Library

Chapter 12

Lucifer's POV

"Incident during training my ass what the fuck happened?" Gabriel asked as he took the damp cloth off my hand and gazed at my bruised and bloodied knuckles. His eyes widened as he took in the jagged red edges that graced my hands.

"Catalina told me about that therapist she went to."

Gabriel's eyes slightly darkened,

"What about him?"

He Knew.

"I paid him a little visit," I gestured to my hands,

"As you can see things got a little out of hand."

Gabriel nodded,

"He lives?"

"For now."

Unfortunately.

The second she told me I could end him, I would. The only reason he was alive was because she stopped me. She held his life in her hands and she didn't even know it.

Gabriel glanced back at my hands,

"Why was she cleaning your hands? You can just heal them yourself."

I shrugged at him,

"It made her feel useful."

Gabriel was right. I could've just healed myself then and there and just go on with the night. But having her tend to my wounds, having my hand in hers. It felt good. It felt good to know that someone cared about me, that someone worried about me and cared about my safety. She wasn't worried about the therapist or herself in that office.

She was worried about me.

"She okay?"Gabriel asked

"A little startled but she'll be fine."

I'll check on her in a little bit.

I knew she was okay. My head was telling me she was fine but I wanted to make sure just one last time that she was alright. That I didn't somehow miss anything.

"You're sure she's alright?" Gabriel asked as he tossed the damp rag into the sink,

"Yes."

"Maybe I'll just check on her real-"

"Gabriel she's fine."

"Very well then, I'll see you both tomorrow. Goodnight." I watched as Gabriel made his way to his room and I made my way to Catalina.

She's Fine.

I told myself as I got closer and closer to her door.

Just take a peek inside and make sure she's there.

I gently opened Catalina's door. A faint light was shining from her dresser as a soft melody played.

A music box.

It was a small round thing, covered in gold. By the looks of it, she had it for a while, the gold was no longer bright and shiny but rusted. The color surrounding it still sparkled, going around the music box as if replicating the colors from sunrise to sunset, and in the middle the little dancer twirled on a cloud as she looked to the top of the music box that was filled with little white dots, reminding me of stars. Gently I closed the music box and noticed the little crescent moon and stars on the lid.

I turned toward her bed, and there she was. Perfectly safe. Her long dark hair sprawled across her pillow as she clutched another to her chest. I pulled her blanket up and gently tucked the heavy comforter around her.

She's safe. She's content.

Seeing her lying in her bed, safe and sound eased a knot that in my chest I didn't know I had. She looked peaceful. Possibly the most at peace I had ever seen her since we met. Seeing her like this at peace, her freckles on display as her dark hair veiled around her highlighting her soft olive skin as the dark strands rested on her high cheekbones..she was…

She's Beautiful.

* * *

It's eleven in the morning, where the hell is she?

Catalina hadn't come out of her room since last night and I was genuinely starting to worry. When she hadn't come out for breakfast I wasn't too worried. Sometimes eating early in the mornings made her sick so she'd skip it but as the hours went by the pain in my chest began to override everything. No sounds were coming from her room. No music from her music box, no sounds from her phone or TV. Nothing. Just silence. She had seemed fine last night and she wasn't hungover so what was going on with her today?

I should check on her-

NO.

She's fine. She has to be fine. If she wasn't fine Gabriel would have said something by now… Right?

I'll just check on her one time and that'll be all.

I began to make my way towards Catalina's room, just as Gabriel walked out of her room, almost colliding with him.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you."

"Is she alright?" I tried to look over his shoulder and glance in her room but there was nothing but darkness behind him. Gabriel shook his head.

"It's not a good day for her."

"What happened?" Gabriel glanced back into the room and gently closed the door behind him,

"Her mother texted her."

And?

I knew Catalina didn't have the best relationship with her mother but I didn't think a text from this woman could make Catalina this…

"Is she upset?" Gabriel nodded as he pushed his hair back,

"Her mother tends to say things that get under her skin." Gabriel began to walk away, back towards the kitchen. I grabbed him by the arm, pulling him back to face me.

"What did she say to her?"

"No offense brother but it is none of your business so just leave her-"

"I will not repeat myself, Gabriel. Either you willingly tell me what that woman said to her or I will force it out of you. Your choice."

Gabriel hesitated for a moment, and it was possibly the longest moment of my life.

"She called her an ungrateful, inconsiderate selfish human being and that she should be ashamed of herself for everything she's done to her family."

Everything she's done?

