7. Chapter 6

The sun has not risen, but the morning birds wake me with song. Shut up. I want to say to them. As I walk back towards the castle, my back and shoulders ache from a nearly sleepless night on the hard ground. When it comes into view, I can"t bear to enter for fear of what or who I will find. So, I find anything to fill my time. I check the stables, cleaning out the stalls in almost darkness. When I finish, I wipe the sweat from my brow as the sun rises, sending its beams down to warm my face.

It is no surprise that the men do not give up their search. I"m glad when it"s not Kirian who comes riding down the hill, Goose and the other horses in tow. Still, I make myself scarce. I watch from the northern gate as a man fills a bucket from the well, letting the horses drink, then takes a drink for himself before walking back to join the search party. His head swiveling back and forth as a well-trained soldier should.

Looking down at myself, I notice that my shirt is muddied, and my boots have hay and manure stuck to the bottoms from this morning"s activity. My black hair cascades down my back, and when I try to run my hands through it, they catch on to the pieces that have grown together. I glance towards the castle, but there is no way I"m going there. Instead, I head for the lake.

I peel my clothes and rinse them in the water. Knowing that the guards only have access to the western forest, I feel rather safe as I hang my clothes on the branch of an elm near the shallow part of the lake where I have bathed many times.

Even though it"s ice cold, I much prefer this to being anywhere near Father. Besides, the cold relaxes my aching muscles.

I begin to scrub my scalp, using a nearby yucca plant and lathering its soapy interior to cleanse my long hair—a routine that I have done many times when I did not want to bother the servants or boil my own water for a bath.

The task becomes therapeutic, slowing the racing thoughts of what might happen to Father and what might happen to me for not telling Kirian what I know. Or the thought that I can"t seem to shake, the one that I might actually be okay with, the one where Father is caught and killed, and I am rejoicing, relieved.

What"s wrong with me?I almost say out loud as I scrub the dirt behind my ears.

"I waited for you." My hands instinctively go to my chest, concealing myself under the water. Slowly, I kick my feet to turn myself around to where a man stands, the water barely missing his boots as it laps onto shore.

Kirian holds another envelope in his hands, the same color and shape as the last, another search warrant.

He inspects the leg of my trousers as they hang upon the branch, touching them lightly with the back of his hand. I scan the horizon, searching for anyone who may be nearby. "You didn"t come back. You would rather stay out in the cold all night rather than-"he cuts himself off, his attention still on the clothes that occupy the branch. Then, he thinks of what to say next. "Surely you could have found a way to avoid him without doing that." He looks at me expectantly, but I have no answer. After all, I am naked and trapped. These two things occupy my mind entirely, making it impossible to think of anything else. He seems unbothered.

When I work up the courage to respond, it comes out strained. "What do you want?" I call out so that he can hear me.

His shoulders move up and down with a laugh I cannot hear from here. Then he looks around at our surroundings before his eyes land upon me again. "Your father said you were peculiar." He smiles at me. Peculiar? Father chose his words carefully not to raise suspicion. What he really wanted to say was an abomination, murderer, disgusting, just as he said to me that night.

I do not reply. He can think of whatever he wants. The people of Thorn Row do not care about truth or lies, instead they merely believe whatever people tell them without a second thought. "Do you know where he is, by the way?" he asks. His eyes never leave mine, and I wonder if he is trying to make me feel uncomfortable on purpose. I shake my head in answer, sinking further into the water until it rests just below my nose.

My body shivers as I look at him, pleading with my eyes. Looking between him and my clothes dangling in the wind, they seem so far away under the eyes of Kirian Bear.

Someone whistles from a distance. Kirian"s shoulders straighten, but his attention does not waiver from his target, me. He stands perfectly still. Even the water seems to settle as he pins me under his gaze as if he can"t look away. I"ll make him look away, make him leave, but I only have one place to go, down.

I suck in as much air into my lungs as I can. I, too, can play this game and might even win. A flash of light reflects off the whites of his eyes, and that"s the last thing I see before I go under.

Water displaces as I push myself further and further until my backside hits something solid. At least twelve feet under by now, it"s darker and colder but tolerable.

I count to sixty. Again. And again. Starting my count over, I get to forty-five before returning to the surface. Victory is mine. He is nowhere in sight.

On the way back to House Luz, I throw my hair into a braid as I walk. I look down at Kirian"s tracks, where his weight has left indents in the dirt in the shape of his boots. I have to stretch out my stride to match his, and in some places, I leap from one to the other. They lead me to the stables, stopping at Goose before continuing.

