19. Chapter 18

Ava walks into my room without so much as a knock and sits on the bed beside me. This is not unusual. She spends more time here than in her own room. She lets out a dramatic sigh when she sees the stack of books on my bedside table. It gets higher and higher every day.

My reading is getting faster, but not compared to the others who drop off the books and look longingly at the ones that they haven"t gotten to read yet. Ava helps me with the pronunciation and meaning of some words. She doesn"t seem to mind, and I have grown used to her presence.

To no surprise there is now a small plant on my bedside table, overgrown and spilling out the sides of its pot. Ava tends to it, holding her hand above it as she shares her magic with the leaves and the dirt. "Bury, you ten feet under" he was talking about Ava. I know she would never do such a thing, not to anyone.

"Do you know who runs this place?" I say over my shoulder at Ava nonchalantly. Being careful of the questions I ask in order to stay out of trouble. I"ve learned my lesson in meddling. On the wrong side of the belt when Cedric caught wind of the questions I was asking the servants.

"Lord Andres." She says with confidence. This does not answer the question that I really have. Who is the dark-haired man?

Instead, I ask, "What do they want with magic users?" I decide to keep the secret of my encounter with the man to myself. I"m already a target here. No magic and a gardener as my only friend.

Ava adjusts the pillow on the bed as she thinks. "Gordon once told me that there was a decline in mages after the war." She yawns big before continuing. "King Meron declared those with The Connection an abomination. That"s why there were trials. Maybe now that King Aron has ended the punishment, they take us here instead to be used where needed. We are an endangered species." She shrugs her shoulders. "Thanks to his Grandfather." Ava huffs like she thinks it"s funny that the now King is paying for his Grandfather's decisions.

"Have you met the King?" I ask Ava.

"Gordon never allowed it. He said that King Aron was known for his reputation around women." She states as if I should know what that means.

I change the subject when I see the sadness that comes with the mentioning of her lover. "After you take The Vow, what job do you think you will be assigned?" I ask Ava. Her eyes close slowly before opening again. We do not often talk of what happens after The Vow. There are so many rumors circulating, especially now that it is only weeks away. That it"s painful and intense. That you do not come out of The Vow the same as you went in. Although there is no proof that is the case.

Ava shifts so that the blankets cocoon her. "Hopefully something in a garden" She coos, then smiles. Her eyes close all the way this time.

At this time any other night I would be out the door but tonight I stay. Because our boring conversation was a welcome change of pace. And Ava actually went to sleep with a smile on her face, which I haven"t seen her do in a long time. Not to mention I was already caught once this week and have been waiting for punishment ever since.

She usually talks of her brother, holding back tears every time she brings up his name. Her sadness reminds me of her quivering shoulders as we stood before the obstacle course. "Don"t try to fly again little bird" I"m reminded of those harsh words. She hasn"t brought it up and I haven"t asked about it.

It"s not hard to put the pieces together myself, especially after seeing the state she was in when I first arrived. At the time, I didn"t notice her skeletal body from lack of sustenance, her tired eyes, and her quiet demeanor.

I don"t know what the days prior to my arrival held for her, but I can imagine that they were filled with grief for her brother. Grief for the loss of her lover, not dead but gone all the same.

I rise from the bed and saunter to the desk to write things down that I do not wish to forget from today"s lectures. Avas body sinks into the soft bed as she relaxes completely. She wore herself out today on the course. Every day she proves herself to the others that once did not believe in her, but it drains her. I can see it.

Soon her breathing becomes steady and when I look back, she has pulled the comforter over her face, her head shoved into the pillow. Unconscious.

I turn my attention back to the desk and pick up a book that I promised I would finish by the end of the week. I listen to the shuffling of bodies, the closing of doors of students that have found a bed for the night. The hours slip by, I catch myself bobbing my head as I too almost drift into sleep.

My dreams often bleed into reality, so I almost do not notice as a light comes from beneath the door, its flicker distant but growing. Shaking off my sleep, I make no noise as I walk my way to the door and crack it open enough to see out. Agnus walks down the hall coming towards me, her head down with determination. I slip back into the room, closing the door quietly without letting its hinges click into the frame.

