Chapter 13

13

Odalie wasn’t quick enough to disguise her sudden intake of breath.

He smoothed back a strand of her long blond hair. “Nobody grieved much at my house,” he confessed. “It turns out that he got greedy and was pulling some dough off the top before he turned in his take.” He kissed her nose. “The big guys don’t tolerate that without a really good reason. My dad didn’t have one. Just greed. And he’d insulted one of the lieutenants who took orders from the big boss down in Jersey.”

“It’s all very complicated.”

He smiled. “You have no idea.” He stared at her. “And you won’t. One of the cardinal rules is that you don’t discuss business with family members who aren’t involved in it.”

“Did your mother know what he did?”

“She didn’t. Not for sure. When the cops came to get him now and then, she was always quick to say that she was a housewife and knew nothing about how Jackie did business or even who he did it with.”

“Did it work?”

“It did. The cops were local boys who grew up in the neighborhood. They knew her family. They knew her. She almost married one of the cops. Big Irish guy with a red nose and a wild sense of humor. We all liked him.”

“Past tense?” she asked, fishing.

He shrugged. “He was pulling over a speeding car. Got out to give a ticket and dropped dead of a heart attack right at the driver’s side door.”

“Oh, gosh!”

“My mother grieved. She said she wished she’d married him when he asked. For a long time, I was as much a victim as she was. It’s hard on kids, having a violent parent. He liked drugs, too, and that made it worse.”

“I guess I had it pretty good, growing up.”

“Your family is terrific,” he said. “My grandparents were like your parents. They were good people. They had nothing to do with anything outside the law. Maybe if I’d been left with them, I’d have turned out better.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” she said indignantly.

He studied her curiously. “You can’t have been around Stasia all this time without knowing something about my past.”

“Of course not.”

He scowled. “And it doesn’t bother you?”

“It does,” she confessed. “Because I kept hearing about the death threats against you.”

He was fascinated. “I meant the things I’ve done.”

She searched his eyes. “I worried about what might happen to you,” she said simply, and flushed when he kept staring. “Even though you just tolerated me while all that business was going on, when you were in danger.”

“I tolerated you because I could have eaten you like candy, even then,” he said gruffly.

Her heart raced. He drew her up closer and bent to her mouth, then kissed her slowly, insistently, his lips demanding but tender, nurturing. Her hand slid up to his hard cheek and rested there while she drowned in joy.

He lifted his head, his breath a little quick. “You missed those first steps with boys and went in headfirst with me,” he said huskily. “I hope you don’t regret it.”

She shook her head slowly, searching his face with eyes that adored it. “No way.”

“One day...” he began.

She put her fingers over his sensual mouth and smiled. “There isn’t any ‘one day,’” she pointed out. “There’s today. Right now.”

He chuckled softly and kissed her again. “Okay. That’s the way we’ll play it.”

She curled up against him. She’d never been so happy in her whole life.

His big hand tangled softly in her hair. He felt the same way. His life had been empty until now. He’d had women in it, he’d made lots of money. But there hadn’t been this incredible joy, this feeling of warmth that burst inside him. Women had never had such an effect on him. He’d loved his first wife, but even that experience hadn’t had this intensity. Everything felt new and bright and shiny.

He glanced at the thin gold watch on his wrist. “I have to make a couple of phone calls and then I’m going to turn in.” He got up and pulled her up and kissed her to within an inch of her life.

When he let go, she was breathless and her were eyes were so bright with joy that they almost blinded him.

He smiled slowly. He loved her reaction to him. “What would you like to do on the weekend?” he asked. “Ballet? Broadway show? Opera?”

“Anything,” she whispered, her eyes riveted to his. “As long as we go together.”

His heart jumped. He’d been so careful to keep her at arm’s length, but now he was really in over his head. There was no way out. And he didn’t care. He was happier than he’d ever been.

He sighed. “Okay. We’ll decide in the morning.”

“Have you heard from Mrs. Murdock?”

He nodded. “She called earlier, when I was answering calls in the office,” he said. “They’re still running tests and talking to specialists.” He touched her soft mouth. “It’s just as well. I’m not ready for you to leave.”