I do not follow any longer. Instead, I lay on the hay bales and tip my head back until it rests against the post behind me. My eyes close as I listen to the steady in and out of Goose"s massive chest, to the pulling of grass that one of the horses has discovered between the gaps of oak, and to the shifts of weight beneath their hooves. These are sounds that are not Shadow or man, sounds that distract me from my thoughts as I drift from consciousness.

My head falls forward, jolting me from sleep. I only drifted into a dream for a moment. I can"t recall its contents. Goose and his friends warn me as someone approaches. I"m to my feet in an instant as Kirian opens the stalls and readies the horses for departure. "Did I interrupt your nap?" he side-eyes me as he heads towards the stall. Thankfully, he looks away as embarrassment warms my cheeks.

"No, I was just here to see Goose." I look between him and the large animal with a polite smile. I must have slept longer than I thought.

"I"m sure he enjoys the company." He brushes some dirt from Goose"s back. Leave. The Shadows whisper into my ear. I ignore them. "Do you ride?" he asks, turning his attention to me.

"Not really," I say. Any more I should have added.

"I saw your sisters pass through Thorn Row. They had the horses and, if I"m not mistaken, took one of your Fathers" carriages. The other one is always parked outside of Gale"s, your brother, I assume." Gale"s is a place that employs beautiful, expensive women. That"s what Adriel told me anyway.

"Yes." is all I can say.

"Do you miss them?" I bite my lip as I think of a response. The horses, yes. My siblings, no. Not really.

"Yes" I decide to say, he doesn"t have to know what I mean.

"That was a lie." He pushes his brows together slightly. I"m sure my face is nothing less than shocked at his observation. Fibbing here and there is nothing new to me, but lately, the amount of truth that leaves my lips has become fewer and fewer. Life is easier with lies—or perhaps easier when the only person I was lying to was myself.

"No, I don"t miss them. They left us." They leftme. My fists tighten at my sides.

He shakes his head to acknowledge my candor before changing the subject. "Stay inside at night, Katsia." He says as he takes a few steps, closing the distance between us. He reaches into the inside of his coat and pulls out the envelope from earlier. The image of him staring me down at the lake pops into my head, I push it out quickly, but my face is already red, I"m sure.

He holds out the paper for me to take. He"s too close, I think to myself. I cringe as we accidentally graze each other in the exchange. His thumb rough against my own. I practically snatch my hand away with the envelope. Silently praying that he did not notice the action.

"For the north," I say aloud as I read its contents, he looks down at the search warrant in my hand.

"More animals have been found dead, and we found tracks leading that way. Get inside at night, I mean it." he lets out a breath. "Listen, I"ve seen the damage. It"s like no wolf I"ve seen before." My eyes do not leave the papers in my hand. The damage? I shudder as my imagination gets the best of me. I picture Father tearing animals limb from limb.

"Yeah." I almost whisper my agreement. "I won"t," I assure him, but going back into the castle is where the real danger is. Sleeping in the den of the beast, if only he knew. But if I say anything now, it may mean my life if Father were to figure out it was me who turned him in.

He loved Adriel, and look what he did to her. Imagine what he would do to someone he cares so little for. I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat.

Kirian takes his hat off and runs his hands through the blonde strands. "Let me teach you how to use that bow of mine." He says coolly. I convinced myself long ago that the weapons left behind were meant to be mine if the men never came searching for them. And no one ever did, the bow included.

He clocks the half-smile I stupidly let creep to my face and gives his signature wide grin in return. "Or that dagger you tuck into the side of your boot." He points down at my feet. "Did you steal that too?" he continues, mocking me.

"I don"t steal." I lie again. "Besides, you never asked for it back," I add.

"Well, if that"s the case…" he holds his hand outright, palm up. "I"ll be taking it back now." I almost jump back from the sudden movement.

I hate to admit that I"ve grown attached to the bow, and I won"t be giving it back anytime soon. Besides, it"s my only one. I guess they learned their lesson after the first one disappeared. "I"ll challenge you for it," I blurt. This will allow me to keep the bow if I win, that is. And I don"t plan on losing. I watched all of Cedric"s friends fail miserably at their silly competitions. Kirian can"t be much better.

Shocked, he steps back, crossing his arm in front of him as he contemplates. "Hmm." He coos, pretending like he hasn"t already made up his mind. I have to keep myself from rolling my eyes. "Deal." He finally says.

The next day, Kirian arrives back at the castle early before his men, leaving them to search without him. "First, I"ll give you an easy one." He says, placing a target a few feet away. The horses watch us from the stables. "Nearest to the middle wins round one." I"ve already won round one, the lake. The second win was when he agreed to the challenge. This, here, is the third round, but he doesn"t know that.

"You first," I say timidly. All part of the plan, of course.

