Chapter 3

Madison

W hile Avar took away the trash and the glass box, I was left alone, unsupervised. I immediately looked around the room, searching for the way out. Avar might be greed personified, unable to let go, but I had things to do back in my world. I wasn't going to sit here for decades, waiting for my soul to move on.

There was only one path here, the one that led downwards. I followed it as my only choice.

As perfectly round as the mountain was on top, it spread out in every direction downward. The path that spiraled around it curved and turned, bypassing valleys and ridges on the mountainside. Occasionally, it widened into a platform. Other times, the path narrowed to a bridge over a gorge.

One thing remained constant, however. Shelves and cabinets lined the path on both sides every step of the way. I had mostly vague ideas about the things displayed. Some looked like rocks or minerals. Others resembled jewelry or dishes. There were books and scrolls of all sizes, jars filled with weird liquids, and dried, creepy, gnarly things that I tried not to look at too closely.

At the same time, a part of me wished to stop and examine some of the items in detail. I almost wished Avar was here for me to ask questions about his exhibits. But if I lingered, I risked eventually becoming an exhibit myself, with my dead body sealed into a glass box and displayed along this path too.

Crossing a bridge over a deep gorge with a bubbly creek running deep below, I realized I was both torturously thirsty and in dire need of a bathroom. Even without knowing exactly how long I'd spent unconscious, it'd been a while since I ate or drank anything. It'd been even longer since I'd last used a bathroom.

The creek was too far below for me to get some water to drink, and ideally, I would've liked to pee first before drinking. Continuing down the path, I kept looking for anything resembling a bathroom while also fearing that there might not be one at all.

Did deadly sins pee? I doubted it. Especially since Avar seemed to be missing the essential organ to perform that function.

I came upon a cave in the wall. It was dark inside, but the need for a bathroom became unbearable, urging me to explore. Sadly, I found no toilet here either. As far as I could see, the cave was filled with things that Avar probably hadn't had the time to put on display yet.

Rolls of hides, fabrics, and rugs had been leaned against the smoothly polished walls of the spacious cave. Trunks, boxes, and bags piled up, filled with books, carvings, and artifacts. Crates with dishes and scrolls stood around, leaving only a narrow path to maneuver around them .

"The Sin of Greed is an honest-to-God hoarder," I muttered to myself.

It seemed fitting if Avar was driven by the need to possess.

For me, the call of nature grew increasingly more intense. Finding a bathroom was a priority before I could even think about an escape. Except that sadly, there wasn't one on Avar's mountain.

Pressing my legs together in desperation, I eyed a wide red-and-black vase by the wall.

What would be worse? Using the vase that looked antique, expensive, and possibly cursed as a chamber pot? Or peeing in my pants?

"What are you doing here?" a deep voice boomed behind me, almost making the decision for me. Startled, I nearly peed my pants right then and there.

"Avar?" I turned around to face the beast of a sin.

His massive shape blocked the entrance. But despite blocking the outside light, he illuminated the dark cave with his own glow. My breath hitched at the sight of him. It was impossible not to stare as he hovered in the entrance, his horns almost touching the high ceiling, his wide shoulders blocking the way, his tentacles spreading along the wall on each side of him. Truly, human imagination had no bounds to come up with a creature like that. I didn't even think of him as a monster this time. He looked more epic than terrifying.

"Why are you in here?" he demanded. "I was looking for you up at the top where I left you."

"Was I expected to stay put, like a good ‘exhibit?'" A hefty dose of sarcasm filtered into my voice. "If so, you should know that it doesn't work for live humans. Unlike objects or dead bodies, we tend to move around."

He narrowed his eyes. "I have plenty of means to restrain you. "

Apprehension trickled down my spine. Was he seriously considering tying me up?

"What would you prefer?" he inquired casually. "A cage, a leash, or the ball with the chain around your leg?"

"How about a word?" Somehow, I managed to sound calm.

"A word?" he repeated, looking confused.

"Yes. Next time, just tell me where you expect me to be, and I may even listen if you ask nicely."

"Hmh." He moved back his shoulders, pondering my words.

"Meanwhile..." I cleared my throat. "Do you happen to have a toilet around here?"

"What kind of a toilet?"

"The kind I could pee in."

"Pee?"

For a centuries-old being, he seemed clueless about this topic. But if the sins didn't use a bathroom, that was to be expected, wasn't it?

"Humans pee," I explained. "And...do other things in bathrooms."