She grinned.

He bent and kissed her nose. “Go to sleep.”

“You, too.”

He let her go. “We’ll go walking in the park in the morning, how about that? Unless you’d rather go shopping?”

She shook her head. “Walking is nice, especially on days when it’s just a little nippy and the leaves are turning. I love this time of year!” She sighed. “The only thing I love more is when the Christmas decorations go up. I love to see the bright colors everywhere, and the big Christmas tree over the ice-skating rink. The holidays back home are lovely, but New York is flashy. I adore it!”

He laughed as he watched her face. She was always so enthusiastic about things that pleased her. She made him feel as if he had champagne in his veins.

It was an odd sensation. He didn’t pay a lot of attention to it, of course. They could live for the moment, just for a week or two. But reality would soon come to invade the new and exciting relationship they were enjoying. He knew, as she didn’t, that there was no future for an ingenue with a man like him. Everything was against them. But he was going to enjoy her as long as he could. Later, when he was alone again, he’d have memories as sweet as candy canes.

The park was gorgeous. The maple trees were just starting to show a little color here and there. Before too much longer, they’d be decked out in yellow and orange leaves, bright as paint splashed on canvas. The wind was just nippy enough to be pleasant without chilling bones inside overcoats.

“I used to hear about New York City when I was little. I thought all of New York State was one big city.”

He chuckled. “A lot of people think like that.”

“Yes,” she agreed, nuzzling close to let a faster walker go by. “People used to say it was unfriendly, too, but it’s not. Once you’re here for a while, you get to know the people who live around you. It’s like a lot of little neighborhoods put together.”

“It is.” He had her hand in his while they walked. It felt good just to be with her.

She glanced up at him with loving eyes, which she tried to hide. “I really hate to bring it up. But what about Phillip James?”

He stopped and turned to her with a long sigh. “I suppose I can tell you. He’s one of those annoying variables that you have to add into every equation,” he said after a minute. “Right now, we’re playing politics with him. I have an acquaintance who sits on the intelligence committee. He was going to schedule a hearing and I had him protected from blackmail attempts by James to stop it. But he’s got a daughter with problems.” He smiled sadly. “It’s amazing how many people can be blackmailed.”

“He can’t be responsible for what his child does. Can he?” Then she remembered her own time with the law and how her poor parents stood to be prosecuted with her while both sides tried to find a compromise.

“He can,” he replied. “In politics, you never know what sort of scandal can cost you your position. When you’re a congressman, you’re even more vulnerable, especially if your constituents are conservatives. His are.”

“Is he a good person?”

He shrugged. “He keeps his word, and he doesn’t take kickbacks. That makes him a good person, in my book. But he had his hand in a particularly nasty pie when I saved your older brother from James and convinced him to help. I managed to get rid of the evidence that would have convicted him back then, but his daughter put him right back on the firing line.” He studied her pretty face. “We give hostages to fate when we love.” He laughed shortly. “Funny. A politician said that, back in the sixties. It’s still true today.”

“Isn’t there any way to get him before a judge?” she asked.

“I’m looking for one. It takes time.”

She sighed as she looked up at him, her eyes soft with feeling, her face faintly flushed from the cool wind and excitement at being near him.

“You’ll ruin me,” he said suddenly, taking her by the waist and pulling her gently closer.

“How?” she wondered aloud.

“The way you look at me,” he said, his eyes falling to her soft mouth. “You make me feel taller.”

She laughed. “Can I help it if you’re gorgeous?”

“You’re the gorgeous one,” he said, smiling. “Everywhere we go, you turn heads. Good thing I’m not the jealous type.” Actually he was, but he hoped it didn’t show. It was never a good idea to let a woman know how she affected you.

She let her eyes fall so he wouldn’t see the disappointment in them. “Yes,” she said.

He looked over her head. “What about that audition at the Met?”

Her heart jumped and ran away. She felt panic from the toes upward. Everybody thought it was just the audition that made her jittery, that kept her awake nights. Nobody but Stasia knew the truth. She’d kept it hidden even from her mother, all this time. It was why she hadn’t gone the traditional route to the Met, with competition at the district level and then at the Met itself. Instead, she had an agent to present her, along with the requisite materials that included an unaugmented tape of herself singing two arias.

