Chapter 13

He had made a decision on his way to the apartment he stayed at the last time he was here. He would take a well-needed shower, shave, and get something to eat. He could order something light from the restaurant a few blocks away.

He had taken a shower and shaved, but the sight of the meal on his plate made his stomach turn. And he had not managed to contain his rage. His mother had visited her at her place of work, and he could just imagine what had been said.

Glancing at the clock, he realized it was almost ten, meaning it was around three in his country. He didn't give a damn about waking her.

Plucking the phone from the counter, he pressed the number, and she answered after the second ring.

"Is everything all right?"

"You almost sound concerned," he said softly. "If I did not know any better, I would think you cared. But I know you, Mother."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Don't you?" Lunging to his feet, he went to pour himself a glass of scotch. "I had no idea you took a trip out of the country."

There was silence, and he waited, the anger churning inside his gut.

"She told you."

"No, actually, her sister did. Tessa is unconscious. You see, mother, she is carrying my baby inside her, and it's not going well. She never told me about the pregnancy-"

"Perhaps because it's not yours."

He initially thought that he could not be angrier than before, but he was dead wrong. "What did you say to me?"

"You just met this woman and-"

"Her name is goddamned Tessa!" He shouted. "What did you say to her? I want to know everything you told her, so please feel free to do so verbatim. Don't leave anything out."

"You have no right to talk to me-"

"I am waiting! Talk. Now."

This time, the silence stretched for so long that he thought she would hang up.

"I did what any mother would do. I told her to stay away from you. I told her that you had some woman stashed in one of the cottages-"

"What?"

"You think we didn't know about that tavern girl you have been seeing? We knew everything, and I told her that she was not the only one-"

"Mother, you left the country to come here to confront Tessa? Why would you do that?"

"I had no intention of allowing her to ruin your life." His mother snapped. "Blame me all you want, but she is not suited, and you know it."

Sitting back down, he closed his eyes wearily. "I want you to listen carefully because I will only say this once. I am in love with her. She is the only woman I want in my life, and I will not leave her side until she is well enough. When that happens, I am going to marry her. You and Father do not have to be there.

That's fine by me. I am perfectly willing and able to cut you both out of my life. And if you ever come near her again, unless you plan on apologizing to her - if you ever come near her again, you will not like what happens after."

"You cannot-"

"I can do whatever the bloody hell I want. I am an adult, and in case you have forgotten, I am in charge of finance. Goodnight, Mother."

He hung up and took a long swallow of the drink.

Tessa knew about Jillian. His mother had filled her in and told her all manner of nasty things. Was that why she had fainted? Why was her blood pressure going through the roof? Had she taken what his mother said to her to heart?

He had come into her life and brought her all kinds of heartbreak and pain. Was he even worth her time? He wondered wearily.

Her sister had told him that she had said anything to him about anything because she had not wanted to add to his burdens. How had she come up with the idea that she should shield him?

Slamming the glass down on the counter, he rose a little unsteadily. He realized that the exhaustion, emotionally and physically, combined with the drink he had imbibed on an empty stomach, was having an adverse effect on him. His head was spinning, and he felt sick to his stomach.

Making his way out of the kitchen, he went into the living room to drop on the sofa. Stretching himself full length, he closed his eyes, keeping his phone close. When he arrived, he had called the doctor and was told there were no further updates.

"Her blood pressure is decreasing slightly, so that's good news."

Settling back against the cushions, he closed his eyes wearily, but he kept seeing the way she looked lying in that hospital bed. It was so different from how she had looked when he last saw her that he could barely stand it. Would she hate him when she wakes up? Was she resenting that he had put her in so much trouble?

And what if something went wrong? Would she be able to carry this pregnancy? The fetus appeared to be sucking the life out of her - what if there was an option to - No! He could not even bear to finish the thought.

He wanted their baby, but not at the expense of her life. If it comes to it, he was naturally going to suggest they saved her because he could not bear the thought of going on without her.

*****

"She is doing a little better."

"Only a little?" Landen had not slept much last night, and when he had managed to doze off in the early hours of the morning, it had been plagued by nightmares of him standing over her dead body. He had called the hospital early this morning to check on her. And now he was here.

"She is responding well to treatment, and her blood pressure is not as bad."

"Is there somewhere we can talk before I see her?"

"Of course." Dr. Sterling led him into a private office and closed the doors. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No, thanks." Shoving his hands into the pockets of his tan trousers, he looked around the elegantly appointed office and viewed the certificates on the silky blue wallpaper. "The baby is causing her all of this distress?"

"Yes." The man answered.

"And if it was removed?"

Dr. Sterling put his coffee cup down and sat behind his desk, gray eyes leveling on the man before him. "You are asking about the termination of the pregnancy."

"Yes." He clipped.