Gabriel told me before that Catalina had done some very risky things when she was a teenager, but dammit the girl was a fully grown adult now! She wasn't the same person she was back then. She didn't deserve to have the past thrown in her face time after time again. I was pissed at her mother, first for the way Catalina was treated growing up and now I was pissed at what she had texted Catalina. I released Gabriel and busted through Catalina's door. Her room was in complete darkness, her curtains closed, and no light or sound to be found anywhere. No trace of who she was. Just utter and complete darkness. Catalina lay in her bed, her red puffy eyes open as she stared at the ceiling. Completely unaware that I had even stepped into her room. Seeing her like this…I hated it. I hated that her mother could make her feel this way.

"Get up."

Catalina barely moved.

"Catalina get up and get out of this damn bed or I will carry you out of it." I wouldn't allow her to wallow like this. I wouldn't allow her to let that woman make her feel like this. Slowly her head turned and her eyes met mine.

"Get up and get out of this bed Now." I knelt so that I was face-to-face with her. She was like a ghost. No presence of that spark that made her her. It was like a light was blown out inside of her. I knew she was in there, a small ember of her still shined in there and I would dig it out of her, even if she hated me for it. Slowly she started to turn her head back to face the ceiling,

FUCK THAT!

I reached over and grabbed the side of her face, turning her to look back at me.

"Don't do that. Do not let her do this to you. Her opinion of you does not matter, she does not matter." A small tear escaped her eye,

"Do not give her that power over you." Catalina gently closed her eyes as another tear slid down her face. I pulled her blanket back and gently picked her up. She was still dressed in the gym outfit she wore yesterday,

"Where are we going?" She asked as I gathered her in my arms. Her voice was hoarse as if she had been screaming all night.

"To train." I carried her throughout the house and eventually out into the backyard.

"I don't want to train."

I placed her down on the ground,

"That's too bad. Now get your dagger out of my bag and get into position."

She was hurting. I knew she was and I knew the minute Gabriel and I left her alone, she'd start drinking. The cycle would repeat itself all over again. She was doing well and I refused to let her mother or anyone ruin this for her. I turned towards the house, to go and bring Gabriel out but he was already on the patio. Watching us.

* * *

"That hurt you son of a bitch!" Catalina yelled, my dagger making a sharp cut on her arm,

"Are you going to cry about it now?" I answered back to her. She slashed her dagger, aiming for my throat but I ducked and stepped to her left, hitting her arm and knocking the dagger out of her hand. The orange in her eyes was starting to become even more apparent yet she wasn't using the breathing techniques I had shown her.

She's giving into the anger.

"I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE FUCKING ANGRY!" She yelled as she pushed me away and began heading towards the house.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" I yelled at her as she continued to walk away. Ignoring me.

"You're going for a drink aren't you?" I shouted back at her, and slowly she turned to face me.

"Yes, so what?"

I shook my head,

"Unbelievable, one minor setback and your instinct is to drink."

"It's been a rough day and I need a damn drink!"

"You don't need a fucking drink!" I yelled taking a small step towards her.

"You don't know what I fucking need! You don't know anything about me!" Catalina rushed into the house and made her way to the liquor cabinet, pouring herself a tall glass of Whiskey.

"Put the fucking drink down Catalina."

"Go to hell!"

"Fine you wanna fucking drink then go ahead and fucking drink but do not expect me or Gabriel to be here when you sober up!"

Slowly her gaze shifted up to me, and a slight glossiness hazed over them.

"If you take a sip of that drink Gabriel and I will not help you anymore. If you take a sip of that drink, Gabriel and I will pack your shit and drop you off wherever you choose to go and we will leave. And you will be alone. Is that what you want?"

She gazed down at the bottle of whiskey she still clutched in her hand. For a moment I thought she would do it. That she would take a sip and that would be her decision. Relief flooded my chest as I watched her put down the bottle and dump whatever she had poured in her cup down the drain. Slowly I took a step closer,

"You have every right to be angry Catalina. You can be as angry as you want, you can stab, kick, and punch me all you want if that's what you want but what you're not going to do is let that woman's opinion of you shape who you are."

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM!" Catalina yelled as she leaned against the fridge and sank to the ground.

"I tried for so long to make up for what I did. I tried being a good daughter and It got me nowhere. I gave up on everything I loved and enjoyed, to make them happy and all they saw when they looked at me was a mistake they never should have made."

I took a seat beside her as she pulled her legs to her chest,

"I don't know who I am Lucifer."