"Oh, a bathroom!" He perked up. "You need to use a bathroom."

Enthusiastically, he headed to the closest wall, then shoved some crates and trunks out of the way.

I followed him. "You know, if you intend to keep me around, there are many more things I'll need. For one, I'm very thirsty."

"Thirsty?" He gave me a glance over his shoulder. "So, you need to drink water and expel it at the same time?"

I nodded. "Funny, isn't it? Humans really are a nuisance when you think about it. Physical bodies need so much care. I'll have to eat and drink several times a day, and I tend to get unbearably cranky when I skip a meal. I'll need a bathroom close by, a bed to sleep in every night, clothes, shoes, soaps, showers, hairbrushes, toothpaste, nail clippers... I'm way too high maintenance, compared to the other things in your collection." I sighed sympathetically. "It'd really be so much easier for you to just send me back."

His beard shifted, its long slim appendages arranging into a pattern that betrayed a smile underneath.

"Clever little human, aren't you? Do you really think a small inconvenience will be enough for me to give you up?"

Sadly, an ancient being proved not that easily fooled.

"I'll make you a bathroom," he promised.

He splayed a hand on the wall of the cave. Ripples ran from his fingers, making the hard, solid rock look like it was liquid. When he pushed, the rock gave in. He stepped forward, and the mountain retreated from around him, forming a cave.

"Wow..." I exhaled, poking a finger into the remaining wall that was as hard as ever. "How did you do it?"

He shrugged. "It's my mountain. I can do whatever I want with it."

Inside the newly formed cave, the rock rose in the middle of the floor, forming a toilet bowl.

"And there it is." Avar pointed at it proudly. "A bathroom with a toilet." He ran the tip of his right tentacle around the bowl, forming a ring of designs that looked like carvings around the bowl.

"What's the function of that?" I pointed at the designs.

"No function, just beauty." He tilted his head, inspecting his handy work. "It's prettier this way, don't you think?"

As if molded from gray and red granite, the toilet really looked stunning. It was by far the most beautiful toilet bowl I'd ever seen. I took a step closer and peeked inside it. There was a shallow opening in the middle of the bowl, but no water and obviously no plumbing .

"Sadly, this won't work," I declared.

"Why not?"

"There is no way to flush it. Where is the...uhm, waste supposed to go?"

He huffed a deep laugh. "In the ether, sweetheart. Don't you worry, it will all go in the ether."

"How convenient," I noted, unbuttoning my jeans.

Beggars couldn't be choosers. I had to go so badly, I contemplated desecrating a vase from his collection just a minute ago. At least this one, Avar claimed, was a toilet.

I turned around, ready to sit on it, and froze.

Avar remained at the entrance to the new cave. Leaning against the wall, his arms folded across his chest, he looked expectant, as if ready for a show.

"What are you doing?" I yanked my pants back up.

"I've never seen anyone using a toilet before," he explained excitedly. "In the viewing box that Mother gave us, humans talk about going to the bathroom sometimes. They show toilets too. But they never actually use them."

"Yeah... Well, I'm not going to use it with you watching, either."

"Why not?"

"Because people don't pee in front of other people if they can help it." Then I thought about my roommate in college who never closed the bathroom door, no matter what she did in there. "Well, most people don't," I added. "Or at least, I don't. Can you leave? Please?"

He grunted, looking disappointed, then turned around and finally stomped away.

Relieved, I finally yanked my pants off and used the toilet. When I was done, the bowl remained as clean and dry as before I started.

"Ether," I marveled. "How cool is that? "

When I exited the bathroom, Avar was nowhere to be found.

"Avar?"

"Over here!" his deep voice echoed from around the bend of the path.

I found him in another cave just around the corner. This one was shallow, more like a niche in the mountainside than a cave. The path ran under it with a set of stairs leading up to the platform in front of the cave. Both the cave and the platform were enclosed in a glass dome with a one-eighty-degree view of the valley below.

When I approached the glass in front of the cave, it caved in and parted, letting me enter.

"This is stunning..." I gazed over the valley below that was flooded with sunlight.

"You like it?" Avar seemed pleased. He stood over a wide bed inside the cave. "Will this be an acceptable place for you to sleep?"

Puffy comforters and furs piled on top of a rock-bed platform.

"Did you just make it? All of it?"

"The cave and the glass canopy, yes. But the bedding is from my collection. Griffin fur and banshee feathers make for the most comfortable sleep."

