Chapter Seventeen

"I can't help it! I'm so excited."

Tonight was the first time we're going to Chained, just us. Tonight wasn't connected to some sort of event fostering daddy/little dynamics, and I couldn't wait to throw my backpack on and race there. I wasn't patient. Good thing Daddy was here. He had enough patience for both of us.

I handed it to my pack to him for inspection. He wasn't one to micromanage my life, but I'd asked him to make sure I was ready for tonight. It would take a lot for me to move past missing something important, and I didn't trust myself not to. Not when I was this filled with anticipation.

"Do you have everything you need?" he asked.

I shrugged.

"We'll make sure," Daddy assured me in the exact way I needed him to.

"Thank you, Daddy."

He opened my bag, took everything out, and laid it on my bed. He made sure I had my favorite jams, worn and well-loved. He double checked that Bunny Love, the stuffed rabbit was there. It looked exactly like the one that I drew for him that first night, right down to the outfit. He found someone on the internet who handmade stuffies using pictures you sent them, and it was absolutely perfect. One by one, everything from my socks to my spare paci were spread out for inventory.

"It looks like you have everything." He kissed my cheek and then folded up my backpack and brought it to the closet.

"Daddy, are we still going?" I'd be heartbroken if he said we weren't, but also I'd understand and not make a fuss. This was as big a deal for him as it was for me, just a different kind.

"Of course we are." He turned around and held up a backpack embossed with Cat-terine's face. "I think this would suit you better, though."

I couldn't help the giggles that erupted into laughter.

"You like it?"

"I love it. How did you do it?" I snatched it from his arms and hugged it close. It looked like she did that very first day.

"I took the picture off the shelter website. It was under their alumni portfolio." What a clever daddy.

I shoved all my things inside, sucked it up, and put it on, and stood proudly.

"See, Cat-terine? You don't have to miss anything. You're going with us."

I wrapped my arms around Daddy for a squeeze, and he walked me out to the car. The drive was short, and we were there fairly early as far as the evening went. But for a special day, you didn't want to be mushed in a crowd. Early was best.

"I booked us that room that you like so much." He was so full of surprises tonight.

"The one with the ducks?" I asked.

"The one with the ducks."

I could barely contain my excitement, I was practically bouncing my way there. It was a challenge to even get through check-in. I wanted to get there so badly that and as soon as the door opened, I ran straight to it, leaving Daddy in the dust.

This time it was Daddy who was giggling as he caught up to me and opened the door. It was just as wonderful as I remembered. Ducks everywhere. On the changing table sat rubber duckies. A mural with ducks covered the wall. There was even a duck-shaped basket filled with personal items a caregiver might need.

I wasn't even a huge lover of all things duck, but there was something magical about this room. Daddy said it was probably the glitter they used with the paint. And he could well be right. I did like glitter. Too much.

"Let's get dressed, so we can enjoy our night, okay?"

I nodded, put my bag down, and took off my shoes. I liked it when Daddy got me ready, but for some reason, I didn't like him near my shoes. I was always worried that I had stepped in something or they were gross. It was 100 percent a me problem.

He didn't waste time helping me get my clothes off. Today wasn't about the naked part. We'd save that for another time.

"You're ready for your clothes now." He kissed my cheek. He started with my thick underwear and then helped me put on my duckie socks. I hadn't even packed them. He must've put them in my backpack as a surprise.

Finally, it was time for my jams. One foot at a time, he had me step into them. The first time he found out I wore socks in my footie jams, he gave me a questioning look. I explained that the insides were prickly. Instead of judging me, he felt around the elastic and agreed with me. No one had ever even pretended to look at my issue and see if it was real. They always assumed it was me being…I didn't even know what.

Daddy promised to find some that didn't have that kind of thread, and he did. They were wonderful and the only pair I didn't need socks for.

But tonight was a big deal, and I wanted to wear the first little outfit he saw me in. They were distressed and old. He didn't care. He understood it wasn't a commentary on him and how he took care of me. It was 100 percent about comfort and memories—our memories.

He took me by the hand, and we walked straight to the little room. Our plan was to order dinner after we played and maybe meet some new people. They had adorable little food and combination platters that combined them with big food for caregivers and littles to share. I loved that there were plenty of options. I was going to enjoy them, but first, it was playtime.

We'd been in a little room before, but it had always been an organized activity. Today was the first time we were there just for free play, and it was a bit overwhelming.

We were greeted as we walked in by Miss Lily. She had a way of making the room feel homey.

"Welcome back. We have some fun things today. We have bubbles going in that corner, car races over there, and, of course, there's all of the blocks."

"I like bubbles." I leaned in to Daddy.

"If you get bored with bubbles, today's craft is finger painting, and, of course, we'll have stories on the half hour. If you need anything let me know."

"Snack?" I asked, like it was a complete sentence.

"Oh, how could I forget. We always have snacks. Tonight it's orange juice pouches and animal crackers. For our healthy little boys and girls, we have trees," which was code for broccoli.

"Sounds perfect," I replied, fully prepared to skip the green stuff.

"Bubbles?" Daddy asked.

"Bubbles!" It had been years since I played with my bubbles. Not only did she have all the colors, but also a bubble gun.

Tons of little bubbles that sparkled as they hit the light floated in the air. I crawled around, popping them until I was out of breath and ready to move on. Quite a few littles joined, and I met three new people.

That had been my goal for the night: to make friends. I was pretty proud of myself for reaching out and, when it was time to eat, I took my three new friends with us, and we had a snack together. Daddy talked with their daddies and the one mommy. We were having a blast.

But as the next story time came, my energy depleted and I snuggled beside Daddy and listened to the Miss Lily read to us. Soon I was yawning. It wasn't even that late, and I wasn't tired, not really. But between the excitement of play and the relaxing nature of story after having a full belly of juice and broccoli —they had ranch —and animal crackers had me done. At least for a while..

"Did you want to take a break?" He kissed the top of my head. "We can go out into the main area and relax on the couches."

It sounded heavenly.

"Yes, Daddy."

We left the little room, and Daddy looked around until he found a group of littles and daddies who had some space left in their seating area. "

"Hi, we're new. We're hoping we could join you. I'm Elio and this is my boy, Lane."

"Well hello," a man holding a crochet project stood up. "I'm Bridger. This is my boy, Hudson, and these are our friends. We'd love to have you join us."

He introduced us to each of them, and we sat down. I played with the littles, and Daddy talked to the other daddies. It was the perfect ending to our first "real" night at Chained.