Chapter 19

Catalina's POV

Training with Micheal was exactly how I imagined training with an arrogant asshole to be like. We had been training for over two hours and it was obvious he wasn't lying when he said he was better. Micheal was a lot more advanced than I was and he just loved to rub it in my face especially since after two hours I still hadn't managed to go on the offense.

"You're getting angry and it's making your technique sloppy."

I'm getting angry because you keep laughing at me you dick!

"AGAIN!" Micheal yelled as I struck left aiming my fist for the side of his ribs but he caught my hand and twisted, the pain distracting me as Micheal kicked me in the knee as I went down.

"This is bullshit!" I yelled back at him. Micheal stood over me, placing his foot on my chest as he leaned down and whispered,

"Let us get a few things straight. Your emotions will not work on me. Emotions make you weak and when you're weak on the battlefield you die. So pick would you rather die or would you rather suck it up and live?"

He wasn't wrong. No one in this world was going to go easy on me. My only chance was to beat them.

He lifted his shoe off my chest turning his back to me he began walking back to the house. I stood up but in an instant, he turned back to face me. Only a brief moment had passed before he shot a dagger at my chest.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?!!?

I caught it by the hilt stopping the blade mere inches from my chest.

"Excellent, now throw it back."

Is he serious right now?

Micheal rolled his eyes,

"I am an Arch Angel and very hard to kill, so stop being such a damn brat and throw the damn dagger."

I hope his forehead catches it.

"I thought you said we weren't using fucking weapons yet!"

"THROW THE DAMN DAGGER!"

I threw it back at him and it hit him. Dead in the middle of his chest. Missing his heart by a few inches,

Micheal looked up and smiled.

"You missed."

* * *

One Week Later

"AGAIN!" Micheal yelled.

I hadn't managed to take him down once this week and it was pissing me off. I stood, dusting the dirt off of my leggings,

"You won't show me what I'm doing wrong!"

"It is not my problem that you are too stupid to see your mistakes!"

I was over it. Micheal was a complete and utter asshole. I could do nothing right according to him, I only made mistakes. He honestly reminded me of my mother.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE A BAD TEACHER!" I seethed at him. I was pissed. He was supposed to be helping me but all he had done was scream and yell.

Micheal wandered over, anger looming as he walked towards me and I swore for a moment the ground shook with each step he took,

"I would be very careful about how you speak to me." Micheal reached me and grabbed both of my arms tightly as a slight pulsing energy rippled through me.

"Get your hands off me."

Micheal smiled but there was no kindness in his eyes as he tossed me back onto the ground,

"Worthless." He whispered as he turned away from me.

I hate him. I fucking hate him.

* * *

2 Weeks Later

"Your brother is an ass."

I said to Gabriel as I slammed the back door shut and ran up the stairs to the kitchen.

"You're going to have to be more specific, I have a lot of brothers."

He stood up from the couch and met me in the kitchen, tossing me a cold bottle of water.

"The jack frost wanna-be on steroids. Micheal."

Gabriel's lips tilted up in a smile,

"He's a bit of a perfectionist."

Perfectionist my ass!

These past two weeks Micheal had been ruthless. We would be outside training for up to six hours and it was still not enough for him. He was a horrible teacher. Unlike Gabriel or Lucifer, anytime I did something wrong Micheal didn't bother to help me correct it, he would insult me and rebound.

Lucifer.

I hadn't thought about him much but sometimes I would think about him. Our memories together would play in my head while I slept and sometimes in the morning I found myself reaching over to the other side of the bed hoping he would be there. But it was always cold. Always empty.

I missed him.

I shouldn't have. I was stupid to think that night might have meant anything at all to him. He was just fulfilling his task to Gabriel. That was all the night was. Him getting closer to fulfilling his task.

"Have you heard from Lucifer?" I asked Gabriel as I unscrewed the cap and practically devoured my water.

"No, I haven't, why?"

"Because he is my friend and I haven't heard from him in weeks. It's normal to be worried."

Right?

Gabriel turned and handed me another water bottle,

"Lucifer is a big boy Catalina. He can take care of himself."

He's right.

I finished the second bottle and tossed it into the trash.

"Well anyway, tell your darling brother I won't be at training for a few days."

Gabriel looked at me with a puzzled look on his face.

He forgot. Again.

I pointed to the calendar hanging on the wall.

"How is it already that time of year?"

This time each year I felt got here quicker and quicker and it never seemed to get easier no matter how much I prepared.

