Chapter 27

27

“Your mind is in your past today,” Ty stated in his deep voice.

The last of the Ogham Staves were laid out on the low table between us. I remembered not a single one. “It is, sir.”

“The past can be helpful.”

And not. I heard his unspoken advice. “It’s not helping me today, but I can’t seem to return to the present.”

“Would speaking of your past help?”

Cold humor found me as I imagined doing so. “No, sir. Thank you, though. There’s something else I’d like to ask you about my divination affinity.”

Ty placed his hands in his lap and waited.

“I was exploring the attacking abilities of my divination magic yesterday. When I opened the channel with that intent, I was nearly blinded by threads attaching the people in the room to each other, and to others out of sight.”

The mentor nodded. “What was the nature of the threads?”

I pulled a face, thinking back. “I have no idea. They glistened like a spider’s webs. I guess they varied in thickness, but I didn’t have time to pay attention.”

“Perhaps we could explore that now. There have been instances of divination magic taking such a form in our history, but threads can mean different things.”

I was mostly sure that the cage had triggered my demon’s panic attack, but I wouldn’t risk drawing forth that magic again in company. I glanced around the center, hoping to see Rooke, who’d gone to find Spyne after he’d missed his third meal. He wasn’t at dinner last night, or breakfast and lunch today. The quad had tried to place the conversation they’d shared with him in a positive light, but the verdict was that Spyne didn’t want to see me. That he felt betrayed—and like I was betraying the coven. He no longer trusted me, and what I was doing was wrong.

He was right on every count.

“I’m going to explore it more in private,” I said.

Ty didn’t reply as I gathered my staves and left the center.

Instead of going to my temporary guest quarters where Wild was sleeping after a night shift, I walked to Wild’s room that he never used anymore. He hadn’t needed to move rooms when we mixed Fertim and Vero magus together, and the familiar bed and walls and lack of decoration were a comfort.

I perched on the edge of the bed. “Fuck, Corentine. You’re in some shit.”

My demon uncurled in my chest. She’d been awake since the cage incident but hadn’t spoken to me yet.

Sorry. Her single word rang within me.

She’d spoken in demon tongue I realized after a second, and I could understand the dialect as easily as if she’d spoken my language. Which meant when we’d reunited, I’d gained knowledge of demon language. Cultural intricacies, too, because I also knew that the demon meaning of “sorry” differed from our version of the word. She was apologizing for weakness, and the demon version of “sorry” could only be applied this way. She wouldn’t apologize for betrayal, for example, because my weakness would have allowed her to betray me. In that situation—bizarrely—I would apologize to her.

I shook my head to clear it as the new information barraged my senses.

You were trapped for a long time, I replied to her in my mind.

Yes, she answered. The pain was testing.

Torture’s more like it. I’d felt part of that pain prior to finding her inside the demon realm. The cage reminded you of that pain.

Sorry.

If a magus apologized for panicking after trauma like hers, I’d bend over backward to reassure them. That would insult my demon. How do we free you from the cage around your mind?

You don’t. Another does.

She had to save herself. Let me know if you need help. Your cage is my cage.

Sorry, my demon repeated. She was pissed off with herself.

Do you feel ready for battle?I asked in the demon version of how are you doing?

She flexed within me, and our muscles tensed in response. She could control my body. Though I’d experience that during the cage incident. She’d taken over then too.

Nearly, my demon hissed. Her black smoke swirled in my chest.

Why are our scales and smoke black? I haven’t seen another black-scaled demon yet.

Our father was of the crimson caste, she replied. But demon blood mixes with light blood.

My magus heritage had turned the color black. How do you know?

She replied after a beat, I know.

And didn’t want to tell me how. I shrugged. What happens from here?

That depends on your weakness.

Which one?I laughed after.

She didn’t. The topic of possessing weakness was not a funny one for her. Good to know. Good to know.

The one where you don’t accept me as part of you, she stated.

I swallowed, and fresh guilt swamped me, though she seemed factual rather than hurt or angry. My demon was inside me and had witnessed the problems arising from her presence here. I feel right with you in me.

Yet me being here makes everything else wrong.

Not everything else. You being here makes things with Wild right. That was no word of a lie. I’d started to feel another urge this morning in the mating ritual. The mating ritual is still going.

You are about to enter the final and most important phase.

We were? It’s the last one?

I couldn’t deny feeling relief. I also couldn’t deny the trickle of fear that accompanied it. The final step in our ritual? The most important, apparently. How would Wild and I change this time? I couldn’t fathom being any closer to him. With so much uncertainty in our lives and future, this added uncertainty wasn’t totally welcome, even though I’d learned our mating ritual couldn’t come after all the other factors in our lives.

I wanted to put us first.

The last, she repeated. Same number as demon mating.

Do you believe the Mother used the demon’s ability to mate to allow me to mate with Wild?

Perhaps. Your mating is different, though. Weak.

Weak? Not how I’d describe the process that damn well drove me near insanity at every turn. What’s a demon mating like then?

More violence. More pain. More snapping and gnawing.

I’m gonna be grateful for the magus version, weakness and all.

We were silent for a time.

Please tell me that you’re here for good, I begged her in the quiet.

She smiled inside, and I smiled back.

I am here, lightness. I will stay with you until death. I will not sacrifice myself again. He would not allow a second escape, and once the mating ritual is complete, my absence would destroy us and our mate.

Her words chilled me.

After feeling her panic at the cage and seeing her crumpled in a heap inside the demon realm, I would never, never expect her to go back there in a bid to save us. I’m stronger now. We can make it through this together.

No reply came, and that seemed an answer in itself.

Have you seen the demon king? she seemed to ask with it.

Yep. Sure had.

“How do all the problems go away?” I asked the quiet room. The demon king was one of those problems, but the more pressing issue was whether Spyne would reveal what he knew.

I’d thought my demon was asleep again and curled up, but she answered, “With more resilience.”

Moreresilience.

She spoke of it like I possessed an endless source, and I liked to think I had a lot more of the stuff than most.

But even this gal was nearly tapped dry.