It was easy to sing in a studio. Even to sing in the choir. Or to sing in competition at smaller venues.

But it took a whole different kind of attitude to get up in front of hundreds of opera fans who knew the works letter by letter and impress them. It took guts to face reviewers who wouldn’t take into consideration a small-town girl’s hidden fears. It took even more guts to do that night after night after night, in some of the biggest cities on earth. Because it might mean a trip overseas to sing in operas there as well as just at the Met in New York.

“You’re so quiet,” Tony said. “What’s wrong?”

She forced a smile to her lips. “Nothing. I was just thinking about the audition, and my voice lessons.”

“Listen, you sing like an angel,” he said softly. “There’s no question of getting picked to sing at Lincoln Center, you hear me? You’ll be turning down venues. I’ve never heard a voice like yours, and I know opera.”

She sighed as she met his dark, warm eyes. “I’m just being jumpy, that’s all,” she confessed.

“Stop being jumpy. How about a cappuccino and a panino?”

“A panini?” she corrected.

He made a face. “Panino is singular. Panini is plural. Both mean a sandwich.”

“Oh!” She learned operas in Italian by rote memorization. Her ability with languages was another sticking point. She had trouble with even the most basic grammar. She studied hard, but her mind wasn’t tuned to foreign tongues.

“So. You learned some new Italian. We’ll get coffee and a sandwich. Singular. Not plural.”

She laughed with pure delight. He was so much fun to be with. She adored him and hoped it didn’t show. He liked her in bed, but he was no different away from it. She was head over heels, but Tony was used to women, and he didn’t react the same way Odalie did. He was fond of her, of course, but what she wanted was something wilder, deeper, eternal. She felt that way. He didn’t.

There was a song about love. It expressed the certainty that you couldn’t make somebody love you. As she stared into Tony’s dark eyes, she felt an emptiness that all earth’s oceans couldn’t fill.

“Now you look all sad,” he chided.

“I’m just hungry,” she said lightly. It was true. She was hungry for something other than food, however. “And I’d love a sandwich, singular, with a coffee.” She grinned.

He turned her around and they started back down the path.

“I’d love to go to the park in warm weather,” she said. “And maybe feed the ducks.”

He sipped cappuccino. “We’ll put that on the agenda,” he said easily.

Her heart jumped and she smiled. That sounded hopeful. Summer was a long way away. He was looking forward. It gave her hope.

“Not too long until Christmas,” he mused. “What would you like Santa to bring you? Diamonds? Pearls? A Ferrari?”

She stared at him and just smiled. “I already have diamonds and pearls and a very fast red Jaguar.” She cocked her head and studied him. “I’d like more days like this with you. That’s all.” She ducked her head and sipped coffee so that he wouldn’t see that she really wasn’t teasing.

He chuckled. “Okay,” he replied. He was trying not to look as pleased as he was. Her feelings for him were blatant. They made him feel as if he could conquer the world.

She peered at him over her cup. He looked...different somehow. Younger. More carefree. Gone was the somber, antagonistic man she’d known for so long.

She grinned. “Okay, then.”

“You never answered me about the rest of the weekend,” he said. “Opera? Ballet? Broadway?”

“You choose,” she said. “I love all those things.” She made a face. “Broadway, not so much, though. Really, I’m not big on musicals.”

His eyebrows arched. “You’re serious?”

She nodded.

“Why?”

She made a face. “It’s frivolous music.”

He burst out laughing.

“Well, it is.” She defended herself. “Opera is exquisite. It’s like angels singing. But Broadway is...” She shrugged.

“Frivolous music,” he repeated, and his dark eyes flashed with humor. “I’ll have to remember that.”

“While we’re out, we need a few things to make supper,” she said.

He smiled slowly. He loved working in the kitchen with her. “Okay.”

She sighed as she finished her coffee. “You’re so much fun to be with,” she said without looking at him.

His big, beautiful hand reached across the table and caught hers in a warm clasp. “So are you, beautiful.”