"Usual spot on Saturday?"

Gabriel nodded as he headed over and grabbed a box of snacks out of the pantry,

"Same time as usual?" He asked as he handed me a pack of fruit snacks,

"Yep. Anyway, I have to pack so I'll see you later."

"Do you want me to drop you off?"

I nodded my head in appreciation,

"Yes please, Thank you, Gabriel."

He waved me off with a smirk on his face.

"Anytime, just don't go all passenger princess on me. Again."

He always brings that up. I miss our turn one time and he never lets me live it down.

"No promises on that."

He waved me off again and I made my way to my room. I dreaded this time of year but it also brings me some kind of joy. It had been ten years and I still couldn't bring myself to go alone. I always had Gabriel to go with me and in a way, it was comforting to have another person there but I also felt like a coward for not being able to go alone.

Everything is going to be okay.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

* * *

By six in the evening, I was back at my place. Gabriel slowly pulled into the familiar driveway. It felt strange to be back here. It felt…hollow. Empty. The last time I was here was the last time I saw him. Gabriel parked the car and popped open the trunk to grab my bags as I opened the passenger door and headed up the small stairs to unlock the door. The space felt different. Like something was missing or out of order.

"Do you want me to bring these up to your room?" Gabriel asked as he surveyed the space, his eyes darting everywhere as if checking for something.

Or Someone.

He's not here. He'll never be here again.

"No I'll do that later, you can just leave them by the door for now."

Gabriel gently put down the four bags I brought with me and walked over to me.

"Be careful and I'll see you Saturday at noon like usual."

Gabriel folded his arms around me and pulled me close.

"Don't have too much fun without me."

Gabriel laughed and I could feel his chest vibrating under me.

"Call if you need anything okay."

I nodded back and he let me go. I walked him to the door and watched as he slowly pulled out of the driveway.

Alone again. Great.

Staring at the space, the flashbacks of what happened here weeks ago played in my head. Lucifer holding me close. Him confessing to me who my father was and how I came to have this gift that I had once feared, Telling me everything was going to be okay, carrying me to my bed, staying with me all night, and letting me rest my head on his chest.

Two days. I can handle two days of being alone.

I walked back into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of wine.

He would hate this. Hate that I wanted nothing more than to down this bottle completely.

I stared at the bottle in my hands. A part of me wanted to just do it, just open the bottle and drown in it. But I couldn't, I wouldn't do that to myself. I wouldn't allow anyone to put me back into that dark place ever again.

I put the bottle of wine back, deciding to just put my stuff away and call it an early night. I grabbed my bags from the living room and raced up the stairs. A warm breeze danced across my shoulders as I opened the door to my room and I stared at the perfectly made bed. So much had happened in here or at least I thought something did. I thought back to all those weeks ago, Lucifer and I had come so far from where we had started and I almost believed that in those last few moments, we had spent together maybe I had begun to see a softer side to Lucifer, one that he didn't show people often, but I was wrong. I only saw how…dedicated Lucifer was to his work. To his…tasks.

I closed my eyes, wiping the memory from my head as I took a deep breath and tried to center myself.

Everything is going to be okay.

I repeated to myself as I quickly unpacked my things and settled into bed.

Everything is going to be okay.

* * *

I'm back in that dark place my dreams seemed to conjure up.

The darkness was still here and I could still hear the others screaming. Some were begging for mercy and some were begging for death. There were so many voices and they were so fucking loud! As the voices bleed together into a horribly pitched scream. It got louder and louder and louder and I went to cover my ears like I did before, until the sound of a blade being freed silenced them all. I tried to run but something was holding me in place, I could feel someone come up behind me as they placed a cold hand on my shoulder and a moment later a sharp fiery pain went through my back and chest. I conjured up a small ember of flame again to see. I looked down to see a dagger going through me. Blood dripped down my stomach and onto the floor. It was coming out of me so fast, there was no way to stop it. The person behind me began to laugh as they twisted the dagger, making it my turn to scream.

* * *

I opened my eyes and immediately sat up in my bed as my fingers wandered over myself for the wound in the dream.

Nothing.

It was just another bad dream. Everything is fine.

"It's been a while since you've had a dream that bad."

There's no way. I have to still be dreaming!

I opened my eyes to see Lucifer standing at the foot of my bed.

He's Here!

I yanked the covers off and launched myself at him. He caught me as my legs wrapped around his waist, my arms going around his neck as his arms wrapped around me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him

"You were screaming."