"Well, you certainly won't find who you are at the bottom of a bottle of whiskey," I smirked at her. A slight smile appeared on her face. I didn't know much about how someone would find who they were supposed to be in this life. Who I was, was determined from the moment of my creation. I was who I was because I was created that way. This was who I was destined to be yet she had so many options on who she could be. That was one thing I was always jealous about. The ability to have free will. It fascinated me. She could be anything, she could become anyone she wanted. All she had to do was pick.

Gently I took her hand in mine,

"You are Catalina. Only you can decide what that means."

I squeezed her hand gently,

"She wins. If you destroy yourself because of her, she wins. She'll have that power over you. Don't let her have it."

Catalina smiled as she squeezed my hand before she let go and stood up, and offered her hand to me.

"Shall we go another round?"

"As you wish, princess," I said as I grasped Catalina's hand and stood up as she rolled her eyes.

"You know that nickname is actually kind of growing on me a little bit." I tossed Catalina her dagger from where it had landed moments before, she easily caught it by the hilt and within seconds was in position.

"Do your worst," I smirked at her as the sound of our daggers coming together played out in their own symphony.

* * *

"Where are you going all dressed up?"

Gabriel's voice carried from the kitchen, I turned from my spot on the couch and saw Catalina. I hadn't seen her since we finished training a few hours ago, but I knew she was okay. She had immediately gotten into the shower after training and I had heard music coming from her room. She was okay. She was dressed in a black lace corset top that emphasized her chest, with tight black leather pants that hugged her waist and wide-set hips, emphasizing her lush thighs in just the right way. She had styled her hair in waves that made her look like she had just stepped out of the water which complemented the dark sultry smokey makeup and dark red lip. If I wasn't already sitting she would have brought me to my knees.

"I have a date tonight."

A date? With who?

"A date or a hookup?" Gabriel asked as he handed her her purse.

"A date Gabriel." Catalina began looking through her bag. Gabriel glanced over at me,

"Where did you meet this guy?" I couldn't help myself but I needed to know. She hadn't been out of the house in a while so where could she have possibly met someone?

"We've been mutuals for a while, he's asked me out a few times but I'm gonna give him a chance."

Gabriel and I exchanged another look.

"Look guys I know you're worried but I'll be fine."

Catalina made her way over to me,

"You were right. My mother wins if I destroy myself. She took my power for a bit but now I'm taking it back."

"By going on a date?" Gabriel asked, and Catalina rolled her eyes,

I don't like this.

A honk from outside tore me from my thoughts and interrupted Catalina before she could respond,

"Look I'll be home before midnight okay guys? I'll even leave my location on." She leaned over and ruffled the hair on my head,

"Behave," she said to me as she walked to Gabriel and hugged him, he kissed her cheek and walked her over to the door. Gabriel opened the door and watched as Catalina disappeared down the driveway.

What the hell does this guy look like anyway?

I stood up from the couch and made my way over to the door and watched as Catalina hugged the man. His hands rested on her waist just a little longer than I liked. We watched as he led her to the passenger side and opened the door for her, helping her into the seat, and then quickly walked over to his side and drove off.

I hated him.

"You don't trust this do you?" I asked Gabriel

"Not one bit." We were both silent for a moment.

"Should we follow them?" I asked as Gabriel finally closed the door and pulled out his phone.

"No. She has her location on I think she'll be fine."

We don't even know this person!

Gabriel tossed his phone on the counter and began rubbing his temples,

"Look I've had a long day and I still have some work for the shop that I have to finish, do you mind staying up until she gets back?"

"Fine."

"Thanks, I'll see you in the morning."

I watched as Gabriel made his way to his room, opening and shutting his door and then finally locking it. Catalina was fine. Sure she was out with some random guy that she hadn't even really met yet but like Gabriel said her location was on and she said she would be home by a certain time. Even though she made that promise before, this time I believed her.

Why does this even bother me so much?

Catalina was healing. She had finally accepted the fact that she needed help and the training seemed to be helping her keep her temper in check. Everything was going according to plan. Soon everything would be wrapped up and I would be able to leave and Gabriel and Catalina would resume their lives. She would go on to live her life, go on dates, eventually meet someone, and live happily ever after…

Fuck it.

I grabbed Gabriel's phone off the Island, grabbed the keys to his car, and pulled up Catalina's location.

