuses to dissipate even as I try to take breaths. All of this is unfair, but so much of my thoughts circle back to Elijah and his refusal of treatment. Maybe, if I pushed harder, he would have agreed and given himself a longer chance at life.

The guilt weighs heavily on my mind. Should I have done more? Battling with a man who is sick of fighting is perhaps the most brutal battle of all. Elijah is exhausted. His suffering is nothing any of us can imagine.

But my biggest worry is now my sister.

I cannot lose her.

There’s a gentle knock on the door.

“Come in,” I say.

The door opens as Charlotte walks in, pushing the stroller. With a forced smile, I know her too well to understand she’s terrified of what is about to come. We’ve talked about this openly and how useless we feel given everything is out of our control.

“Are you up for visitors?” Charlotte questions with slight hesitation.

“You’re family,” Adriana mumbles.

Charlotte walks in my direction, planting a kiss on my lips before moving toward Andrew. I’m distracted by my daughter being in my presence, admiring her sleeping peacefully inside her stroller.

“Adriana,” Charlotte whispers with a proud smile. “He’s beautiful. Can I hold him?”

“Of course.”

When it comes to babies, Charlotte is a natural. She picks him up so effortlessly, talking softly while cradling him in her arms.

“He has the Edwards’ nose,” Charlotte mentions with ease, “and Elijah’s light hair.”

“I’ll have to look at him every day, and it will remind me Elijah is no longer here,” Adriana blurts out.

My eyes dart to Charlotte, her painful expression struggling to compose her emotions.

“Adriana,” Charlotte begins until my sister shakes her head.

“No, Charlie. Why is no one talking about the fact that my husband will be dead soon, and I’ll be all alone raising a son who will look just like him.”

I clear my throat, aware Charlotte is just about to break down and cry again.

“Adriana,” I say softly. “We need to focus on now. Elijah is still with us. Let him enjoy his family. These memories are priceless.”

Adriana turns to look at me, but her face says it all—she’s done fighting. Her pale skin and tired eyes worry me. Even though she has just given birth, I’m unable to see the parental love kick in with her son. Not the way I saw Charlotte’s face light up the moment Amelia came roaring into this world.

“I want to be alone now,” is all she says with a blank stare.

“Of course.” I kiss her on the forehead as Charlotte begins to place Andrew back in the crib.

“Take Andy with you.”

“Andy?” Charlotte tilts her head, then shakes her head with a small smile. “It’s a cute nickname. But are you sure you don’t want to have some alone time with him?”

“No,” Adriana insists. “I want to be alone.”

Charlotte nods then places the newly named Andy down in the crib. She pushes him out as I push Amelia’s stroller, but I stop just shy of the door. “We’ll be outside if you need us.”

Adriana turns her back, facing the window again without another word.

As the door closes behind me, Charlotte drops her head to where Andy sleeps quietly.

“Lex, I’m worried.”

My hand reaches out as I pull her into me. The moment her head touches my chest, she begins to cry. I kiss her forehead, trying to comfort her.

“I’m worried too.”

Charlotte pulls away. “Post-natal depression is hard enough to manage on its own. You throw in losing your husband, and I can’t begin to imagine the pain she’s in. Adriana needs help and someone with her at all times. Maybe we can do a roster system to help?”

“Mom is already on it,” I inform her gently. “We will do what we need to do. Time is running out.”

And with those words out in the open, we both know it is the hard cold truth.

* * *

The sound is loud, like a tornado siren warning everyone of destruction.

It sends chills throughout me, even though I’ve heard it many times during my hospital internship.

A life is just about to end.

Any ounce of hope any of us had, a miracle of some sort, is fading like the light in his eyes. The once blue orbs have long faded into darkness, making this all the more real.

We stand together inside the room, my mother beside me as she tries to remain strong for my sister. Across from us, my father holds onto Adriana knowing our time with Elijah is almost at an end, but she chooses to hover near the door.

Doctor Brady places his hand on Adriana’s arm. “Mrs. Evans, I think it’s time you said goodbye to your husband.”