"Is that what you want?"

"I want her to be better and not be hooked up to some bloody machines."

"These things take time-"

"How much time? How much longer will she be out of it?"

"There is no set time. She could come out of the coma today."

"And then what? Will she be force-fed like what's happening now?"

"I have no idea. It could mean that this will pass after she is going into her second trimester-"

"And it could happen again."

"It might. In any case, we cannot terminate her pregnancy without her consent, only in the most dire circumstances. And we are not there yet. I appreciate the fact that you are worried-"

"I am terrified, doctor. And that's the gist of it. She has lost so much bloody weight, I am afraid even to touch her, in case she is going to shatter into a million pieces."

"I can assure you that we are doing everything we can." The man told him quietly.

"I am sure." He shook his head. "Thanks for your time. I would like to go and see her now."

"Of course."

Landen shook his head when he was about to rise. "I know my way."

*****

"Honey, your hot baby daddy is here. He flew in from London, and I don't mean to add to your stress, but he is upset that you did not tell him about your pregnancy and the fact that his bitch of a mother came to see you."

Karen brushed back her sister's hair and secured the thick strands into a loose knot on her head. "Oh, honey, we want you to get well and wake up. Please wake up. Brian was here last night and will return to see you later."

"I am sorry-"

"Oh!" Karen whirled around to see Landen standing just inside the doorway. "I was just tidying her up a little."

"You were here all night?"

Karen nodded, putting away the brush and straightening the gown. "I checked in every few minutes. The staff are excellent here, but I wanted to ensure she was cared for."

He nodded, eyes going to the woman in bed. "She looks so still."

"She needs the rest. And I have every confidence that she will be okay."

"Do you?" His eyes veered toward the woman, and he marveled that they both looked so different. Karen was merely attractive, but Tessa was stunning. He wondered if the woman had ever been jealous of her beautiful sibling.

"Yes. I have hope, and she is strong." Getting to her feet, she stepped away from the bed. "Just talk to her."

"I have a lot to say." His smile was a little crooked as he came and took the chair Karen had abandoned. "You should go and get some sleep."

"I will be back later." With a wave, she left the room and closed the door behind her.

Taking her limp hand in his, he studied the long, elegant fingers with the blunt nails. From the first time, he had noticed that she did not keep them long, and her hand was soft and delicate.

"I want to see you paint. It's funny that we spent that month together, and you never showed me any of your work." His head lifted to stare at her, and he felt the familiar constriction in his chest at how pronounced her bones were.

"And I never told you much about my childhood." He smiled grimly. "I guess you can say that you met my mother." His smile faded, and his expression turned bleak. "I apologize for her lack of manners, darling. I never knew she would go that far. I didn't even know she had left the country." Lifting her hand, he kissed the back of it.

"She told you about Jillian. She was just someone I had been seeing before I met you, and I broke things off with her immediately after returning to London. I told you that I could not bear to be with anyone else, and that was the truth." He sighed wearily. "Our lives have been irrevocably changed, and I think it is for the better.

But I don't know how you feel about being pregnant. Are you blaming me for putting you through all of this? I cannot lose you, darling." Bending his head, he pressed a kiss on her forehead. "I cannot lose you."

*****

Tessa felt like she was in the middle of a very dark place and coming slowly into the light. Her heavy eyelids fluttered open, and the buzzing of the machines caught her attention, bringing back memories of what had happened. Turning her head, she gazed around the room, a frown touching her brow.

She saw the cheerful lime green walls, the table next to the bed, and the large-screen television hooked up to the wall. Then her gaze touched the corner of the room, and she felt her heart shudder at the sight of the man sprawled in a chair.

Landen! Oh God, she was not dreaming. He was here. She must have made a sound because it galvanized him out of the chair, his eyes going immediately to the bed.

"Landen?" She croaked.

"You're awake." His voice was hoarse, and it took him less than a second to get to her. Sitting on the edge, his eyes roved over her face. "How are you?"

"I feel like an idiot." She admitted, attempting a smile. "You're here."

"We have some things to discuss."

She looked away from him. "I should have told you."

"You should have." Tucking his fingers beneath her chin, he stared at her steadily. "Why didn't you?"

"You had so much gone on. First, it was your dad, and then you told me about the lawsuit-"

"Which had nothing to do with us. You are carrying my baby inside you, and you said nothing to me. I called you almost every day-"

"I am sorry. Oh God!" She bit her lip. "I started feeling awful, and I could not keep anything down, and I needed you so much. Then your mother-"

"I know," he said grimly. "Something else you kept from me. I had to hear it from your sister."

"She said you were involved with someone."

"I was," he admitted quietly. "That was before I came to the States, and after I returned home, I ended things with her. You should have called and asked for an explanation-" He shook his head. "I am not going to lay this on you right now. The good thing is that you are awake and -"

"I look like hell." She concluded. "I don't need a mirror to know I am a walking bag of bones."

