Chapter 14

He made all the arrangements, and as soon as she was cleared to travel and discharged, he only allowed her to grab some things from her place to take with her.

"Ronald is freaking out and wants to know when I'll be back." She told him.

"I have not decided yet; you might not be working at the gallery anymore."

"Now listen-"

"We can discuss what you will be doing later." He told her firmly. She then realized that it was no use arguing with him.

He was like a bulldozer, mowing down everything in its path. The night before she left, she had dinner with her siblings, who offered no objections to her leaving. She had spent a week in the hospital and barely put on two pounds.

"The trip will do you good," Karen said as she tried to keep her anxiety from showing. Her sister had been wheeled out of the hospital in a wheelchair, and even when she was getting up, it had taken her a while to do so.

Landen had solved the problem by scooping her into his arms and putting her inside the car.

The awful nausea was not plaguing her as much, but there were still episodes that left her weak.

"Your man said it's a peaceful cottage in the country area of Scotland, which should give you time to recuperate," Brian added. "When next we see you, we want you to look much better than you look now."

The flight was a little over eight hours, and during that time, he had insisted she spend it in the elegantly appointed cream and gold bedroom. As soon as she woke up after sleeping for three hours straight, supper had been brought in for her.

"Where is Mr. Chapman?" She inquired of the chicly dressed woman as she uncovered the meal of creamy potatoes and chicken swimming in a fragrant sauce.

"He is on a conference call at the moment." The woman told her with a smile. "He said to tell you he will be joining you momentarily."

Giving the woman a fleeting smile, Tessa wondered if he was avoiding her. They barely spoke two words on their way to the airport, and as soon as they boarded the plane, he insisted that she get some sleep.

"It's a long flight, and I don't want you getting exhausted."

He had also spent the night at his apartment, away from her, and had arrived in a car to pick her up early that morning.

Things had changed between them. Gone was the teasing and recklessly charming man she had known, replaced by a more somber and broodingly silent individual. She had a feeling that he was still upset that she had not contacted him about the pregnancy and his mother coming to see her.

She had seen him staring at her at intervals, with a slight frown on his brow, and she could not help but wonder if he regretted his involvement with her. She had looked in the mirror this morning, and what she had seen made her want to weep.

She was not usually vain about her looks, but the bones were too pronounced, and she looked like a slight wind would blow her away.

Her stomach was still raw, and the doctors had advised her to eat small portions during the day to build her appetite back up. She wanted to put the weight back on, not just for her sake but also for the baby she was carrying.

She was putting some potatoes in her mouth when he entered the room.

"Did you sleep well?" Even his voice was formal.

"I did."

"And you are eating. Good." Instead of coming to sit next to her on the bed, he took one of the comfortably padded chairs in the corner. Propping his ankle on his knee, he stared at her. "You look refreshed."

"I feel refreshed. Have you eaten?"

"I had a corned beef sandwich and a glass of wine." he glanced at his watch. "We still have approximately four hours to go before we arrive."

Her stomach revolted, and she realized she might have overeaten. Pushing away the tray, she picked up the glass of fruit punch and took a sip.

"Why are you taking me to Scotland?"

"Pardon?"

"Ever since you came back, I feel we are strangers. You barely look at me-"

"I am looking at you now."

"You haven't touched me."

"I believe I was the one who carried you out of the house and into the car. I also carried you up the steps and onto the plane. I would call that touching."

"Stop it." Putting aside the drink, she clasped her hands in front of her. "Stop treating me like a moron. Since you returned, you have treated me like someone you are barely acquainted with. Are you regretting the pregnancy? Regretting that we were involved?"

"Were?" His dark brows lifted. "I was under the impression that we still are."

"Are we? You have not even kissed me-"

"I can't."

She blinked at him. "I- What?"

He took his time getting to his feet, and she watched as he walked over to a cabinet built into the wall. Pouring the amber liquid into a glass, he took it with him back to stand at one of the portholes. "You need rest and recuperation," he said.

"Bullshit!"

He turned to look at her, eyes wandering over her animated face. Her dark brown eyes had the familiar sparkle but were still too thin.

He was afraid to touch her, and even though he wanted her like crazy, he was petrified that he would hurt her. It had been so long since he tasted her, and if he approached her sexually, he was not going to be gentle.

"Why do you think it is?" he asked mildly, swirling the drink in the glass.

"You are not interested anymore. I can see it on your face." She lifted her hands and dropped them back down, her fingers curling into fists. "Be a man and tell me to my face."

Taking a sip of his drink, he put the glass down. "I came back for you, did I not?"

"Was it just a duty? An obligation?"

His eyes glowered as he stared at her. "I am going to ignore that and chalk down this behavior to hormones-"

"Oh no, you don't!" She started to climb out of bed when he rushed over and stopped her. "Let go of me."

"I thought you were accusing me of not touching you."

She glared at him. "You want to play word games with me?"

"Don't upset yourself-"

"Stop it," she said wearily, struggling to get out of his hold. "I am not a piece of glass-"

"You certainly feel like one." Turning her to face him, he studied the mutinous expression on her face. "I cannot stand to be near you because when I am, the only thing I want to do is make love to you. And if I do, I am afraid I am going to tear you apart. Is that explanation enough?"