I’m unable to fight back the tears, watching my sister’s blank expression as if she’s on autopilot and numb to the pain. My father is struggling, emotions overcoming him in a way I’ve never seen before. Even at his own father’s funeral, my father remained composed.

But this is unfair.

He’s too young.

A sob escapes my mother, forcing me to place my arm around her shoulder to console her while she rocks Andy back and forth in an attempt to shield him from the grief surrounding us.

Then, Dr. Brady glances at me, reminding me of what he just asked Adriana to do.

Without a second thought, I move to my sister, urging her to say goodbye. Each step we take closer to Elijah brings a new pain I never knew could exist.

Elijah is lying in bed, unable to open his eyes any longer. He’s pale and gaunt with his skin almost gray. The remaining strands of his once-luscious locks are barely visible. But the hardest thing to see is the shade of blue spreading across his lips.

A croak expels from his mouth as he attempts to lift his hand to touch his wife. With no strength left to fight, he drops his hand, defeated.

With a strained voice, he mutters his final words, “I did this for us. You deserve a life with someone who will see it through with you till the very end. Don’t hate me, Adriana… please…”

The staff rushes around in one last attempt to save him. No matter the situation, there is always the possibility of a medical miracle until the sound of a flat line echoes in the room, just as it does now.

Dr. Brady looks at the nurse, shaking his head slowly. The staff remove their masks before Dr. Brady glances at the clock.

“Time of death… 11:53 p.m.”

My mother’s sobs are the loudest in the room, and a nurse rushes to her side to help with Andy as my mother struggles to stand. My father stands in shock, his face stripped of any hope he had left in him.

Instinctively, I wrap my arms around my sister, needing to protect her from the pain. I hold her close to me, desperately wanting to feel the beat of her heart against my chest. I need her to remain breathing, afraid if her heart breaks into a million pieces, she will take this journey with him.

Unable to fight my emotions, tears fall down my cheeks as I hold onto her for as long as possible. Around us, the staff begins the procedure by covering him with a blanket.

Adriana is still in my arms, with not a single sound and barely a breath. I squeeze her tighter, but then her body begins to shudder like she’s standing outside in the dead of winter blanketed with cold.

Then, she buries her head into my chest and lets out a startling scream. The pain in her cry ricochets like a bullet inside a small metal room. The sound is forever engrained in my memory. It’s the sound of losing your husband.

Your best friend.

The father of your only child.

My embrace is tight, but I don’t want to let her go until my parents take her from my arms and try to console her.

It all becomes a blur, the pain and grief not allowing us to breathe normally. My sister continues to sob into my father’s chest as I walk out to a corridor of people waiting for news.

They didn’t have to wait. They heard my sister.

Charlotte is being comforted by Eric as they both sob in each other’s arms. Charlotte lets go and rushes to where I stand, burying her head into my chest and holding onto me as if her life depends on it.

Rocky and Nikki are standing beside Eric. They do their best to hold it back, but like all of us, grief is a force to be reckoned with.

Kate is sitting beside the stroller with Amelia sleeping inside. Her head is lowered, unable to make eye contact, but the tears fall onto her lap while she sits in silence.

“Lex,” Charlotte calls in thin and strained sobs. “Andy…”

“He’s inside.”

“I want to be with Adriana.”

I nod, then glance over at Kate. She lifts her head, her bloodshot eyes meeting mine with a pained stare.

“I’ll stay with Amelia. Take your time.”

With my heart beating incredibly fast, I open the door, scared of what I’ll find inside.

Adriana is still in my father’s embrace, barely able to hold herself up, and my mother helps to make sure she doesn’t collapse. The nurse is still with Andy, allowing our family a moment to come to terms with losing Elijah.

As Charlotte enters the room behind me, her gaze darts to the covered body on the bed, then onto my sister.

Charlotte runs to Adriana, ripping her away from my father as Adriana begins to sob into Charlotte’s shoulder.

“He’s gone,”she screams. “My husband is gone.”

And just like that, Elijah Jean Evans left this world and finally became free of the pain his body endured.

As for the rest of us, our nightmare is only beginning.