Without argument, he marks a line on the ground with the toe of his boot. Then, he straightens his back, knocks an arrow, and draws his bow. His large chest widens with the intake of air, and on the exhale, he releases. Bullseye. Kirian gives me a cocky side-long glance as he pulls the bow down from his chin. I suspected he was good, and he should be anyway. Being trained in weaponry is a requirement for The Guard. I pay him no attention as I step to the line.

He only takes a few steps away, but not far enough. He stands behind me as I take my stance—too close again. Over my shoulder, I push my chin out in a silent gesture for him to move back. He puts his hands up in surrender and takes a few backward steps. There, now I can concentrate.

Needing him to think he has the upper hand, I pull the arrow back with ease, the way I have done hundreds of times, but this time, I make sure to aim just slightly lower than the red circle, just beneath Kirian"s arrow. He can win this battle because I"m about to win the war.

"Too bad," he says as he inspects the two arrows. "Just a little low." I give him my best look of disappointment. He grins, pulls them from the target, and walks them back to me. "1-0," he points between us.

He holds out my arrow to me. Kirian gives me a strange look as I take it, one I can"t quite place, then he shakes his head and walks past me into the trees, giving me no choice but to follow.

He explains the next challenge as we go. "This one will be a distance shot" he takes a left towards the lake. My heart skips a beat, but I keep his pace. "I saw something that caught my eye at the lake yesterday." He says over his shoulder at me. Caught his eye? What is he playing at? I was at the lake, naked, in the water. He must be teasing me, getting in my head, but I will not let him.

"Yeah?" I decided to play along. "What did you see?" no hint of jest in my voice. He laughs anyway. His large shoulders bouncing up and down as we reach the shoreline.

"I"m glad you asked." He stops abruptly, almost sending me crashing into his backside. My last collision with Kirian Bear resulted in a headache that lasted me all day. Stepping to the side to avoid him, I look up at him with the twist of my head. So tall. I follow his eyes. There on the other side, just past the little cove where I bathed just yesterday, is a scrap of fabric. A lighter green than the muted colors of the coming fall. The tail end of the fabric lifts slightly as a gentle breeze drifts by it.

"Me first?" he asks, but he is already lining up the shot before I can answer. He takes the same breath and releases it when he fires. The arrow zooms over the water, nearly hitting a small wave before gliding upwards again, headed straight for its target, but he miscalculated.

The wind is not as strong as he thought, causing him to narrowly miss to the right. The fabric gets pushed to the side when the feathers attached at the end of the arrow hit the weeds on which it was caught.

Green waves of fabric float through the sky, the wind carrying it to the field nearby.

Without a second thought, I reach behind me, pulling an arrow from my quiver. I knock it, darkness blurs the outside of my vision, allowing me to narrow in on the target. The Shadows make their presence known "now," one of them says. I loosen my fingers. I hear the click of my arrow releasing from the weapon. My arrow grabs the fabric, sending it further into the field. Before descending, the red fletching sticking out from the ground towards the sky, the fabric now pinned to Stone.

"I saw your arms drop," Kirian says from behind me, taking my attention away from the arrow. What? That"s not the response I was hoping to get, I look back at Kirian, confused. My arms are still up, my hands clutching the grip. "You purposely aimed below my arrow." He looks towards the castle, where we aimed at a target only a few minutes ago. I lower my arms slowly. I"ve been caught.

"You, you hustled me!" he says excitedly. Why is he happy? He lost.

"What does that mean?" I ask him, a little embarrassed that I do not know. His smile does not fade, but he runs his hands through his hair in frustration not aimed at me.

"It means you tricked me. I was suspicious after the first shot. Thought I was just imagining things." He chuckles. "You win." He looks at the arrow once more in the field and shakes his head. "Keep it." He throws his arm in the air in defeat.

We walk back in a strange sort of calm silence. I make sure to walk behind him so that he doesn"t leave my eyesight. He stops right at the tree line. I take a step further as I peer over his shoulder, wondering why we have stopped. I look down at the stables that are still full. His men should be back by now. Kirian leans up against a tree and takes a long look at me, I shrug my shoulders and push past him. He grabs my arm, and a very serious look takes over his face. Shit.I know that look.

"Why were you talking to Claire?" he asks. I have never heard that name in my life.

"Who is Claire?" I pull away from his grip and take a step away from him. I don"t like serious conversations. They never end in my favor. Medla telling me how important it is not to be seen. Adriel sitting me down to explain the importance of reputation. They all end with a rule. So many rules to follow.

"The woman that you ran from in Thorn Row, the seer," he tells me. I look down at his hand, which stays firmly on my wrist. That"s what the robed woman, Claire, was doing for that woman. Can she really see the future? There is no time to think of what she might have seen in my own. No, I"m much too furious.