"You could just hold me-"

"No." Letting go of her, he slid off the bed. "I am hard." he finished harshly, turning towards her, his hand drifting to the front of his pants, drawing her attention to the bulge there.

"I am aching for you, and I am not a goddamned monster even though I bloody well feel like one. Look at you!" he gestured with one hand. "You are skin and bone, and I am aching to slide my dick so deep inside you that I cannot stand it. So, here is your explanation. Get some rest." Before she could respond, he had walked out.

Flopping back against the mound of pillows, she closed her eyes tight. She was on the verge of tears, which was what had been happening since she met him. It had become worse since she became pregnant.

But oh, she wanted him so damned much! She wanted to feel his arms around her, not just in an impersonal way, but to feel him taking her into his arms and kissing her with a passion that always managed to spiral out of control.

She was vulnerable and afraid that he was looking at her and finding her less than attractive. She did not want him to treat her like a porcelain doll. She felt like a woman in his arms, especially now; she wanted to feel that way again. She was feeling much better now and needed him so much!

In the cabin, Landen leaned back on one of the sofas and cradled the drink in his hand, a frown on his brow. He wanted her so damned much that he could barely keep still. He could not be in the same room as her and did not want to bury himself deep inside her.

And he blamed himself for everything. He sees how gaunt and tiny she is every time he looks at her. He just wanted her to get better and return to being the woman he was accustomed to. Tossing back the drink, he slammed the glass down, grabbed a blanket, and tried to get some sleep.

*****

"This is Mrs. Glenda Aitchenson. Glenda, meet my - er- my girlfriend Tessa Chambers."

"I understand you are expecting a wee bairn." The woman"s smile spread over her homely face as she wiped her hands in her apron and held it out to Tessa in greeting. "Welcome to our bonny home. How do you like it so far?"

"It's delightful, and the water is so blue. I am in love already."

"Plockton is the most beautiful place on God's green earth. I made supper. Please, come on in; you must be tired. I made haggis, and I guarantee you will love it. My husband, Thomas, will get the bags, and I will make up the master suite for you."

"We will be staying in separate rooms."

It took every ounce of will for Tessa not to show any reactions to that statement.

"Oh, but I thought-"

"Tessa needs her rest. She is just out of the hospital, and I need her to recover." he cut the woman off. "She will take the master, and I will take another room."

"Of course, Mr. Landen. Please follow me, Ms. Tessa; I am sure you want to freshen up."

"I would love that." Without looking at him, she made her way through the passageway after the housekeeper, her body rigid with anger.

Landen stood there staring after her and knew he had upset her. But he could not sleep in the same room as her. She was going to be pissed at him, but the priority was getting her well. He had almost lifted her out of the vehicle when they brought her, but she had told him coolly that she could walk the few steps independently.

He had stayed behind her and noticed how measured her steps were and how winded she was after the short walk. He could not touch her, no matter how much he was suffering because of it.

Swearing beneath his breath, he turned on his heels and went back out. The cottage was large enough and was situated near the harbor. It was near enough for him to see the various fishing boats anchored nearby.

Striding off toward the water, he dragged out a pack of cigars and took one out. He had started smoking again, which was a damned bad habit, but the stress was getting to him.

Flicking the lighter, he touched it to the tip and dragged the smoke into his lungs. His eyes squinted against the smoke.

He had to get his emotions under control. He had to be there for her, no matter what.

*****

When he returned, Tessa was already seated around the small dining table and eating the meal.

"I thought you had left."

Ignoring the caustic tone of her voice, he took off his light jacket and draped it over the coat hanger before walking over to the table. "I needed some air." Pulling out a chair, he reached for the plate the housekeeper had left out for him.

"Look, I am sorry for how I handled things."

"Sorry?" Pushing away the plate, she propped her elbows on the table and clasped her hands together. "Just sorry? No explanation as to why we are sharing separate bedrooms and why you are determined to stay away from me?"

"You already know why."

"Ah, yes. You cannot control your lust-"

"It's called passion," he told her tightly. "And I do not want to argue."

"Then that's too damn bad because I want to, and I am the pregnant woman here, which means that I should be the one accommodated. You brought me here away from my family so that you can dump me inside that bedroom suite and walk away."

"I am here, am I not?"

"Are you? I am beginning to wonder if you want to be. Please don't think you owe me a goddamn thing, Landen. If you feel uncomfortable being here, just say so."

He glared at her for a minute and could feel his appetite slipping away. "I don't want to fight," he said quietly. "I just want you to get better."

"I am not ill, dammit! I am pregnant."

"And I did this to you!" His hand slammed down on the table and rattled the silverware, causing her to jump. "I planted my seed inside you, and as a result, you are suffering. Look at you! You are suffering, and I am the cause of it."

"Landen-"

"Let me finish! I breezed into your life, and like a bloody selfish moron, I persuaded you to have a fling with me. A fling which turned into something so much more, and I did not think of using protection."

