23. Chapter 22

"Don"t tell me how you got here." Kirian whispers, a growing smile on his face. "I won"t like the answer." He quickly pulls me into the room by my hand. These rooms are not as nice as the ones in the dormitories. They are void of color and definitely not meant for long stays. There are no windows, and the rooms and hallways all look the same amount of plain. I only knew Kirian"s room, thanks to his brief description, in case I needed to find him.

He eyes the bag at my side, his face changing from playful to serious in a matter of seconds. It"s Kirian"s bag that he got from the markets, stuffed with his jacket and a change of clothes that belong to Spartus. It"s all I have. "You said you would take me." I remind him of his promise.

"Of course." He runs his hands through his wet hair and buttons his shirt fully. He smells clean, like fresh linen. He must have just come from the bathhouse. "And I meant it."

" You will take me anywhere I want to go?" I lift my chin and straighten my shoulders to mask my unease.

He shakes his head slightly and scrunches his brows together as he looks between my eyes. Just when I think he is going to ask me where his face becomes neutral again. "Anywhere." He confirms with a nod.

I don"t give myself time to dissect the look that crosses his face next. "Good. We need to leave tonight."

The next few hours are spent trudging through mud and marsh, parts of it I thought looked familiar from my journey here, but I soon came to find out that the terrain is all the same. Large leafy plants, sarro trees with their spindly branches that make it impossible to see further than a few feet ahead. When they are not manicured as they are at Spartus, their roots grow together. Exposed and mossed over, making them blend in with the ground. It would be easy to get lost without a guide.

Kirian took back roads to lead us north and side streets when we would come across a town as not to be seen by many. He knows he is to take me to Thorn Row. That"s it. There, I will leave through the only gate that grants you access to the mountains. To Shadow Gate.

My legs are sore, and the pack at my side lays heavily on my hip, hitting the bone with every long stride. I would not be surprised to see a bruise there under my trousers. I do not dare tell Kirian of how uncomfortable I am as the sun falls on our second day, and he continues to walk and walk and walk. The man never grows tired. I trail behind him and speak as little as possible for fear that he might be in the midst of deciding I"m not worth the trouble. Maybe I am not.

I chug our last bit of water from Kirian"s canteen. He grabs it from my hand and gives it a shake, then without a word he continues down a trail that I had not even noticed.

His silence growing more eerie by the second. What is he thinking? I fall behind as he walks into a thick part of the trees. My legs feel as if they may give out, but I follow. My mere months of training are not even close to the years Kirian has on me.

When I reach him, I stand at his side, prepared to finally tell him how desperately I need a break. I take a breath to gather my words, but he puts a hand up to stop me. I nearly roll my eyes but keep my words in as he looks at the greenery around us. His head slowly turns as he listens intently to our surroundings. He takes a confident step in the direction of some nearby rocks.

Again, I move and think about begging him for a rest but when I catch him this time he stands in front of a flowing brook, no larger than a foot wide, at which he kneels to fill his canteen. My mouth waters with anticipation, like when you smell a fresh baked pie.

"Drink up," he holds it out to me without taking a drink for himself. When I take it, he begins removing his pack. A bead of sweat drips from his brow, the walk finally showing the toll it took on him as well. I watch him for a few seconds longer. Then I drink the cool water hastily, some of it falling onto my shirt.

"Thank you." I barely get out between swigs.

I fall to my knees. My legs thank me for the rest. I fill Kirian"s canteen again before digging my hands into the stream, scooping out some of its cool water to splash on my face. "We will stay here tonight. I"ll go gather firewood," Kirian says from behind me. I nod in response as he stands, but do not look at him.

I promptly strip off my dirty training uniform and rinse it in the water then lay it out to dry, grateful for the heat even though the days are getting shorter to signal the changing of the seasons. I wonder if Fauna has changed their summer flowers to winter ones yet. I try not to think of the fact that I will never get to see that happen in person. The paintings of Father"s gallery will have to be enough.

Thorn Row most likely has a view of snow-coated mountains by now. I do not miss much about Thorn Row, but that was a sight to behold. And one that is unique to those closest to the mountains.

Lupita once told me that the snow was a side effect of war. That the Gods were angry enough with the king that they made the holy land infertile. That"s why it doesn"t spread beyond Shadow Gate. The snow will make my journey more difficult.

By the time Kirian comes back I am slipping the long sleeve shirt back over my head. He throws down the pile of wood and sinks to the ground with it. "Rest. I will start the fire." I tell him and to my surprise he listens.