"Are you saying that griffins and banshees are real?"

"In some worlds, they are. They used to be found in your world too. But that was very long ago, long before they even started calling me a mortal sin."

That brought another question to my mind.

"How old are you, exactly?"

"Exactly?" He chuckled. "Greed is as old as humanity itself. Do you want to know how long it's been since I got a name? Or how long I've been called a sin? "

"It doesn't really matter, does it?" I thought out loud. What difference did his age make in my situation, anyway? "Either way, you're incomprehensibly old, right?"

"Right." He smiled. "Ancient."

I lowered my butt onto the edge of the bed, sinking into the cushy bedding. It felt comfy and so inviting. My eyelids dropped as a warm wave of sleepiness washed over me.

But how could I sleep if I had an escape to plot?

"I'll move the bathroom closer..." Avar's voice drifted to me through the haze of exhaustion, "...and divert the mountain creek to it, so you'll always have access to water. For food, I'll have to talk to Gul. And Sup has enough clothes to dress an army, which would make it the best-dressed army across all words, too, by the way."

"Who are Gul and Sup? More of your brothers?" I guessed.

"Right. Gula, the Sin of Gluttony, and Superbia, the Sin of Pride. For a while there, you humans loved using Latin to name everything."

"We sure did," I agreed, struggling to keep my eyes open. Maybe I could take a quick catnap? Just to rest my eyes for a minute or two? "I got the feeling you don't get along with your brothers all that well. You kicked Invi out. And you won't even let any of them meet me."

"I loathe anyone poking their noses into my business. But when I need help, my brothers are the first ones I go to. My sisters are useless."

"Oh, right, you have sisters, too, and a mom."

"Mother is never around." He crouched by the bed, and I realized I'd tilted sideways at some point and now rested my cheek on the softest pillow ever. "You need some rest. You look tired."

"Do mortal sins ever rest?" I asked .

"Of course we do. But some of us rest more than others. Just ask my brother Ace." He chuckled.

"Ace must be Sloth," I murmured, letting my eyelids drop.

"That's right. Acedia, the Sin of Sloth." He pulled a soft fur blanket over me.

Sleep hovered close, and I had no strength to resist it. It looked like I'd have to work on my escape plan tomorrow, after a good rest.

One thought wouldn't let me rest, however.

I popped my eyes open.

"Avar?"

He was on his way out already. "I'll get you some water. You said you were thirsty."

"I am but... Can I ask you for a favor, please?"

He seemed accommodating right now, and I had to use the moment. Who knew what mood he might be in next?

His brow furrowed in a frown, however.

"If it's about letting you go—" he started, his voice dipping in warning.

"No. It's not about that." He'd made it clear he wouldn't release me. If I wanted to go back, I had to find my own way. "It's about my life back home. Is there a way to let my mom and my friends know what happened to me? Can I send them a message?"

He tilted his head. "A message from beyond the grave?"

"But that's the thing, you see? I haven't died. There'd be no dead body, no note, nothing for them to have closure. I have a restaurant with eleven employees. They need to know why I didn't show up for work. And my mom..." I swallowed hard, struggling to hold it together. "I'm the only family she has. It'll kill her not knowing."

He moved his jaw, scratching his chin.

"Please," I begged. "I can write a quick note if there is any way for you to deliver it. A note wouldn't be for you, so it's not like you'd be giving up your possession, right? It'd be for my mom to tell her that I'm well."

"Are you planning to tell her the truth? How do you envision it? Do you really believe it would make your mother feel better to learn that her daughter is in Purgatory for the rest of her current lifetime?"

A note like that would probably make her think that I didn't just disappear without a trace but also completely lost my mind in the process.

I released a heavy sigh, disheartened. As Avar left my little cave of glass and rock, I remained sitting in bed, racked by worry strong enough to chase away the sleep and exhaustion.

He returned just a few moments later.

"Here." He handed me a glass of water with one of his tentacles, then placed an antique writing desk by the wall and a chair he carried in his hands and his other tentacle.

I gulped the water, watching him opening the hatch of the desk and arranging a vial of ink, a quill, and a sheet of paper.

"Write the note as your last will and testament," he said. "Settle your affairs, because you're certainly not returning to that life."

I drew in a shaky breath, fighting the heavy feeling of gloom settling over me.

"We'll see about that," I repeated in my head over and over until I could breathe again.

"Will you deliver it?" I clarified.

"That's the least I can do," he muttered into his beard.