It was a moment out of time. She looked into his eyes and got lost. So did he. In the middle of the exchange of glances, a deep voice interrupted them.

“Cappuccino and sandwiches for lunch?”

They looked up. Dane Hunter, the US marshal who’d helped save Tony from a murder charge, grinned at them.

“Sit down and have some yourself,” Tony invited.

“Not on my salary,” he chuckled, pulling up a chair.

“My treat,” Tony said.

Hunter glared at him. “I don’t take bribes.”

“I can see the headlines now,” Tony mused. “US marshal bribed by former mob boss with panini and cappuccino...”

“You know what I mean,” the other man chuckled.

“Yes, I do, sadly,” Tony replied. “The media would have a field day.”

“Back in my father’s day, the media had real journalists who told the truth. Now truth is whatever doesn’t hurt somebody’s feelings.”

“You’re getting poetic,” Tony accused.

He sighed. “I guess so.”

“Is your dad still working security for Ritter Oil?”

He nodded. “He can’t outrun the bad guys anymore, but he hires men who can,” he chuckled. “Colby Lane’s still there, too.”

“Old man Ritter’s a card.”

He nodded. “His son isn’t bad, either. There are rumors that he’ll take over the company when his dad retires. He’ll do a good job.”

“Any feedback about James?” Tony asked, lowering his voice.

He nodded. “That sympathy card might not have been your best idea.”

Tony grinned. “Come on. It was funny. Admit it.”

“I guess it was,” Hunter chuckled. “But it stoked the fires. He’s got Peters out beating the bushes for ways to put the hurt on Tanner Everett.”

Odalie’s faint gasp was audible.

“Don’t worry,” Hunter told her gently. “He’s got more security than the president right now. James would have to be insane to go after him. But you and your sister-in-law are easier targets.”

“Covered,” Tony said. “I put on extra people.”

Hunter’s dark eyes narrowed. “Background checks?”

He scowled. “Of course background checks. Ben hired an agency to... Okay, what the hell do you mean?” He’d put his coffee down with a thud and his eyes were intent and unblinking.

“One of the men your man was going to hire won’t pass a background check. Peters gifted him a clean background, did a little computer work and sent him to Ben.”

Tony was cursing in Italian under his breath.

“It’s okay. Ben doesn’t seem to trust anybody because he hired another agency to vet the agency he hired first.” He chuckled and shook his head. “Damn, he’s good. I wish he worked for me.”

Tony was relaxing a little. “That’s why he works for me.”

“He was something as a wrestler, too. I sort of miss seeing him in the ring.”

“Me, too.”

Hunter chuckled, because Tony and Odalie spoke at the same time and then looked at each other and laughed.

“Don’t tell me. You like wrestling.”

She nodded enthusiastically. “I have an autographed photo of Ben from his wrestling days. My dad took me to Dallas to see a match when I was in school.”

He just stared at her. “Rodeo, wrestling, couture and skeet shooting medals. Miss Everett, you are unique.”

“Very, and kindly look in some other direction,” Tony mused, although his eyes were twinkling.

He shrugged. “No need to worry about me. I’m off women for the next hundred years, at least.” He got to his feet. “If I hear anything else, I’ll let you know. Meanwhile, double-check everybody.”

“You know it.”

They watched him leave. As he had before, Tony dialed a number and related the meeting. He chuckled as he hung up.

“I’m just confirming it,” he told Odalie. “There’s no such thing as privacy in my line of work. I want everybody clued in that I’m no stool pigeon.”

“Well, that’s obvious,” she replied with a smile. “No feathers,” she whispered.

He chuckled.

Nights were getting harder to endure. Odalie hadn’t hungered for a man in her whole life before Tony, because she had no idea what people were talking about when they mentioned passion. But now she did know, and she was starving to death for him.

But they cooked together, watched TV together and then went to bed separately, because Ben was always around. As Tony whispered to her one evening after supper, Ben had ears like a lynx.

However, the abstention was working on Tony as well. One afternoon after they’d gone walking in the park, they ended up at her apartment with the phones turned off and the doors locked while they indulged in several hours of the most intense passion either had ever known.