Was I?

"But I thought you were gone? You said you were leaving- How did you know I was here?" The questions rolled out of me, unable to stop myself.

"I never left."

I smiled.

"You never left?"

Lucifer shook his head,

"I stayed here. Waiting. Hoping you would come back."

He waited for me.

"You waited for me?"

Lucifer chuckled,

"So many questions tonight. Did you miss me, princess?"

I pulled him in closer and rested my head on his shoulder. I didn't even care that he called me princess. All I cared about was that he was here.

He's here. He's actually here.

"I missed you too." He said.

He never left.

I pulled back to glance into his eyes,

"Have you been watching me?"

"Perhaps." I shook my head as he smiled back at me.

Gently he put me down, my feet finally touching the floor, taking my hand in his, once again interlocking our fingers.

"Come, let's get you some water." I followed him as he led us back downstairs into the kitchen and poured me a glass of water.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lucifer asked as he handed me the cold glass.

"There isn't really anything to talk about. I couldn't really see anything."

Lucifer walked over and sat beside me,

"Was it like the one you had a few weeks ago?"

How did he know about that?

"How did you-"

Oh..

"That night I thought I saw something on the balcony. That was you, wasn't it? You were there?"

He was silent for a moment before he gently grasped my hand,

"I just wanted to check on you to make sure you were okay. I was just about to leave when you walked into the room and I just wanted to see you. Just once and when I did I knew something was wrong. Physically you looked okay but you weren't yourself and I could tell something had freaked you out and since there was no one else in the house but you and you had been asleep, I figured you had another bad dream."

He came to check on me?

"The man in the dreams got close this time, he stabbed a dagger into my chest."

It was the first time that the man in the dreams had done something like that. He didn't even offer up his hand, he just attacked. The dream was changing and that terrified me. Lucifer immediately pulled me onto his lap. His arms went around me as he gently placed a kiss on the top of my head and whispered,

"As long as I am alive I will always be here to help you. No matter what."

"You left though." his arms tightened around me,

"And I will never make that mistake again."

I believed him.

"You will always have me Catalina, You will never be alone. Never again."

You will never be alone.

"You're not as evil as people think you are, you know that right?"

I chuckled against his chest.

Lucifer hooked his finger under my chin and tilted my head up to look at him.

"No. I am so much worse, But not to you. Never to you."

His hand slid up to cup my cheek. Holding my face so tenderly as he leaned in ever so carefully as if he thought I was some mirage that would disappear if he moved too quickly. I couldn't think. The only thing I could hear was my heart practically beating out of my chest. He was so close and everything else in the room went away. All I could feel was him. All I wanted was him and when his lips finally touched mine, I exploded. His lips were soft and he tasted of vanilla and warm embers. Every part of me wanted to wrap around him forever. To be here in this moment forever. I wanted him. I wanted every part of him. His hand that lingered on my waist pulled me closer as his other hand moved into my hair so he could angle my face for better access. Too soon it was over and I found myself craving more. More of him. More of whatever this was.

"Tell me to stop."

I shook my head at him,

"Don't."

He pressed his cool forehead against mine,

"It's not safe for you to be with someone like me and the last thing I want is for you to be hurt because of me."

"Why did you stay then Lucifer? Why did you kiss me?"

"Because I couldn't fucking stay away from you."

I pulled back and rested my hand on his cheek,

He closed his eyes and placed a hand over mine,

"I still can't."

Lucifer pressed his lips to mine. He wasn't soft or gentle. Lucifer kissed me as if he was starved. He was rough and demanding yet I never felt more cherished, more safe, than I did in that moment.

"What do you want Catalina? Tell me what you want and I swear I will give it to you."

You.

"I want this. I want you."

Lucifer smiled as he took my face in his hands,

"Then I am yours."

Lucifer kissed me deeply. It was as if he had unshackled some part of himself and was trying to express everything he wanted to say but couldn't get the words out and decided to let me feel what he wanted to say but in a kiss.

"And you are mine," he whispered against my lips as he lifted me and carried me back to my room. I tensed up as Lucifer broke the kiss again and chuckled,

"Relax princess, we'll just sleep for the night."

He laid me gently on the bed and slid in beside me. I rested my head on his chest as he pulled the blanket back up to cover us and slowly sank into his warmth as I fell asleep to the soft sounds of his heartbeat as he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close and for the first time in years, I fell asleep…Happy.

* * *