Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Nikki—

Brookside, Texas

“I totally don’t get the fascination,” Ashley shrugs as we settle in fifty feet up on top of the Brookside water tower. “Plus this thing is so rusted, I feel like we might fall over any second.”

“Look around, isn’t it beautiful?” I ask as I point down to the barren, sun burnt field, the sun beginning to set off in the distance.

“Honestly? I find it kind of creepy up here.”

“Creepy? What could be creepy about it?”

“I don’t know. It just feels sort of…” She struggles to find the right word. “Lonely.”

Maybe Ashley’s just picking up the vibe from me. Because that’s exactly how I’ve felt the last few days. Lonely. Even though Ashley’s been with me since I arrived back in Texas, sadness and loneliness consume me.

“How could you feel lonely when I’ve been such great company?” I bump my shoulder into hers and smile for the first time since I’ve been back. I’ve been miserable and we both know it.

“You’re kind of a drag,” she teases, even though it’s the truth.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Even though you suck for company, I’d still rather be here with you than back at the trailer park watching my mother’s spawn.”

“Gee thanks. I’m better than spawn. That makes me feel awesome.”

“No problem.” She grins.

My cell phone buzzes in my pocket. He’s been calling since I left, but I can’t bring myself to answer it. It will only make things more difficult.

“Are you ever going to answer it?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Why would I? Just to hear him say he never really cared about me…that he was only using me to replace her.”

“Your Aunt Claire seems to think he genuinely cares about you. He’s been to her house a dozen times to try to get my address.”

“Why should I trust anything Aunt Claire says? She knew everything. Can you please stop answering the phone when she calls?”

“Fine,” she huffs.

“Plus, Aunt Claire doesn’t know half the stuff that Zack pulled. If she did, she wouldn’t believe Zack was so genuine.”

“What doesn’t she know?”

“Emily’s mother told me that he knew. She didn’t beat around the bush. She flat out told me he was using me to replace her daughter. She’s known him since he was little. We used to run together. He ran with Emily all the time. It was their thing. He took her to lighthouses.

“I guess. But you were twins, Nikki. Is it that odd that you might both like to run and go to lighthouses?” Ashley shrugs.

“He lied to my face. He told me he used to pass by the lighthouses all the time and never even noticed them until he met me. There was a picture of Emily and Zack standing in front of a lighthouse in Emily’s bedroom. And when we met Dr. Bennett at the hospital, he lied again. He told me Dr. Bennett was a family friend. Why else would he lie?”

“I don’t know. But something just seems off.”

“Whose side are you on? I didn’t even think you liked Zack?”

“I’m always on your side. I was worried he would hurt you.”

“Looks like you had good reason to worry.”

She sighs. “Alright. I’m not gonna win this argument. So I’ll just go with I told you so. You don’t have to ask me twice. It’s so rare I’m the one in the right with our history.” She grins.

“Thanks. That makes me feel better.” I force a smile. “You know what else is screwed up?”

“There’s more?” she teases.

“I lost a sister, and yet I’m grieving more over Zack.”

“You never really had a sister to lose.”

“I never really had Zack to lose either.”

***

We sit in comfortable silence until it’s dark.

“Ready to go, Ms. Kunas?”

“I don’t think you can keep calling me celebrity names if I don’t live in California anymore.”

“So you’re staying in Texas for good?”

“You’re all I have,” I say with sarcasm, although it’s the truth.

“That’s pretty sad.” Ashley smiles and gets up, offering me her hand. “Come on, let’s get down from this depressing place.