Leaning back in his chair, he closed his eyes wearily. "I am sick about this - sick to my stomach. I cannot bear what I did to you, and it's killing me, don't you get it? I hate myself for putting you through it."

There was silence after that impassioned speech, and Tessa felt her heart fluttering at the look of anguish on his handsome face. She missed the carefree man who had flirted so outrageously with her when they first met, the man who had worn down her resistance and taken her to his bed.

She missed the closeness between them and hated the cold distance that was driving them apart. She wanted it back, and she would do anything to get it back.

"I love you." She told him quietly.

His head lifted to stare at her. "Why else would you be putting up with all of this?" There was a tinge of bitterness to his tone.

"I love you, and I want what we had back." She continued. "For me to get through this, I need you. And I need you to stop blaming yourself. I am getting better. I am eating; before this, I could not even keep water down.

The scent of perfume, even the very taste of toothpaste, would have me gagging. But I can brush my teeth and smell food, which does not bother me. I am getting better, just as the doctor says. I am eating- Landen, please look at me."

She pleaded. "Because I am starting to think that you cannot bear to do so because of my lost weight. I am starting to think you don't find me attractive anymore." She ended in a whisper.

Pushing back his chair, he came around to where she was seated. Plucking her up, he sat down with her in his lap. "I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met," he told her gruffly. "And I cannot control my emotions for the first time in my life. I want you, Tessa. Wanting you is like a fire burning inside me."

Her heart melted at the ragged look on his handsome face.

"Then have me." She whispered.

"No." he shook his head. "I can't."

"I need you. It does not have to be rough; I just need to feel you deep inside me. It's been too long, and I am suffering from withdrawal-" His mouth swallowed up the rest of the words as he seized hers in a kiss that rocked her entire foundation!

With a whimper of joy, she wrapped her hands around his neck and welcomed the wonderful invasion of his tongue.

Landen felt the simmering passion that had been lying dormant burst into flames, one that was threatening to consume him. His mouth devoured hers, and he felt the familiar passion storming through his body.

The control was slowly slipping away, and with almost superhuman strength, he ended the kiss, his heart beating thundering inside his chest, his skin feverish.

"Landen-"

"I need a minute." He strove to get his rampaging passion under control.

"I cannot sleep without you."

"You won't have to." Getting to his feet, he clasped her and strode off toward the lovely and cozy bedroom. The housekeeper had burned a fire in the hearth to eliminate the chill. Placing her carefully on the pillows, he stepped back to divest himself of his clothing before climbing next to her.

"Do you want me to keep my clothes on?" she asked him tremulously.

"Why would-" He began, and then understanding dawned. He had told her he could not bear to see how thin she was now. "Let me." His touch was unbelievably gentle as he eased up to remove the thick sweater she had donned after her shower earlier.

His heart twisted inside his chest as he noticed the ribs poking out and the concave stomach. She was almost three months pregnant, but it was not showing anywhere other than her breasts, which seemed to be fuller.

"I am sorry." She whispered.

"For what?" he asked gruffly as he peeled off her leggings and panties.

"For looking like this. I promise that I will eat everything in sight-"

"Stop it." His eyes had darkened, and his fingers trembled as they cupped her breasts.

"Forgive me for making you feel less than beautiful. You are." Sliding down next to her, he turned her to face him. His hands cupped her cheeks, eyes meeting hers as he bent his head to brush his lips against hers.

Heat and desire shimmered through her thin body. Lifting a hand, she touched his chest, feeling her body heating up further when his muscles flexed reflexively as he responded to her light touch.

Shoving his hands into the sides of her hair, he held her steady while he plundered her mouth, the feeling of faintness going through his body at the familiar taste of her. She was right. It had been too long, and all the pent-up longing and desire poured through his body like liquid fire.

Ending the kiss, he dragged his mouth to her cheek and down to her throat, where her pulse was beating madly. Shifting further down, he nuzzled the rigid flesh of her nipple, his breath stirring her already fevered senses.

Taking the nipple into his mouth, he suckled gently before pulling it between his teeth. Her body arched, fingers digging into his shoulders and biting into his back as sensations poured through her body like waves crashing against a rock.

Switching to the other nipple, he gave it the same thorough treatment before turning her onto her side.

"What-"

"I want you from behind," he told her harshly. "It's the only way to ensure I do not hurt you." Guiding his swollen shaft inside her, he had to stop and take several breaths as her tightness wrapped around him like a glove. "Sweetheart," he whispered brokenly. "How I have missed you."

Twisting her head around, she offered her mouth, and he took it like a man without food for days. One hand drifted to her stomach and then to the apex between her thighs. He moved slowly at first, gently rocking his hips, his fingers busy with the swollen flesh protruding from the folds of her vagina.

Gripping the hand wrapped around her waist, Tessa moved with him as his mouth ravished hers. Her body jerked spasmodically as he tormented her with his fingers.

The feel of him buried deep inside her was more than she could bear, and within minutes, she was exploding, her cries swallowed deep inside his throat. He came shortly after, his body heaving toward hers as he emptied himself, watering the mouth of her womb with his seed.