He does exactly as I did a moment ago, taking off his jacket and then his white undershirt before dunking them into the water. I make sure to busy myself, using a greener branch to poke at the flames.

He comes to warm his hands on the fire now that the sun is setting, giving a chill to the air. He sits opposite me, his chest bare and his face scrubbed of debris. Stubble has begun to grow along his jaw that, clenches every now and then like a nervous habit. He places his shirt near the fire for faster drying. I don"t stop myself from letting my eyes roam over his twisted torso as he grabs for it. "Where is your tattoo?" the words fall from my mouth without thought. Regret has me chewing on my bottom lip like it will stop me from saying more.

He faces me and holds my eyes. Dancing orange flames reflect back at me, hiding the green beneath. He brushes his hands off on his trousers. Then, he reaches up and pinches his lower lip with his pointer finger and thumb. When he pulls the skin down to his chin it reveals to me an eye. Etched into the skin of his inner lip. I push my hands together nervously when the memory of that lip between my teeth surfaces.

I don"t even stop myself when I begin to ramble, anything to keep that particular image from my mind. "Claire is a seer. Hers is upon her forehead. Lord Andres forces the truth from your throat." I think of when the words that I promised to keep in escaped me during that carriage ride to Fauna. Without realizing it, my hand now lay across my collarbones where Lord Andres" eyes concentrated to pull the truth from me.

Kirian trails my fingers with his eyes as they glide over the bone as if he, too, knows what it feels like to be under Lord Andres" glare. "Why is yours there?" I finish my thought.

His face flashes red. Even in the growing darkness that surrounds us, I can see it. He is either upset that I asked such a question or the answer is not something he wishes to speak of. I pretend to be interested in the dirt between my boots, kicking at it to avoid the shift in his demeanor. There is no way to decipher what he is thinking. I never can. I should not have said anything at all.

Thankfully, he does not have me on the hook for long as an answer crosses his features. "A woman once said my words sounded like honey." His voice is low, but it"s so quiet here, in the middle of nowhere, that he does not need to speak loudly. "Like what I say, no matter what it is, sounds… sweet, tempting." He looks down at his hands for a minute before peering at me through his lashes.

Again I put my foot in my mouth. "Your words were not sweet in the jail. When you made me confess to the others of Father"s mistreatment." I tell him. The left corner of his mouth twitches as he tries to hide a growing smile.

"No, I suppose they were not." And then. "Where is your magic, Katsia?" he asks a question for me now, one that catches me off guard.

I clear my throat and quickly look away from him, beyond the light of our fire to the trees that are slowly disappearing into the night sky. What were once small whispers and prying eyes are now full apparitions in the dark. Some of them watch me, speak to me, offer me their advice.

One voice among them tells me of their secrets, a female, one who wishes me to find her heart. She told me of the true nature of The Spent. I do not share any of this with Kirian, and I never will. The woman speaks to me and only me, her secrets for my ears only.

"It will come when I need it," I assure him, not a complete lie, I really believe that. It"s a comfort to know they are there, no longer figments of my imagination. Maybe I was not ready to accept them for what they are. Magic, not insanity.

"I believe you." Kirian rolls out a bed from his pack. Offering me his assurance is enough to make my heart skip a beat. I wish that would stop happening around Kirian Bear. I bet his own heart only drums in steady beats, not wavering for anyone. "You sleep first. I will take watch." He pulls the now dry shirt over his head sloppily and leans up against a tree. I do not object. It would be no use. To my surprise, sleep comes easily. The babbling brook and the crackling fire creates a melodic tune.

The peaceful sound does not last long. My nightmares are much louder than the scene around me.

When I awake the fire is gone, only embers remain. The sound of snoring comes from beside me. Kirian"s back against my own pushing me back and forth with each breath. My stomach lets out a heinous growl and I carefully slip from the bedroll and place it over him before setting out in search of something to eat.

This forest is bountiful, much more so than the ones of House Luz near Thorn Row. I find onions in the ground and three eggs in a coffin-birds nest among the trees. Called that because they lay their eggs at the bottom of tree trunks. Mothers bury their eggs in the dirt and debris while they are away. I knew the misshapen clump of dirt from drawings in books from the library at the school.

As I walk back, I think of Ava. She won"t know what has happened to me. I must have scared her with talk of death, but maybe it would be better if she thought me dead. Besides, I don"t think that I will be returning from my journey. Not if what the woman whose voice is in my head says is true.