* * *

Her date had taken her to a seafood place downtown. The place was nice but I didn't give a damn. My entire focus was on Catalina. She looked stunning in that outfit. She had outshined every single person in this place. It was hard not to look at her, she was..intoxicating.

Stop it! You're here to make sure she's safe and that's it!

"Sir, do you have a reservation?"

What?

I looked back at the small boy in front of me. He couldn't have been older than sixteen.

"No, No I don't have a damn reservation." I looked back and watched as her date set down the money on the table, grabbed Catalina's hand, brought it to his lips, and kissed her hand.

THAT'S ENOUGH!

I started to make my way over to them, but just as I was about to cross that threshold into the dining room, Catalina and her date stood up and began walking towards me.

SHIT!

If she saw me she'd be pissed and would probably try to kick my ass in front of everyone. I rushed back out the door and waited across the street.

Just make sure she gets home safely and it'll be fine.

Catalina and her date emerged a few short seconds later. The bastard no longer clutched her hand but was resting his hand on her lower back. I watched as he led her down the block. She was laughing and smiling at him. He didn't deserve to see her smile or hear her laugh. They slowed down as they began to approach his car, Her back pressed up against the passenger side as they talked. I couldn't hear what they were saying and I didn't give a damn. The sooner she got in that car the sooner she would be home.

And away from him.

Catalina pressed her hand against his chest as he slowly leaned in and kissed her. His hands trailed down her body and cupped her ass, pressing her close to him. I hated it. I hated every minute of it.

She shouldn't be kissing him! And he shouldn't be touching her!

I could feel my fists clenching at my sides. I wanted nothing more than to tear him from her. To take her far away from him and wipe his kiss off of her.

"CATALINA!"

I couldn't take it anymore. The man broke the kiss and took a single step in front of her,

"Who the fuck are-"

"Let's go Catalina." I didn't give a shit what he had to say.

"Hey, man she's not going anywhere with-"

"I suggest you mind your damn business and learn to speak when you are spoken to, boy!"

The man took another step closer,

"Who the fuck do you think you're talking-"

He finally shut his mouth once he finally took in who was before him. I didn't need to see my reflection to know that my eyes had gone dark.

"Now Catalina." I extended my hand out to her. She glanced down between my hand and back up to the man's face,

"I can drive her home."

"No need, I am more than capable of doing that."

"She's my date, not yours."

"And if you don't release your hand from her waist it'll be your blood on the ground, not mine."

His grip on her waist tightened but Catalina stepped towards me, slowly turning to face her date.

"I'll give you a call tomorrow Eric. Thank you for tonight. I had a great time."

"Cat are you sure you want to-"

"I'll be fine, he's a family friend. It's all good I promise."

He doesn't deserve your promises.

The man took a look back at me and then back to Catalina and nodded his head,

"Text me when you get home alright?"

Catalina smirked,

"I will." The man glared at me as he made his way over to the driver's side of his car. His narrow gaze was fixed on me but within seconds he was gone.

"You wanna tell me what that was all about?"

"Let's go." I grabbed her hand and began walking back toward Gabriel's car. I opened the passenger door for her yet she made no move to get into the car.

"Catalina get in the damn car."

She took her hand out of mine and crossed her arms,

"Are you gonna tell me what that little episode you had was about?"

"Will you get in the car?" She shook her head. I slammed the car door shut and leaned up against the car.

"Why are you so upset?" She asked as she moved to stand in front of me,

"I'm not upset."

"Bullshit."

I wasn't upset. I was pissed.

"Look he had his fucking hands all over you and he kissed you-"

Catalina's laugh stopped me,

"What are you laughing at? I don't see anything funny here!"

"I didn't know you were the jealous type."

JEALOUS!

"I'm not fucking jealous!"

Catalina inched closer to me, her chest pressing up against mine. The contact sent a strange hum throughout my body.

"Oh really?"

"I have nothing to be jealous of."

Lies.

"Liar."

Shit.

"You hated seeing his hands on me. Why's that? Did you wish it was your hands Lucifer?"

Yes.

"Don't be ridiculous!" I sneered back at her,

"Anyone could tell by the way he was with you that the only thing he cared about was getting in your pants tonight."

Catalina rolled her eyes as she took a single step away from me.

"Are you seriously that fucking blind that you couldn't see how obvious he was making it?" All night he had been staring at her, when she attempted to have a conversation with him, his gaze somehow always found her chest. She stood up once to go to the bathroom and his eyes had been practically glued to her ass the entire time she walked away.