When she passes and her footsteps fade, I open it again glancing back at Ava"s sleeping body before deciding to follow Agnus, watching as she takes a turn that leads down the stairs. I make sure my footsteps are near silent as I walk in her direction. Surely her services are not needed at this time of night.

When she stops at a door and looks behind her, I push myself against the wall into the night. For a second, I expect the Shadows to embrace me, hiding me further, they do not. I"m still not used to their absence. She shakes her head slightly and continues, unlocking the door then pushing it open before closing it again.

As I pressed my ear against the door, the hushed voices of Agnus and a man float through the air. Their words muffled. I try to decipher their meaning as best as I can. My heart races and unease settles over me.

"I didn"t expect you to come." The man murmurs in frustration.

"Like I had a choice" Agnus tells him, her words soft and low. "Look, I have done what you have asked. More than once I might add." She lets out a breath, creating a pause where I can hear my heart pounding. "My debt is paid, I"m no longer a part of this." She tells him but it does not come out as confident as I think she would have liked.

The sound of an object being set on wood, then, "We are all a part of this, whether you like it or not." The man"s tone is harsh. "Your sacrifices will be well worth it."

"We are running out of time." Another vaguely familiar voice says aloud, a student maybe. This man"s voice is lower and younger than the one before. "We have our commands. If what you said is true, then we need to act now."

"Tomorrow." the other man says. "Convince him-" his words are cut off by the sound of a chair sliding across the floor.

This has my feet moving from beneath me before my mind can catch up. I slink into a door frame nearby, hoping that it"s dark enough that no one will see me. "I do not wish to know of your plans," Agnus says, clearly excusing herself from the men.

Before she can open the door I move for the exit, hearing the door open and shut from the safety of the hallway. I"ve nearly memorized her shoes on tile and thankfully I am silently walking much faster than her, even though my legs will me to run as fast as I can. By the time I reach the dormitories and am safe on the other side of my door, Ava sits awake on the bed, waiting for me. I push down the bile that is threatening to spill.

"Gods Katsia. You scared me." she rubs the sleep from her eyes. "Where were you?" she asks.

"I just went for a walk." I lie, then quickly curse myself for breaking the rule I made two and a half months ago. But it"s for her own good she can"t be wrapped up in this. I head to the bed and pull at the blankets that she disheveled. Busying my hands with the task so that she does not see my face.

She snakes her way out of the covers, stands and places her hands on her hips. I don"t dare look up at her. Ava lets out a sigh at my silence. "You shouldn"t do that." She scolds. She takes a breath like she wants to say more but I cut her off.

"Listen, if you want to tell on me, just do it." I still look down at my hands, which have run out of things to do.

She takes a tentative step in my direction. I ready myself to feel her put a hand on my shoulder. Ava thinks better of her decision and quickly places her hand back at her side. "Tell on you? Why would I do that?" she asks.

I turn to her, trying to figure out if she is genuine or not.

But I have been on the receiving end of deception one too many times, and it"s harder to tell than you think. Adriel"s kindness often came at a price. "You can tell me," She would say. Telling her meant telling Cedric and Medla as well. Which came with consequences. I don"t say anything. In fact, I push my lips together so that I don"t accidentally tell her anything at all. No more lies.

"I"m just telling you to be careful. You"re not exactly well-liked." She says, and Gods do I know. I hear the whispers, the taunting from the sidelines of the course. Every now and then, I show up to a destroyed room. Not to mention all the wounds that I have patched alone, no thanks to Cora. She huffs, clearly annoyed at my lack of response. "You have to take The Vow with me, Katsia. You- "

"I"m not going to make it to The Vow." I snap at her, throwing my hands up at my sides. Her eyes go wide, and guilt floods me for scaring her, but it"s true. I have thought about it plenty of times, just never said it out loud. "I have no magic, Ava." I lower my voice now to near whisper. "I wished it away." I turn away from her once more. She"s silent for a while, and I can tell that she is waiting for me to say more. "So, it doesn"t matter if I"m out at night or if I have a target on my back. I"m not even sure I am allowed to leave this school alive."