Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

MARGO

His brow pinches together, and he staggers back slightly. "This isn't the time for a sick joke like that."

I look him straight in the eyes so he can see how honest I am. "I'm not making it up. It's not a joke."

He shakes his head. "No. You're lying. You would've told me. That's not the kind of thing people keep a secret." His pupils dilate like they're swallowing the entire world.

I lower my head. "I haven't even told Annie."

He wipes his face with the back of his hand, and his eyes glaze over. "It's not true. You don't look sick."

That's the whole point. I try so hard not to look sick. I push through the pain, the nausea, the fatigue. "I am. I'm going to die."

He backs up, looking at me like I just stabbed him. "No."

"I have stage four Leukemia." I reach for him, trying to offer some sort of comfort. "I'm sorry."

"No." He flinches away. "It's not true."

"It is. I had it three years ago and it came back, but this time it's worse. "

He shakes his head then turns to leave, but only makes it one step before he pivots, facing me again. "You don't get to die!"

My heart races, and I dig my heels into the ground. How dare he say that, making it sound like I have a say in any of this? "I don't get to choose!"

There's a moment where we stare at each other, nothing but the silence screaming between us as I wait for him to dare challenge me again, for him to act like I can magically take back my diagnosis.

My chest burns as my boiling blood surges through my body.

His wet eyes roam over me, but I can't read his thoughts. I can't tell if he believes me or not.

I wait for him to say something else. To ask me questions, but all he does is slowly back away and leave the room without saying another word.

As soon as he's out of the door, my face crumbles and I sit, burying my head in my arms. I never meant for this to get so out of hand. Annie is never going to forgive me.

And now, my secret is out.

Annie is gone. She left school, and she isn't answering my messages or calls. I can't focus during my next class. I haven't seen Daniel either. My thoughts are torn between the two of them.

Right before my last class, I get ahold of Mama who lets me know Annie came home early from school with a "headache," and she'll be picking me up instead.

I wish the day was over already because I know this is only the beginning. I still have to face Annie. There's no getting around it, and I'm not ready.

Mama's car is in line out front, and I climb into it. The first thing she does is reach over and check the temperature on my forehead.

"Hello to you too," I say.

She pulls her hand back. "Sorry. You look like you don't feel well. I'm worried you and Annie are getting sick."

I shrug. "I'm okay."

"Annie went straight to bed when she got home," she says, waiting for her turn to leave the parking lot. "I tried to bring her something to eat, but the door was locked. You girls know I hate it when you lock the door."

I rest my head back and close my eyes. "I'll talk to her." I'll figure out how to make this all better. That's what I do, right? I fix things. I don't make them worse.

"Did something happen at school? Did she find out—"

"No. She doesn't know yet." I don't want to tell Mama what happened. It would only make her worry, and that wouldn't help the situation. "School was fine." I need to switch the conversation, steer it in another direction far away from me and Annie. "Have you called the hospital?"

She quiets down right away. "I haven't had time."

"You've had plenty of time."

"I've been busy."

"Come on," I say, peering over at her. "You've been baking so much that you're sharing with the neighbors." This week alone she's taken brownies and cookies to the Jackman kids.

"And they like it."

I raise an eyebrow. "You said you'd think about going back."

"I know," she says, tightening her grip on the steering wheel. "But I'm not ready yet. I don't want to do anything that'll distract me right now."

I need to figure out a way to remind her how much she loved it. I'm worried that if she doesn't have anything else to fixate on, she'll get depressed after I die. She needs to remember who she was before my illness. I know that's the only way she'll be able to move on.

I don't argue with her, but I start scheming. Maybe I can trick her into going to the labor and delivery wing at the hospital. That wouldn't be too hard, would it? I know when she sees those little babies, she won't be able to deny the urge to go back.

It's not long before we're pulling into the driveway. I head inside right away, hoping if I go straight to Annie, it'll be like ripping off a Band-Aid. Still, I inch down the hallway, dreading the disappointment and sadness I'll see in Annie's face.

The door is still locked, but our lock is a joke. It can be turned with a butter knife or fingernail. I unlock it, and step inside the dark room. Annie is in bed with the covers wrapped around her tightly. Her long hair is wild, scattering over the pillow.

"Annie?"

There's no response, but I know she isn't asleep. Annie is a windmill when she sleeps. She wouldn't still be under the covers. She'd be hanging halfway over the side of the bed.

I sit on the corner of her bed. "Annie, I'm sorry."

"You knew?" she whispers.

"Yes, but I didn't know this would happen."

She rolls over and glares at me with puffy eyes. "Of course this would happen. Everyone always likes you more than me. Why would this be any different? "

"Annie, that's not true. I told him if he got to know you, he'd realize how great you are."

Her eyes widen, and her bottom lip wobbles. "You told him I liked him? How could you do that? I specifically told you not to get involved. Don't you listen to what I say?"

I fidget with my hands, not knowing what else to do with them. "I was just trying to help."

Her face lightens a shade. "What exactly did you do?"

"All I did was ask him to meet you at the bookstore."

Her jaw drops, and a tear cascades down her cheek. "I can't believe you did that to me! Can't you see how humiliating this is? You let me gush about him for hours when you knew the truth!"

"I swear, I didn't know then."

Annie pushes the covers off herself and stands up. "You really expect me to believe that?"

"It's true. I just found out today. To be honest, I didn't think he was good enough for you at first, but after I got to know him, I realized I was wrong. I wanted you two to end up together—"

"You always think you know what's best for everyone else, but you don't! You had no right to get involved." She shakes her head, tears pouring now. "You just couldn't help yourself. You always have to be the puppet master, but I'm not your puppet!"

My head pounds, and my stomach turns. "That's not true! I did this for you. I always let you have your way."

"Really? Because I wanted you to stay out of this, but you didn't! Daniel likes you—perfect Margo. How am I supposed to compete with that?"

"You don't have to!" Tears are flooding my eyes too. I don't want to fight with Annie. This isn't how I want her to remember us. "I already told Daniel we can't be together."

Her breath catches, and her head tilts. " Can't? That makes it sound like you want to be with him, but I'm stopping you."

"That's not what I meant!"

"Really? So you don't like him?"

My heartbeat pounds in my ears. Why is this question so hard to answer? It's supposed to slip out easy and absolute, not be forced. "Of course not."

She looks away, blinking as she shakes her head. "You never used to lie to me, Margo, but now it's all you do."

"Annie, I didn't—"

"You what? You didn't think about how I'd feel?" She bites her lip to stop it from wobbling.

All of my energy has been zapped out of me. I said I didn't want to make this worse and somehow I did. "I'm sorry."

She waves me off and pushes past me out of the room.

Sobs bubble out of me, and I hug my knees close. I have to fix this. I have to make it up to her, but I don't know how. Guilt creeps into my head when I think about the other secret I'm keeping from her. I have to tell her soon, but this is not the right time.

My phone buzzes in my pocket. I take it out and shake my head. It's Daniel, of all people. How am I supposed to answer his call right now? I can't, not after the fight with Annie. I can only imagine how she'd react if she heard me talking to him.

I set the phone down and bury my head under Annie's pillow.

There's only one solution I can think of to help the situation: I have to stay away from Daniel.