"Why do you think you can talk to me like that!" She shouted as she crossed her arms and stepped back up to me, her face mere inches from mine,

"I can do whoever and whatever the hell I want! You are not my brother, you are not my boyfriend and you are not my father!"

"Yeah well if your father had been around a bit more you wouldn't be in this situation now would you?"

Surprise and hurt filled her eyes as she took a step back away from me.

Too far. I took it too far.

I pushed off the car and opened the door for her, slamming it shut once she was inside.

"How did you even know where I was?"

I took Gabriel's phone out of my pocket and placed it in the cup holder between us.

"I took Gabriel's phone."

Catalina smirked,

"And why would you do that?"

"Because I wanted to make sure you were safe. You were going out with a stranger, it's only logical we would be worried about your safety."

"Right." She whispered and turned her head to face out the window. We rode in silence for what seemed like forever. She twirled that little piece of hair which meant she was thinking hard about something.

"Just so you know, for that little jealousy comment I'm kicking your ass in training tomorrow," I said as we pulled into the driveway and I put the car in park.

A slight smile appeared on her face,

"I look forward to it."

So do I.

* * *

3 Weeks Later

Catalina's POV

"Why are you smiling?" I asked Lucifer as our daggers connected again and that sharp sound hissed in my ears.

"Because you look like you're having fun." He ducked as I aimed the dagger to the left,

"Maybe I am."

I backed up and inched closer as he swiped his dagger towards my neck. We had taken the tape off the ends. Anything was fair game now.

You are having fun Idiot.

Lucifer swiped his dagger at my neck again and instead of backing up I ducked down and kicked his legs out from under him. He went down. Hard. I took the advantage and straddled him, dagger poised at his heart.

"I win."

Lucifer smirked as his fingers lightly caressed my thighs,

"Is this a bad time to tell you that I am incredibly turned on right now?"

I rolled my eyes as I rolled off him,

"Interesting kink you have then."

He shrugged as he slowly rose from the ground,

"What can I say I have a thing for violent women."

He winked at me before turning around and grabbing his water bottle off the ground,

"You did a good job today Catalina," Lucifer said as we made our way back to the house. After my spectacular victory, we decided to call it quits for the day.

"Thank you, it felt good to spar with someone who presents a challenge." I nudged him with my shoulder and he laughed,

"Is Gabriel not a challenge?"

"Gabriel always lets me win, he makes it too easy."

We reached the door and Lucifer went to open it, moving to the side so that I could enter first.

"I did have fun today though."

These past few weeks had honestly gone by so quickly but I was having fun. My days were somewhat planned out. Breakfast with him and Gabriel, followed by three to four hours of training with Lucifer and Gabriel or if Gabriel was busy it was just Lucifer, and to be honest I didn't mind when it was just me and him, then we would all relax in the living room for a few hours while we argued about whose turn it was to pick dinner. We ate dinner together every night at six. Afterward, I would retire to the library for a few hours. Lucifer always joined me, and having him around made me feel..comfortable. I liked having him around. Sometimes I would fall asleep in the library and wake up tucked into my bed. I knew Lucifer was the one carrying me. I woke up once while he did it, and the way he held me, he held me so tightly yet he was gentle. For someone whose hands were covered in tattoos and calluses, I expected roughness yet they were gentle and comforting. I loved it.

"I did as well, I look forward to tomorrow's session."

We walked over to the kitchen, I went to open the fridge but saw the note tacked on there instead,

Problem at the shop. Dinner is on you guys tonight. Won't be home until tomorrow afternoon. Be safe and don't kill each other.

Gabriel

"Guess we have the place to ourselves for the night," I said as I passed along the note to Lucifer.

He took a moment to read the note before he spoke,

"What would you like to do for dinner then?"

"There is a cool place a couple blocks away and trust me the food is to die for."

"I'm not going to a club for dinner."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"It's not a club, it's a small diner run by this sweet old couple."

Lucifer nodded as he tossed Gabriel's note aside,

"Very well."

I smiled. I haven't been there in months.

"We'll both need to shower and change so be back here in thirty minutes."

I couldn't even wait for his reply as I raced back to my room to get ready. I couldn't help it. I was excited about anything food-related. I had such a good feeling about tonight. It was the first time in a long while that I was going out and not planning on getting wasted and taking some frat boy alpha male wannabe home. Instead, I was going to spend the evening at one of my favorite places with Lucifer and honestly, I was happy at that thought.

