5. Chapter 4

My body aches the next morning. It"s easier to get to Thorn Row than to get back. The distance was long, mostly uphill, and the heat of the day was almost unbearable, but what"s worse was the time it gave me to think.

I have so much to do. To understand. I start in Father"s personal library, finding mostly blueprints of buildings and layouts of soon-to-be new land developed in Thorn Row.

I suppose if Father really is dead then his business would go to Cedric. It will be run straight to the ground. On to Father"s bedroom next, perhaps he has gathered something of importance and has hidden it away since he was the one to go searching for answers from my dead Mother in the first place.

Father would be cruel enough to know the answers I seek and refuse to tell me. A long 18 years of paranoia and fear of the dark, exactly the way he intended it. My punishment for taking his wife, perhaps. I try not to think of that, of the way that Father and my siblings looked at me throughout the years. Murderer. Medla"s voice floods my head.

I shove the useless books onto the shelves and head for the western hallway. Back to Father"s room, I do my best to ignore the fear that grows with each step in that direction.

The steady clacking of hooves on brick stops me dead in my tracks, one hand on the railing of the stairs. I listen carefully, and sure enough, the sound of the gate. An alarm sounds in my head from years of hearing its hinges. One that has me running for the servants" quarters as I have always done. I walk through the garden to get a look at the visitor unnoticed. Why would anyone come all the way out here?

The Shadows appear in the corner of my vision, pulsing with the pounding of my scared heart. The visitor knocks again. There will be no answer. I think to myself. I peer over the bushes to see who stands at the door. A large saddled black horse is tied to the post at our front gate, now wide open.

The sound of boots hitting the steps makes me retreat into the shrubs, and my heart begins to calm. Whoever they are, they must be leaving. It"s suddenly very quiet, but I don"t dare move, hoping that they have decided to be on their way.

The horse kicks up some dirt, creating a cloud of brownish red at its feet, waiting impatiently for its owner. They do not come. Our visitor must still be waiting in hopes that someone will return soon. It is an awfully long trip to make twice. The horse whinnies with excitement, I lean forward to get a good look at him. His beautiful black coat shines in the sun, and his mane and tail have been braided. I"ve seen this done before, on the horses of The Guard, when I was younger.

I"ve always had a love for horses. I did spend a lot of time around them, riding Adriel"s horse whenever I could get it past Cedric. She begged Father for years for that horse, but as soon as the mare bucked her off, she didn"t dare ride another time.

The mare might have been bought for my sister but belonged to me. It was sad to see her go that day with Adriel. Perhaps more upsetting to me than it is that Medla left the same day.

As I push myself out of the shrubs, the footsteps begin again. Before I can stop myself, my head collides with something hard, I stumble back a few steps in search of balance. I push my hands up to my temples to ensure my head is still attached to my body.

Hands catch me at the waist, and I quickly reposition myself, distancing myself from the touch. "I"m sorry, I-" for what reason is he sorry? Touching a woman without permission or for almost taking off my head? "Are you okay?" Kirian, the man I met in Thorn Row. Gods, he really is a stalker.

"Why are you here?" I ask through clenched teeth without answering his question because, no, I"m not okay. Not to mention there is a strange man in my garden. I have to tilt my head up to look at him. His blonde hair is almost white in the sun, and his eyes shine the same blueish green as the lake. He wears a full sand-colored Guard uniform.

Kirian holds an envelope in his large hand, cradled to his chest. His other hand holds a hat, his knuckles turn white with how tightly he grips. His tanned skin is rough and dry from hard labor, and the calluses on his hands are the same as Father"s, maybe years of swinging an axe or a hammer. I flush with embarrassment when he catches me staring.

I force myself to properly meet his eyes as he pushes out the envelope. "This is a search warrant for your western forest. There"s been an animal attack," he says, pointing west. "Most likely a wolf." I try to hide the absolute gut-wrenching feeling that takes over me. A wolf, that"s unlikely. They are not usually spotted this far south. Wolves stay close to the mountain. It"s much worse than a wolf I am afraid.

He peers over my shoulder past the garden and to the lake you cannot see from here, where worn targets lay against the tree line. I don"t turn around, pretending I do not see where his gaze lands.

He saw me that night, and it was the last time he saw his bow as well. It was quite some time ago. I had almost forgotten about it until I saw him yesterday. The thought of him watching me fail to use the weapon is an embarrassment.

My cheeks heat again at the memory. I am not the girl he saw that night anymore. No, I have had lots of time to perfect my aim.

I pull myself from the thought. "I haven"t seen anything." Another lie. You can search the land as long as you need. I will tell Father." I hope that sounded convincing. When he doesn"t say anything for a while, I begin to busy my hands by adjusting my trousers and straightening the tangled braid that lays over my shoulder. I twirl the split ends around my finger twice.

When I think about it, I can"t help it as relief washes over me. One of my problems would be fixed if Father were to be found by Kirian. I would feign ignorance as to what happened to him, whereas if Father never came back, I would have a hard time explaining his disappearance.

I give Kirian a polite smile as I usher him back to his horse. "You better get going. That"s a long trip on horseback," I tell him.

He chuckles as we walk. "You mean the trip you took on foot yesterday to Thorn Row and back?" He unravels the knot he tied with the reins. I look the magnificent steed in the eye. Without thinking I reach my hand out to pet him. I can feel Kirian"s stare, I ignore it. "Goose" Kirian says.

"What a peculiar name for a horse." I half-whisper and then suppress a laugh when Goose nudges Kirian, almost knocking him over.

"That"s the response I usually get." He says as he rebalances himself. His white teeth shine when he flashes a wide smile. His eyes scrunch up, and a dimple appears on his left cheek. He places a foot into the stirrup and mounts Goose with ease. "Bright and early." He looks down at the papers in my hand.

I nervously look at the castle I call home. From the outside, it"s beautiful, unkempt, but still grand. The inside, however, has fallen into disrepair since our servants left. There can"t be people in my home. I"d have to start right now and clean all night for it to be ready for guests. Medla would say it"s improper not to invite them in and… "It will just be a few of my men. We will stick to the forest." I snap my head back towards him at the words, like he read my mind.

"Thank you," I say with a nod of my head. Kirian pulls the reins to his side. Goose obeys the command.

"It was nice to see you again, Katsia Luz," Kirian says over his shoulder.