"Well, technically, you are lying down." His attempt at humor failed and made her look even more miserable. "It's my fault." Taking her hand in his, he linked their fingers. "I did this. I was bloody selfish and should have known better."

"What are you talking about?" She asked with a frown.

"I impregnated you, and now your life is in peril."

"Is that what the doctors are saying?"

"You cannot keep anything down-"

"An acute state of nausea, I know. It happens to some pregnant women.' She tightened her fingers on his. "I want this baby, and don't think for one minute that I regret what led to it. I am going to get better-"

"You cannot keep anything down."

"It will pass." She insisted. "Yes, I feel like crap now, but very soon, I will be eating down the place."

"I am taking you away."

"What? Where?"

"We have this cottage in Scotland, in the middle of nowhere. There are a couple who live there and who oversee the place. You need a place to rest and regain your appetite and strength."

"Landen, I just can"t just drop everything and leave-"

"That was not a question, Tessa," he told her firmly. "I am going to consult with the doctors, and as soon as they clear you, I am taking you away."

"For how long?"

"However long it takes."

"My job-"

"Do you honestly think you can go back to work now?" His eyes smoldered with a fire that stunned her and made her realize he was trying his best to control his anger. Taking a deep breath, he let go of her hand and rose. "I should call the doctors and let them know you are up."

"Landen-"

"We will talk later." Walking over, he pressed the call button and went toward the door. When the doctors and nurses came in, he left, closing the doors behind him.

He had also called her siblings, and they came to visit, but he had not returned to the room.

"He is upset." Tessa plucked at the sheets listlessly.

"I had to tell him about his mother visiting you." Her sister told her.

"And he heard about your pregnancy when I called him to tell him you were in the hospital." Her brother added. "He flew straight here. The guy was a wreck."

"I should have told him. He wants to take me to Scotland."

Karen stared at her with a frown. "I am not certain you can leave just yet."

"He is willing to wait until I can," she stared at them. "I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. One of the nurses handed me a mirror, and I was looking at a stranger. I look like a scarecrow."

"A beautiful scarecrow." Her sister teased.

"I feel like crap, and I cry at the drop of a hat. I am depressed, and I screwed things up. I promised him that I would let him know the minute I found out I was pregnant, and I didn't."

"You didn't want to burden him." Her sister reminded her.

"That's bull, and we both know it. I was afraid he was not coming back, and I wanted to save myself from the hurt." Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes wearily. "Can you go and find him, please?" She looked from one to the other. "I need to see him."

"Of course." Brian bent to kiss her on the forehead before pushing out of the chair. "I am happy to see you are still with us."

"I will come and check in on you before I leave."

"Thanks, Karen." She smiled at her sister.

He came in slowly, his eyes on her face as he approached the bed. "I was giving your family a chance to visit with you."

"Was that what you were doing?" Lifting a hand, she waited for him to take it. "Sit, please."

When he did, she curled her fingers into his palm and drank in the sight of him. "You shaved?"

"And took a shower."

"I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"I suspected I was pregnant a few weeks after you left. I was late, and I felt sick to my stomach. I left the gallery and went to a pharmacy and bought three kits. They all were positive, and I was giddy with delight. But I wanted to make certain-"

"And you did." He interrupted coolly. "You told your siblings. I am the man who did this to you, and I specifically asked you to call me if there was a chance - a chance, Tessa. Even the slightest inkling. You led me to believe that everything was okay."

"And that was a mistake and one I am apologizing for. I have this thing about me; it's annoying and impractical, but when I love someone, I want to protect them."

"From what?"

"You had a lot going on, and I wanted to tell you the news face to face."

"You could have video-called me." He pointed out. "And that was not your call to make. I am the one who should be protecting you."

"I did what I did because I thought it was the right thing to do then. I know I look awful-"

"You are beautiful and always will be." His fingers tightened on hers. "If you are fishing for compliments, there are better ways to do so." He winced when she dug her nails into his palm. "I see you are getting stronger."

"That's right, I am. About Scotland-"

"I already made the arrangements. We leave as soon as you are discharged."

Her eyes flashed at his highhandedness. "I have not said yes."

"Darling, if I have to carry you to that plane, I will, but we are going to Scotland," he warned.

"And what will we be doing there?"

"You will be resting and eating. Do you have any idea what it did to me when I was told you fainted at work?" He asked hoarsely. "And when I came into this room and saw you -" he shook his head. "I blamed myself for putting you through all of this, and I am going to dedicate my time to making sure you get back to your normal self."

"I am carrying a baby inside me." She reminded him mildly. "Normal will not be the order of the day for me again."

"As normal as possible."