For once in my life everything was going well and I was happy. Gabriel and I were getting back to how we used to be and Lucifer….Well, he was kind of growing on me. He had only been here a little over three months and yet so much had changed in such a short time. I liked spending time with him. Sometimes after training, we would sit in the library and he would help me rearrange my books, sometimes holding up to twenty hardcovers in his hands because I refused to let them touch the floor. He never complained though.

Some days were hard though. Some days where my gaze would catch on a scar on my body and all I could do was focus on that scar and what had happened to cause it to stain my body. Those were the moments when all I wanted to do was reach for the nearest bottle and drink myself into sweet oblivion. Lucifer wouldn't allow it, with him if I wanted a drink he would haul my ass outside for training, and then afterward he would make me one. He learned what my favorite drinks were and made mock-tails for me instead and damn he was good at making them. They practically tasted the same as if they had booze in them.

Being around him in the beginning was hard. I hated him. I hated the way he had spoken to me, hated the way he looked at me, but now…I got it. He and Gabriel were trying to help and I had been so drunk and fucked up that I couldn't see it. He was tough on me before because Gabriel played the nice card all the time and I never got it. He opened my eyes to what I was like, what I was becoming. Slowly, I was becoming my mother and I hated that. I was becoming an empty vessel full of anger, rage, and hate. I thought that I was healing. In my own sick way, I thought with the drinking and fucking I could shut off my mind for a few moments and find some sort of peace, holding out for some kind of relief. But it never came and I was slowly digging myself into an early grave. I almost gave my mother the thing she wanted most in this world. For me to be dead.

He saved me. Lucifer. The Devil himself had saved me.

* * *

Lucifer's POV

An hour later Catalina and I had arrived at Carmelo's.

She had somehow managed to snag us a booth in the back and had ordered us each a drink and a basket of chicken tenders and fries.

She has the food pallet of a child.

"So where did you learn to fight?" She asked as she dipped her fry in ketchup.

"I can't really remember, I've just always known how to fight and have always been the best of my brothers at it."

"I was the best at fighting among my siblings too but then again they didn't care much for fighting when they never had to."

I could see the wetness in her eyes start to appear as her shoulders began to tense up and she slowly reached up and began to twirl her hair.

She does not like her family.

"When was your first fight?" I asked her, hoping to pull her from whatever thought was clouding her head.

"Sixth grade. I punched some kid in the nose and got away with it."

Why am I not surprised?

"The teachers couldn't believe that little sweet Catalina could do such a thing." Her shoulders relaxed as she continued.

"Everyone always thought I was so little and sweet and quiet."

Oh how wrong they were.

"It's always the quiet girls you have to look out for," I smirked at her as a hint of a smile blossomed on her face.

" Why did you punch him?"

Catalina went silent for a moment and when I looked over I could see a hint of orange reflecting in her eyes.

"I was standing at my locker, grabbing my books and he had stood behind me, pulled up my skirt, and grabbed my ass. I tried telling a teacher and all they said was that I should try wearing something more appropriate to school. I went home thinking it was my fault. So I wore jeans the next day, and sure enough, he did it again so I lost it and I punched him."

I wanted his name and I wanted it now.

"And this boy never received any consequences?"

Catalina shook her head,

"They never do."

Tell me his name and I'll make sure he will.

"I'll be right back." She said as she slowly slipped out of the booth. I watched as she made her way to what seemed like the restroom and waited.

"She doesn't like to be touched without permission." Gabriel's words plagued my mind as I thought about what the boy had done to Catalina when she was younger. I understood why. If someone had touched me when I hadn't wanted them to and then continued to keep doing it for months on end, I wouldn't want to be touched either. The fact that she could still be intimate with others showed how strong she was. She still wanted to live and experience things as if that experience had never even happened, yet her mind would never let her forget. She had built walls up to try and keep those thoughts from her mind. Walls that had hardened her and prevented her from letting anyone in, from getting too close, and for a brief moment I wondered what Catalina would be like if she let those walls come down. If she allowed herself to let people in and care for her.

Something was wrong.

Catalina had been gone for a little over ten minutes. Something wasn't right. I could feel it.

I stood up and made my way over to the area where she had gone. She said she would be right back.

Where the hell is she?

Just as I was about to tear down the door to the bathroom I heard it. Her voice.

"Seriously Eric, just leave me alone."

The male laughed,

"Come on Cat, you know we had a great night the last time we hung out."

"It was one night and that's all."

"It could be so much more." He whispered against her lips and kissed her.

