CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT CHAD

The Day Before – Part Two

"Oh God, no!" Alan exclaimed. "I could never do that."

"Why?" I asked, locating his small luggage and heading for it. "Where else are you going to go on Christmas? You just told me you didn't have plans," I argued.

Alan's hands still twisted in his lap. "I said I didn'thave anywhere to go."

"Same thing," I said. "Grab your jacket and follow me."

I could be a force of nature when I wanted to get my way, and Christmas had sent me an important person. A person I wanted to know.

I showed Alan to one of our guest rooms. "Bathroom in there," I said, motioning to an open door near the bed. "Take your time and freshen up if you want. A nap if you desire, and then meet me back downstairs. Cole won't be home until tomorrow. You and I have cookies to bake and lots of wine to drink."

"You're really going to do this?" he asked. "What about Cole when he comes home?"

"What about him?" I asked. "He loves me, so he'll love this too," I said. "You'll see."

I went back to the kitchen. I heard the shower running and wondered if he'd take a nap as well until I heard him coming down the stairs. "Hi," he said, looking unsure.

"Is red okay?" I asked, pointing at a bottle of wine I'd uncorked to breathe.

"Perfect," he agreed, shrugging his shoulders and looking down at the same clothes he had on when he arrived.

I picked up on the signal. "That will not work," I said, motioning to his expensive clothes. "Follow me again, please."

I led him to mine and Cole's bedroom and dug through a dresser drawer full of my sweats and T-shirts, tossing an adequate choice on the bed. "Those are for me?" he asked, raising his eyebrows in alarm.

"Yep. Not as fancy as you're probably accustomed to, but like I said, you and I are baking cookies," I reminded him. "See you downstairs."

I headed for the door when Alan called my name. "Chad?" I turned to him. "Thank you," he said. "You know, for…"

I interrupted him with my hand held up. "You're very welcome. I'm glad you're here, Alan. Truly."

Alan was on edge at first, but eventually began to tell me more about himself. He left out details about him and Cole, but he did speak warmly of their seven years together. I agreed that seven years was a long time and sympathized with him when he got to the part about leaving Cole.

"I'm not sure why I left him, Chad. I thought I was missing out on something perhaps," he began, using a spatula to move cookies to a cooling rack. "My therapist thinks I had a premature mid-life crisis. I'll admit, turning thirty scared the hell out of me."

"And you loved this other man?" I asked. "Cole mentioned he was also your boss?"

"Classy, right? Truthfully, I don't think I did love him now that I've had the benefit of hindsight. Not that it has been much of a benefit."

"I would never forsake Cole's trust, but I will tell you that he admitted that losing you was awful."

Alan turned around, leaned against the kitchen island, and faced me. "I was a thoughtless human being," he admitted. "Truly horrible."

"I was also left a year ago," I revealed. "And I too was devastated, shocked, sad, bewildered, all the normal stuff people describe, so I understood how Cole felt."

"Someone actually leftyou?"

I laughed him off. "Trust me. All of us, including me, make mistakes when it comes to love. Some are bigger than others, but how do you measure the degree when the results are the same?"

"What I did to Cole was simply gross. He didn't deserve my cruelty."

I placed another sheet of cookies in the oven and reached for my wine. "Can I ask you a direct question?" Alan nodded, crossing his arms defensively. "You mentioned that you came here to ask Cole for a second chance, right?"

"Yes, but obviously, now… well, that seems ridiculous at the moment," he admitted.

"Here's a tough question," I began. "To be fair to you, I'm going to apologize ahead of time for what I'm about to ask you."

"Yikes," he said, grimacing.

"Do you desire a second chance because of how guilty you feel about leaving him for someone else? Perhaps you feel you could make up for your actions so thatyou'd feel better?"

Alan's eyes narrowed as he studied me and I thought I may have overstepped with my observation. However, I felt the question was a fair one. Alan had guilt over his actions, particularly because the man he left Cole for didn't work out. The discovery of how it felt being hurt had come home to roost, in my opinion.

"How old are you?" he asked, chuckling slightly before his eyes filled.

"Old enough to be kinder, I suppose," I replied. "But what do you think Cole truly deserves after three years of suffering and finally coming out the other end? And take me out of the equation," I added.

Alan sat on a barstool and rested his chin on his hands. The emotions crossing his face were sad to witness. He knew what I meant, and it was obvious he hadn't expected the question. Or had he?

"And take you out of it?" he asked. I nodded. He drew invisible circles on the countertop as he thought about my question. "Funny thing is, my therapist asked me the same question. She told me she thought I was trying to save face, running back for security, trying to regain power in a failed love."

"And are you?"

"I'm going to have to add you back into the equation," he confessed. "Because hearing about you and Cole's happiness every time I met up with so-called friends didn't help my decision-making. I wanted what I'd had and couldn't stand that he'd found it with someone else. Pretty gross, right?"

"More like honest," I responded. "Human nature, actually."

"The entire flight down here, I knew what I was doing was wrong," he admitted. "And now that I've met you, Chad… well… I can see that I don't deserve a second chance."

I came to his side and opened my arms for him. He hesitated at first, but I stayed there, encouraging him to accept my caring. After double-checking my face for intent, he fell into my arms and began weeping uncontrollably. I remained silent as he let out his emotions.

I separated myself from him and gazed into his eyes. "How about we figure out how you can get your second chance as Cole's friend?"

"Do you think that's possible?"

"Love is powerful, in my opinion. Sometimes we need to redefine our roles where love is concerned, but it's always a good thing."

Alan gawked at me for a moment after my observation. "God! You remind me of someone. Just now. The words. The way you speak. I swear, it's uncanny."

"I hope the person was someone you liked," I replied. "Because I think you and me are going to be good friends."

His eyes narrowed, a sparkle of recognition escaping them. "No wonder Cole loves you, Chad. You're so similar to Jack without being his best friend."

"Tell me about Jack," I asked, curious for another impression of a man I'd never met personally.

Alan smirked like he'd discovered something important and looked past me, toward the ocean. I suspected he may be recalling Jack.

"Truthfully, Jack was unlike any person I've ever met. Until now."