Chapter Fourteen

Keres sat on the bed and looked around the room. It was quite different from what one would expect from a motorcycle club. Cleaner. Less pot stench. In fact, everything looked brand new. Even the shag carpet. She never would’ve pegged Ronin part of this world because he seemed like a loner, not a team player.

What did she do now? Once again, her life had fractured apart. She couldn’t save the man who had saved her. Was it worth it? Sitting here, she didn’t think so. Despite what they had promised each other, nothing was worth another life. Not worth Darby’s life. Tears leaked from her eyes, tracking down her cheeks, and she felt like an utter failure.

The door opened and Ronin stepped into the room, locking it behind him. They stared at one another, and she was suddenly floundering. Not sure of what to do, what to think. All she knew was that she needed something, so she held out her shaking hand. His pale green eyes snapped to her face, searching for what she didn’t know. The minutes stretched endlessly, and then he moved, grabbing her hand and pulling her into his arms. His mouth slammed down on hers, breathing life into her shattered heart.

They didn’t say a word to each other. Words were archaic compared to the mental foreplay. One kiss led to another. Tongues touched, breathing grew precarious. Pleasure shot hard and heavy through her body. It was a mad dash to undress one another. Off came t-shirts. Down came jeans. When the last garment fell, he pulled away and stared down into her eyes.

“Do you want this?” he asked.

She blinked, not liking being cast from the rising tide of need.

“Keres.”

“Yes,” she replied, gulping in air. “Please. I want … I need…”

“You need to feel alive, don’t you?”

She didn’t respond, but she didn’t have to. In the deep depths of his gaze, compassionate understanding settled her nerves. Ronin spun her around and moved her hair off her nape, to nip the sensitive skin on the back of her neck. He slid his hands over her hips and up her body to cup her breasts. Rolling the nipples between his thumb and index finger. She moaned as she thrust her ass backward, wanting more. Feeling freedom she never thought she’d feel again. She might be broken and fractured into a thousand pieces, but Ronin seemed to sense what she needed. What she could handle to leave her yearning.

He made her believe she was normal once more.

One of his hands traveled down, sliding between her thighs and past the tuft of hair that guarded her femininity. He gently touched her, gliding his fingers up and down her slit. Slowly pushing in. Keres gasped and arched her back, pressing back against him. Grinding her ass against the hard bulge of his cock.

“Is that what you wanted, baby?” he murmured softly into her ear.

A sob caught in her throat. Yes. Yes . She needed this and so much more to make everything disappear in her mind. To blanket all the horrible memories. To survive one more day, refusing to cave into the black hole that wanted to swallow her completely.

“Please,” she panted. “Give me more.”

“I know what you crave,” he whispered in her ear. His tongue swiped over the shell just before he gently bit the lobe. “Do you even know? You need my cock in this glorious ass of yours?”

She’d never had anal sex before. That had been one thing her rapists hadn’t done to her, although she had to watch Abigail get sodomized. She had no idea what it felt like, but at that moment, her body came alive on a visceral level. Her core pulsed. She was hungry for connection. To him. To herself. Needing something to ground her before she bled out from the lingering mental wounds. In some sick, twisted way, she craved any pain he wanted to inflict. Maybe then she’d come back to life.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he said, and his hand smacked her on one ass cheek.

She whimpered as fire licked across the tender skin. He did it again, the loud smack cracking through the room. Then he rubbed where he’d spanked her, soothing the burn. He went from massaging her ass cheek to running his fingers through her slit, spreading her arousal around. Over and over, each spanking got a little harder, until her backside was a quivering mess. Tears leaked from her eyes, but she wante d— no, crave d— the sting.

“More,” she moaned.

“Does my baby like to be spanked?” he purred. He latched onto the skin where her shoulder met her neck, sucking hard.

She couldn’t answer, not because she was embarrassed, but because she didn’t know the answer. Before … well, before her life turned to shit, she’d had only two boyfriends, and they’d never delved into anything so erotic. Maybe she really did like the sensation, or maybe the pain was the only reason she didn’t splinter apart and disappear into the cosmos.

He seemed to sense that she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, answer. Instead, he grabbed her hips and maneuvered her until she lay with her cheek on the bed and her ass in the air. Ronin gathered her hair and carefully pulled, stretching her head back.

Cool lube dripped down her crack, and his fingers spread it around her rosette before breaching the tight ring. At first, her body resisted, but he continued invading and a hot flare ignited something unknown and primitive. Time seemed to slow down as he inserted another finger, prepping her hole to accommodate his cock, which was far longer and thicker. She buried her face in the bed, sobbing. Pleading. Begging.

Then he was gone, and she heard the foil of a condom wrapper before he grabbed her hips and lined himself up. Slowly, he eased forward. At first, a throbbing ache pierced through the haze of desire. She stiffened and he trailed his fingers down her spine. The caress contrasted with the sting of his penetration.

“Relax,” he gently ordered. “Breathe in and as you exhale, relax your muscles. Accept it rather than fight it.”

She did as he instructed, over and over until her muscles released their rigidity. As soon as the large mushroom head eased past the tight barrier, the pain transformed. Pleasure so sharp had her crying out. Ronin pushed deeper until finally, he was seated all the way inside.

“Holy fuck,” he panted.

He eased back, applied more lube, and slid back inside. Starting out slow, building up to a pleasurable rhythm. Ronin groaned and gripped her hips to meet his thrusts. Time lost all meaning as she floated on the precipice. Teetering on something so monumental she wondered if it would change her life forever.

He reached around to pet her clit, rubbing the bundle of nerves that drove her crazy. It was too much to hold back, and she screamed as she flew apart. Piece by piece, she disintegrated into pure bliss.

She was barely aware of him finding his own fulfillment. He slumped over her back, his chest heaved as the orgasm washed through him. For one moment, in one heartbeat to the next, she felt alive. All the sadness, the anger, and fear vanished into the ether.

Then he pulled out of her, and that euphoria collapsed like a house of cards.