"You saw me come into town, you followed me to that woman, Claire. Then you stalked me to Center Square. Now you"re here?" I ask him. Coincidence or just following orders, either way he has an agenda.

"Yes," he says innocently.

"And what are you doing here?" I finally ask.

"My job."

"What is your job exactly?" I put a bitter twist on my words. He looks towards the castle. He can"t even look at me. I"m so stupid. Why didn"t I notice earlier? This was all a trick. It"s always a trick, people don"t befriend me, they hardly even notice me. Just when I thought I had won.

Kirian looks past the castle to the North. "What do you suppose is past the Uncharted?" he asks nonchalantly, ignoring my question.

I don"t give a fuck about the Uncharted Territories right now, I"m becoming impatient. Just get to the point. "Answer my question," I order.

"No one dares the journey to Shadow Gate. Do you know why that is?" he continues as if I didn"t speak. The answer to his question is no. My sister always told me it was rough terrain after the war, that most of the fighting happened in the North, destroying most of the roads. Maps are almost useless when it comes to navigating the old cities.

"Rough terrain," I humor him. Hoping to end this conversation quickly.

He huffs a laugh, making me feel so small, inferior without that knowledge that he so clearly possesses. "That"s one reason I suppose. Would you like to know the other reason?" he asks. I remain silent. The castle cast a shadow over us as the sun dips down behind it. Kirian"s men still have not come to gather their horses. Where are they? "Villagers in the Uncharted Territories have been complaining of barren crops this season, creatures that steal their babies, and beasts that eat their livestock." He finally takes his eyes from the mountain and directs them at me, accusation in his words.

The look has me seething. "What does that have to do with me?" I spit, making sure I give nothing away.

"That woman, Claire, she"s part of an organization. The Spent. They are regulated magic users, commissioned by the King himself."

"Why are you telling me this?" I shake my head, pulling at my bound wrists, but it"s no use.

"So that you will tell me the truth. Why were you there that day?" Just as the words leave his mouth, a whistle comes from the direction of the castle, the same one that sounded at the lake. A wordless command, I turn my head to the noise, Kirian does not. "You don"t seem like the type to go asking about future lovers." He speaks, but it sounds far away as all the pieces come together.

I know now that I have not won at all. Kirian has been keeping me from the castle on purpose. He found me in the lake to keep an eye on me. Pretended to go head-to-head with me for the bow, leading me back into the forest to kill time. I take a step towards the castle, but he stops me once more, his hand still on my wrist. "It"s best now if you just tell the truth." He tries again.

For a moment, I think about telling him everything—oh, how I want to get it off my chest. But I say nothing as I slip from his loosened grip with an angry pull of my arm. Instead, I take my defeat, walking in stride with Kirian as he leads me to the castle. When we step out of the treeline, Kirian"s men have come out of their hiding places.

By the time we get to the stables the horses are saddled and ready to go. I look around for Father, almost expecting him to be chained up somewhere so that they can take him too, but he is nowhere in sight, and I don"t dare ask about him. Who knows what he told Kirian, for all I know he is the reason that I"m currently being read my rights.

Kirian ties my hand in front with rope before lifting me onto Goose easily then climbs up behind me. There is no distance between Kirian and I as we ride together, his thighs press up against my own. Instinctively, I try to pull away, but soon, sitting up straight becomes tiresome, and my back aches from leaning forward. When I lean back to relieve the pain, I try not to think about how much our bodies touch. I cringe at the feeling of his chest against my back. "You don"t have to fear me, I know it doesn"t seem like it now, but I am on your side," he whispers before leaning back to give me more room, as much room as he can anyway. On my side?

He deceived me, but I suppose I shouldn"t have been so na?ve. On the other side of the coin, I do believe in justice, and I might not have killed those animals, but I didn"t stop it either. Didn"t think of the consequences when patching the wounds of a beast.

By the time we get close to Thorn Row, the sky turns from blue to the orange color it takes on before the sun sets. The houses become less spread out as we enter the city. They basically live on top of each other here, something I noticed during my last trip. It"s too dark to see the roses, but I can see where Center Square sits as we pass by. There is a void of light in that spot, far from the candles or lamps that occupy people"s homes.

Kirian and his men ride in circles before ending at the jail. If it was meant to confuse me, it was a failed plan. It"s evident that the jail was built in the times before Thorn Row grew to what it is now. This part of the city that The Guard tried to keep me from recognizing was easily spotted when I saw the surrounding buildings, years of reading through Fathers" old documents, and books on new and old architecture. I know exactly where we are.