Chapter 19

Chapter

Nineteen

Vyk

I watched Fiona slip under my blanket and flip her body to face away from me, tucking her bent arm under her head. Was she truly planning to sleep? I took determined steps toward her, stopping when I reached the side of the bed. Now that I stood over her peaceful form, her body rising and falling as she breathed deeply, I wasn’t sure what to do.

What had I expected her to do after requiring her to spend the night with me? I had promised that I would not force myself on her, and it was true that I had no intention of doing that. I had never used force for a female’s pleasure, and I never would. But I had never thought Fiona would arrive and crawl into my bed to sleep.

I stood watching her, unable to think of a single thing to do in response. I could get in bed next to her, but I was too restless to contemplate sleep. She had made me restless. Anticipating her arrival, worrying she would not come, and then reacting to her unexpected touch had left me wired and jumpy.

I could sit by the fire until my nerves calmed. And then what? Would I watch her sleep? Would I sleep in a chair like a parent keeping an eye on a child? I grunted at this, not enjoying the reminder that I was old enough to be Fiona’s father. Since Drexians lived longer than humans and aged slower, I could probably be her grandfather, but that was something I would never admit.

I lifted a hand, reaching for the golden hair that spilled across the dark pillow. As much as I wanted to touch it, run my fingers through it, tangle my hands in it, I hesitated. Fiona had no idea that she drove me to the edge of reason. She had no clue that thoughts of her consumed my mind. I needed to keep it that way.

It was all too clear that she did not share my feelings, and that she was only in my quarters to fulfill her end of the bargain. She had no interest in shedding her beliefs about me or discovering that I might not be as cruel or brutal as the tales would lead her to believe. And I could not bear the rejection of another female, another human who found me lacking. The battles might not break me, but Fiona rejecting me would.

I snatched my hand back and curled it into a fist. It had been so long since my tribute bride had rejected me and chosen to be unmatched, but the years had not dulled the pain. My heart twisted as I tried to purge the dark memories that rushed to the surface. The years should have blurred the memories of the beautiful human and the fear in her eyes as she’d shaken her head and declared that she would never be my mate. But they hadn’t. Her face was just as clear in my mind, and the stabbing pain in my chest was just as fresh, still making my breath catch as her words rang in my ears.

I pressed a hand to my heart and turned away. I had barely known the woman who had been chosen for me back then when I was a young, brash Inferno Force warrior. All I’d known was that she was beautiful and desirable and would be eager to be my mate, like all human women were when presented with a brave Drexian warrior. I almost choked on a bitter laugh. I had been painfully young.

“Maybe age has not made you much wiser,” I grumbled under my breath as I glanced back at the woman I’d tricked into my bed.

The only glimmer of hope was that Fiona was nothing like the woman who had supposedly been my ideal match. For one, Fiona would never have been a tribute bride. She was too focused on her career, too high up in her planet’s military, too connected. But that was not what drew me to her. Fiona did not look at me with fear in her eyes. She never had. She had never trembled in my presence or looked at me like I was a monster.

She had looked at me like she would like to kill me, but I preferred hate to fear. Hate was passion. I could work with hate.

The pain in my chest was not only an ache, but my thoughts continued to swirl. I would not be able to sleep like this, and watching another sleep was not something I enjoyed, especially if it only reminded me what I would rather be doing with them. What I had sworn not to even attempt.

Fiona’s breath had deepened and lengthened. She was asleep. I did not want to dwell on how the female could fall asleep in my bed without a second thought. As glad as I was that she did not fear me, this made me think I might be going too soft.

I strode to the door, pressing my hand to the side panel and stepping into the hallway after it glided open. I did not pause as I took purposeful steps through the silent corridors of the slumbering school, jogging down twisting stairways and keeping my gaze fixed ahead as I crossed stone bridges between towers. My boots echoed off the vaulted ceilings, the sound dissipating once I passed through the main hall and its soaring ceiling.

I did not flick my gaze to the stone arch above the entrance to the School of Battle. It might not have been my school when I had been a cadet, but I knew it well. I had many Blade friends who had challenged me on the sparring mats. They were one of the reasons I had been ready for the challenges of Inferno Force. Between my battle skills and my engineering prowess, I had been a formidable asset to the elite fighting team.

It was muscle memory that led me to the tall, arched doorway. It was not that sparring mats I needed now. I stepped inside the darkened room, my heavy breath echoing back to me. I breathed in the distinctive scent of chalk and sweat, as memories from my cadet days rushed over me. Brushing my hand across the lighting panel, I gazed at the climbing walls towering over me. My fingers twitched in anticipation of gripping the holds.

When I climbed, there was no space in my brain to think of anything but the next hold. There was no time to dwell on regrets when one misstep could send me hurtling to the ground. There was no thinking about the woman asleep in my bed, wondering what I had been thinking, or why I would even consider trusting another human with my heart .

I plunged my hands into the round holes in the wall and waited for powdered chalk to be diffused onto them. Then I pulled them out and clapped them as I crossed to the wall, sending tiny white particles flying into the air. Time to stop thinking.

I swung my arm onto a high hold and hoisted my body flat against the wall. “Climb on.”