The Spent is searching for a weapon, one that will destroy Stone. Their need for magic users, an army. "An opening of the realms, the same war that was fought and lost long ago." She told me. Stone and Understone were always meant to be separate. This world was not meant for magic. It"s only been used for abuse. She wishes to take away magic from Stone forever. The way it was always meant to be. The way I was meant to be. Normal.

When I return, I see Kirian shoving all of his things into his pack once more. He curses loudly as he throws in the last of his things. I hurry towards him. A twig breaks beneath my boot. He turns so fast that it startles me, his face that of a predator.

Suddenly, he is the man who once wiped his blood along my cheek. The man with the same face as the one that I see before me, with a goal to break me. He stomps towards me with that mask that he is far too good at wearing, and I can"t help but stumble backward. Turning my face from him in preparation for what comes next. But when he lets the pack fall from his shoulder at my feet, its contents rattling against the hard ground, he lets out a ragged breath of… relief. I am no longer scared.

He pushes my face towards him. "Gods, I thought you left, or-"but he stops when I find myself having nothing else to do besides hold up the eggs to show him where I have been. I look from my fingernails filled with dirt from digging into the ground to his face. His worry turns into a smile that tugs at his mouth forcing a dimple to his cheek. This is the Kirian I want to keep.

"I was only searching for these." I tilt my head up at him. He grabs them from my palms. In his hands, the eggs look much smaller. They will not fill a man of his size. I should have searched for more. When I reach into my pocket to grab the onions his smile turns into laughter, the contagious kind.

I let myself laugh along with him. It"s been a long time since that noise has left my chest. Kirian starts the fire again, and we sit on the damp ground while we wait for our meal. Kirian feigns satisfaction as he scoops up an egg and downs it in one gulp, leaving the others for me.

"You"re full of surprises, Katsia."

The next days are the same, we walk until our legs can no longer move and then we rest as we wait for the day. When night comes, Kirian always takes watch, with promises of waking me to take a turn, but he never does. My nightmares never cease causing me to wake throughout the night, finding Kirian at my back for warmth. Mine or his, I don"t know.

One morning, as I often do, I woke before sunrise to see the glow of light from somewhere far off. Letting me know we are finally close to a city, maybe even Thorn Row, but we will not make it there today, even if we keep walking into the night. I don"t say anything as Kirian trudges forward with what looks like no plans to stop. We walk for a few hours before I feel a drop of water from the sky, then another, and soon it soaks the jacket that Kirian gifted me all those months ago, and I begin to shiver from the cold.

Kirian slows but does not stop. "It"s only a little rain. Let"s keep going." He says over his shoulder. I nod my head in a response that he does not see and take one more step with my head down to keep my face dry. As if Zeus himself heard Kirian"s words, thunder roars in the sky and the wind swirls around us.

The rain begins to pour down so fiercely that we have no choice but to find shelter. Kirian heads for two large rocks that lean against each other nearby. He tries and fails to keep a fire lit beneath them. The bedroll is already damp from the hike up the hill to get here, and the temperature is dropping quickly.

We lay back-to-back, and soon I am curled into a ball to keep in the warmth, but it"s no use, my teeth chatter and my ears sting against the wind. Kirian"s breathing is uneven, and his legs shake from the bitter cold. He rolls onto his back, clearly uncomfortable. I turn to face him using his body to block some of the wind.

He has let me use his jacket to lie on, but I do not need to be comfortable as much as I need to be warm. So, I take the jacket and pull it over the both of us, using his shoulder as a pillow. With my ear pressed against his chest, I can hear the hammering of his heart, a steady but fast beat. I nuzzle into the crook of his arm, feeling the heat from his core. His heartbeat grows faster, harder.

His annoyance at my actions is apparent when he swiftly spins me back around and onto my side once more, he lets out an exasperated sigh. My cheeks warm with embarrassment. I"m glad that he cannot see my face. I meant nothing by it, simply to stay warm. "I didn"t-"I begin but I am cut off when he wraps his heavy arm around my waist and pulls me firmly into him, his chest against my back.

"You will be warmer this way." he breathes into my ear. The rain does not cease, but the wind slows. And he is right. I am much warmer this way.

I"m surrounded by the scent of mint, the sound of Kirian"s breathing, and the rise and fall of his chest. Soon, I am drifting into sleep.