Tony groaned as he shuddered over her one last time, after a marathon of intimacy that left them both satiated and exhausted.

She sprawled half on his body and half off, shivering in the aftermath.

“It just gets better and better,” she moaned, because every time she moved, it was like a little climax, she was so sensitized.

“And better,” he agreed huskily. His big hand smoothed over her silky skin, pressing her body close on his. “I was starving to death.”

“So was I.” She sighed. “It really is like eating potato chips.”

His hand tangled in her long hair as he fought to calm his heartbeat and his breathing. “And it’s a good thing I’m sterile or you’d probably be very pregnant right now. Then where would your opera career be, Miss Everett?” he teased lightly.

She sighed. Her cheek moved against the soft hair over the hard muscle of his chest. “Babies are sweet,” she said softly. “But I guess you’re right.”

His heart jumped. “You like kids?”

“Yes.” She kissed his chest. “I like opera, too, though,” she added so that he wouldn’t feel that she was chiding him for his lack of fertility.

His eyes were quiet and sad as they studied the ceiling. “I would have loved kids,” he said quietly. “It just wasn’t in the books.”

“Life gives us some things and takes others away. I think it evens out, though.”

“Yeah.”

She yawned. “And now I’m sleepy.”

He laughed. “Me, too. At least we don’t have to worry about Ben overhearing us.”

“I never knew it would be like this,” she confessed. “I mean, it’s almost like an obsession. You get so hungry...!” She flushed and stopped the words.

“It is an obsession,” he agreed. “The sweetest obsession in the world.” He kissed the top of her head. “I don’t know how I lived before you came along.”

Her lips parted on a quick breath. Had she really heard him say that?

His arms drew her closer. “One day at a time—isn’t that your mantra?” he teased. “It works for me, too. But I can’t live on leftover passion,” he added at her ear. “After all, we have to have something to look forward to.” He rolled her over and kissed her hungrily. “Feast after famine,” he whispered into her softly swollen mouth. “And I fear we’ve feasted too enthusiastically. Again.”

She looked up at him with warm, loving eyes. “I don’t care,” she said huskily. “It’s worth it.”

He brushed the damp hair away from her face. “I don’t like hurting you,” he said seriously. “I have to learn to be less enthusiastic when we’re together. I’m sorry. I should have stopped sooner.”

“I didn’t want to stop and you didn’t hurt me,” she denied, her arms wreathed around his neck. “I love being with you like this. I love it that you want me so much.” She swallowed, hard, and lowered her eyes to his chest. “I want you...all the time,” she confessed, her voice so soft that he had to strain to hear it.

He groaned as he bent to her mouth and kissed her with a tender intensity that made tears spring in her eyes. “It’s like that with me, too,” he whispered. “Even when you’re not with me, you’re still with me.”

“Yes.”

He wrapped her up tight and just held her for the longest time. He couldn’t conceive of a life without her. But she had a unique talent, one that she’d spent her whole life nurturing so that she could sing at the Met. It wasn’t fair to her to keep her here like this, with no commitment, to...use her.

He hated the way that sounded. He really wasn’t using her. He adored her. She’d become as necessary to him as breathing. But he kept his feelings hidden, under control. He didn’t want to influence her choices. She should be free to do what she wanted with her life.

Maybe one day he’d have a chance to keep her, somewhere down the line. But he couldn’t force her to choose a life with him, not with all their differences. He felt guilty that he’d pushed it like this, that he hadn’t been able to resist her.

He really hadn’t. He’d ached for her, and not just for a few weeks. Ever since his first sight of her, he’d been obsessed with her. She was the icing on the cake, the angel on top of the Christmas tree. She was...the whole world.

But he couldn’t tell her that. It wasn’t fair. Right now, she was caught up in her first love affair, and she was saturated with hunger for him. It would wear off, as obsessions did. Then where would they be? She had opera, which was her life’s work.

He had...well, he had work, too. But his work would never make up for the lack of Odalie in his life.

Even if opera would make up for the lack of him in her life. It was something that had to be faced.

But not right now. Not today.

He rolled onto his side and curled her soft body into his. And they fell asleep, with nothing resolved.