Motherfucker she's mi-

Catalina pushed the man back and wrapped her hand around his throat as she pressed him up against the wall. The orange in her eyes was proudly on display as a faint red glow began to appear around her hand as she wrapped her hands around his throat.

Shit!

"Catalina, it's time to go," I shouted to her as I came up behind her. The man had a look of pure fear in his eyes as a small stain appeared on the front of his pants.

"I'll go when he stops breathing."

I placed a hand on her wrist,

"I will deal with him as long as you get out of here." She stayed silent and I could see her grip on the man's throat getting tighter. The red band slightly getting brighter and brighter around the man's neck.

"Catalina take five seconds." Slowly she closed her eyes, breathing deeply as she counted the seconds that went by.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Her eyes opened, and all of the orange had disappeared as she dropped the man to the floor. Gently I gathered her up in my arms and carried her away.

"You need to get a handle on your bitch there buddy."

Before I could even react, Catalina extended her hand as a small ember of flame shot out and caught on the man's jeans. A small vengeful smile grazed her face as she beheld the terror in the man's eyes.

She just lit this man's pants on fire. Good Girl.

"Catalina let's get you home now."

I held her tighter as I rushed her out the door and into the passenger seat of her car. Before pulling away I could see the man and others surrounding him, trying to help him stand. They had put out the fire and were trying to help him in other ways. While others were staring out the window. At us.

No. At her.

* * *

The entire ride home was silent but I could tell she was thinking. She was twirling that piece of hair in front of her face and staring out the window. Oblivious to the world.

We pulled into Gabriel's driveway and immediately I unbuckled her and opened her door.

"Grab on and hold on tight," I said to her and she listened and latched her arms around my neck and I carried her to the house, kicking the door shut before I gently set her down on the kitchen island.

"Are you okay?"

She remained silent, her eyes never blinking as she reached up to twirl that little piece of hair again,

"Catalina!"

"DON'T YELL AT ME!"

"I am not trying to, but answer the damn question!"

I took her face in my hands and those big beautiful green eyes were full of tears,

"Did he hurt you?"

She shook her head.

"No. I'm fine."

"What exactly happened?" I asked her as she slowly raised her hand over mine,

"I was coming out of the bathroom and we saw each other, he pulled me into the hall, saying he just wanted to talk, but I didn't. I tried to move around him but I-I couldn't."

I hope more than just his pants burned.

"Why?"

She remained silent.

"He had a weapon on him didn't he?"

She stiffened beneath me. She had left her dagger in her purse and she left her purse at the booth. At that moment she had no weapon, nothing else to use except what she was given.

"Look I froze okay? I'm sorry-"

"Why the fuck are you apologizing?"

She had no reason to apologize. She defended herself against that creep.

"Catalina, you have no reason to be sorry. For anything."

She remained silent.

Talk. please. Just say something. Anything.

"I wanted to hurt him."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she continued,

" I wanted to hurt him at that moment and I wanted to be the person who had done it. I saw the way everyone looked at us when we were leaving. They looked at me as if I were some monster and he was the innocent one."

A small tear escaped her eye and trailed down her cheek.

"Everyone always assumes that I'm the bad guy. Everyone always assumes the worst without getting any of the details first."

She squeezed my hands and pulled them away from her,

"People just assume that I am this horrible evil person but no fucking asked what might've happened. What my side of things are!" She yelled as she pushed me away and jumped off the island. Before I could stop myself I walked to her and pulled her close to me. I don't know why I did it and frankly, I didn't care. We stayed like that for a few moments. Her head resting on my chest. I could feel her breathing begin to even out. I took her face in my hands and looked straight into those green eyes that had now glossed over. I could see the slight trail that her tears had left as they fell down her face.

I hate this. I hate seeing her like this.

"Catalina you are no monster. If anyone is a monster it is me because I would've set more than just that boy's pants on fire and if people are too stupid to see all the good that is in you, then they are not worthy of you and do not deserve to have you in their life."

It was true. Every word I spoke to her. Here was this small creature who was crying because she thought she was a monster for defending herself.

A monster wouldn't cry. A monster wouldn't be upset that people feared them.

"Why do you think you're a monster Lucifer?"

No one has ever asked me that before,

Yet I smiled as I answered her,

"I'm the devil, I was born to be a monster princess."

Ever so slightly she grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers,

"I've seen my fair share of monsters in my life and you, Lucifer, are no monster. A pain in the ass perhaps, but no monster."

We stayed like that for a few more moments. Just us. Our fingers intertwined, just gazing at each other.

Why does this feel so right with her?

"It's getting late, we should probably get to bed." She whispered.

Not yet. Please just a few more moments.

"Show me your flame. One more time." I asked, just desperate to have one more moment with her. She untangled her hand from mine and held out her hand in between us. I only glanced at it a second and looked back at her as she gazed at the little magic she conjured up.

"What does it feel like? To have this gift?"

She shrugged and finally glanced up at me,

"When I'm angry the flame is like a siren calling to me. Like I can hear a million tiny voices calling out to me. Sometimes I don't want to use it but when I do, I find it comforting, and when I don't use it, I feel mournful. Like some part of me is being caged up again."

Caged. She used that word again.

"You keep saying that word. Caged. What do you mean when you say it?"

Catalina tensed as the delicate flames danced between her fingertips.

"Whenever my mother was disappointed in me, which was pretty often, she would lock me away in my room."

"How long were you locked in there?"

"Hours, sometimes days. Once she left me there for two weeks."

WEEKS!

"She fed me one meal a day and a few cups of water throughout. I was only allowed to use the bathroom three times a day and a shower every other day."

"What things would you do for her to even do that?"

I was curious. What could a child possibly do that was so bad that the mother would consider locking their child away for weeks?

Catalina shrugged,

"If I didn't get a high enough grade in my classes in school If I talked back while getting a punishment, One time she locked me up because I didn't wake up the first time she woke me up for school."

I hated her. I hated her mother.

"It all depended on her mood and what kind of day she was having, if it was a bad day, just me breathing too loud would set her off, but if she had a somewhat good day it would take a little more."

The small little ember began to grow as her shoulders tensed up. I grasped her hand that was holding the ember and she relaxed as the flame extinguished.

"I think we should get to bed. Like I said, It's getting late."

"I'll walk you to your room."

We walked the few short moments it took to get to her door in silence but that confession she had given me still played in my head. Locked away. Caged by the people who were supposed to shelter and protect not hurt and lock away.

"You said you were born to be a monster. What did you mean by that?" She asked as we approached her door.

"How can we truly know good in this world if there is no evil?"

I brushed a strand of hair out of her face and gently tucked it behind her ear,

" Everyone has a role to play in this world, Catalina. Mine just so happens to be the villain."

I opened her door and began to turn away. I made it halfway down the hallway when I heard her voice again,

"What role would you want to play?"

Don't do this princess.

"Do not assume that I am some tortured soul looking for redemption. I am what I am and nothing is going to change that. This role was decided the moment I was created and it is a role I will continue to have for the rest of eternity."

I didn't dare breathe as I heard her make her way down the hallway to me and rest her delicate hand on my shoulder.

"The path others have laid out for you doesn't have to be the one you follow."

Not true. My fate was decided the moment I was created.

This is what I was meant to be. What I will always be.

I rested my hand atop of hers,

"You should get some rest."

I didn't wait for her response. I practically ran down the hallway from her and damn if it wasn't one of the hardest things to do.

I just need to get away for a few minutes.

I walked over to the balcony and pried open the sliding glass door.

I didn't want to walk away from her. I wanted to stay. I wanted to believe the words that she was saying. That I didn't have to be the monster I was created to be. I didn't have to be the dark brooding fuck-up that was full of evil and hate. She thought I could be different. That somehow I could change.

I CAN'T!

I gripped the edge of the balcony ledge tighter.

I couldn't be those things. I couldn't change it. I was who I was and there was no changing that and that never bothered me before. I accepted who I was born to be, and the role I was supposed to play. The fate that had been assigned to me from the moment of my creation and would follow me until my demise.

So why does it bother me now!?

Why? Why did it matter to me all of a sudden? Why did it matter so much to me what she thought I could be?

I needed to get out of here. Just to clear my head for a few brief moments.

Fly. Flying always helps.

The familiar slight pain of my wings emerging was a feeling I would never get over. Flying was amazing for me. It shut off my head. I could fly for hours and hours and never get tired of it.

I stepped up onto the ledge and readied myself.

I needed this. I needed the thoughts and ideas in my head to just turn off for a moment.

What has she done to me?

Comments

0 Comments
Best Newest

Contents
Settings
  • T
  • T
  • T
  • T
Font

Welcome to FullEpub

Create or log into your account to access terrific novels and protect your data

Don’t Have an account?
Click above to create an account.

lf you continue, you are agreeing to the
Terms Of Use and Privacy Policy.